Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, except for the waiting
room people and the doctor. I don't own any of the plays or books mentioned.
You know the drill.
The curtains were drawn and the doors were closed. She was feeling particularly lonely right then.
"Maybe I should, like, listen to music or something." She reached over and thumbed through her CDs. "Backstreet Boys. Britney Spears?! Oh, please !" she snorted, "I'm not a child anymore." The thirteen - and a half! - year old picked up a Dead Can Dance CD and put it in her CD player. Insane, gruff chanting, grunts, and clicks filled the room as Jubilee settled down on her bed.
As she was closing her eyes, the door opened and Cyclops ran in. He was, no doubt, being followed by a rather angry Jean Grey.
Jubilee's eyes shot open and she jumped up. "What are you doing here?!"
"I need to borrow your room for a second."
"No! And why do you have flippers on?!"
"That is not the point. This is an order - " his voice changed from stern to timid and whiney as he hopped a little and flapped his flippers a bit - "save me from Jea-ean!"
"No! You act like I don't even have a life! Get out of my room !"
"Jubilee, that's an order!" Scott was running out of options. "Listen to me!"
"No," Jubilee growled, her voice lowering vastly in pitch. "You listen, Scotty-Boy: this is my room and you invaded my PRIVACY!!!! March your little one-eyed butt outta my room before I go atomic on you!!!!"
Cyclops could almost swear he saw flames shooting out of her eyes and considered, briefly, doing the same, but decided against it knowing that once the demon had left the teeny-bopper, she would be back to normal. He still had two options: one, get his eyes clawed out by Jean; or two, get his legs broken by a thirteen - and a half! - year-old girl.
He decided to take his chances with Jean. Besides, if she did try to claw out his eyes he could just blast her across the room. And it was a lot less humiliating to be conquered by Jean Grey, the Pheonix, than by Jubilee and her fireworks. Scott slowly backed toward the door.
Jubilee narrowed her eyes to dangerous slits and folded her arms across her chest. "Wise choice, old man."
Before Scott could say anything to retaliate the "old man" comment, the door flew open, revealing an angry, menacing Pheonix, the light behind her illuminating her, her arms outstretched, floating several inches above the ground, and hair haloing her head.
"Good luck," Jubilee said softly to Scott Summers sarcastically. To Jean she said, "He's right here, Jeanie!" She sounded cheerful and bouncy again, but as Jean dragged him away, he saw Jubilee standing with her arms crossed across her chest, her head held high, and a smug smile on her face.
He began to wonder if he would ever survive that day. But then again, he decided, he was a Summers and they put up with everything from sticky gum on their shoes to marrying evil clones of their wives and having their real wives die multiple times but never really staying six-feet under.
***
Dr. Hank McCoy, a.k.a the Beast, approached the large wooden door that led to Bobby Drake's room. He raised a blue, furry hand and knocked on the door.
"Just a minute!" the Iceman said cheerfully and Beast heard a rustling of papers. The door opened and Bobby poked his head out. "Oh! Beast! What a pleasant surprise! Do come in!" He opened the door wider and Hank entered . . . only to find piles of music sheets on the floor, on the bed, everywhere .
"Bobby, what do you think you're doing?"
"Oh this?"
"Yes. This."
"Well, I had some spare time after reading 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea so I decided to write a symphony. Would you care to join me? I'm halfway finished."
Beast's eyes widened but Iceman shook his head. "It's only going to be a half hour long. Nothing extraordinary."
"I . . . see. But . . . you read 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea in one sitting?"
"Well, no. Actually it was two. I had to get up to take a leak."
That was a little too much information for Hank, but he shrugged it off. "Bobby, the X-Men request your presence at the dinner table this evening. Would you care to join us?"
"Oh, no, I can't. I have to get a good night's sleep tonight if I'm to invent cold fusion tomorrow."
"Cold fusion?!"
"Yes."
"Bobby, I applaud your efforts at inventing cold fusion, but it is impossible." Hank sighed and decided to try to a new tactic at getting Bobby to eat dinner. "Bobby, did I fail to mention that Professor Xavier is making chilidogs?" He knew Bobby couldn't resist Chilidog Night.
Bobby thought for a moment and then conceded. "Alright. I'll come down for one chilidog, but then I really must get back to my symphony." He stepped out of his room and shut and locked the door.
Bobby was down the stairs faster than Hank. He stood on the banister and created an ice slide and slid down, leaving Hank to contemplate what he had just seen.
"I've never written a symphony. Or read 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea in one - excuse me, two- sittings. Nor have I ever tried to invent cold fusion." Hank sighed, suddenly feeling depressed. "I am indeed happy for Bobby and his newfound thirst for knowledge, but . . . " No buts, Hank decided, and walked down the stairs.
Bobby "de-iced" himself and sat down next to a haunting young girl draped in black. It took him a few moments to realize that it was Jubilee, almost in her full metamorphosis. She was wearing a '30's black hat with a black veil, a black tee-shirt, a ragged kilt, back fishnet stockings, and combat boots. He could see beneath her veil that she was wearing an inch-thick layer of eyeliner and black lipstick. She was also wearing fake, long, black nails.
"Jubilee?"
Jubilee raised her fist and index finger and clamped it shut and opened it as she spoke in a raspy voice. "Greetings from the dead, Robert Drake. Your time will come, as will mine." She stared at him blankly, her index finger bent. Then, quickly as if an afterthought, she began moving it again and said in a rushed tone, "Red rum."
" . . . Anyone wanna trade seats?"
Scott raised a yellow flipper but Jean clamped a hand firmly on his shoulder. He lowered his flipper in fear.
"Wolverine?"
"I ain't sittin' next ta the Cajun," Wolverine stated stubbornly and sniffed indignantly.
Bobby looked to his right and saw Gambit hugging his knees to his chest, eyes wide, and rocking front to back. "Gambit, you okay?"
"Mm-mm," Gambit whimpered in a high voice. Rogue patted his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic glance. He looked up at her sadly.
Now he had two reasons to leave. He looked to Storm for help. "Stormy?"
She had her head leaning on her hand as her right hand drummed her fingers against the table. "What?" she snapped, looking up. A lightning bolt cracked outside as she said this.
"Uh, nothing."
Just then, Beast appeared. "Beastie Boy! Wanna trade seats?"
"I'd rather not. I'm perfectly fine right here," he said, taking the seat between Scott and Ororo.
Bobby nodded sadly.
"Red rum."
The Professor appeared in a chef's hat and an apron that read, "Kiss The Telepathic Chef (he knows ya wanna)." "Telepathic" and "(he knows ya wanna)" seemed to be written in red Crayola marker. It hadn't gotten the effect he had desired. In fact, everyone avoided him outright. Professor Xavier set the chilidogs on the table.
"I don't eat meat anymore," Jubilee said matter-of-factly in her normal voice again. "There is far too much death and sadness in the world and I have no need to desire to be a part of it."
Bobby was confused. One moment she was preaching death, the next she wanted it gone.
"Then don't eat it," Storm said through clenched teeth.
Jubilee sniffed with her nose in the air and turned away.
"STOP UNDRESSING ME WITH YOUR EYES!"
The entire table turned to look at Logan who was frantically covering himself up with his hands. Gambit was looking around the table, panicking. Finally, he broke down bawling. "I didn't want to see you," he cried, covering his eyes to wipe away the tears. "My eyes. MY EYES!!!!" Gambit pulled a pencil out of his coat pocket, then put it back. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from another pocket, then put those, too, back. He reached his hand into several pockets, pulling out a screw driver, a lollipop, a calculator, a CD player, a grape-juice box, a coke can, another juice-box (this time empty and crushed), and then, from out of nowhere, came his bo staff. He returned all of them to their rightful pockets.
"He's like a friggin' kangaroo!" Bobby yelled.
"Red rum," Jubilee said.
"Oh, shut-up," Jean answered as Remy pulled out a bottle of eye-drops.
"Must clean eyes, must clean eyes!" he yelled, as he proceded to drip them in.
Jubilee suddenly realized what Remy was saying. She stared at him, then at Wolverine, trying to figure out what to do. Bobby could almost sense the wave of jealousy wash over Jubilee. "You . . . saw Wolvie naked?" she asked timidly.
"Aah! Wolvie! Naked! Same . . . sentence! Must clean eyes. Must clean eyes! MUST CLEAN EYES!!!!" More eye-drops.
Jubilee scowled then stood up, causing her dishes to clatter. Before she ran up to her room, she turned to Remy and said with a menacing glare, "Oh, yeah and - Red rum!"
Remy stopped putting eye-drops in for a moment and stared after her. Finally he said, "Was dat some sort of t'reat?"
"Read The Shining, Shug," Rogue said, patting him on the shoulder. "Read The Shining."
Bobby looked over at Beast who had his head leaning on one paw and was pushing a piece of chilidog around on the plate with his fork. Storm sighed in exasperation and ran her hands through her pearly white hair. Professor Xavier looked down at his apron and smiled. He winked at Jean.
"Ugh," Jean said in disgust. She pushed herself away from the table and stormed up the stairs.
Scott turned to the Professor and puckered up and closed his eyes. The Professor shook his head.
"Scott, no."
Scott lowered his head and pouted, letting his flippers fall on his lap.
Beast catapulted a piece of chilidog at the side of Cyclops head with his fork. Scott reached up and touched the place where the chilidog had hit.
"Hey!"
Bobby reached into his pocket and took a pill. He swallowed it and shut his eyes as it worked its magic. When he opened his eyes he excused himself from the table and retreated to his room.
Summary Bobby is diagnosed with a "disorder". Something in the mansion is disrupting the lives of the X-Men and no one is acting like themselves, which proves to be a serious ( I use this term lightly : ) ) problem. Rated PG. No cursing. No sex. No illegal drugs. No alcohol. It's your grandmother's sillyfic! J/K. *Watches as everyone leaves.* Ah, dang it.
Author's Note: No offense to any Goths in this chapter. Jubilee is more of a Goth sterotype. No offense is intended. I'm Goth. This is all meant as a joke. So please, don't give me a long lecture about what it is. And if anything is offensive to any Goth, remember, it's just a joke.
By Blitz
SAME DAY:
Inside her room, Jubilee was busy dying her cheerfully yellow trenchcoat a deep black. Normally she was bright and happy, but now she was dressed solely in black with black fishnet stockings on underneath her black shorts.The curtains were drawn and the doors were closed. She was feeling particularly lonely right then.
"Maybe I should, like, listen to music or something." She reached over and thumbed through her CDs. "Backstreet Boys. Britney Spears?! Oh, please !" she snorted, "I'm not a child anymore." The thirteen - and a half! - year old picked up a Dead Can Dance CD and put it in her CD player. Insane, gruff chanting, grunts, and clicks filled the room as Jubilee settled down on her bed.
As she was closing her eyes, the door opened and Cyclops ran in. He was, no doubt, being followed by a rather angry Jean Grey.
Jubilee's eyes shot open and she jumped up. "What are you doing here?!"
"I need to borrow your room for a second."
"No! And why do you have flippers on?!"
"That is not the point. This is an order - " his voice changed from stern to timid and whiney as he hopped a little and flapped his flippers a bit - "save me from Jea-ean!"
"No! You act like I don't even have a life! Get out of my room !"
"Jubilee, that's an order!" Scott was running out of options. "Listen to me!"
"No," Jubilee growled, her voice lowering vastly in pitch. "You listen, Scotty-Boy: this is my room and you invaded my PRIVACY!!!! March your little one-eyed butt outta my room before I go atomic on you!!!!"
Cyclops could almost swear he saw flames shooting out of her eyes and considered, briefly, doing the same, but decided against it knowing that once the demon had left the teeny-bopper, she would be back to normal. He still had two options: one, get his eyes clawed out by Jean; or two, get his legs broken by a thirteen - and a half! - year-old girl.
He decided to take his chances with Jean. Besides, if she did try to claw out his eyes he could just blast her across the room. And it was a lot less humiliating to be conquered by Jean Grey, the Pheonix, than by Jubilee and her fireworks. Scott slowly backed toward the door.
Jubilee narrowed her eyes to dangerous slits and folded her arms across her chest. "Wise choice, old man."
Before Scott could say anything to retaliate the "old man" comment, the door flew open, revealing an angry, menacing Pheonix, the light behind her illuminating her, her arms outstretched, floating several inches above the ground, and hair haloing her head.
"Good luck," Jubilee said softly to Scott Summers sarcastically. To Jean she said, "He's right here, Jeanie!" She sounded cheerful and bouncy again, but as Jean dragged him away, he saw Jubilee standing with her arms crossed across her chest, her head held high, and a smug smile on her face.
He began to wonder if he would ever survive that day. But then again, he decided, he was a Summers and they put up with everything from sticky gum on their shoes to marrying evil clones of their wives and having their real wives die multiple times but never really staying six-feet under.
***
Dr. Hank McCoy, a.k.a the Beast, approached the large wooden door that led to Bobby Drake's room. He raised a blue, furry hand and knocked on the door.
"Just a minute!" the Iceman said cheerfully and Beast heard a rustling of papers. The door opened and Bobby poked his head out. "Oh! Beast! What a pleasant surprise! Do come in!" He opened the door wider and Hank entered . . . only to find piles of music sheets on the floor, on the bed, everywhere .
"Bobby, what do you think you're doing?"
"Oh this?"
"Yes. This."
"Well, I had some spare time after reading 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea so I decided to write a symphony. Would you care to join me? I'm halfway finished."
Beast's eyes widened but Iceman shook his head. "It's only going to be a half hour long. Nothing extraordinary."
"I . . . see. But . . . you read 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea in one sitting?"
"Well, no. Actually it was two. I had to get up to take a leak."
That was a little too much information for Hank, but he shrugged it off. "Bobby, the X-Men request your presence at the dinner table this evening. Would you care to join us?"
"Oh, no, I can't. I have to get a good night's sleep tonight if I'm to invent cold fusion tomorrow."
"Cold fusion?!"
"Yes."
"Bobby, I applaud your efforts at inventing cold fusion, but it is impossible." Hank sighed and decided to try to a new tactic at getting Bobby to eat dinner. "Bobby, did I fail to mention that Professor Xavier is making chilidogs?" He knew Bobby couldn't resist Chilidog Night.
Bobby thought for a moment and then conceded. "Alright. I'll come down for one chilidog, but then I really must get back to my symphony." He stepped out of his room and shut and locked the door.
Bobby was down the stairs faster than Hank. He stood on the banister and created an ice slide and slid down, leaving Hank to contemplate what he had just seen.
"I've never written a symphony. Or read 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea in one - excuse me, two- sittings. Nor have I ever tried to invent cold fusion." Hank sighed, suddenly feeling depressed. "I am indeed happy for Bobby and his newfound thirst for knowledge, but . . . " No buts, Hank decided, and walked down the stairs.
Bobby "de-iced" himself and sat down next to a haunting young girl draped in black. It took him a few moments to realize that it was Jubilee, almost in her full metamorphosis. She was wearing a '30's black hat with a black veil, a black tee-shirt, a ragged kilt, back fishnet stockings, and combat boots. He could see beneath her veil that she was wearing an inch-thick layer of eyeliner and black lipstick. She was also wearing fake, long, black nails.
"Jubilee?"
Jubilee raised her fist and index finger and clamped it shut and opened it as she spoke in a raspy voice. "Greetings from the dead, Robert Drake. Your time will come, as will mine." She stared at him blankly, her index finger bent. Then, quickly as if an afterthought, she began moving it again and said in a rushed tone, "Red rum."
" . . . Anyone wanna trade seats?"
Scott raised a yellow flipper but Jean clamped a hand firmly on his shoulder. He lowered his flipper in fear.
"Wolverine?"
"I ain't sittin' next ta the Cajun," Wolverine stated stubbornly and sniffed indignantly.
Bobby looked to his right and saw Gambit hugging his knees to his chest, eyes wide, and rocking front to back. "Gambit, you okay?"
"Mm-mm," Gambit whimpered in a high voice. Rogue patted his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic glance. He looked up at her sadly.
Now he had two reasons to leave. He looked to Storm for help. "Stormy?"
She had her head leaning on her hand as her right hand drummed her fingers against the table. "What?" she snapped, looking up. A lightning bolt cracked outside as she said this.
"Uh, nothing."
Just then, Beast appeared. "Beastie Boy! Wanna trade seats?"
"I'd rather not. I'm perfectly fine right here," he said, taking the seat between Scott and Ororo.
Bobby nodded sadly.
"Red rum."
The Professor appeared in a chef's hat and an apron that read, "Kiss The Telepathic Chef (he knows ya wanna)." "Telepathic" and "(he knows ya wanna)" seemed to be written in red Crayola marker. It hadn't gotten the effect he had desired. In fact, everyone avoided him outright. Professor Xavier set the chilidogs on the table.
"I don't eat meat anymore," Jubilee said matter-of-factly in her normal voice again. "There is far too much death and sadness in the world and I have no need to desire to be a part of it."
Bobby was confused. One moment she was preaching death, the next she wanted it gone.
"Then don't eat it," Storm said through clenched teeth.
Jubilee sniffed with her nose in the air and turned away.
"STOP UNDRESSING ME WITH YOUR EYES!"
The entire table turned to look at Logan who was frantically covering himself up with his hands. Gambit was looking around the table, panicking. Finally, he broke down bawling. "I didn't want to see you," he cried, covering his eyes to wipe away the tears. "My eyes. MY EYES!!!!" Gambit pulled a pencil out of his coat pocket, then put it back. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from another pocket, then put those, too, back. He reached his hand into several pockets, pulling out a screw driver, a lollipop, a calculator, a CD player, a grape-juice box, a coke can, another juice-box (this time empty and crushed), and then, from out of nowhere, came his bo staff. He returned all of them to their rightful pockets.
"He's like a friggin' kangaroo!" Bobby yelled.
"Red rum," Jubilee said.
"Oh, shut-up," Jean answered as Remy pulled out a bottle of eye-drops.
"Must clean eyes, must clean eyes!" he yelled, as he proceded to drip them in.
Jubilee suddenly realized what Remy was saying. She stared at him, then at Wolverine, trying to figure out what to do. Bobby could almost sense the wave of jealousy wash over Jubilee. "You . . . saw Wolvie naked?" she asked timidly.
"Aah! Wolvie! Naked! Same . . . sentence! Must clean eyes. Must clean eyes! MUST CLEAN EYES!!!!" More eye-drops.
Jubilee scowled then stood up, causing her dishes to clatter. Before she ran up to her room, she turned to Remy and said with a menacing glare, "Oh, yeah and - Red rum!"
Remy stopped putting eye-drops in for a moment and stared after her. Finally he said, "Was dat some sort of t'reat?"
"Read The Shining, Shug," Rogue said, patting him on the shoulder. "Read The Shining."
Bobby looked over at Beast who had his head leaning on one paw and was pushing a piece of chilidog around on the plate with his fork. Storm sighed in exasperation and ran her hands through her pearly white hair. Professor Xavier looked down at his apron and smiled. He winked at Jean.
"Ugh," Jean said in disgust. She pushed herself away from the table and stormed up the stairs.
Scott turned to the Professor and puckered up and closed his eyes. The Professor shook his head.
"Scott, no."
Scott lowered his head and pouted, letting his flippers fall on his lap.
Beast catapulted a piece of chilidog at the side of Cyclops head with his fork. Scott reached up and touched the place where the chilidog had hit.
"Hey!"
Bobby reached into his pocket and took a pill. He swallowed it and shut his eyes as it worked its magic. When he opened his eyes he excused himself from the table and retreated to his room.