AN: People are following and commenting on this thing and I just can't... You're all so incredibly kind. Thank you. I know it's a terribly slow pace but I just can't make myself write smut right off the bat; apparently I need several chapters of justification and build-up before that particular kind of inspiration kicks in. On the bright side, more frustrated-but-in-the-good-way Kristoff, yay! Also, please tell me what I can improve if you have the time. I know that I can definitely get better so any feedback is appreciated. Even something small like "this paragraph is clunky" or "I didn't understand what you meant here" or something. Don't be afraid to suggest changes. :)
Kristoff's first day at the castle is a very nervous one. It starts off in an incredibly unpleasant manner since the first person to come into his room is Olaf, and the only way Olaf knows how to wake someone up is to either poke them (his stick-hands are fairly sharp) or hug them, and he's made of snow. Not to mention his personal flurry that's the equivalent of a charming winter breeze. With that calmly explained ("Just, you know… whisper or something next time.") Kristoff sneaks down to the stables to check on Sven. They've always been together and he'll never forgive himself if his best friend has been lonely with only horses for company at night. His fears are unfounded; Sven is sleeping tightly and doesn't seem the least bit uncomfortable, even rolling over onto his back in his sleep and waving all four legs ridiculously in the air as he does so. In fact, the reindeer looks far more at home here than he ever has in his life.
Muttering about betrayal of the highest order Kristoff stomps back into the castle. He doesn't really have a plan because Anna had said something about showing him around but she didn't specify a time or a place. A passing servant seems to take pity on him and asks if he'd like breakfast; years of habitually lacking large portions of food means he follows with little fuss, eventually finding himself in the kitchens. They're busy and loud and warm, people running this way and that. A middle-aged woman, who introduces herself as Gerda, leads him to a table and tells him that she'll try and find a bit of food; most of the staff ate an hour ago but she knows this place like the back of her hand. She returns with warm bread (baked today) and well-kept cheese and milk that's still cold and Kristoff barely manages a thank you before breathing in everything. He realizes that maybe better manners are required, but then again Gerda is also seated at the table, scribbling in a notebook, and she hasn't thrown him out yet. After a period of silence he gathers his courage.
"Do you know where An- Princess Anna is?"
She looks up. The pen stills. Kristoff gets a long moment during which to regret his words and prepare for impending doom.
"Why do you want to know?" Gerda seems genuinely interested in the answer and he reasons that it's probably for the best to be honest.
"I don't know what I'm doing here. She said she'd show me around today but… I don't know where she is and this place- castle, this castle is just so big I don't know where to start looking." It's not the whole truth, but it's the only part of it he's willing to admit to yet. To his relief she seems to accept his shoddy explanation.
"I can go to her and tell her that you're waiting, if you want."
"Really? I mean, you know where she is?"
"I don't know," she admits with a smile, "but as it is still early morning I can make an educated guess."
~.~.~.~.~
Kristoff feels like the only thing he's done today is sit down. This time it's the library; Gerda led him here and told him that it might take a while before the princess was in any way presentable, so he might as well make himself comfortable. She gestured around her, asked if he needed anything more and then left.
He doesn't know what to do with himself. Books? Reading? Kristoff can read, it's kind of necessary to keep track of how much he's made every month and what level the prices are at currently and where this and that market was located this year. But reading just for the sake of it? He's never owned a book. There is nothing else to do so he explores; every wall is covered with shelves and every shelf is filled. Around him is history and fiction and geography and etiquette and who knows what else and on a whim he selects a historical something-or-other, not due to any specific interest but because he needs something to do.
He sinks down into a nearby armchair and opens the tome, landing somewhere in the middle. It's not long before he's fascinated; true, whoever wrote it must have thought very highly of themselves to sound so utterly pompous, but it's a historical retelling of the last few hundred years in Arendelle and a lot has happened in that time. There have been wars, peace-times just as troubling as wars, exemplary monarchs and just downright horrible ones, and it's not as bad as he thought it would be to read about it. Downright interesting really, to see the law of cause and effect summed up in ink on paper.
"There you are!"
Kristoff just about jumps out of the armchair. She's probably run all the way here, is breathing deeply and sporting a vivid blush. Maybe it's his imagination but the look Anna gives him seems forebodingly mischievous. He notes other things, like her dress and how it's an exact shade of soft green that makes her hair seem to burn in contrast, or how said hair has been very hastily braided leaving a few strands free here and there.
She skips over to him, her attention on his hands. "Whatcha readin'?" He hastily moves to put it back on the shelf, clears his throat.
"Just some history thing. Needed to pass the time while I waited for you." Anna adopts a mockingly shocked face.
"Well excuse me for not wanting to get up before sunrise. It can't be healthy, honestly."
"Or maybe you're just a tad bit lazy, feistypants." He smirks and crosses his arms, resists the temptation to pull her close and muss her hair. This resistance is severely tested when she chooses to punctuate her answer by narrowing the distance between them, hands on her hips in an exaggerated pose of how dare you sir.
"Well maybe you can just…" There's probably a half-hearted retaliation at the end of that sentence but then she glances at a clock on the wall and her expression shifts to light panic. "Ooooooh, no."
"What is it?"
"Uh, well, I might have to be somewhere since ten minutes ago but that means leaving you alone and I can't do that! Not when I promised to keep you company and besides I don't want to so I can't just- hey wait a minute." Her entire posture goes from worried-oh-so-worried to I Have A Brilliant Plan within the space of a millisecond and Kristoff isn't entirely sure it's a good thing. She looks up at him and smiles.
"I've got an idea."
~.~.~.~.~
Anna introduces Kristoff to her big sister in the same enthusiastic and impulsive way she does everything. They're in the queen's study now; Elsa had previously been starting to catch up on paperwork when Anna barges in, Kristoff in tow, explaining that any second now she's going to be kidnapped to try on a dress and she doesn't want Kristoff to be alone on his first morning at the castle and while Kristoff tries to protest (she didn't inform him about this plan in any way) there's a knock on the door and a messenger says that Princess Anna is needed by the tailor and she runs off, leaving Elsa and Kristoff alone.
Silence engulfs them. Elsa regards him and appears to be at a loss for words; it dawns on him that she might not know how to just talk to people. He's not as intimidated by her as he expected himself to be, but he's seen her break down and cry when her little sister froze so he knows she has a heart underneath all her self-imposed distancing. She seemingly out of habit wraps her arms around herself and sympathy causes him to speak up.
"Are you alright?"
Elsa looks up, her lips forming a nervous little smile.
"Yes… yes I am fine, I just…" She breathes, collects herself, "I have a lot of readjusting to do. That is all." Her posture becomes more relaxed and her expression genuine.
"Anna and I talked last night," she begins, and he thinks oh boy here it comes, "and though we spoke of many things I think she made it a point of mentioning you whenever she could."
Kristoff sits down and hides his face in his hands. "What did she say?" Oh god she's going to have exaggerated everything and now Elsa's going to expect him to be far better than he actually is and she'll never approve of- wait, what? He hears giggling and moves his fingers just enough to be able to stare incredulously at Arendelle's queen, actually laughing behind one hand.
"Nothing too outlandish, I assure you. I may not have spoken much with my sister before now but I know she is eager and excitable, and I judge her stories thusly." She folds her hands in front of her, picture-perfect regal, "Regardless of the details, I know that it is because of you my sister lives, and for that I don't believe I can ever repay you." Her gaze is steady. It strikes Kristoff how very similar they are; there are even faint freckles across Elsa's face. It's a little easier to speak.
"I wouldn't say it was that straight-forward. She did everything more or less herself, I just… travelled with her."
"You took her to the only people who knew how to save her, then brought her here in record time, and after that returned to see to her safety despite the fact that for all you knew she was completely fine. Regardless of your personal opinion on the matter I believe that what you have done is something I can never fully return." Arendelle's ruler is completely serious, regarding him with practiced posture from behind her desk, and Kristoff is sure his face is about to set on fire from not only the praise but the implications of what she's saying. Elsa takes a deep breath before continuing, "Anna told me much but as I said, I realize that there are things she may have forgotten or glossed over. I would… appreciate if you could give me a retelling."
Kristoff keeps staring. His mouth is dry. "Why?" She tilts her head; he feels like he's being scrutinized and he knows that what he is isn't impressive.
"Because I am curious to know who you are. Whether I like it or not Anna seems to be attached to you and she's done a fine job of peaking my interest. If you wouldn't mind telling me what happened I would be… grateful."
They gaze at each other for a long moment. Kristoff sighs. He allows himself a moment to think and then begins, starting with that awful trading post where a delusional princess convinced him to venture into the night.
~.~.~.~.~
Despite Anna's reassuring claims that it's easy to find your way around after a while, I promise, the castle is absolutely huge. Many corridors look the same and there are no indications of what a room is for on the outside. Kristoff is being dragged through the corridors by an overexcited princess, who finally has someone new to show what has previously been her entire world. He finds himself memorizing the layout rather than what specific areas are for; it's easier to keep track of where things are in relation to each other than that his room is on the second floor or that the library is in the west wing. Anna shows him the ballroom, spinning around and taking a few half-steps of some formal dance. Then there's the painting gallery, where she gleefully bounces several meters into the air from the couches and he instinctively runs forward to catch her but she lands surprisingly gracefully, continuing like it was normal; his heart is still in his throat as she describes and explains every single painting to him. This one's a knight on a valiant steed. This one is a birthday celebration. This one's a princess locked away from everyone around her.
Anna babbles on and he doesn't understand half of it but tries to listen all the same, fighting the impulse to hug her whenever she turns back and smiles. He's had to do so quite a lot for the past few hours; between a lunch where she kept licking her lips in an entirely too enticing way and all the movement she's doing which means he can see her body from every angle it's difficult to keep his hands to himself. In Kristoff's world touch is a normal thing; he'll always put a hand on Sven to make sure that his friend is okay, just as Sven will press his muzzle to Kristoff's side in comfort. The trolls have no concept of personal space, hugging and shoving and pushing and just all around being free to touch in a way that's very easy to pick up after a while. It's unnatural not to have contact with those you care about and so his natural reaction towards Anna is to touch her as much as he can. Or it would be, if it weren't for her damn title and his damn lack of one.
She shows him every wing, every parlor, every area she can, the only exceptions being her and Elsa's rooms ("Elsa likes her privacy so I think it's best if we don't, I mean, I'm sure I could if I had to, but it's different with you, I mean, not that you're bad, you're terrific- wait what?"). During all this time he makes sure to take it in but cannot stop thinking of her, of how comfortable it was to have her close yesterday, of her face when she knew he'd be here for at least a little while, of how utterly tempting and forbidden she was when she laughed in delight, just a breath away. Kristoff doesn't know much concerning royal etiquette but he's pretty sure a stolen kiss is out of the question and it's so incredibly frustrating.
"Aaaaaaand here's the library! I mean you've already been here, I know, but I don't know if Gerda pointed out everything, there are some fantastic spots where no one can see you read and you wouldn't believe how useful it's been to be able to hide there so I could bring snacks with me. Everyone seems to think I'll smear chocolate over every page if I bring some in here, but honestly, it's always more enjoyable to read when there's something good to eat and I always thought- what's the matter?"
"Huh?"
"You're staring. Have I still got food on my face? I thought I got everything."
"No no, it's fine, you're fine. It's just, well, uh…" he begins, grapples for words, find none. He sees a hint of hurt in her eyes (she's thinking he doesn't want to be here) and he forces himself to press on, "I'm listening. It's just… It's a little difficult to follow you sometimes." She tilts her head, confused.
"Really? Am I talking too fast or something?"
"No, well I mean you do talk fast but it's good, you're good at it. It's just… I'm just getting very… distracted."
"Distracted." She seems to weigh the word. "I don't understand."
Kristoff puts his hand over his face.
"You. You're distracting." He peeks out from behind his fingers. Please realize.
"Me? Distra- you mean," Anna licks her lips and the effect it has on him just isn't fair, "In a good way?" There's a breathlessness in her voice.
He nods. He doesn't understand her reaction; he'd expected either happiness or irritation, but she seems outright bewildered, if at least positively so.
"What?"
"Oh, well, it's just," she tucks her hair behind her ear, "that's very strange."
Short silence.
"Strange?"
"Well, I mean I'm just… me. And I don't know, I just didn't think that I was… Oh I don't know."
He can't help it. Kristoff reaches out and draws her in, enfolds her completely. To his relief she responds, hugs his waist and sighs. His face is buried in her hair and she smells like some flower that he can't identify and has probably never heard of. He draws back just enough to see her face.
"What do you mean, 'just you'?" He smirks, musses her hair and just barely stops himself from laughing when she half-heartedly protests and pats it back into place. "That's very silly of you, you know."
"Not really," she responds, "it is kind of my role you know. Being back-up."
"Back-up? Nothing else?"
"Well… no. I mean, I guess I'm supposed to be a princess, which is something, but I'm not very good at it. I'm just… just me, really."
She sounds like she's apologizing for it, for existing. Kristoff can think of nothing more wrong but he doesn't know how to say that, so he compromises by hugging her tight. He's about to open his mouth, suggest that maybe they should go see the rest of this gigantic building but then she snuggles into his chest and relaxes with a sigh and he doesn't know if he wants to tighten his hold or loosen it enough to kiss her, cover her face and neck and shoulders with kisses until she's breathless and desirous and whoa, easy there.
With one shaky hand he strokes her hair.
He needs to tell her soon. He's not sure of exactly what to say, doesn't dare think of it in specific terms, but it's going to come out one of these days and he won't be able to stop it.