Shimura Danzo's coded request to see a therapist stirred ripples of shock and unrest throughout the entire Secret Keeper Community. That the very man who hadn't seen a therapist in decades and had in fact refused to go since the midst of the first world war and whose teammate Uchiha Kagame couldn't even persuade otherwise; who was indirectly responsible for the Second Hokage's decision to revoke the First's decree (that all Shinobi must regularly meet with a Secret Keeper) when approached about his subordinate's absences Because we are in a bloody war god damn it and I don't care what my sentimental brother says because we don't have time to talk about feelings, the very man who had started his own branch of ANBU comprised of abducted children whom he emotionally abused into becoming tools and who he forbade to see therapists in order to 'keep at least a few soldiers out of the grasp of those meddling Secret Keepers', that the man who's original therapist had committed suicide for failing his client so utterly, wished to see one now of all times, was enough to make any fool with an ounce of brains feel suspicious.

The fact that he used the Classified Secret Keeper's Code to state his demand was even more so. Sure, it was only a level 1 security clearance code used mainly for advertizing less-sensitive information such as a need for a new session location due to damage done by a client, but the fact that he new such a code existed at all was still concerning.

Thus, a meeting was held in person for the first time in years, identity cloaking jutsu in place, and a plan of action to be formed. Some were hesitant for Danzō's request to be fulfilled at all after he had so skillfully scorned them for so many years, seeded doubt of their trustworthiness in the shinobi system, and kept so many children from the help they so desperately needed. But denying him out of spite was not the way of the Secret Keepers, nor would it abate Danzō's suspicion of them in the least. And so it was decided, that Secret Keeper #117 codename Natsuki in concerns to client Shimura, would write letters to his/her other clients in case of his/her death and meet with councilman Shimura Danzō at the specified location equipped with suicide pill in case of capture.

So it was that SK#117 codename Natsuki planned to die by that name as they waited for Councilman Danzō to spell their certain death. Danzō entered the room, and were he/she not so nervous, Natsuki may have noticed the henge placed over who they assumed to be their last client. Natsuki was not chosen for their skill as a ninja, since no Secret Keeper could possibly hope to defeat Danzō, nor even for their skill as a therapist since the best of those had too many clients depending on them to throw their lives away. Not that Natsuki was a bad therapist or shinobi, it was just that he/she was the most expendable. That didn't make the threat of death any more bearable.

Danzō sat down and the session began. "What is your name, child?" He asked in a gravely voice, and Natsuki felt their teeth grind, because something was off but he/she couldn't figure out what.

"My name is Natsuki." He/She answered, "What is it you would like to talk about?"

Then, to Natsuki's utter surprise, Shimura Danzō sheepishly rubbed the back of his head… with the arm that was supposed to be incapacitated in a sling. "Oh, it's kind of embarrassing ya know?… I don't know if I can tell you." Danzō said.

Natsuki narrowed her/his eyes, all the while staring at Danzō's arm. "I'm sure it's nothing worse than some things I've heard, Danzō sama. Besides, I cannot help you unless you tell me."

The supposed Danzō noticed Natsuki's gaze and quickly dropped his arm from behind his head and stuffed it back into the sling. "Oh that? Ha ha, I uh, just keep it like that for appearances really. But you'll keep it a secret, right? Of course you will, you're a secret keeper." He cleared his throat. "Actually what I wanted to talk about is…" and here he looked around hastily for intruders, leaned forward and whispered, "poop." He leaned back in his chair nodding sagely. "I pooped my pants the other day when I was doing important stuff with old ma- I mean the Hokage and-"

Natsuki sighed heavily and pinched their brow, the adrenaline and endorphins from the fear of death crashing down and leaving them in a heavy slump. "Naruto." Natsuki said. "This isn't funny."

The blathering about various kinds of fecal matter stopped, along with a puff of smoke around the form of Shimura Danzō, replaced by Konoha's number one unpredictable hyperactive knuckle headed ninja, Uzumaki Naruto. "Oh come on! Everyone thinks poop is funny!" The blond boy exclaimed with a grin.

Natsuki had to take several very deep breaths and rub their face with their hands repeatedly in order to stop from snapping at the client. For now he/she bottled up all the anger until she/he could talk to their own Secret Keeper about this mess. "Why did you do this Naruto? Pulling pranks is not the only and far from the best way to get attention. And why Danzō?" Natsuki eventually got out.

Naruto waved his hand dismissively, "Yeah yeah, that's what my Secret Keeper tells me all the time too. But nothing else works! Oh, and Danzō? I chose him cause I didn't like the way he looked at me. It was, it was different from how everyone else looks at me, but I still don't like it. It made feel like a bunch of meat! Or a kunai! Or a thing! But I'm not a thing, I'm Uzumaki Naruto dattebayo!"

Natsuki could only shake their head. "You are observant, I'll give you that. But you need to think about how your actions affect others. Councilman Danzō is a very important person, and you made a lot of therapists nervous by using our secret code to demand a meeting under his name. We're giving you the opportunity to be the very first field therapist, and even taught you the secret code. We trusted you not to abuse that knowledge Naruto, and you betrayed us." Natsuki watched as the little boy before him slowly melted into his seat in shame.

"I- I didn't mean to…" Naruto mumbled, looking down.

Natsuki sighed. "I know you didn't Naruto. Just don't do it again, okay? And think about how your pranks affect other people. You still want to help people like your Secret Keeper helped you, right?"

"Of course!" Naruto yelled, perking up. "I promise I'll never do it again! I'll make people notice me by being nice, just like Hazuki-Keeper told me! I'll think more before I do stuff so I don't accidentally hurt people with my pranks, and I'll become the very best super-secret field-therapist shinobi Hokage ever and make everyone happy so that they love me!"

"That's the spirit" Natsuki said wearily "go forth and be awesome…"

"Will-do, Natsa-whatever-yernameis!" Naruto shouted and bolted out the door.

Natsuki collapsed, finally taking the suicide pill out of their mouth and holding it in front of their eyes. They sighed, and made their way to the bar.

A/N: I am now taking requests for characters you'd like to see in therapy. Leave a review or PM me.

I'm also experimenting in tenses, POVs and writing style, so leave a comment about what you think works or doesn't work. (For instance I'm not sure how I feel about the previous chapter being in Kakashi's point of view and if he is out of character at all. Tell me what you think.)

Until next time!