Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.
Note: Sorry for the delay!
Alec looked up, and his nose touched Magnus chin making him realise how close he really was. Magnus hummed in his sleep and Alec froze, afraid he woke him up, but the Warlock just kept sleeping peacefully.
He sighed softly and looked closer at the Warlock, bathed in the daylight entering from the windows. He had slept with his makeup and hair gel on, and everything had become messy. The glittery eyeshadow over his eyes and the dark eyeliner around them was smudged but still looked very good on him, and his raven hair was sticking out messily in a way that was unbelievably sexy. 'It really is not fair…' He thought. 'Even after being that drunk the previous night, he still looks flawless the next morning.'
Alec ached to reach out and touch his face, to see if he was really there. It still seemed so surreal, even though he knew it meant nothing. Magnus was just drunk and felt lonely so he cuddled up to the closest person at the time. 'It's not like I'm special…' He thought, dismissing Magnus' previous words that proved exactly the opposite.
"If I kiss you now, I won't remember it tomorrow. And I want to remember the first time we kiss."
He closed his eyes blushing, dispersing the thoughts, but unable to forget of the way Magnus had looked at him the night before. Even recalling it made his heart race. The Magnus sleeping beside him now had nothing of his last night's demeanor, and looking at him, it also occurred to Alec, he had never slept like that before.
All his life he had been sleeping and waking up alone. Now he saw that waking up beside another person was very pleasant. It was warm and comforting. Also, surprisingly intimate. You got to see them with all their defenses down, at their most vulnerable state. Looking at Magnus' beautiful face, so peaceful and unguarded, he wondered how could the Warlock trust him so much. Alec knew their history and even though the Nephilim always tried to hide and justify the unfairness of their actions he could see right through it. He knew his people had been cruel not only to Warlocks but all Downworlders, and was ashamed for them. Even though he had never been unfair or cruel to anyone he knew the Warlock wouldn't normally trust a Shadowhunter like that. Sure he had been drunk, but still… If he was like that every time he drank, Alec doubted he would have lived this long.
'So why did he trust me?' He asked himself. 'He said he can't get me out of his head… But that can't be true… And even so, that's no reason. I have been trained to kill since I learned to walk… High Warlock or not, I could easily murder him in his sleep.' He shivered, repulsed by the mere thought of hurting him, and sighed confused, not knowing what to think of it. 'And what about me? Why do I trust him? He could burn me alive with a snap of his fingers.' He couldn't answer that either. The whole situation was unbelievable. Here he was, lying on his bed inside the Institute (!) with a Downworlder. And not just any Downworlder. The High Warlock of Brooklyn who was also a man. If anyone saw, there would be Hell to pay for both of them. 'Anyone but Izzy…' He smiled thinking of his little sister. 'She would be ecstatic if she knew.' He blushed at the implication of his thoughts. 'Knew what? Nothing happened or will.' He sighed again and looked at him, trying to distract himself from these thoughts. 'Angel this man is driving me crazy… I am actually discussing with myself…'
However, he soon realized that looking at him wasn't the best way to get him off his mind, and he sighed again. 'How can someone be so beautiful?' He thought neither for the first or last time.
And then Magnus' words came back to his mind again. "I wanted to push you against the wall and kiss you and have my way with you until you are unable to think of anything but me."
He blushed more, unable to take his eyes off him. Magnus moved a little causing a lock of raven hair to fall in front of his face, and without thinking Alec reached out to move it away. As he touched him, the Warlock stirred, waking up.
So what did you think of Alec's inner monologue and turmoil? [Next update shortly.]