Chapter 3
The principles of discoordination
Thrust remained silent. His facial features hardened as he slowly scratched one side of his head.
"Come on…" Skywarp pressured.
No answer.
"Would you hurry up, Thrust? I don't have the rest of eternity."
"Leave me alone, will you? I'm thinking."
"As I said, I can't wait that long."
Thrust tried to focus as his processor worked harder than it did in an entire vorn.
"Come on, Conehead! Hurry up, frag it! Is it so difficult to guess what I'm thinking?"
"Silence! I'm doing my best! Alright, let's see… Is there any chance you are thinking of mmmhh…. femmes?"
Skywarp smirked. "Predictable, huh? But you're wrong. I was thinking of breaking your ugly face."
Thrust was shaken by a strong electric shock courtesy of an army of thin cables connected to his body. Skywarp, who also had the annoying cables attached to his structure, waited until the cry of pain of his wingmate reached its highest pitch before releasing the button of the device in his hand.
"Y-you fragger! W-was that really necessary?" Thrust stammered once he was able to speak again.
"But of course. How will you be able to coordinate with my processor otherwise? A small corrective will make you try harder next time. My turn now."
Thrust hit his cheeks and shook his head, totally recovering from the electric shock.
"I'm ready. Tell me what I'm thinking," he said.
Skywarp narrowed one of his optics. "Let me guess… Revenge?"
Thrust's finger stopped right before pushing the infamous button on his respective device.
"Curse you!" he complained in frustration.
Skywarp burst in laughter. "You are more predictable than me, Conehead! I can read you like a datapad."
"Shut up! This exercise is a waste of time! Why the slag would I want to know what you think, anyway?"
"Ask Soundwave."
"To the pit with Soundwave! I'm tired of receiving electric shocks and I'm tired of putting up with you! I'm out of here!" Thrust cried as he began to disconnect one of the cables attached to his chest.
"Will you disobey a direct order from Megatron, Thrust? I'll make sure to desecreate your crypt often, don't worry. If you ever get one, that is. Have you heard of a human activity called graffiti?"
Thrust hesitated. His hand released the cable he had been so close to snatch away.
"Good boy," Skywarp continued, satisfied that the cowardice of the Conehead worked every time. "Let's continue, shall we?"
"Keep your finger away from that button, Skywarp. I can assure you this time that you want to electrocute me again."
The dangerous thumb of the black Seeker danced over his objective.
"Perhaps you are right… or perhaps not!" he cheered as he pushed the button, releasing another electric shock over his wingmate.
"Yeeeaaarrrghhh!! Why did you do that??!! I predicted your thoughts, I'm sure I did!"
"True… but you didn't guess I was going to electrocute you anyway, no matter what you said."
"Aaaawww! Stop it!" Thrust complained again as he received another small discharge.
"Oops, my finger slipped."
"So did mine!"
This time it was Skywarp who received the electrical attack. Blinded by his desire for retaliation, Thrust punched the button without mercy, with no sign of him stopping.
"STOP IT!!! YOU'RE FRYING ME, YOU FRAGGER!!" Skywarp cried, his body twisting in pain.
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. My audio sensors must be failin… Aaaaaarrrgghhh!!"
Despite his agony, Skywarp managed to push the button and suddenly both Seekers were performing a bizarre dance of pain as grey smoke began to seep out from their bodies.
The lights of the huge training room flickered until they completey shut off. Skywarp and Thrust fell heavily on the floor, still shaken by the remains of the brutal electric shocks.
Almost an entire breem had passed. Skywarp was the first to recover consciousness.
"T-Thrust… are you functioning?" he asked.
"Thrust… Who is Thrust?"
"You are, you moron."
"Right, that's my denomination… Yes… I'm functioning… What about you?"
"I think I am… I didn't hurt you too much, did I?"
"Are you concerned about me?"
"Don't be ridiculous. It's just that Megatron said he wouldn't tolerate it if we seriously damaged each other…"
"He did? Oh yes… he did… I remember now… No, you didn't burn any important circuits. And you? Did I fry you?"
"Ha! The Autobots would win the war before you could seriously harm me, Conehead."
"Skywarp?"
"What?"
"I really hate you."
"Good to know. Our exercise worked, then."
"Why do you say so? We blew up the entire electrical system of this training room. Scrapper will have our afts for this."
"So what? Wasn't the main purpose of this practice to find some sort of communion between our thoughts?"
"That's what Mr. Emotional Soundwave said, sort of..."
"Then the exercise was a complete success, because I hate you too, Thrust."
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Thin and interweaved green lines reflected on the dark face that showed among the fluorescent tangle of the huge virtual grid as a deadly missile launcher aimed at whatever was ahead, covered by the darkness.
"Dirge," the addressed Seeker heard through his com link.
"What?" he roughly replied. He really disliked using silent communication with anyone other than Thrust and Ramjet.
"Would you stop aiming your missile launchers so recklessly? You're neglecting your left side," Thundercracker continued through the private channel he had been forced to open in order to communicate with his new wingmate. Rarely did he open it to anyone else other than Starscream and Skywarp.
"The target can appear any moment," Dirge replied.
"Which is why you have to be more careful. Didn't you practice this in the Military Academy?"
"Thousands of times."
"What was your average score?"
"Mmmhhh mmmhh…"
"That bad?"
"Concentration is not my forte… What was your average score, anyway?"
"The best of my class."
"Good you don't like to show off."
"You asked."
"Shut it. I'm sick of all this. We have been here more than two breems and I don't think we have advanced a single mecano meter of this fragging maze. Where are the slagging targets?"
"Don't expect them to come to you waiting to be destroyed."
"Bah… it would be faster. And why the slag are we talking through our com link, anyway? The targets are not sentient."
"But they have sound and motion sensors. Besides we are expected to follow the protocol."
"You are always sooooo honorable, Thundercracker. Are you sure you don't have an Autobot insignia under your paint job?"
"Say that again and I'll blow your head off."
Dirge turned around and pointed his missile launcher toward his wingmate, who was silently advancing behind him.
"Really? You and what army?" he said in a loud voice.
Thundercracker roughly grabbed Dirge's shoulder and threw him to the floor.
"Target!" he shouted as he fired a laser beam in front of him, inceremoniously stepping over the cone shaped head of his wingmate.
"W-what? Ouch… that hurt," Dirge complained. Behind him rested the mutilated structure of a combat drone that had lost half of its body by the accurate shot from Thundercracker's arm cannon.
"I told you to stay alert," Thundercracker grumbled, brusquely picking up his fallen comrade.
The virtual grid suddenly moved, modifying the surroundings and depriving the Seekers of the fake cover that had protected them until then.
Half a dozen drones raised their weapons and started firing against their surprised victims.
"This way, quick!" Dirge yelled as he jumped toward a hidden space behind one of the vortexes of the virtual grid.
Thundercracker followed and fell over him.
"Are you hurt?" Thundercracker asked, looking at the stain of lubricant on his fingers coming from a fissure on Dirge's shoulder.
"I don't think so. They are only combat drones with stunning cannons… Wait! What is this?! Those fragging things actually damaged me! Are they equipped with real weapons?"
"Seems like it."
"Cursed junk piles! Let's smash them to pieces!"
"Wait, you idiot!"
Dirge disregarded precaution and came out from their hiding spot, blindly shooting a storm of laser fire. Thundercracker shrugged but hurried over to cover his erratic comrade, wondering if it wouldn't be better to allow the drones to deactivate Dirge for a while.
Six combat drones were no match for two elite Seekers of the Decepticon army, but two dozen more surrounded the pair, forcing them to use their more advanced battle skills.
"Aaaarrgghh!! They hit me again!" Dirge cried.
"They are impacting me too! Shut up and keep firing!"
"So much for your battle protocol!"
"I told you to shut it, Dirge, or I will shoot you myself!"
For some reason the argument improved the accuracy of the Seeker's shots and soon no drone remained functional.
Thundercracker kneeled to check a midly serious injure he had received on his right leg.
"Huh… Thundercracker?"
"What? Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Is that a simulation?"
Thundercracker raised his head and his optics shined in amazement. A huge robot the size of Omega Supreme advanced toward them.
"A Guardian? Since when is this part of the programming of the battle simulations?" he asked.
"Slag the simulations. Just destroy it!"
The virtual scenario changed again. This time the entire training room seemed to collapse. The floor disappeared and only pieces of metal and dust remained floating in the air, mixed with laser beams and missiles coming from the monstrous Guardian.
"Aaaaaahhh!! Help me!!" Dirge cried as he fell in what to his optics was an abyss.
Thundercracker ignited his thrusters and left the treacherous floor. "Try to calm down, you coward! Don't forget this is only a simulation!"
Ignoring the gigantic robot towering him, Thundercracker abruptly turned around and shot a missile toward a spot at his right.
An explosion returned reality to its place. Chaos and the giant disappeared, leaving a naked and huge training room instead.
"You are such a killjoy, Thundercraphead," a voice said coming from one corner.
The raging optics of said Seeker fixated on Vortex, who was standing beside the entrance of the training room with a remote control in his hand. Swindle and Brawl were standing at his sides.
"They are still functioning, Vortex," Swindle said. "You owe me ten energon cubes."
"Pfffff… Not fair. Thundercraphead cheated. He destroyed the hologram generator."
"Too bad. It would have been priceless to have two Seekers less in the base," Brawl laughed.
"Did you slaggers sabotage our simulation practice?" Dirge shouted, already recovered from his panic attack. "And… and… you bet?!"
"You can bet we did," Swindle cackled.
"That was such a bad joke," Brawl said as he hit his companion's head.
"Dirge,"Thundercracker silently transmitted, opening again the private channel with his new wingmate.
"Now what?"
"You know… Megatron said we were not allowed to send each other to the Repair Bay."
"I already know that, frag it!"
"But he didn't say anything about sending external patients."
"Oh…"
Without warning, Thundercracker and Dirge pounced on the three Combaticons. Being outnumbered was no obstacle for both Seekers to satiate their hunger for crushing something.
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Starscream had no affection for Earth, but certainly the morning marine breeze was the best that had happened to him during the latest two solar cycles.
His radar wasn't showing Ramjet's proximity, so the Air Commander allowed himself the luxury of descending almost until the lower part of his fuselage touched the surface of the ocean. The feeling was almost liberating. A sky under another sky.
A familiar dot in his radar made him forget about the small pleasures of solitude. Starscream gained altitude again. He couldn't allow his subordinate to catch him surrendering to complacent attitudes.
"Where are you, Screamer? I don't see you," Ramjet's voice could be heard through Starscream's com link.
"Use your radar, you idiot. And stop calling me nicknames!"
"Whatever you say, Starsqueen… whatever… Ah, I see you there!"
"Hurry up then! You are as pathetic as you are slow. Leaving you behind was far too easy."
"Would you stop bragging? We are supposed to be practicing our coordination during flight, not testing our speed."
"Excuses, excuses. I don't know if you realize the insult of having you as a wingmate."
"You are not precisely a lady, Screamer."
Two laser beams grazed Ramjet's nosecone.
"WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU ABOUT THE NICKNAMES?!" the Air Commander shouted. "Stop wasting time and follow my lead! If you stray behind again I swear I will take you down!"
Starscream flew for half a breem with Ramjet following him in silence. Somehow the insane Conehead was managing to keep his superior officer's speed. Starscream decided to accelerate in order to challenge Ramjet's engines.
The result was identical to the one at the beginning of the aerial practice. In just a few astro seconds, Ramjet disappeared from his radar.
"Slag, Ramjet! You are supposed to stay with me! Does the word aceleration mean anything to you? If I'm going to depend on you during an aerial fight I'm doomed."
If Starscream was waiting for an answer he wasn't disappointed, although he would have certainly preferred words.
A white demon fell from the sky and Starscream was brutally hit.
"What in the pit you think you are doing, you microchip fragger?!!" the Air Commander cried as he did he best to remain flying. The sea had disappeared and there was only an immense extension of desert beneath. If there was something worse than crashing, it was doing it on a zone in which dust was the king.
"That was fun! Let's do it again!" Ramjet happily retorted as he tried to impact Starscream once again.
But the Air Commander was prepared. He avoided the collision and allowed his instincts take over his very small patience. A strong explosion shook the sky and Ramjet's cackles were silenced.
Almost immediately, a red panel inside Starscream's cockpit blinked and the rough and unwelcomed voice of Megatron was heard.
"Did you just shoot Ramjet, Starscream?"
"No."
"Don't you dare lie to me! I have optics everywhere, you should know that."
"If you already know, why do you waste your time asking? Besides, if your pathetic spy satellites work you should have noticed that Ramjet was practically asking for my cluster bombs. You can't blame me for that."
"I'm warning you, Starscream. If you seriously damage any of your wingmates…"
"You will turn me into melted metal, I've heard it before. You'd better quit your threats, Megatron. I see Ramjet's energy signature in my radar again. He's still flying."
"No thanks to you. Now listen: it's time for you and your wingmate to execute the real purpose of this practice."
If Starscream would have been in his robot mode, he would have frowned.
"The real purpose? You said you wanted me to test how much Ramjet could adapt to my flying style."
"That is secondary. Right now, as we speak, Soundwave is transmitting Ramjet his instructions. You will follow mine."
"What kind of instructions?"
"Shut off your engines."
"What?"
"Didn't you hear me? I just ordered you to shut off your engines, Starscream!"
"Are you insane? What for?"
"Let yourself fall."
"You really blew a gasket this morning, didn't you, leader? I'm fifteen thousand mecano meters from the ground. I wouldn't survive a fall this high."
"Not if your wingmate prevents it."
"B-but… are you expecting me to trust that stupid Ramjet will stop me from turning into a pile of junk?!"
"That's exactly what I'm expecting you to believe. It's never too late for you to start trusting in your wingmates."
"I don't trust anybody, even less that maniacal brute!"
"Your problem completely. Let's be realistic, shall we? You have two options: you obey my order, or your free fall will be forced, not voluntary. Blitzwing and Astrotrain have you in shooting range."
"Did you order them to follow me?!"
"A small precaution to ensure the correct performance of this practice. What will it be, Starscream? You are going down anyway. Will it be with your consent or with your afterburners smoking? I will respect your decision, you have my word on that," Megatron mocked.
Starscream didn't reply. Megatron wasn't lying, as the two powerful energy signals above him proved. Fighting the Triplechangers in such disadvantageous conditions presented painful consequences. Besides, he was sure Megatron wouldn't be indulgent if his Second in Command ruined whatever crazy experiment he was trying.
Starscream turned off his engines, as well as his com link. The last thing he wanted during his fall was to keep listening to the hateful voice of his leader.
Despite what he had said, it wasn't so hard to decide. Free fall wasn't disagreeable, but quite the opposite. He used to practice it often during his private flights, and he was very capable of avoiding crashing by himself, no matter if Ramjet assisted him or not.
Altitude was a natural motivation in his life, just as speed was. Starscream felt his spark embracing the challenge as the ground came closer and closer to him. He perceived Ramjet's white blurry form approaching.
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Megatron slowly caressed his chin as he carefully analyzed the image displayed on the screen before him, in which Starscream was falling like a dead weight.
5, 4, 3, 2…
Just as the Decepticon leader had predicted to himself, just a few mecano meters of impacting the ground, Starscream activated his engines and avoided the impact using an impossible gravity-defying manoeuver that only he among all Seekers could perform. Almost immediately he was hit by Ramjet, who arrived too late to perform his role of saviour and somehow tried to redeem himself by crashing into his Air Commander. Immediately, Starscream seeked retaliation.
Despite the practice failing, Megatron smirked. The coordination tests that all six Seekers had performed had given erratic, but promising results.
"You were close. Do it again. You are not allowed to return to base until you succeed," Megatron ordered through his com link, making Ramjet and Starscream stop their skirmish.
Immediate triumph was not expected, after all. Megatron was sure that sooner or later his rebellious and vain Seekers would turn into the most powerful combiner team ever created.
Soon, the Autobots would be doomed.
To be continued.
Thanks you guys for the amazing response to this story. I'm writing it as some sort of slapstick comedy, although I'm trying to respect the character's personalities and including believable situations that would happen if a situation like this ever happened.
I deeply thank eeyop1428 for beta reading this chapter. She was very supportive and helpful. I also wrote the part of Thundercracker and Dirge inspired in a review she left.
Please keep letting me know your opinions. Your reviews are very helpful. One of them inspired me for next chapter. I will let you know which one in my next update. Thanks in advance!