Sound and Fury Ch. 3 – Minstrels, Minuets, and Masquerades
Author's Note: Hey guys here is the third chapter of Sound & Fury. I know that thus far this story has been much more based around Sona's Romance rather than the unbelievable fact that a strange man appeared in her room claiming to be from her dreams. I've decided that I'm going to put up music that I feel accompanies the chapters rather well, seeing as how music is an underlying theme of this story and all. For this chapter I suggest listening to My Immortal by Lindsey Stirling (an Evanescence cover). There's a video on youtube available if you want to hear it. So, without further ado, I give you Minstrels, Minuets, and Masquerades. Also I have made a deal with a few of my readers who wish for me to make a youtube channel. If you guys manage to spread the word enough about my stories that any one of them (most likely ABAHF) makes it to the front page of LoL Fanfiction (All Ratings, sorted by faves) I will make a vlog where I'll talk about pretty much anything you guys want to hear me talk about. LoL, stories, lore, etc. – Kiba Elunal
I could feel my heart beating in my chest as I held Kori against me, standing on my tip toes in order to continue kissing his lips, unwilling to release him. I wanted to know his reaction…a second went by…then two…he didn't kiss back. He didn't pull away either. My heart sank as I felt his hands on my shoulders softly pushing me away from him. "Sona…" he whispered as he looked deep into my eyes and I swallowed nervously. "I'm sorry…" he began but I cut him off.
"No I'm sorry…" my voice echoed inside of his head as he looked down at his feet, unable to look me in my eyes. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just…wanted you to know the way you made me feel when I'm around you."
"You've no reason to be sorry Sona." He said softly, "this was all my fault. I made you kiss me…and I'm sorry that I've made you experience this pain again. I didn't do it on purpose…but…even still it was selfish of me." Excuse me? He made me kiss him? What a load of bullshit.
"You don't have to spare my feelings Kori. I get it, you're just not interested in me. That's fine." I went to turn away from him but his hand caught my arm causing me to turn back with a questioning look.
"Sona…I never said I wasn't interested…it's just that I…"
"Just that you what Kori? If you were interested why did you push me away? I was trying to show you how I felt…but you obviously didn't feel the same way." He frowned softly.
"Sona…those feelings you have aren't real. They're fake. They aren't genuine." I glared at him and stepped up to him placing my hand roughly on his chest and pushing him against the bathroom's tiled wall.
"Who the hell do you think you are telling me what I can and can't feel?! Why the hell do you think that you know my feelings better than I do? Because you're wrong." He was still looking down at the ground and seeing him like that…it stirred me inside. "I love you Kori…I know that's hard for you to believe but it's true…I want to be more than just friends."
"Sona I want to be more than that too…and I do care about you, but you don't love me! You think you do, but you don't!" I felt my heart start to crack in my chest as he continued to repeat that phrase over and over again. "Sona…please understand me…you're being affected by your dreams and gratitude. It's my magic causing this feeling in you. I was worried this would happen…I'm from your dreams Sona, and because of that I give your mind a sense of happiness that you can't understand. You're feeling thankful that I've saved you so many times…that's the only reason you feel this way." I stomped my foot angirlly.
"You give my mind a sense of happiness because I like you, you big jerk! Why can't you just accept the way I feel for you and let me love you?!" He gently placed his hands on my exposed shoulders and instantly I was warmed by his touch as he held me there.
"Sona. I'm the one making these feelings of love you have…I want to be more than friends too Sona, but not if it means that the only reason we're together is because I did what I was supposed to. I want us to be together, but not out of obligation or compensation." He was starting to make me angry and I pressed myself against him to show him so.
"What makes you think that it's your rescues making me feel like this? What if I did genuinely want to be with you and you're just using your bull shit excuse because you're scared huh?" I could feel tears forming in my eyes. "Why can't you at least just let me feel this way towards you? Am I really so repulsive to you that you can't even handle the thought of me being attracted to you? Is that it?" I put my forehead against his chest as the tears started dripping from my face only for him to put a finger under my chin and tilt me up to look into his eyes.
"Think about it Sona…think back to when you first met me…it took me a total of five minutes to convince you that I was something impossible: a literal man formed in your dreams that had come to life." I started to stammer an explanation but he stopped me.
"Then we went out remember? Can you remember one thing that happened there that didn't make you absolutely happy? Not a single problem you had with me? Even if I was the best boyfriend in the world I would have had some sort of mannerism that bothered you." No. This couldn't be true, I knew what I felt was real. How could it possibly not be? "And then…at your show. You were so hurt and sad because I wasn't there even though I was gone for only a short while…even though over a dozen people were killed, the instant you saw me you hugged me and began to feel better…these feelings aren't yours Sona…they're just feelings that have been locked away in your dreams. Sona…" he said softly his words continuing to echo in my head. "I wish you would just open your eyes!"
My eyes shot open as I stared at him. I could feel as if a fog had parted in my head and I began to see what had really happened. I pointed to him and asked why. "I didn't do it on purpose Sona…sometimes I can't control myself." I frowned and shook my head. Not good enough. I pointed at him again this time more fiercely. "Sona, I'm sorry but what do you want me to do?" I drew my finger across my throat to indicate that he stop. "Sona…I can't do that…I mean I literally can't do that." I frowned softly. So is this what my life would be reduced to? Having to feel like there was this big hole in my chest and that no matter what I tried I'd never be able to feel his love for me in return?
I let him go before walking slowly towards my room, I suddenly felt very ill. "Sona wait." He called after me but I simply raised my hand to silence him before continuing onward. I laid down on my pillow burying my face in it as the tears began to come. I didn't want him to see me cry. I felt so stupid and foolish. Just like a small child. Immature Sona slips up again. I couldn't even get a guy to have interest in me or show interest in him without it being some sort of magic gone awry. I was glad that I had yet to put on my makeup…it was a stupid things to worry about but I was happy that I wouldn't stain this pillow with my tears. I felt the bed sag beside me and his hand gently pressed on the small of my back, running up my spine to softly stroke my shoulders. His massage felt great but it did little to mend my broken heart. Why was he doing this? Why was he there being so nice to me and making this hole even bigger? He was trying to comfort me…but by doing so he only made the feeling of sickness in my stomach become worse.
When I was younger and the other children in the orphanage made fun of me for not being able to speak…I remember I'd go and sit in a corner, closing my eyes and pretending that I was in some far away land where they couldn't hurt me. Where some gallant prince would make me his princess and take me off to his castle to play forever. It was such a childish thing to do, and here it was surfacing again only worse. Kori had been my gallant prince and in my head I'd let myself believe that he would want to make me his princess. I felt him gently pulling on my shoulder but I shrugged him away. I didn't want to look at his face and I didn't want him to see mine. I was surprised when with a strength I didn't know he possessed he turned me over on to my back pinned me down, my long hair splayed out around me. He looked deep into my eyes, and I gasped softly as their beauty managed to take my breath away. We stayed like that for a few minutes, my hands up by my head as I took in the essence of him.
"Sona…" he whispered softly. "I don't know…whether or not this will make you truly happy…but, I can't bear to see you like this…" I looked at him puzzled as I sniffled my tears still running down my cheeks as I stared up at him. Before I could ask him what he meant he leaned forward and placed his lips on mine. I was shocked to feel just how gentle he was and soon I realized what he was doing. He didn't believe my feelings were genuine…but he felt that if I believe such the least he could do is pretend to genuinely be interested in me. Now it was my turn to hesitate. Part of me was angry, so incredibly livid at how he was treating me like some little kid who needed someone to play along with her fantasy; treating my emotions like they were nothing more than an imaginary tea party to attend. But, on the other hand…his lips were so incredibly soft against mine. This was a moment I had longed for my entire life, the first time I would be kissed by a man. I knew it was supposed to be fake, but it felt so real. If this was a dream I hoped I'd never have to wake up and face my harsh and lonely reality again. My eyes closed slowly as I soon began to kiss him back one of my hands reaching to his cheek and curling around the back of his head so that I could pull him even closer towards me. I could feel his tongue pressing against my lips and eagerly I accepted his request; parting my lips as to invite him to explore my mouth. My tongue eagerly met his and the two began to engage in the most romantic of dances as I lost myself in him, his willing victim if his false affection meant escaping the pain.
The two of us were entwined with one another for what felt like a lifetime, and eventually he laid down beside me to hold me in his arms: the one place where I felt like the world couldn't reach me. Is this what love feels like? It was the only word I could think to describe it. Fake or not, I didn't want this feeling to leave me. When at last our kiss parted I buried my face into his chest so I could listen to his heartbeat. It was racing and the rhythm was strangely comforting. It was flattering to know that our kiss could send his heart fluttering and I could only imagine he felt as breathless as I did. "Sona…" I heard his voice in my ear and I cringed as I braced myself for the inevitable rejection that I feared. "There is something you need to hear…" His words came so slowly, it was agonizing, like bleeding out. "I love you Sona…I love you so much that it hurts…" My heart all but stopped at his confession. Was this a trick…another game of pretend to make me feel better? No, I don't think even he would go so far as to do that. If that was the case…it would nearly kill me. I looked deep into his eyes as I sent him the message that was on my heart.
"I love you too." His mouth formed into a soft smile and despite that it felt and looked genuine there was a look of worry in his eyes as I held him close. "What's wrong?" I asked softly and he simply shook his head.
"I don't know how to tell you this…it's important…but I'm afraid that if I told you…you'd hate me." I looked up at him as my mouth parted softly. I shook my head quickly. I could never hate him…he'd done so much for me. My hand softly stroked his cheek urging him to tell me what was troubling him. He smiled softly on me.
"Sona…there was one time when I wasn't fast enough to pull you from your night mare…" he whispered to me. I looked up at him and frowned. That was what was bothering him? I didn't care about the stupid nightmares, I cared about what bothered him. He must have seen my expression because he reciprocated my touch. "You know yourself that Nocturne was able to kill some of those summoners in their sleep, some of them just didn't wake up. When you were very young…before you could barely crawl…you had the same nightmare you have today. The dark cloud of the Dreaming Dark rushing towards you to consume you in terror. It was the first time you ever had the nightmare Sona and as it raced towards you I tried to stop it myself. I wanted to vanquish it Sona, to make sure it could never plague you again. But I was wrong…I was too weak. It just pushed me aside as if I were a rag doll. I watched as it grabbed you Sona and began to slit your throat. I couldn't let him kill you Sona. I just couldn't. So I grabbed you tugging you away from him before pushing you back through into the real world." I swallowed softly my hand going to my neck to softly stroke it. "He didn't get the chance to kill you Sona…but he did managed to do something…you see Sona…because of me…because I wasn't strong enough…" He began to cry before shaking his head. "It's all my fault Sona! I'm the reason you can't speak!"
I was shocked as he confessed what had been hurting him all this time. Was it true? Was his mistake the reason my life had been so terrible growing up? So many songs unsung, so many words I had wanted to say but couldn't. I gently pointed at him questioningly and with sadness in his eyes he nodded. "He managed to sever your larynx Sona…so you see…all your pain…all your misery from growing up…I caused it. Me. It was all because of me. And I'm so sorry…I would give anything to be able to give you your speech back despite all of my efforts and training I'll never be able to give it back to you…so I made a promise to myself…I became a skald and began to study every martial art known to history. I wasn't able to protect you Sona…but I swore that day that I wouldn't…no, that I couldn't fail you ever again." I was stunned, his words chilling me to the core. I suddenly felt as if I wanted to be alone. I gently untangled myself from his arms turning away from him. I bowed apologetically to him and indicated I wanted him to stay here. Turning away from him I closed the door softly behind me as he buried his face in his knees.
It all made sense now…the balance beam…the injury from the cartwheel. He had thought himself too strong and instead of removing me like he was supposed to he nearly got me killed. He was just a kid…but he even said that his people were born mentally as adults. My hand went to my throat stroking it softly. I could almost feel the gap where his blade had severed my wind pipe just little enough to remove me of the joy of speech and song. I couldn't laugh…I couldn't even really cry save my tears. And it was all his fault. Every bit of it. I began to walk through the garden outside of the house, the scent of nature around me helping to calm my nerves. First minutes went by then minutes turned into hours. Soon the sun was setting beneath the horizon and its rays of light reached out to flash like diamonds off of the fountain where I had decided to sit. Despite the clear weather my head felt like it was in a fog, my mind a large nebula of anger, sadness, passion, and love. Did I truly love him? He said my feelings were fake, that he had caused them by simply being in my presence. Was that the truth or was he just trying to make me upset with him so that his news didn't break my heart even more than it would have if I hated him already? I looked down into the water trailing my fingers through it as I stared at the image of myself that was looking back at me. My tears fell into the pool causing ripples to distort my images the way vibrato distorts a musical instrument. As the ripples cleared my reflection smiled at me. "You know…" it said softly, "It's really not fair of you to blame him for all of this. He was just trying to make your life easier."
I nodded in agreement mentally responding to myself. "Even so…he could have just sent me back. He didn't have to try to fight it. That was a stupid thing to do." The instant I said the words I knew this was me trying to grasp straws and find reasons to be angry and upset. I was hurt, I didn't want someone to tell me that it was an accident or that he had my best interest at heart. I wanted to hate him for putting me in jeopardy like he had. But just like myself my reflection could see clearly right through my visage. She chuckled lightly before responding. "Perhaps, but…you forget…if he fought the thing, there's no way it wouldn't have hurt him too."
I sighed. Talking to myself without a voice…I must be going insane. He didn't even say that he got hurt in the fight to protect me. He probably didn't…at least not physically. Or if he did it wasn't too serious. "I didn't see any wounds on him. I saw him stripped nearly to the buff and all he had were the hideous self-inflictions on his back from practicing with that weapon. It's pretty but only an idiot would go so far to learn such a thing."
My reflection frowned at me scolding me as if I were a child. "Sona! We both know that our scars aren't always the ones that we show. You heard him talking in his sleep, the man's been holding on to that accident our entire lives. Not once has he tried to justify himself, in fact he's even flat out told us that it's been hell living with it. And it's 'foolish' to make such dedication…but if recalled correctly there were times when we'd go to bed with bandages on our fingers from playing our instrument until our fingers were bloody and blistered."
"That was different!" I cried out to the water. "The etwahl was the only friend we had. That's why we learned to play it so well, that's why we practiced day and night…to become the best musician in all of Demacia!" My reflection eyes locked on mine and I grew quite as once more it spoke to me.
"And he dedicated himself to learning to fight with an incredibly dangerous weapon so that someday when you needed him he would be able to protect us in a way he couldn't when you were just a baby. Isn't it obvious? He loves us. He would do anything to protect us and the least we could do is forgive him for a mistake he made before we could even remember the mistake he made."
"But it's been so hard…our lives have been ruined because of that mistake. We have no friend, no family…no voice…all because of that stupid mistake." My reflection simply smiled. "But look at who we are Sona. We're the greatest musician in Demacia. We've fought in battles side by side with other champions of justice. Every song we've written, every note we've played…those were all created from the sorrow that lurked in our hearts. We were desperate to be heard and so we made the world listen. He feels terrible, and not having a voice isn't always easy for us. But we ARE NOT hopeless. He is here, for us! He is waiting for us in our room simply because he cares enough that he's willing to spend his entire life making up for a mistake that has changed our lives for the better. Go…we must apologize to him at once and tell him how we truly feel. This man holds the key to our heart, don't make him give it back to us now."
I didn't want to admit it but my conscience was right…I was so upset by his confession I didn't even take into account how it must have affected him. They say that hindsight is 20/20 and looking back on my actions I knew that I had hurt him badly. He was trying to be honest with me, to share with me the thing that had burdened him most after all these years…and I just walked away and told him not to follow me…even after I said I loved him. I'm a terrible person for how I treated him, I just know it. But that would change. I would walk right up to him and I'd kiss him right on the lips. And when we'd finally break for air and I had sent his heart fluttering wildly I'd tell him the seven words he wanted to hear: I love you and I forgive you. I slowly walked towards the room opening the door and mentally calling out to him. No response. My blood ran ice cold as fear struck me and as I walked in I found my window open, curtains billowing outward on the wind like an ethereal gauzy spirit. On the bed there was a small piece of paper folded up with 'Sona' printed in beautiful writing. Picking it up I unfolded it to discover that it was a note written in his hand.
"My Dearest Sona,
I know that you are most likely very angry with me for failing in my duty to protect you…even more so in that I did not tell you upon our first meeting. All my life I have watched over you, and I wish to continue doing so…though I know now that that is not an option for me any longer. I have gone to find Nocturne…and I have a clue of where he may be going next. I won't tell you where, for fear that you'll try to stop me and only end up losing more because of me. And yet as I write this I still fear that I have not told you everything. After the Dreaming Dark stole away what I'm sure would have been the most beautiful voice that has graced the ears of man, I swore I would hunt him down and ensure that he would be destroyed. But every time I got close he seemed to slip through my fingers. Until one day…I found him inside of a river bed preparing another assault on your mind and so he and I got into a confrontation, one that was meant to be the final confrontation. I had trained since the day you lost your voice with the sole purpose of rectifying the terrible mistake I made. The battle was long and difficult and just as the final blow was about to be struck…you appeared. You had fallen asleep during one of your school lessons and when you turned towards me he went to end your life. I quickly opened the portal behind you, shoving you through it and back into the real world. But in the confusion he managed to escape. I continued my search even then, and I swore that when I found him, one of us would die, no matter what. That was when the creature began to grow more intelligent. He began to gain sentience, not just being an object of fear, but an object of murderous terror. That was when the war started. The one who took your voice Sona was named "Nocturne" and made the leader of the Dreaming Dark. He managed to lead an army of nightmares against the Kalashtar requiring us to band together again as the Order of Light and drive them back to the shadows where they belonged. But we failed. With every Kalashtar killed another person would be exposed to the truth of their dreams only to be slain or scarred from terror. When my battalion was the only one left, we were ambushed by a dozen of the Dreaming Dark. It looked bad…and unwilling to allow you to be exposed to the same suffering as the others I betrayed my companions…and fled. I watched while I ran as they were all slaughtered, the fight was a close one…had I stayed they may have survived. But instead I let my cowardice and selfishness control my actions. The dreaming dark gave chase…and then once again, like an angel from heaven itself…you appeared. This time you managed to see me, and so I pushed you through the portal…my own being carried through with you…that was when I appeared in your room two nights ago Sona. When I realized where I was, I was ready to pick up my mantel. I wanted nothing more than to locate Nocturne and get revenge for what he'd done…for what he'd driven me to…I know that this may seem like I am unwilling to take responsibility for my actions…but I assure you I am. Once I've slain Nocturne I do not intend on living for much longer. Please…do not weep for me…this is the punishment that I must bear for my sins. I did not want you to love me Sona…because if you did…when my end comes by my own hand you'd be even more heartbroken then you were when I denied your kiss. I'm so sorry Sona…I'm so, so very sorry.
I love you and I hope you have a wonderful life without me there to screw it up more.
Sincerely,
Kori."
I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks to land on the paper, staining it and smearing the ink. He was going to kill himself…he was going to take his own life because he cared about me so much that he tried to protect me from the worst of fates. He was gone from my life and there was nothing I could do about it other than sit here and cry like a small child. I thought I had moved past that stage of my life, but as it turns out all I've ever been is just a scared little kid. It was then that I looked at the clock and sighed softly. Lady Buvelle had scheduled for me to make an appearance at some fancy masquerade party the other week. I had originally planned on inviting Kori to attend with me…I wished for him to be my escort. But…he was gone now. I truly didn't feel like going to the party, I wanted to stay home and sit in my sorrow and drown myself in my own tears. But Lady Buvelle would have been furious. She would have come over immediately and demanded to know everything and I couldn't handle talking to her about this. She'd never believe me anyway. I stood up and walked to my wardrobe and opening the double doors I retrieved my attire for the evening. A red and white spring dress that went down to my lower thigh and hugged my figure tightly. I would have loved to shown this off to Kori. He'd probably just flash me that warm smile of his and tell me how beautiful I was. I reached down and took my masque placing it over my head and I walked out into the night.
When I arrived at the part I tried to put on a smile so that no one would know that something was wrong. It felt as fake and false as the masque on my face. Out of obligation I agreed to dance with the throng of people attending at the party. Though I knew the moves well and my grace was spot on, my heart truly was not into it. Every person I danced with recognized me immediately: I stood out in a crowd with my long blue hair and my inability to respond to their questions. With every partner swapped the cycle of disappointment and sorrow began anew until I was passed off to another man. One with a warm smile and deep green pupilless eyes behind his mask.
"Hello Sona." He whispered softly to me, and immediately my heart skipped a beat. He was here! My Kori was here and he was dancing with me. For the first time that night I had a genuine smile on my face and before I was forced to swap partners again I squeezed his hand tightly pulling him through the crowd of people over to the side anxiously. "Sona…where are we going?" He asked as I tugged him with me and finally when we were away from the wandering eyes of the party-goers I removed his mask before tearing off mine so that I could plant a loving kiss on his lips. I was so happy, he wasn't hurt…he hadn't died. He was reluctant at first but soon he broke kissing me in return.
"Don't you dare leave me again…" I warned him mentally my eyes staring deeply into his. "Don't you ever even think that you aren't good enough for me, because I will tell you Kori, Man of My Dreams: you are my Kalashtar…my protector. And you'd better not leave me or so help me Gods I will end myself if it means finding you again, understand me?" He nodded quickly.
"Yes ma'am." He said before I kissed him again. It was then that I heard the screams. Nocturne! How could I have forgotten that the only reason Kori was here was to find Nocturne. Immediately Kori ran back to the hall to find Nocturne forming a cloud of darkness above the terrified party.
"Hey! Nocturne!" he shouted grabbing the handle of his aara and gripping it tightly. "You and I have some unfinished business, and I don't intend on you taking one more soul with your corrupted blades!" Nocturne just cackled sinisterly turning to Kori.
"Well if it isn't the little dream boy…here to avenge your girlfriend's voice I see! Hahaha!" Kori in a blur cracked the aara twice on the ground sending everyone out of the room as I struggled to get through the crowd to find him. He and Nocturne stared one another down before the living nightmare charged him slashing this way and that with his umbra blades. Kori was far ahead of him and rolling to the side he cracked the aara roughly on Nocturne's arm cutting through the darkness. Nocturne screamed in fury before turning on him his arm now vanished. "You little brat! I will kill you! I will kill everyone and everything you love!"
Finally making it through I stood at the edge of the room as Nocturne turned to see me. "And I'll start…with her!" He cackled as he rushed towards me his blade raised to strike my down. I shut my eyes tight as time seemed to slow around me. I braced myself for the end but then in the darkness of my eyes I heard a light twang. It resonated throughout the room just one note plucked from an instrument and I heard Nocturne growl angrily. Opening my eyes I found Kori standing there his blade lanced through the Dreaming Dark commander's chest. The strings on Kori's lyre were vibrating softly giving off a very soft pitch that hummed with magical energy. Nocturne stumbled back clutching his chest before snarling and vanishing in a cloud of darkness. Kori stood there for a moment breathing heavily before he weapon fell from his hands. He began to fall backwards and immediately I caught the protector of my dreams. I choked on a breath as I saw that across his chest was a tainted gash that was oozing dark violet blood. "No…no please…" I silently pleaded. "Don't you leave me Kori, you promised you wouldn't leave me!" Tears began to flow freely and I couldn't help myself any longer. They fell from my face one after the other as I clutched Kori to my chest, not caring that his blood was pouring onto me or my dress. None of that mattered in comparison to him, I didn't want the fame or the fortune any more. I wanted Kori; that was all that I wanted. I felt my heart shatter when the music and vibrations of his lyre were suddenly and abruptly silenced.
To be continued in Ch. 4 – Sona's Sostenuto Scherzo…