A/N: My first fanfiction kiss!Don't worry I don't plan to make an announcement for each 'first'. Yes, she is 16 ( a very mature 16 and he is 19 now)
Twilight is not mine and I don't have a Beta. Sorry for the mistakes.
It was hot. The room was spinning. Edward's weight pushed me to the bed, his head buried in my neck.
"I love how your smell, so soft," he groaned.
He cradled my neck with both hands as he trailed his tongue and lips along my ear, my jaw, collarbone and the bit of skin above my tank top. That was the edge of Edward Territory. He would not claim anymore. No matter how much I redrew the lines. He wouldn't go forward but he would go slow; slow wet kisses followed by his warm breath that would make me tremble.
"Edward. Please!" My plea was useless as usual. He lifted his head up and kissed the corner of my mouth. I grabbed his hair and tried to kiss him the way I wanted.
"Bella slow down." He pulled back slightly and put his palm on top of my heart. I stared at him willing him to see what my heart was telling him.
"Fine!" He seemed angry as he sat up, grabbed my hands and pulled me into his arms. His arms trapped me completely. Yes, this was what I wanted. For him to decide for me.
With one hand he held my body to his, with the other he grabbed my hair and kissed me, mouth open, hard. His tongue tasted the inside of my lips for the first time. And he groaned, his mouth moving against me furiously, a hand holding my jaw firmly to him. Never let me go.
I stood inside that kiss like I would stand in the rain under the stupid cherry blossom trees. Absorbing everything. My lips and my heart were on fire but finally on the same page. He finally wanted me the way I needed him to.
I woke up in a panic and looked around. Alice was snoring softly. It was still raining. And somewhere close, Edward was there.
I felt raw and exposed, like my skin was disappearing. Stupid dream.
I sat up and rubbed my face. I wasn't rested at all. What a terrible way to wake up! The dream had been a collage of my cherished memories and my unfulfilled wishes. A Frankenstein of living and dead things. Uugh!
I used the bathroom downstairs. My things would be in Alice's bathroom because Alice had cleaned up the guest room for Lauren. Alice's room was right next to Edward's and I did not want to go anywhere near there in case I run into Lauren sneaking out of Edward's room. With sex hair.
It should not matter. But it somehow did. A lot. And by now I knew it was pointless to understand why.
I went to make coffee. My mug was red, with a silver unicorn - a gift from Alice again. My unicorn phase was long and Alice ..well, Alice went a bit mad and got me every single unicorned thing she laid her eyes on. Corny. I snickered as I made coffee with milk and a little sprinkle of cinnamon.
I heard someone enter the kitchen. From the silence I knew it was him. Damned dream invader. I wasn't about to let him push me out of the kitchen.
I turned around and without looking up, sat down at the table. It was my ritual. Coffee and Esme's almond cookies. I reached for the jar.
Edward made a cup and sat down next to me. I knew he was looking at me. I didn't want to think about what he was thinking. Probably why I looked like I Oscar the grouch.
He sat down in the next chair. The space was suddenly small and warm. I could imagine his long legs stretched out and his fingers resting on his thighs. He always did that. Edward at rest.
"Bella," his voice was soft, rough, 'Lauren is gone.'
"Oh," I looked up but couldn't think of anything else to say.
I should say something like "Why the hell are you telling me?" But I didn't say it. He must have a good reason for opening with this.
"She came uninvited." He went on. It seemed like it was hard to say this. His hand was now clenched right next to mine. A few inches away. If I reached out my pinky I could touch him.
I sipped the coffee to keep myself occupied.
Comprehension dawned on me after a while. He did not want me let me think he brought a girl , here, now. Before we'd had a chance to clear the mess from two years ago.
" Thank you," I said. "For telling me, I mean."
He cleared his throat. "I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. About ….anything."
I sat up straight. Did he just warn me off?
" I get it," I said tightly. "You are home for holidays. You explained about Lauren to be kind." I thought that was very mature of me.
"No, you don't get it, ." his voice was flat. He then looked straight at me. "I am not going back. At least not for a long time."
What the Bloody Lady Lovelylocks! I sprayed coffee everywhere. Edward's hands, on the cookie jar and Esme's lovely table cloth. He can't stay. This was a painful sprint not a marathon. I couldn't do that kind of long time.
I tried to wipe the cookie jar, his hands.
He stopped my hand on him. "I got it Bella."
I probably looked like one of those anime characters. With an exclamation mark above my head and huge sweat beads stuck on my forehead and a dark cloud hanging above my fizzy hair.
Fuck my life. I touched him. Even with a tissue, I touched him. Stupid Bella.
"What about college?" I muttered. He just couldn't hang around Forks.
"Distance courses. Some time off.. Haven't figured it out yet."
"Oh," I felt doomed. I couldn't tolerate seeing him everyday.
He didn't say anything after that. I wondered if this unexpected, strange conversation was over. I stood up. I had to go figure out what I would do. Maybe move to Alaska.
"I am sorry you know," he sighed. "For how things ended. For what a bastard I was. Maybe ..we can talk about it later. Right now can we just… let's just…." He trailed off and looked at me gauging my reaction.
I nodded. He would get no fight from me on this. I want things to be smooth. If he can be this nice, I can keep a lid on my drama.
Alice walked in and raised an eyebrow. It was a cozy scene - me having coffee with Edward. I gave her a reassuring smile and told her I'd come by later. She nodded trying to hide her smile and look casual.
Silly Pixie! Who was she fooling? It was my seventeenth birthday tomorrow. Alice would want a party. From her calm facade I knew it must be a 12 a.m surprise party. Hated those things but I could be pleasantly surprised if it would make Alice happy.
I looked back one more time at Edward. He was smiling at Alice. And she was smiling back at him. I left the house with the dark cloud over my head considerably less in size.
Please review. Next chapter in a day or so.