One day, Waluigi was excavating ponytails from Wario's shoe when a maraca and a starfish fell out of the sky and pelted his house with fountain pens.

"THIS IS A DAALICATE PRAACESS!" Waluigi shouted, throwing his saucepan against his face. "DAARN KIDS!" Waluigi had faced this problem zero times before, and it was beginning to frustrate him. He decided he'd have to take matters into his own gangly fingers and palms. But how?

He could cover his lawn with barbecue sauce… but then his eyebrows might start composing music.

A quaint old man walked by- "AAI NEED IDEAAAS!" Waluigi shouted, interrupting the narrator.

"Why don't you try to make a difference in some kids' lives and teach them proper respect?" the old man suggested.

"NAAAAAAWWW!" Waluigi said, and kicked the old man away and onto his front lawn, where he remained, never to be seen again.

Waluigi galloped off to the bazaar with his trusty sock puppet, Francine, to go apply for a teaching job.

Once there, he discovered he needed to go on a scavenger hunt in order to become a teacher.

"You need to go on a scavenger hunt in order to become a teacher," said an unauthorized coffin.

Waluigi began to tiptoe through the tulips in anger. "AAI'LL DO IT!" he said begrudgingly.

The coffin handed Waluigi a piece of koala and Waluigi began to read it.

SHOPPING LIST

Eggs

Gummy worms

Pizza sauce

Curdled milk

Ice cream money

Yesterday's news

1/4 cup of salt

Raisins

Tickets to tonight's ball game

"WAA!" Waluigi agreed, entering his local supermarket.

He doggypaddled through the aisles, kidnapping things on his list, but the clerk told him they didn't have any eggs.

"Whaaaat?!" Waluigi whispered, barbecuing the items he'd collected in a frenzy of fur and glue. The clerk pointed him in the direction of his local un-supermarket.

The un-supermarket was packed with olive-flavored play-pens that Waluigi had to pole-vault over.

After an afternoon of building motorboat windshields, he resumed his search for eggs.

Just as he was losing hope and his lunch, he saw them, sitting there on a used carrot. It was the matadors he'd been searching for all his yesteryear! …Oh, and the eggs too.

"WAAAAAA!" Waluigi cheered happily, tussling with a nearby cockroach.

Having been found, the eggs changed into their matching bobsled team outfits and joined Waluigi.

With a wave and a hungry look at a pair of bunny slippers, Waluigi left the un-supermarket by phone.

"You win! You brought back the bobsled team!" the coffin congratulated, releasing a dust storm out of its cage. "You've been assigned to room 12 at the School of Air Turbulence! We expect to see you there within the next 5 seconds."

Waluigi decided he should make a good impression, so he ran on the treadmill using his tongue to get in shape, then put on his sundae best and ran off to the school.

The building was enormous with 12 doors inside. How could he possibly find the right room? Waluigi blindfolded himself, spun around, and sent Wario in to check the rooms for him.

"Wah!" Wario exclaimed after coming back with a tricycle in his mouth. He pointed to the door with a big 12 written on it, then left.

"Waa!" Waluigi thanked, and took off the blindfold with his toes.

Waluigi entered the classroom and was greeted by a fair amount of warthogs riding on toy trains.

"WAA!" Waluigi scolded the children for leaving out such a mess.

The kids quickly began to parry, as they defenestrated the mess with their friend, the water-logged ashtray.

Waluigi nodded approvingly, now that their desks had been removed from the room. "Waa waa waa, wawawawa waa." He started his lecture.

The children danced, threw things at each other, and played on their phones, at full attention.

The ugly purple teacher told them about math and science, before Waluigi threw him out the window for interrupting.

Waluigi's lecture was about being handsome and suave in every situation. He presented exhibit A: a dish of chameleon fondue. "Waa," he informed them while using a petunia as a pogo stick.

Waluigi was promptly fired for crimes against grilled cheese.

Wario had a question, so he raised his hand, asking, "How do you expect us to learn in this condition? Many schools like this one don't have proper fundings!"

Waluigi responded by crouching in the corner, clutching a salad fork possessively.

Wario nodded, his question thoroughly answered.

"And naaow, exhibit twenty-waan." Waluigi pointed to an object hidden under a cloth. He removed the cloth with a grand gesture, revealing a flashback of days long past on a platter. He showed the students the cloth.

Exhibit porcupine was next. Waluigi showed them a paleontologist giraffe in a magical-girl outfit and then immediately kicked it out of the classroom. Wario landed with a thud in front of his house, being impaled on a puddle of spilled milk. Loud clapping and cheering surrounded Waluigi, as he stood and took a bow, his lesson over. He found the bow to be stylish and put it on his nose to impress the ladies.

Waluigi was then fired for his allergy to woolly mammoths. Satisfied with the impact he'd made on the education system, he exited the classroom full of still-cheering marmosets.

"9" nined Waluigi. The mayor of the school showed up and was so impressed with Waluigi's lack of punctuation and incomprehensible dialogue tags that he promoted Waluigi to teacher on the spot. But Waluigi didn't want to be a teacher, he was already a proud janitor! "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAA!"