A/N:
It's been so long. D: Okay, well not that long, but certainly longer then we planned. This is what happens when you have a gamer trying to get through high school writing a chaptered fic. Very slow updates. o.O I swear the next one will come faster, or Raven might just kill me. Well...no, I can tell you my next chapter will be a struggle. ;3
Enjoy this one though. -insert evil laughter here-______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ever heard of a little thing called emotional overload? Y'know, how you feel too much and all that crap all at once and like…break down and stuff? Yeah, I was pretty much nearing having one of those. Only, try replacing 'emotion' with 'Mello' and you'd get my situation.

I didn't even know it was possible to have too much of Mello. Nah, scratch that. It isn't possible. Let's try just getting a lot, consecutively, and much too quickly. I had expected Mello to not put up with my clinging. I'd expected Mello to snap at me over my very much unrestrained joy at having him back. And I'd expected Mello to provide some sort of insult along the lines of how totally fucking gay I was acting.

I had absolutely not expected those strong arms to return my clinging embrace. Had not expected him to not only take away my goggles, but look me directly in the eye, something he never did. As much as he complained about me 'using my eyes', I wonder if he ever considered the force of his own. I mean, how was it even possible to have something the color of ice, be so damn hot at the same time? Like those weird flames you got when you lit up driftwood…only bluer, and much, much, more -

Oh my Zelda…was that his mouth? On mine? Jeez, it was such an unusual feeling; new, but not at all unpleasant. That word didn't belong anywhere near this…kiss? Yes a kiss, because as soon as the thought occurred to me, I slanted my lips over his, successfully molding our lips together.

And it was perfect.

More than perfect. It was unquestionably the best thing that I'd ever had the luck to experience in...my entire life. Better then getting a new game, or beating that new game after hours and hours of playing near non stop. Better even than when I'd first received the PlayStation; best game system to date lemme tell you, that now sat neglected in my duffel bag.

…So it was a bit sad that I was comparing my first kiss with the person who was indisputably the love of my life to video-gaming. Sue me. Next to Mello, my games were the most important thing in my life. It was only natural to compare.

Though they definitely did not even come close. My hands had found there way to his face, holding it delicately, tilting my head at just the right angle to provide myself better access to his wonderful lips. Even as I was just now getting used to this, Mello deepened the kiss.

There was a sort of electricity in the air now. Could that be the whole 'sparks flying' sort of thing you heard about when a pair had chemistry? Might have been, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Or even really think at all as I felt his hands on my shirt…scratch that, under my shirt, pushing it up. The cold air of the room hit my skin fast, little goose bumps popping up over my skin. Well….those might not exactly have been from the cold, but whatever.

My shirt was up under my arms now, Mello's long, slightly calloused fingers passing up and down my sides. Reverently? Or just teasing? Whatever it was, it was slow, and definite torture. My skin tingled with every passing of his fingers, heat pooling into every inch of my body.

Including the flush to my cheeks when a few things finally clicked. Firstly, this was not Mello-like behavior, not when it came to me that was. Not to say I was complaining, I was enjoying this…very much. Secondly came the fact that, no matter how little experience I had, I could tell this wasn't going to be just a sweet little kissing session. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or a bad, but hell if it wasn't making me blush like crazy.

Which was something that seemed to please Mello, as he pulled me closer still, his chest almost flush against mine. The kiss intensified further, the insistent sweeping of his tongue over my lower lip sending tingly shivers down my spine. Or maybe that was because his hands were now tracing idle patters on my lower back, I couldn't keep track anymore.

Apparently the licking had some other purpose then trying to add pleasure to the kiss, seeing as Mello grabbed my jaw, tilting my head in a manner that pretty much forced my mouth to open. That and the fact that he actually shoved his tongue in caught me off guard…I mean seriously who would have thought? Okay, so it was sort of an obvious thing you did when you kissed, I'd just never really thought of it before. What the hell was I supposed to-

Oh….that felt really, really good. Did I actually moan? Yeah, I think I did, but hell that was amazing. I definitely wasn't minding the whole tongue thing anymore. In fact…I'm just going to try and stop thinking now, it seemed to be distracting from the situation at hand. That was most definitely not a good thing.

Before I could even properly melt into the kiss, those abso-frickin'-lutely amazing lips were cruelly removed from mine. Mello had his hands on my shirt again, yanking it upwards as if to pull it up though that couldn't possibly work as my arms were still down. I went to lift my arms a bit to aid him, but sure enough there was the distinct sound of fabric ripping…before he ended up pulling it over my head. That little set back aside, it was time to work on his. Just how was the question.

No, wait, there was a zipper. How incredibly easy, all considering the fact that he was wearing leather. Wasn't that supposed to be hard to take off? And wasn't I supposed to be not thinking? Let's get back to that.

The same moment I reached out to glide my fingers over the smooth, sort of cool material, I found myself letting out a small, shaky laugh.

"Leather, Mels?" Once I thought on it, I found that to be rather amusing. It was just so Mello. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd have worn it back at Wammy's; if it were allowed that was. As it were, leather was most certainly not allowed, and I'd been denied the sight of my very, very sexy best friend in said tight fitting material for all those years.

Say it like that and it almost sounded creepy. Heh.

But we're talking about me here. Y'know Matt? The helpless gamer nerd that didn't even think that kissing involved getting Mello's tongue shoved near down your throat?

…Okay I really needed to stop thinking now, because everything I thought was coming out twisted and unappealing.

"Yes leather, its more suiting to my way of business," I hadn't really expected an answer, so this got me to pause and look at Mello in question. What was his way of business anyway? I'd yet to ask, and found myself undeniably curious now. What a time to start asking questions…

This time no further explanation was given. Mello just rolled his eyes, and proceeded to tug off his own vest, chucking it aside to join wherever my shirt had fallen. My eyes fell to his newly bared chest, mouth going dry, and swallowing heavily.

Holy freaking…wow. I think I forgot how to breathe for a minute, as I put together Mello's absolutely hot body with his equally amazing face and…wow. Again. There was definitely reverence in my touch as I trailed my fingers over the lean muscles of his pale chest. Not so pale as me, lightly tanned even, and decidedly more muscled than my own. He was thin, yes, but not wiry or disproportionate. It all worked, a wonderful, lovely balance of strength and beauty. It was hard not to marvel, as I had back at Wammy's, and probably always would.

It struck me then though. Mello had changed. Not just physically, but mentally as well, emotionally. My Mels wouldn't be in such attire as this to begin with, practically setting himself on a whorish display. He wouldn't have such a strong, almost harsh grip in my hair, holding me there so that the ravishing of my lips could continue. It wasn't just the things I could see and feel either, but something was…off. Something about him was wrong, and not at all like the Mello I knew and loved.

Such thoughts were all but vanquished from my mind when Mello's fingertips brushed light over the skin just over the hem of my pants, successfully catching my attention and holding it there. Before I could stop it, another noise built up in my throat, escaping me in a light exhale of air. Once more his lips were no longer on mine, or anywhere on me for that matter. His hands never left my skin, but his upper body had pulled away, and I felt his eyes on me.

My own, which I hadn't remembered closing, opened once more, and I was watching him in turn. Never once did his eyes meet mine as the scrutinized my half bared body. There was no awe in his calculating blue eyes, just a sort of appraisal. Not even the look Mello had given me when we'd first spoken, when he'd been trying to see if I were really worth his time. It was colder, much less personal; a look you would give a piece of merchandise, not a possible lover.

To try and distract myself from the oddity of this, I leaned in myself, dipping my head to plant clumsy, but sure kisses over his neck, trailing a path down to his chest. Almost mechanically it seemed, his hand went to my hair, brushing through it in a pleasurable manner. I sighed, pleased that at least things were turning more normal again. I was able to concentrate on learning how to pleasure Mello as surely he could pleasure me, practically worshiping the beautiful expanse of taut flesh before me with my mouth and hands. It was only because I was so close to his chest that I caught the softest of moans, telling me that I was not failing as miserably as I would have thought.

The silence wasn't to last though, and soon Mello had thrown a random comment into the air.

"You've lost weight."

"Not that much…"

"Yes that much. You didn't grow much taller either."

"Excuse me for not knowing I was supposed to."

There was the briefest of pauses, and I could still feel Mello's eyes trailing over me. With the back of me now easier seen, it seemed he had more to scrutinize. "But you've matured…nicely," His fingers were on me again, trailing down my spine, sending shivers of delight through me. It felt really nice, better then nice, words wouldn't describe…

"Er…Thank you?" I wasn't sure how to take his words once they registered. It sounded like a compliment, but the tone he said it in held no affection. If there were any affection to be noted, I would have caught it. Period.

I received nothing more then a noncommittal grunt in answer. Still his fingertips dipped lower, once more trailing elegant patterns over the small of my back. Lower still passed that, to much more of an untouched area. And I was pressing into his touch, welcoming, urging lower until…

He was gone. Out of touching reach, the warmth of his body no longer lingering with mine. All of him, his hands, his mouth, his scent…all out of reach again. Leaving me in an awkward position, hands and knees on the couch supporting me, head still dipped. My breath still came out in heavy pants, and to my dismay, and actual whine escaped me for my loss.

I lifted my head, aiming to meet his eyes, silently pleading to know what I'd done wrong to turn him away. He didn't look at me, even as I shifted my position so that I was sitting properly. It was only when I went to stand, when my fingers brushed over his wrist, did he turn his eyes to me again.

Those definitely were not the eyes of my Mello. They were cold as ice, without his usual fire, almost dead looking, devoid of anything that used to be there when he looked at me. It was the first time I could remember that he grasped the goggles around my neck, not to pull them off, but to pull them over my eyes. Hiding away what he was always complaining he never got to see.

"I didn't bring you here for my pleasure Matt. I need you for something more important."

"What is it Mels?" There was definite tension about Mello's frame, that would have gone unnoticed by any other person but myself. I itched to grab his wrist, to pull him down next to me again and try and will that tension away. There was something wrong about it; something beyond the kind he got back at Wammy's. Something I didn't like.

"Against my expectations, you haven't asked yet." His voice was barely a murmur, as if he were speaking to himself, his back was turned on me once more, and he was pacing. Not a thoughtful pace, but one of agitation, like a caged lion. "Don't you wonder what I've been up to these past years, Matt?" There was no pause given for me to answer, instead he continued on, voice picking up to normal levels again as he recounted the past years to me.

It left me speechless to say the least. Mello, my Mels…went to the Mafia, of all things. He'd needed people to back him up, a strong force, and apparently that was his best bet. I was surprised, struck wordless, unable to put this together in a way that made sense as it should.

Yet at the same time, I wasn't too shocked. It was Mello after all. Mello who would do anything to be on top, who had the skill and brains that rivaled those that far surpassed him in age and status. Who had the fire and ferocity, to yes, be at the top of the Mafia.

"-just one thing Matt, one small detail, and I could get up there. Four years of working my ass off would finally be worth it. That's where you come in."

His pacing ceased, he turned to me with still chilling blue eyes. There was something of the old Mello, my Mello, left in those azure depths, something that called out to me and claimed my attentions. A look that he'd only gotten in his most helpless moments, when it all became too much. A look only I ever saw. Pleading almost, for me not to speak, not to question, not to judge, just to understand.

"How Mels? How can I help?" Anything, I would do anything for him. I'd told him before, he should know that by now.

There was the briefest of hesitations, it might have even been imagined, before. "You're going to get fucked, that's how. That innocence of yours is going to get me somewhere. Not just somewhere, up there, Matt."

For the life of me, I could not force words to form in my confounded mind.

As I stared into those cold eyes, completely devoid of emotion, my heart crumbled into a pained, betrayed mess of powder.

Mello, my Mello, who I loved and trusted, the only person I would willingly hand my...my virginity to, had sold me.

And all I could do was nod wordlessly, cleaning up the mess of my crumbled heart in, telling myself it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

I don't care how much you hate us for this. Review. ^^;
l
l
l
V