It was almost amusing how Hope found nothing to talk about with Snow. He cast nervous glances at him, took deep breaths, and tried to think of something to say. Yet the older man was just sitting there, staring at the sky. Was he thinking about Serah? Did he miss her so much that he wasn't even able to focus on the person right in front of him?

Hope wanted to call Snow's name, but he seemed so lost in thought. This was the first time they had stayed up together to keep watch and absolutely nothing was happening. Hope thought at the very least they would have been laughing and joking around. Yet, Snow just stayed silent.

"Snow?" Hope said in a low voice.

Snow immediately turned to him. Perhaps he wasn't as lost in thought as Hope assumed he was.

"What's up? Something wrong?"

Hope quickly shook his head. "Oh, no! Nothing's wrong. I was actually going to ask you that."

Snow chuckled. "Me? Nah! Nothing's wrong with me."

"You seem a bit…distracted."

Snow looked around at the trees surrounding them before placing his eyes back on Hope. "It's nighttime," he said with a shrug. "It's what I never liked about the night. Nighttime is when you can't help but think about all the realities going on. You stay up and can't sleep and all you can think about are your worries and concerns. There's usually no one to talk to so you're just there…alone…wondering how to handle all these situations."

That was an unexpected answer. Hope agreed with him. In the daytime he would pretend he was strong. He could pretend everything would be all right. They would complete their focus and somehow not turn into C'ieth and if they were lucky not turn into crystals either. At night though, that wasn't the case. When night fell Hope wanted to sob and cry at the thought of being turned into anything at all. He was too young to have his life end so quickly. And there was also….

"I miss her, Snow."

Snow knew exactly who he was referring to. Of course he missed her. That was his mother. No mother should ever have to bury their child, but…no child of his age should have to bury their mother. Snow moved closer to Hope and wrapped his arm around him, bringing him as close to him as he could.

"I know you do, Hope. I wish you were never put in this situation. I'm sorry."

It took everything in Hope to not start crying. He missed her so much. He thought about the times when they would stay at home and play games. They would cook together and watch television together. Now, there was no one. His mom would never again wash her hair, or brush her teeth, or eat dinner with him, or take him on trips, or tell him she loved him and no one could do anything about it. He lost his best friend, the one person he could trust, and he would never get her back.

Snow listened as Hope did his best to not cry. He didn't mind if he cried. In fact, he welcomed it. He wanted Hope to know that he could trust him with anything and everything. Hope finally broke down and hid his face in Snow's coat. Snow actually smiled. It was comforting to be reminded that even though they were L'cie they were still only human.

His smile grew wider as a thought occurred to him. Hope sounded like Serah did when she cried. Both of them would try to hide it as best as they could so they would sniff a lot, hiccup a lot, take deep breaths. Then when they finally let it out they would find something to muffle the sound. Snow almost wanted to laugh. Hope sounded just like her!

He even felt like her. Hope was so small and skinny. Serah was too. Snow moved his arm from Hope's shoulder to his waist, just out of curiosity. He found that his waist was extremely similar to Serah's. Snow could practically cup the boy's waist in one hand. He was so tiny, just like Serah. If he were to lay on Hope no one would even know he was there.

Snow removed his glove and moved his hand to gently rub Hope's hair. The strands were silky and thin, just like Serah's. The boy even smelled like her. He never noticed it before, but Hope was more like Serah than he thought.

He couldn't help but lift Hope up a little and put him in his lap. It was exactly like he thought. Hope was only a little smaller than Serah. He rested in his lap the exact same way Serah did, with his head only a few inches below where Serah's would be. Snow turned Hope's face to his. Hope had stopped crying for the most part, probably because Snow had put him in his lap. Snow wiped away the stains that were left on his face and smiled at him.

Hope looked a little confused, shy, nervous, and cute; the same look Serah always, always had when Snow was about to kiss her. He began to wonder exactly how much was Hope similar to Serah?

"Don't cry," he whispered before gently laying his lips on Hope's. He kept them there for a moment before pulling away. Hope's eyes were so innocent, just like Serah. He moved Hope so the boy would straddle his waist. He touched Hope's face. His skin was so soft, almost porcelain. It was a little dirty simply due to them travelling so much, but it was just like her face. He kissed him again this time running his tongue against Hope's lips. Hope opened his mouth to let Snow in more.

He tasted just like her. Was that even possible? How could another person taste exactly like her? He didn't want to ever stop kissing him. He didn't want to let him go. He was just like Serah and he never even realized it! He felt like her, he was shaped like her, he had her same expressions, and he even tasted like her.

"Snow…." Hope whispered when they pulled away.

He spoke in that same meek voice that Serah did when they would pull away from a kiss. Yet, as similar as Hope was to Serah there were some differences. Hope began to kiss Snow on his neck and down his chest. Serah was always shy, she was never comfortable doing things like that. Hope was a little braver, but that only served in making Snow happier. He rubbed Hope's hair and let him continue to kiss him. He knew what Hope wanted to do. He could tell as the boy hesitated to go farther than his waist line. As much as Snow would have loved him to continue, he didn't want to make Hope do anything he wasn't ready for. After all, he was just a boy. This was probably all new to him. Snow brought his face back up. He rubbed his waist and stared tenderly at him.

This time Hope was the one to start the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Snow's neck and kissed him deeply. This was everything he wanted. This was it. Snow had to have had the same feelings that Hope had. It was possible. Maybe they could work it out. Maybe he would pick him over Serah. He actually stood a chance.

Since Hope was straddling Snow he could feel him get hard underneath him. That only served to get Hope even more excited. He wanted to taste Snow. He wanted Snow in his mouth, but he was so nervous. This was his first time doing anything sexual.

"Snow," he whispered. "Snow, I…I want to…."

"Hmm?" Snow gently nibbled on Hope's neck making him gasp. "You want to what?"

"I…I want to…I want to suck…."

Snow nodded his head and pulled Hope into a passionate kiss. As they kissed he undid his pants and pulled out his member. Hope was very aware of the action and stopped kissing Snow to stare. He was big…a lot bigger than Hope could have imagined.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," Snow said to him.

Hope shook his head. "I want to. Just…guide me?"

Snow nodded and watched as Hope bent down, first observing what was in front of him. He hesitated before sticking his tongue out and licking Snow's tip. He did it again and again, still not brave enough to use his whole mouth. Snow chuckled and rubbed Hope's hair affectionately.

"Don't try to take the whole thing in," Snow told him. "Just take in as much as you can. Oh and uh…make sure not to bite."

Hope nodded his head and licked him once more before finally putting his mouth over him. He was only able to take in a small portion so he used his hand to handle the remaining part. He was careful to keep his teeth in check and slowly started to suck on him, while moving his hand up and down in time with his mouth.

"Perfect," Snow whispered.

Perfect? That certainly gave Hope more confidence. He moved a little bit faster and from the sounds of Snow's moans he was doing a good job. He kept up a good pace, happy that he could pleasure Snow at all considering how inexperienced he was. He kept going, listening to Snow and getting even more confident in himself. It was only when one word escaped Snow's mouth that Hope stopped.

"Oh, Serah…."

Hope froze.

Serah?

Her?

That woman?

She was the one on his mind?

He wasn't thinking about Hope?

But Snow had been the one to initiate everything….

He kissed Hope first.

Lightning was right. He missed Serah and somehow Hope had become alluring to him. Why didn't he listen to Lightning?

Hope let go of Snow and sat up on his knees, staring at the ground. His heart filled with shame and sadness and embarrassment. How could he be so stupid?

"Listen, Hope, I'm so-"

"My name's not Serah. I'll never be Serah. She's gone, Snow, and you can't handle that."

"No, I don't think you're her. Please, Hope-"

"Is that why you kissed me? That was my first kiss. That was also my first time…doing that. Did you forget it was me and not her?"

"No, Hope! No! Listen, I'm so sorry! It just slipped out."

"You were thinking about her the whole time."

Hope didn't even wait for Snow to say another word. He stood and ran away, running to the only person he could talk to about this.

He lay down next to Lightning, secretly hoping that she was awake. Tears started to come out of his eyes and he did his best to stay quiet though it didn't work. He felt arms wrap around him. Lightning pushed his head into her neck and rubbed his hair gently.

"I told you not to pursue your desires, Hope."

She closed her eyes as she felt Hope bite into her neck to try to stop his sobs. She knew this happen. This was the worst-case scenario that she was hoping to avoid.

"He kissed me," Hope said between sobs. "He kissed me and I let him. And then I…I…."

"Did you two do more than kiss?"

Hope quickly nodded his head. He didn't want to tell her. He was embarrassed and ashamed. He didn't listen to her and now he was paying the price.

"I…I sucked…." He couldn't finish his sentence and just continued to cry.

Lightning knew exactly what he was referring to. She was angry to say the least. Snow let him do that? He was just a child and he actually let him do that? What the hell was he thinking?

"He called me Serah!"

"Oh, Hope," Lightning said and continued to rub his hair. She wanted to say she told him so. She wanted to say that Snow wasn't interested in him. She wanted to say that Snow would do anything to get Serah back and that his mind was only on her and no one else. But she didn't. She let Hope cry himself to sleep, though she didn't sleep at all. All she could think about was how she was going to have a talk with Snow once morning came.