HELLO, PEASANTS. I'VE MISSED YOU. BUT I'VE BEEN WITHOUT A COMPUTER TO UPDATE WITH, SO I APOLOGIZE. I LOVE YOU ALL, THOUGH. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS, AND I LEAVE YOU WITH ANOTHER SLIGHT BORING CLIFF-HANGER, BUT ILU KBYE. /waves at all people, then flies to the bottom of the page.

Natalia nodded again, following it with words. "If you want to, I don't really mind. If it wouldn't kill ya, I think it'd be nice."

"I don't mean to be stupid, but what do girls like you even drink?" He quizzically arched an eyebrow. "For all I know, you and Katyushka could have drank vodka with Ivan and the polar bears." That was a lame joke, even for Alfred.

"There really are no 'girls like me,' considering the fact that Kat is sickly nowadays, and when I can't handle taking care of her, Ivan does it, and I hang out here. Normally, if I pay, I drink whatever is set in front of me. I'm just not picky when it comes to alcohol." Natalia gave a slight chuckle at the polar bear remark, shaking her head. "Čort, niama. Even if that could happen, it wouldn't."

"Ah...I see..." It was awkward to hear that for some reason or another. "Then I guess a little Coke n' Rum wouldn't bother you?" It was a little curious to actually wonder who came up with the whole 'Coke and Rum' deal. Maybe it was an idea hatched by Arthur and Alfred...or just Alfred.

"Coke n' Rum. That's great for calming someone down, y'know. It wouldn't bother me, not at all." Natalia nodded, though slightly unsure as to why.

"Two rum and coke, please?" He called to the bartender, smiling widely. "I try and ask girls if they want anything, and usually they come up with excuses."

Natalia let a small smile spread on her face, waiting patiently for the drinks he'd just asked the bartender for. "Pfff. Excuses are pointless. They should just tell you that they think you're hitting on them, and to go away. That'd be the honest truth, and I'm guessing that's what you get from them."

"Nah, they just say 'I'm pregnant' and hand their drink off to someone else." He sighed. "I get that one a lot. Along with 'my boyfriend's over there' or 'I'm with my girlfriend tonight'."

Natalia pursesd her lips, nodding. "Those aren't actually completely terrible. I've heard so much worse, just around. There's the old 'I don't drink,' thing that makes me laugh every time. It's over-played and stupid. No one believes it, no matter how sincere it sounds. The most fun you can have is getting a lesbian chick wasted to the point that she offers random guys lap dances. Rather entertaining, if I do say so myself." She grinned, thinking back on the last time she'd forced Ivan to actually go to the bar, when that had happened. Ivan had been so confused, and so DRUNK that night.

"Oh..." He blinked. The bartender put the two drinks on the bar, a cute little umbrella hanging out the side of Natalia's. "Well...Drink up, I guess." He smiled, taking a sip of his own."

Natalia nodded, not quite sure how that was taken, even if it was meant to be something found funny. "Thank you for this," she held up her drink before bringing it to her lips. She took two mouthfuls before setting it down again. This was something nice to have. Might as well savor it.

"It's not a problem, really." Alfred chuckled, looking at his drink. "It's kind of fun, really."

Natalia raised an eyebrow, shooting him a confused sideways glance. "Fun how, exactly?"

"You're different, in a good way." He said simply. "You're not the hot brunette trying to get a guy, nor are you the ditzy blonde who has no smarts." Alfred moved his glasses, smiling. "You're fun, cause I don't get to talk to pretty and smart people."

Natalia took a moment, mulling this over in her head. "Thank you, then. Y'know, most of the people I've ever had offer to buy me a drink have been complete assholes looking for sex and nothing but." She widened her eyes in mock horror, holding up her glass and inspecting it for a moment. "This wasn't drugged, was it?!" A smile was offered, and she set her drink back where it was.

"Oh, ha ha ha..." He set his own down, mischievously wringing his hands and leaned closer. "Hee Hee, it absolutely is drugged, my pretty~" The face he was making was far from serious, but he couldn't help but to grin. "Nah, but it's fine. It went straight from the bar to you, so you don't need to worry."

Natalia laughed, the sound unpurposeful, and she slapped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide in embarrassment rather than the mock fear from before. "I saw that. And, I apologize for that hideous sound I just emitted. That was terrifying, wasn't it?"

"It was actually kind of nice." He nodded. "Very attractive. But mine... mine is terrible. I start to laugh too hard, and I snort like a pig."

She raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Are you completely sure of this? You don't have impaired judgment or thinking?" Maybe what she had said at one point in the past was still applicable now. Perhaps one thing she disliked about herself could be enjoyed by others.

"I'm not wasted, if that's what you're asking." He smiled. "Most laughs I've heard are pretty damn fake."

A shrug. "Yes, that's exactly what I was asking. Most of the time, that's the only stage in which my laughter is acceptable by people. My laugh can't be forced. Only earned."

"I guess I earned that one then." Alfred looked at the bar clock, it was only nine-thirty.

Natalia nodded, noting to keep her guard up just a little bit. "Guess so. So, other than being a trumpet-playing tone deaf artist who claims to have a horrible laugh, what have you turned into in these years since high school?"

Well, I'm past pranking and Tee-P'ing people's houses, so I think I've turned into a pretty mellow guy." He shifted in his seat, trying not to sit awkwardly. In reality, barstools can only be so comfy for so long. "...Then again, my thoughts are kind of biased."

Another shrug. "That's good. After high school, that kind of thing can get you arrested. After all, people start thinking you're some kind of weirdo, trying to be younger than you are. And it'd be defiling someone's property. I just realized how horrible people must think of the kids who do that." She chuckled, imagining how she'd react if someone TP'd her home now, versus when she'd helped people do it in high school. Yekaterina would probably get up off of her death bed just to kill the kids who'd done it, knowing her. "Really?" she asked, leaving the imaginary scenario behind. "Biased how?"

"I may think of myself as an amazing, dead sexy male model, but that's just what I think. It's more of an opinion thing, really." He chuckled. It was fake, sure...but ...

Čort, niama = hell no

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