A/N: ZOMG!! FINALLY, an update! If anyone from before I vanished has been waiting for this update, I'm very sorry. ): Feel free to message me and yell at me, but please read the explanation of my absence in my profile first and try to forgive me, OK?
It was nearly two weeks before Kratos was able to return to the Asgard Ranch to visit Anna. Lord Yggdrasill was having a major temper tantrum over a failed world regeneration and all of Cruxis was busy trying to calm him down. He, as one of Mithos' right-hand men, had been tirelessly reassuring Mithos that it would only be a matter of time before a new Chosen was born and thus a new chance to balance the world again. Finally, after Mithos returned to his normal self, Kratos was able to leave Derris-Kharlan without being noticed.
"Anna?" he called, after entering the room where Kvar had placed her to wait for Kratos. "Anna?" The room was dimly lit, not bright like it had been on his two previous visits.
"Kratos?" said a weak voice, "Kratos, is that you?"
"Yes. What's wrong?" the level of concern he was showing for the girl bothered Kratos, but he couldn't help it. It was simply how he...felt. Amazing. For the first time in thousands of years, he was feeling an emotion that had nothing to do with anger or regret.
"Nothing, nothing--" she coughed "--I'm just a little ill today. My head hurts, so I figured out how to turn down the lights."
"That's pretty impressive. Magitechnology is difficult to understand."
"Well, when you've been here for as long as I have, you learn a few things," Anna laughed. "Really. I'm OK. This just happens sometimes. I'm sure its some weird side effect of my Crystal." She sighed. "I might as well just g--"
"No!" Kratos said suddenly. "Anna, you mustn't give up!"
Anna, now wide-eyed and surprised at Kratos' sudden outburst said, "I...uh...I was saying that I might as well just get used to it...Kratos, are you feeling OK today?"
Embarrassed, Kratos shook his head. "Of course I...I just...oh, never mind." He sighed. "The point is, I can make your head feel better, if you'd like."
Anna agreed and Kratos used a quick healing spell on her.
"Wow, Kratos! My throat feels better and everything. Magic is amazing!"
"Yes. Well, there's no need to get so excited about it. Its just a skill."
"But to be able to heal people at will! Or to summon lightning whenever you want!"
"I take it you have seen elemental lightning magic before, then?"
Anna's smile faded away very quickly. She paled and looked away.
"I'm sorry." said Kratos. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"No, Kratos, I...You didn't know. I even forgot about it, I was so excited. I-I...saw Kvar perform lightning magic...to kill two people at this ranch.
"I see. Well...perhaps I should go. I came to see you and to hear more of your story. But I do not wish to harm you by bringing up painful memories." He turned to leave.
"No, Kratos, wait. Its...OK. I think I can talk about it. Besides, I-I don't want you to go." She looked away and blushed. "Well I...What I mean is...it gets so quiet and boring when you aren't here. Um...you see, we aren't really allowed to talk. Especially me, since I'm kept in this isolation room most of the time now, and--"
"Anna," Kratos interrupted, "You are rambling."
"Ah...yes, I suppose I am. ...Well, where did I leave off last time?"
"You were talking about your...friend."
"Yes...poor little Lily. Well, I shall start there again."
"As you know, she...she nearly killed me. They transported me to the infirmary, where I was healed as well as could be expected by the Desian doctor. I was still very weak and very badly injured--her skills were not very advanced--and when I woke up days later, I can remember very clearly asking what they'd done with Lily's body.
The doctor, the same kind woman who had performed tests on me and everyone else when we had first arrived years before, told me that she didn't know. "Besides," she said very sadly, "I doubt if it would be a place that you'd want to learn about, anyway."
Before I had time to inquire further, the door was thrown open. Yumi, of all people, rushed in, unaccompanied. "Hikara! Hikara!" she cried, "What's happened to Anna? She disappeared nearly a week ago, Lily too--"
"Lily is dead," I said.
"Anna!" Yumi cried. "Oh I'm so glad you're alive---What did you say?"
I shifted, wincing in pain, "Lily is dead," I repeated. "She removed her exphere and turned into a...a monster. She attacked me and then was struck down."
"A-Are you sure she is dead? Maybe they knew of a way to help her?"
I shook my head. At that point, the tears came. "No. I-I'm positive. As she was dying, she returned to her normal form and she...she died in my lap."
"Anna, I am...I'm so sorry. I know she was your best friend."
"Don't be," I said, and my voice held a bitterness that it had never held before, "Lily knew what she was doing. She is better off dead than in this living hell. She is...safe now." I swallowed back a sob. "Do you know, Yumi?" I cried. "Do you know what these bastards did to her?!"
"N-No." she was shocked that I had spoke against the Desians while there was one of them in the room. But I didn't care anymore. The doctor too, was staring at me as though I had grown a second head.
"They took her away from us the night before she killed herself! They took her away and they raped her!"
The doctor dropped the potion she was carrying. Yumi was stunned into silence. The doctor recovered first. "They...they did what?"
"T-they r-raped her!" I sobbed into my hands. "And b-beat her up and...and...oh Yumi, it was s-so a-awful!" I cried. "Poor Lily is b-better off! They can't touch her anymore! They won't ever lay a dirty finger on her a-again! Oh...oh, heaven help me, I don't think I can t-take this much l-longer. So many innocents are dying all around us, and there's n-n-nothing that we can do! I tried being strong, but nothing came of it! Nothing but watching my best friend waste away before me and finally die right in front of me! MY BEST FRIEND! I-I feel like just...just giving up."
"No, Anna! Please, you must not talk like that!" Begged Yumi.
"And why not? I...what can I do? I couldn't even save Lily."
"You couldn't save Lily, Anna, because Lily did not want to be saved. You know that in your heart. She wanted to be freed from this place. You know that, don't you?"
I didn't reply. But I knew. Of course I knew; Lily had told me herself!
"Your mind is just clouded by grief right now, and I understand," Yumi continued. "But think, Anna, and you will come to realize that this talk of giving up is meaningless. It is the one thing that youmust not do, do you understand?"
"I...I...Lily made me promise her that I would get out of here alive. Her...final wish was that I would travel to Luin and toss the flowers in the lake for her." I said this in somewhat of a daze and I feared that I would start bawling again.
"Then you understand? You know that you mustn't let her down. You must fulfill Lily's last request, no matter what it takes."
"But Yumi, how can I do it? Without Lily, I feel so sad and...empty. Its as if...even though I have a reason to keep living, I lack the will. Do you know, Yumi, what I was hoping for back there? I was wishing that the wound Lily had inflicted upon me was fatal and that I would be able to die there with her."
"Oh, Anna..."
Then the doctor said something. "I think it is time we tell her, Yumi."
"H-Hikara? What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that she has suffered enough. Its time she knows the truth."
"B-but...alright, Hikara, if you think its for the best."
"Now, Kratos," said Anna suddenly. "What I am about to tell you must never leave this room. Do you understand?"
"May I ask why?"
"Enough people have died. And what I am about to say will possibly put more people in terrible danger. I am going to trust you. You must not tell anyone any of the things that I am going to say."
"Yes. Of course."
"Then I shall tell you everything that Hikara told me. There is an organization called the Renegades, which opposes the Desians. They are almost completely made up of half-elves. Even their leader is a half-elf, a man named Yuan--"
Kratos choked on the water he was drinking.
"Are you OK?" Anna asked worriedly.
"Y-Yes, yes, I'm fine. Continue, please."
"Anyway, them being mostly made up of half-elves makes it easy for them to infiltrate the Desians and gather information. Hikara was an agent of the Renegades, one of three who were placed at the Asgard Ranch upon the formation of the group. When she learned of Kvar's plan to start the Angelus Project, she made sure that Yuan knew about it. The Renegades made sure that it was their agents who went to the cities of Sylvarant testing the girls, so that none of them would match and they'd be safe. However, the trip to Luin was made in secret, because Kvar had become suspicious. He sent Desians who he positively knew were loyal, and they obviously found matches.
"When we were brought in, it was a surprise to everyone. Hikara was horrified to see that her own sister, Yumi, was included in the group. As soon as she was able, she pleaded with Yuan to organize a rescue attempt. He agreed, but as of the time she told me this information, all rescue attempts had failed.
"Hikara had decided, and Yuan had agreed, that since Yumi and I were the only two left the next attempt must be a success. And that was when she told me, that the attempt was scheduled in just a matter of days. 'So, don't fret, dear,' she said. 'It won't be much longer.'"
"But..." said Kratos, "You're still here. And Yumi isn't. I thought this...Yuan was making sure you both escaped?"
"Well...the problem was, Yuan wasn't actually involved in the attempt. It was too risky at the time...perhaps Kvar knew something...and the attempt was canceled. However, Hikara was scared for Yumi's life and she wasn't waiting for the OK from Yuan. And that was a terrible mistake. She had no help from the other Renegades. It was just her and us.
"We did try to escape, of course. And we almost made it out. But then, someone shot me with an arrow and instead of running and saving themselves, they ran back to get me. We were all captured.
Anna sighed sadly. "Hikara knew that her fate, at least, would be death. She was a traitor. They already had her locked up with us, awaiting punishment. She didn't know what would become of us though.
"'As far as Kvar is concerned,' she said, 'Yumi and yourself are valuable resources. I don't think he will kill you. My only regret is that I will be leaving Yumi. I'm so sorry that I was unable to save you, both of you. I've failed. But listen, and listen well,' she swallowed. 'This is my last request. Now Yumi, don't look at me that way; I know they'll be coming for me soon. You two must not give up on living. Someday, somehow, I have hope that you will get out. When you do, you must try to find and seek refuge with the Renegades. Not only will they protect you, but there is something you must tell their leader. You must tell Yuan...you must tell Yuan that I love him.'"
"Shelovedhim?" said Kratos incredulously. "Did he love her back?"
"Well how should I know? Its not as if I've had the chance to ask him." replied Anna, slightly annoyed.
"I-I'm sorry. That was a stupid question."
"Yes. Well anyway, they came for her shortly after we had that conversation.
"'Goodbye, Yumi,' she said tearfully, 'Remember that I love you. I'm sorry.'
"Then one of the Desians laughed at her. 'Why are you saying your goodbyes here, Hikara? She's coming with us. They're both coming with us.'
"Hikara paled. 'W-what do you mean?' she said. 'Surely he's not so stupid as to kill his last two test subjects?'
"'No,' said the Desian with a malicious grin. "Of course Lord Kvar isn't stupid! He just wants them to watch you die.'
"And so, we were led off to the main hall where everyone was gathered. Hikara, with her hands tied behind her back was shoved to her knees in the middle of the room. Kvar made this long speech about how 'This is what happens to traitorous fools.' and 'This is a lesson to any of you who may harbor thoughts about helping pathetic, inferior beings escape.'
"He went on and on. Finally, he began casting a spell. A lightning spell. I suppose he thought that electrocuting her would be the most painful fate. I had my eyes shut tight. I didn't want to see. Then, at the last second, I heard a cry of 'No, Big Sister!' from beside me. Yumi broke free of the guard who was holding her and threw herself on top of Hikara. Kvar had no time to stop his spell and the lightning hit both of them.
"'Yumi!' I cried, also breaking free of my guard and running to their bodies, 'Yumi!!' But Yumi was dead. Hikara, not getting as much of the electricity, had time to whisper 'Give 'em Hell, kid.' and then she died as well. I was left with no one, and I broke down right their and dissolved into tears.
"Then I was taken away, and I've been in isolation every since. I am the only girl, in all of the world, who is compatible and I am much too valuable to risk. But those first few hours, when I was all alone and crying, I had a lot of time to think. I now had two people's final requests to take care of, so there was no way I could die now if I could help it. However, the only way I'd die now is if my exphere killed me, because he wouldn't dare kill me. I was his only hope.
"So, I took Hikara's last words to heart, and I've been causing as much trouble as possible. Whenever they beat me too badly, I remind them just what I am and they are forced to let up just a little. They can beat me half to death, but even that isn't enough to stop me. And so, they have sent you."
"I see now," said Kratos, "Why you told me the first time that I saw you that you didn't think Kvar would kill you. I had thought that you just didn't care about your life, but that's not it. You just know that Kvar wouldn't be foolish enough to kill you. And...I'd have to agree."
Anna laughed. "You mean, you're not going to reprimand me for being a little rebel?"
"No. But I must warn you, I was called here as somewhat of a last resort. Kvar has put up with your stunts for too long. He is starting to get tired of you. I would advise you to calm it down, or he might forget his precious project and get rid of you."
Before their conversation could continue, Kvar himself entered the room.Well, speak of the devil... Anna thought.
As it turned out, Kvar was just playing messenger. Thankfully, he hadn't heard any of their conversation. He came to tell Kratos that he was needed back at the Holy City. Apparently, Yggdrasill had blown up a room in a fit of rage, destroying several important records.
"Listen Human," acted Kratos, "I'm not finished with you. And I expect you to act like you should while I'm gone." Without waiting for a reply, he left with Kvar.
After sorting things out, Kratos went to his quarters to reflect on the information he had gained that day. So Yuan was really against the Desians, and thus against Cruxis, since they were basically the same organization. And it had been like this for sometime now, at least seven years. How had he not known?
But how could he do this? Betraying them, because as far as he knew, he was still close with Mithos...Kratos had to know. He wouldn't say a word to Lord Yggdrasill, because it would surely mean Yuan's death. Instead, he would go to Yuan himself. It wouldn't be lying to Anna, not if he was speaking to the very person she had told him about. And Anna wouldn't be in any danger because Kratos wouldn't tell Yuan where he'd learned the information. So, making up his mind, Kratos set off to find Yuan.
It took him forever, but he finally found him in the Great Seed Chamber, looking sadly up at Martel, where she was suspended within the seed. He didn't spend as much time in here as he did when she first died. Back then, he would sometimes hide away in here for days and Kratos would hear him weeping. But, over these 4,000 years, Yuan's emotions had all but vanished. So, now, instead of breaking down and crying, he merely stared longingly at her, as if he was praying to her like the Goddess she was supposed to be. Maybe he was.
Kratos pitied him and he longed to comfort him, because once upon a time, he and Yuan had been best friends. But Yuan hated him now. For, inadvertently, it was Kratos' fault that Yuan's love was dead and forever trapped in the seed.
He sighed and walked into the room. Upon hearing his footsteps, Yuan spun around, quickly wiping his eyes.
"You!" he said. "What are you doing in here?"
"Looking for you. I need to talk to you."
"Well, I have no interest in talking to you," he said, walking past him.
"I know about the Renegades," Kratos said softly.
Yuan froze and turned slowly. "How?"
"That is none of your concern. But I know. How could you do this? How could you betray us?"
"Betrayyou? You?" he pointed to Martel. "She's the one who has been betrayed here! All she ever lived for was good! Good for every pathetic little creature who crawled on the surface of this insignificant planet. But what did she get for it? Suffering and death! But she isn't even allowed to rest, no, she's exalted as this precious goddess who went into hiding after the death of a hero. Twisted, disgusting lies! Its so wrong, Kratos! Its all so horribly wrong!"
"Yuan...please, calm down."
"Nine years ago, I formed the Renegades with the help of some friends. Do you know why? Because I found out something which I probably was never meant to know, just as you don't know it now. Do you know what that was?"
"No."
"All these years, we thought what we were doing was right. That we were sacrificing these children, these "Chosen" humans, all in the name of fixing the world which we destroyed. But we were wrong. He is a complete madman. The Chosen is merely a pawn in his schemes. He's trying to find a new body to house her soul."
"What are you talking about?"
"Her soul! Her soul, Kratos!" he cried, again pointing to Martel. "He wants to bring her back to life! And then, then do you know what the fool plans on doing? He wants to make the whole word into a land of 'lifeless beings'. Somehow, in his twisted little mind, this means the fulfillment of her last request."
"But...but that's wrong!"
"Of course its wrong! That's why I started the Renegades. He has to be stopped, before its too late."
"But you're just one man. What can you hope to do?"
"I hope to do as much as I possibly can. And its not just me. You'd be surprised at how many half-elves are Desians simply because they think that its their only option. Plenty of them are willing to leave and join me. Now I have a question for you. Now that you know, about me and about Yggdrasill, what do you plan to do? Will you turn a blind eye to the hell he's trying to create, or will you leave?"
"Leave? But I have nothing in that world..." Except Anna... "Unless...Yuan, do you remember a Renegade named Hikara?"
"Of course. She was one of the ones that helped me set up the Renegades...how do you know of her?"
"It doesn't matter. Hikara died, trying to help two girls escape from Kvar's human ranch. What if I told you that there was still a chance of finishing what she started?"
"What are you talking about? Everyone involved in that rescue perished, including the prisoners."
"No. One of them is still alive. She is the last living member of the Angelus Project. I have been visiting her on the request of Kvar, for almost a month now, because he can no longer handle her. If you can help me free her, I will leave Cruxis and never look back."
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A/N: O.O that was a long chapter, for me anyway. I focused a lot on the Kratos/Yuan convo. at the end, but I think it fits better at the end of this chapter than it would have at the beginning of the next chapter. Poor Yuan...he makes me sad...I need to write a Yuartel fic sometime... Anyway, this story will probably move a little slower now that I've put in this chapter, because I'd like to have some time to really work on Memories of an Angel. Its really hard for me to do two multi-chapter stories at the same time and still make them good. u.u; I fail.
Please review!