Even when you have been awake of 38 hours straight, sleep can still be hard to come by when your brain doesn't want to sleep. How am I supposed to act when my ex fiancée, whom I haven't spoke to in 3 years, calls out of the blue begging me to come to New York without telling his family. My brain is so frustrated that I can't even enjoy the first class flight.
"Cookie for your thoughts?" my musing was interrupted by a cookie being dangled in my face. The gentleman sitting in the seat next to me was holding a cookie with an amused look on his face. I gave him a questioning look. "You looked like you were having troublesome thoughts and my daughter always shares her thoughts when I offer a cookie. I am a great listener and I am a doctor." He held out his hand, "Dr. Brian James." His face reminded me of the kindness Carlisle's face holds.
"Dr. Isabella Swan but please call me Bella. Please tell me you aren't a shrink." I shook his hand.
"Of course not," he answers with a chuckle, "I am chief of oncology at New York Mercy. I was in town for a conference. There's nothing like spending your vacation sitting and listening to a bunch of old bags rave about how their new drug is a "miracle"."
"Did you sit through the Pericipronphrin lecture?"
"The one with Dr. Portis? That one is the only I would even consider using in my clinic. The work done with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma is amazing."
"That is my study. Dr. Portis is my attending that is supervising."
"No way you don't look any older than an intern."
"I am a third year resident. I went to the chief of medicine at Seattle Grace with this study and he said I needed to find an attending to back me and Dr. Portis backed me."
"Wow I wish I had a fourth year with your ambition. I've met your Chief of medicine, he is a hard ass. I should know I was Carlisle's roommate during undergrad."
"Actually I've know the Cullen's since my dad died when I was in high school. I was engaged to his youngest son. That's what I was thinking about."
"Where you jaded by a Cullen playboy?" This guy was starting to get on my nerves.
"No actually I broke off the engagement so he could better his career and move to New York. And for your information the Cullen's took me in after my father was killed in the line of duty when I was 17." I shoved my ear buds in and closed my eyes. My mind wandered back to my history with Edward.
Everyone in the town of Forks knew of the Cullen's, the handsome Dr. Carlisle, and the Mrs. Esme, their three sons, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward, and their two adopted daughters Alice and Rosalie. Well I met them when I was 16. They had just moved from Alaska because Carlisle took a job at the hospital in Seattle but Esme didn't want to live in the city. My father was the police chief of the little town and my mother left us when I was about 6 months old. She signed over all legal rights to me. I became best friends with Alice and Rosalie. I spent more time at the Cullen's then I did at my own home because my father was always at the office.
When I was 17, my father died after being hit by a motorist while directing traffic at a car accident, the Cullen's took me in. I didn't speak to anyone for the first 3 weeks I was living in their home; I didn't even leave my room. One night, I heard the soft melody of piano notes drift into my room. I left the room for the first time in weeks to discover where the notes were coming from. As I crept into the library, I saw a strong back bent over the keys. As I walked closer and sat in one of the chairs, the moonlight caught his face and I recognized it as the youngest son, Edward. Edward was the hottest of the Cullen men, with his unruly bronze hair, emerald green eyes, high cheekbones and a chiseled jaw. Every guy in the school wanted to be him and every girl wanted to be with him.
He stopped playing and the room fell into an eerie silence, all that could be heard was his steady breathing and my unsteady breaths. Without saying a word he walked over to the couch and sat down across from me. He spread his arms and I dashed into his open arms. He held me for hours until both of us fell asleep.
The next morning, we were woken the bright flash of a camera and the soft murmurings of his family. Esme had taken a picture of me curled against his chest, and him with his arm wrapped tight around my waist. Every night I would sneak into his room and curl against his chest, and in the morning, we would be found in the same position.
We actually started dating in college and he proposed at our undergrad graduation. We went to medical school and decided to get married after our internships were completed. Our excitement couldn't be contained when we opened our residency placement letters. We waited all day to open them just the two of us.
"Edward open yours first. I'm too nervous to open mine." I was shoving his letter at him.
"Now Bell we agreed that we would open them together. Come on." He grabbed his letter opener off the desk and ripped both open. He handed me mine and stipulated, "Alright on the count of 3 we will state the name of our hospital. One… Two… Three…"
"Seattle Grace."
"New York Mercy."
"Edward I thought we were both going for Seattle."
"Bell I applied there knowing I would never get that position. I never thought it was a possibility that I would get that. New York Mercy has the best infectious diseases unit this side of the CDC. I will stay in Seattle I'm not going to go to New York."
That night, after Edward went to sleep, I went on and researched NYM. He was right; the IDU was the second best to only the CDC. I knew he wouldn't progress in his career if he stayed in Seattle. So I made the decision that I have regretted for the past 4 years.
I had been distancing myself from him the entire day after we got placed. I knew that if I didn't convince myself, then he would see right through me. He always told me I was a horrible liar.
"Bell what's wrong? You haven't been acting yourself all day. Are you feeling alright?" He sounded genuinely concerned about my well being. He was making all of what I had to do next harder.
"I can't do this anymore Edward. I can't take the lies from you anymore. Were you ever going to tell me about New York? If you weren't telling me about that, what else aren't you telling me? I can't be with you anymore if you aren't telling me the truth."
"Bell what are you saying?" His voice was slightly cracking.
"It's over. Go to New York and forget about me." I slipped the ring off my hand and tucked it in his shirt pocket. "You should go. I want you gone by the time I get back." I grabbed my purse and walked out the door without looking back.
That night I drove around till I found a playground. I sat on the swings till the early hours of morning. I headed back to the apartment to just drive by and see if he was there. His car was gone and our light was off. I walked up to the apartment. Most of his stuff was already gone.
I glance down to the ring on my right hand. And think back to the night I got it back.
I was sitting at the desk of the oncology ward 3 weeks after Edward left. I had been awake for 45 hours and was trying to master sleeping sitting up.
"Hey Swan you have a package." One of the nurses snapped me out of my trance and handed me a small padded envelope. I grabbed the letter opener and slit the package.
"What is it?" I emptied the contents onto the desk. A note and a jewelry case sat there. A lump swelled in my throat. "Is that what I think it is?" I read the note first. It was simply stated in Edward's hand…I still Love You. Tears leaked down my cheeks as I cracked open the ring box. There sat, nestled in velvet, my 1 karat diamond in a platinum setting with 2 accent emeralds.
"My Ring." My voice cracked.
"Ladies and Gentlemen… Please secure your belongings we are now descending into LaGuardia airport." The pilot jolted me out of my reminiscing. I began to mentally prepare myself to see the man I was still hopelessly in love with.
Thankful I didn't check luggage, I made my way towards the families that were waiting. I scanned the crowed for a bronze head. My brow furrowed when I didn't see him. Instead I saw a man in his early 40's with a sign that read 'Bella Swan'.
After exchanging pleasantries, I asked him where Edward was. All I got was a vague answer of we will see him at the penthouse.
He pulled in front of the building and gave me instructions on how to get into the building.
I made my way into his apartment.
"Edward?" I heard no response, but I did hear a noise coming from the master bathroom. I pushed my way into the bedroom and the noise grew louder. It was a noise I was all too familiar with in my line of work.
Inside the bathroom was Edward hunched over a toilet. He was pasty white and his cheekbones were sunken. He leaned his head on the edge of the toilet seat.
"I'm sorry Bells."