A/N
Ok... So, THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO MAKE THIS STORY CHANGE TO A 'M' RATING. Hopefully I said that loud enough for the people in the back. There is Sex in this. Yes... Yes there is. *sighs* You have no idea how hard smut is for me to write. lol
There are probably a shit ton of errors in this and I really hope you can forgive my sins.
Thank you, to all those who are actually enjoying this. I may not reply to you, but know... I love your LOVE.
Hope you all enjoy and remember... SMUT. *points down at the lower half of the story* SMUT.
The next few weeks went by in a flash. The lionesses were successfully bred and the plate for Narti was posted in front of the lion exhibit. She had taken multiple pictures of it and Honerva even made a replica made just for her. She took it back to her apartment and hung it in her bedroom. As a matter of fact, that was what she was staring at as she laid on her back on her twin sized bed. She hadn't heard from anyone since the kiss and finding out about Lance's threesome. Even Coran hadn't called her or texted her. She felt... invisible. Lonely. Useless. She shut her eyes and closed them very tightly and fought the depression that was trying to swallow her up. Her mind scolded her. It screamed, 'Your phone is right there. YOU could actually contact them for a change. You coward.'
But what if they were doing something important? What if they were with their families or lovers? Wouldn't I be a burden to them? "I don't want to bother them if they're having a good time." She said only to herself. She opened her eyes and looked at the plaque. Her mind stung her with a simple thought: 'You never know how long you have in this world. Better make good use of it.' Her eyes shifted downward to the small dresser drawer with her mother's picture on it and she shook her head trying to think of anything but her loss. It was harder than she thought and she tossed her back against her bed with a groan, and, finally, her mind obliged. Her memories tried to suffocate her with thoughts of Shiro's lips, Shiro's scent, Shiro's smile, Shiro's voice over and over again. Her mind growled at her that if she didn't want to be a bother to him then she shouldn't have kissed him. What if he was waiting for HER? The pain of her inner dialog groaned in her throat and she flipped over to scream into her pillow. That's when a faint noise caught her attention. She lifted her head off the pillow with a dead silence. The noise happened again and she lifted herself up and sat, crosslegged, in the middle of her mattress.
It was a low humming coming from the other side of the wall she was facing. It sounded like rain with loud drops here and there, but there was something else added to it. She put her entirety into listening. There it was, again. A sharp and deep echo. A voice in the rain? The noise got a bit louder, but still sounded distant, and more rhythmic until it finally hit her. She threw her hand to her mouth to cover the gasp that escaped. It was moaning. And by the bass of it, she recognized it. It was Shiro. Moaning. And it grew louder and louder and more desperate as she listened.
She should've just covered her ears and left the room, but she just sat on the bed and took in the most erotic noise she had ever heard. With every pant. With every huff. With every 'Oh God' or 'Fuck Yes' he uttered into the paper-thin walls, she grew more wet. She didn't want to picture him pushing her against the shower wall. She didn't want to imagine him moaning and grunting and cussing as he slammed into her over and over again. She didn't want the urge to pull his mouth to hers so she occupy that tongue with her own as her legs gripped around his thrusting pelvis to get him closer. She didn't want to, but she did...
She flung herself back against her pillows and touched herself with his voice ringing out. It was just his voice, yet, it felt like it was touching her, too. She had never rubbed herself that hard. Never wanted to go over the edge so quickly. But, she could tell by his low grunting that he was close so she wanted to match him. The urgency pulsed in her mind and she was just about to spill over the edge when she heard her name come from his mouth. It sent ice cold water into her veins and she didn't even need to stroke her clit to climax. Her own name from someone else's mouth was just the stroke she needed. She buried her face into her pillow and bit into it, muffling the scream of pure pleasure.
She laid on her bed, shuddering. The aftershock of her orgasm gave her time to contemplate how she should feel about what just happened. Not just touching herself to her neighbor's voice, but that HE was thinking about HER. The thought made the aftershocks more painful since it aroused her. Wa... Was that weird? Wouldn't any other woman be disgusted or shocked? She felt dirty and a little perverted, but nothing that she wouldn't be ashamed of. She sighed as her muscles twitched here and there, but subsided. She couldn't hear his voice nor the sound of the distant drips of water. She gave a small hum and got up to go clean herself off.
The weekends at the AZ were more lively than any day of the week. It was because the keepers of the less threaten animals or those who had babies to show off would be out answering questions or allowing visitors to get up-close and personal. Lance had a little otter pool area just outside his main enclosure, to the side so as not to block it, just for the weekends. He'd have his little pups swimming and playing with one another as he gave fun and cute facts about Sea and River otters. The kids loved it but so did the parents.
It still punched her in the gut to remember that she had done it with Narti and her sisters when they were babies. Nope. She wasn't going to think about it because she was asked to help Kolivan with his tigers, today. His tigress had 3 cubs about 2 months ago and they were lively. What monster wouldn't jump at a chance to help out with baby tigers? Not THIS monster. As Kolivan spoke of Laika and her cubs, Allura's job was simple... survive the cub attack. Their claws and teeth WERE sharp, but it was their cuteness that was the real danger. Little growls and hoarse yells happened as her leg got pounced on like a scratching post, but she laughed through the pain and played with the little buggers with her hands. That was all she did, throughout the day, was get to know Kolivan and his team better all while getting to play with cubs. She loved her job, sometimes.
She hadn't been taking the shuttle for very long, but she got to know the driver pretty well. He was an older gentleman who seemed cold and just overall sour about his job, but he always greeted anyone who came on or off his shuttle. His name was Ulaz. He was born in Kazakhstan and moved here with his family when he was 10. He had it rough in his old country and the new one. They lived on the streets, but soon... they got their footing. Ulaz had been cop and moved his way to lead dective when he turned 23. He wouldn't talk about his cases, but he brought down some big time murderers. Even was the lead on taking down the Galra gang that had terrorized not only this country but all over the world. Ulaz was a hero, yet... time moves on and he retired from the force and here he was... driving a bus that had only 8 destinations.
When he pulled to her apartment complex, she stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder. She smiled down at the cranky looking driver, "See you tomorrow, Ulaz."
He gave a glimpse of a smile before he opened the door with a hiss, "Until then, Miss Romelle."
She trotted down the steps and to the sidewalk. She turned and gave a happy wave just as the doors hiss close. He gave a small, single node, and the shuttle pulled off with a hum. She put her hands behind her back and smiled as she walked, happily, to the stairs of her apartment complex. She actually had a great day. It was suspicious of her to actually have one, but she wasn't going to ruin it with thinking about her past.
She noticed that Shiro's truck wasn't in the parking lot and her stomach dropped just as her mind reminded her of her lewd act the other night. She swallowed and sarcastically thanked herself for remembering that as she climbed the stairs. When she got to the top, everything stopped. Time. Her heart. Her breathing. Her thoughts. And she nearly flung herself down the stairs. Standing at her front door, smiling like a dog who was happy to see its master, was Lotor.
He had flowers, aurelian and trumpet lilies the ones she loved, and was wearing a very dashing suit. She finally caught back up with time and barely squeaked out, "Wh-what are you doing here? How did you find me?"
Lotor stopped and gave out a deep chuckle, "Oh, my sweet lily, I can always find you. As to why, I wanted to offer my condolences on losing your lioness. Heard about it on the news and just couldn't help myself. I had to find you and make sure you were alright."
She was shaking. She could feel it. Her lungs and heart were burning. She needed to get away from the fire. She gripped her keys in her pocket and moved to go around him, but he matched her moves until she grew irrate and stopped her. She was actually terrified, right now. This man had been out of her life for so long, but she couldn't stop thinking how amazing he smelled or how handsome he looked. She looked up and he gave her pleading smile before offering her the flowers.
She shook her head. To not only reject the flowers offered to her, but snap herself out of the submissive role she was in. She snorted, "Lotor. Thank you for worrying about me, but I'm fine. It would've been much easier to have mailed me a card or emailed me. Coming here like a creepy stalker just makes me wonder if you weren't expecting something else. Like... you thought I would just melt into her embrace and want you back? You cheated on me, remember? With God knows HOW many women or men. Thank you. Now. Good night."
He moved right in front of her, menacingly, and got his face close to hers. She furrowed her brow and stared at the little weasel in front of her. She wasn't going to let him know that his facial expression he put on was terrifying. He whispered to her, "I found out your little secret that you hid from me while we were together. The reason why I never had to worry about your time of the month and still, couldn't get sex from you. You can't have children." Her fist clenched very tight and she could feel her nails digging into her palm. She also clenched her jaw and refused to look away even though her eyes teared up. He didn't stop there as his voice sounded like a growl as he whispered more angrily, "That lioness was the closest thing you had to a child and you lost her, too. You just can't win. You are just a useless woman. Can't give birth. Can't keep a man. It must be so hard for you. Being such a lowly creature." She shut her eyes and the tears rolled down in her defeat. His laugh was dark and he sighed with an evil glee.
"The only lowly creature I see here is you, asshole."
Her eyes shot open at the sound of her neighbor's voice coming up the stairs. Her stomach dropped for two reasons. His tone was threatening and she was worried how much he heard. She turned to see Shiro with bags in his hands and a snarl on his face that was directed at Lotor, "Back away from her. Now."
Lotor tossed the flowers over the edge of the railing and walked to him. Shiro put his bags down and moved to meet him halfway. She moved in between him as Lotor growled, "Who are you talking to, boy?" He looked down at her with a vicious look and shoved her clean off her feet. She dipped her shoulder just in time to save anything from getting injured from the fall, but she heard a disgusting crack. She got up with a grimace and saw Shiro clasping his jaw. She swore she saw his eyes glow a deep purple for a brief second before he licked the blood from his lip.
Lotor was shaking his hand and laughing but it didn't last long. Shiro's fist collided against Lotor's nose and top lip with a thick thud that sent his back ricocheting off her door and to his knees. He clasped the front of his face and it concealed the gurling scream. Shiro wasn't done and she rushed to stop him. She wrapped her arms around his torso, "No. Shiro. Stop. Please."
She could feel him heaving with a deep breathing motion, and he rested a shaky hand upon her arm as he spoke down to the defeated man, "If you ever put your hands on her again, I'll break more than that pointy nose of yours. Now get out of here before I call the cops. And I'm damn sure they'll take only you since you put your hands on us, first."
Lotor stood up, still clutching his bloody nose, and glared at both of them before moving down the stairs. She didn't watch him leave since she was still very much embracing her neighbor's back. She wasn't scared but her adrenaline started to subside and made her shake. Shiro took one of her wrists as he turned in her grip, "Are you alright? Here... let me look you over."
He took each of her arms and legs to run his fingers over them. The back of her shoulder stung from it dragging against the concrete, but she wasn't going to stop the probing. It gave her a moment to replay everything that just happened. It hit her stomach again at the thought of how much he heard Lotor snarling at her.
He tilted her chin up just in time to see her eyes tear up. She saw his eyes skimming over her face in desperation and she reached up and took his hands into hers, "Thank you... Shiro. You're my hero." She watched him let out a sigh that looked like he'd been holding in. Her eyes dropped as she gathered enough courage to ask, "How much of what Lotor was saying did you hear?"
When he dropped his hand, her eyes climbed back up to his face. His lips went thin then spoke softly, "All of it." His eyes left hers but he stepped to her and wrapped his arms around her. Being crushed into his chest he whispered into her hair, "You can't have children. But... that doesn't make you any less of a woman, Allura. Lotor was trying to get inside your head. Trying to break you. Trying to make you just as miserable as he was. He saw how you had moved on wihtout him. He thought if he belittled you that you would come crawling back to him, but I know you're stronger then that. You are the strongest woman I know."
Everything crashed down upon her like a merciless wave. Her emotions were jumbled and the tears wouldn't stop. She never thought he'd have to find out about her like this. She wanted to share it with him, but this was the worst possible way... from her Ex that she hadn't seen in a decade. It was horrible, true, but now that he knew and still accepted her... relief nearly drowned her and she tried to gasp for air.
There was no doubt in her mind, now... she loved him. She loved this unbelievably perfect man. She didn't know anything about his past, but at this very moment... she didn't give a single fuck. She pushed him off her a little bit before bringing him back into her embrace and kissing him with a passion that she hadn't felt in a very long time. His moan of shock jolted down her spine but his equally passionate kiss just flooded over her dam. It brought back the very embarrassing memory of her touching herself to that very moan and her whole body lit on fire. It was like two teenagers kissing for the first time.
He started to say her name in the kiss until she finally got the hint and pulled back. He laughed as he caught his breath and smiled at her with his hands resting on her shoulders, "I am not NOT saying I wouldn't love to continue with this. But... I have groceries to put up... and..." He licked his lips and his whole demenor changed on a dime as he finished dejectedly, "... and a story to tell you." He kept her gaze for a long moment before he took in a deep breath into his nose, "Would you care to join me for dinner? I can't cook worth a lick, but I make one hell of a sandwich. I really would like to share my burden with you."
Her heart thudded as it finally got to a reasonable speed and she nodded, "Sure. I... I just need a quick shower and I'll be right over." He smiled and they backed away to give the other the space they required. He moved to his bags and she noticed he shook out and flexed his hand that had hit Lotor. She smiled at his back and moved to her door. She nervously tried to put her key in before it finally cooperated, but her mind was a mile a minute. Did he want her as much as she wanted him? It was eating at her as she hesitated at the door.
She spun around and lightly startled him, "Shiro... I-I am so sorry for all this. For Lotor. For your hand. For finding out about my secret from someone else. For me jumping on your like some horny animal. I'm sorry. This is not how I wanted this day to go." She stepped to him, but no more than three strides away, and she spoke with heaviness on her chest, "I like you. I like you a lot. You have been nothing but sweet to me and all I've given you is pure chaos. I find myself thinking about you and when I find time to not... you slither your way back in. I'm telling you this to let you know where I stand. I don't know if it's a crush or just cicumstance, but... I needed you to know my feelings. If you don't want to go any further than this, I would totally understand. I'm sorry."
"Wow." He gripped his bags and looked at her with an unreadable look. He cleared his throat and shifted all the bags into his left hand and flexed his fist up between them, "I think about you every single day. I think about your smile. I think about your hair." He laughed and blushed but continued, "I could be chest deep in motor oil and all I can think about is your laugh. I'll have you know that I haven't punched a guy in over 15 years and I just broke that guy's nose... for you. I don't know what we have either, but... I don't want it to go away. You don't bring me chaos, Allura... I'm the chaos. I want to tell you my story. I... I have to tell you. If, after you hear it, you want to move on... then that'll be that. But... if you want me to stay... I'll be by yourside for as long as this life will let me."
He gave a nod and moved to his door leaving her speechless. She shook out of her delight and confusion enough to turn back and open hers. When she closed her door, she couldn't stop thinking about what he just said. She slid down the door until her butt hit the floor and she covered her face up. Her smile felt like it would rip her head in two. Oh MY GOD... His face when he was talking about her made her feel jiggly inside. Tonight was make it or break it. Either she picks him or they end it. She pushed herself up and felt a bit odd about what she said to herself. Either? No. Shiro was the one. As she started the shower, the thought of what he said last swirled in her head. What in the hell kind of story was he about to tell? He made it sound like he was going to rip off his mask and reveal that he was Shrek or something. How shallow did he think she was? And... did he just PROPOSE TO HER. She calmed her 13 year old self down and smiled.
There were a few things that he could tell her that might deter her from a relationship with him, but from what Matt had been telling her since they met is that it had to do with his past. God. It was going to be a monster of a tale since it gave him nightmares. But, Coran always told her that the past doesn't influence who we want to be unless we let it. Only we can decide the type of person we will become. How do you tell that to a man that works on machines just so he doesn't have to sleep through the terror of his past that he is more than what his nightmares are? As she washed every single crease on her body two or three times, she started to get rather nervous. She washed her hair twice, got out, dried off, and blow dried her hair.
As she brushed out the wetness, she stared at the long scar. She swallowed a little as a small spark of fear popped in her belly. She paused too long and the sudden burning feeling from the blow dryer snapped her out of it. She didn't put on too much makeup, but enough to highlight her features. God she needed to stop watching makeup tutorials. She brushed and flossed her teeth then licked at them. She looked up at herself in the mirror. She and pressed her lips together. How long has it been since she happily looked at herself in the mirror? She looked away from her reflection and went into her bedroom.
She took out one of her gaze-getting dresses. It was her turquoise dress and she knew it looked flawless with her skin color and it had to be one of her favorites. It was short, tight, and backless with a guarentee of making men sigh. She had heels to match, but it was only dinner next door. She slipped into her light colored sandals and grabbed her keys and her handbag with her phone in it and stopped behind the door. She tried to convince her heart that everything will be alright, but it continued to beat a mile a minute. She didn't think she was ready to hear his story, but the curiosity side of her brain thought otherwise. She took one last, huge intake of air through her nose, and headed next door.
Before she could get her knuckle against the wood of his door, Shiro had already opened it. He wore a simple black polo shirt that hug onto his form the best it could and very well fitted jeans. The awkward smile he had on his face looked like it had fallen right off his face as he jaw went loose. That set a fire in her belly... seeing the way she made him look was enough to know that her choice in dress was perfect. He gathered himself with a cough and stepped aside to let her in, "Wow, Allura, you look like a Goddess. That dress is stunning."
She stepped in but stopped right in front of him. She smiled and shot him with sarcasm, "Oh. This old thing?" She made a face and entered his living room as he shut the door.
She was awed by how sophisticated his living room was. Where his window was, a small two-seater charcoal colored couch sat with two black and grey pillows leaning on the armrests. A knee high, white, cylinder table sat in front of that with two black chairs on the other side, facing the window. On either side of the couch were two small lamp tables with charcoal grey bases and white shades. There was no TV, but there were cubbies cut out of the table that had slots for board games, cards, and magazines. There was a crack in his ceiling, much like the one on hers and she noticed that the same, off white color of her walls, matched hers, too. It was quite amazing to see how spotless it was.
He came around her, his fingers barely wanting to disturb her skin, and waved his hand towards the couch, "Please. Have a seat. I'll go get the sandwiches."
When he got back, he had made her one delicious turkey hoagie with some Sunchips and sweet tea. They talked about the past week since they hadn't seen each other. She didn't bring up her hearing him in the shower bit, but it was in the back of her mind. Shiro had went flying, again. He flew a couple to Osaka and back. She saw a twinge of something in his eyes and had a thought that he lived there, at one point. She told him about the tiger cubs and he seemed to beam at that.
It was a simple meal and it felt really comfortable to have it in an apartment she'd never been in. Any other person would've made her feel weird and on edge, but he was just so easy to talk to and so unbelievably professional that there was no way that this story he was going to tell would make her feel any differently about him. He stood and took their plates back to the kitchen. As if he heard her inner monologue in there, he came back and sat down, "Well, I guess it's better to just... get it over with. You... you don't mind, right?"
She shook her head 'No' and turned to get comfortable on the couch. The way he told the story felt like a flashback. She listened closely and got swept into the imagery of his tale, feeling like she was seeing it through his eyes.
"I guess I should start this story by telling you about my family. My father was a stern man. Not one of those stern men that was abusive or angry all the time, just one that needed things to be in order. He had been a marine since he was 19 so my mother assumed that was the reason. My mother, in contrast to my father's intensity, was the sweetest woman in the world. She believed that everything had a purpose and everyone deserved a chance. She believed that patience and focus could yield understanding. She was a stay at home mom and never allowed the house to not be cleaned. She never killed spiders. She always had house plants. And she was a foster for the animal shelter, so animals came and went.
Believe or not, I had a twin. Hikuro. Born almost a whole minute before me, but still had my face. I also had an older brother, Sven, who was from a previous marriage of my mother's, but my father treated him like he was his own. He was 12 years older than me and Hikuro. I don't remember too much about him. When he turned 18, he joined the Army and was deployed a year after that. When me and Hikuro turned 7, mom and dad got the news that Sven had been shot and killed in the line of duty. It broke my mother's heart, but she buried it with housework.
Shiro's face suddenly twisted into a horrid look and it made her shiver from the cold that lurked in her veins and she knew the story was about to shift gears.
"Three years after my brother died in battle, one of the worst winters we had hit our town. We didn't have gas heat so we had to use space heaters. My father told me again and again not to put the heaters too close to the beds, but one night, I woke up because I had to pee and when I came back, I saw my brother shaking under his blanket. I just wanted to warm him up, so I slid the heater closer and went back to bed..."
Shiro's folded his head down and she could see him begin to quiver. He took in a huge intake of air as he looked back up and with a shaky voice, he continued,
"I was woken up by my brother's screams. I jumped out of bed and froze at the fire that was growing bigger by the second. I tried to grab him but the fire's heat was too strong and my brother's scream stopped. Like a coward, I ran out of the room, but the fire out ran me and covered the exit to the house. I ran to my parent's room and saw them still lying in bed. The smoke hurt my eyes and burned my lungs. I didn't know it then, but the smoke had killed them. I opened the window up just as the fire bled into their room. My mother was a small woman and I thought I could save her. I picked her up and dragged her to the window. I slung her upper body on the sill and got on the other side and tried to pull her out... th-the fire engulfed the room and... swallowed her up.
I moved t-to try and pull her out. The fire set my clothes ablaze and the pain caused me to let go and fall to the ground. I put the fire out and the pain nearly made me pass out, but I saw my mother's arm still out and I-I had to save her. I grabbed her hand and still tried to pull... e-even when the fire got too hot... I pulled one of my hands away and continued to pull with my right. I screamed. I pulled. The flesh of her arms sloughed off and I fell onto my back. I remember the smell of flesh burning and no pain came from my arm before I rolled it around on the cold grass to put it out. I watched the black smoke of my house rise up into the night sky. T-then everything went black.
I had a fourth degree burn on my arm and the rest were third degree or lower. I... I didn't care about the burns. I didn't care about how disfigured they were going to make me... All I could think about was my brother's screams and my mother's arm flesh coming off.
I killed them. I killed them... not the fire. I... I'm a monster."
His hands went to his face and she watched him trying to not breakdown. She scooted closer and put a hand on top of his knee. What could she say that wouldn't sound like she was babying him? The story he told was heartbreaking and horrifying. This poor man has lived with this for so long that he probably hears his brother and watches his mother being pulled apart every single night. Was this really a secret that was going to make or break a relationship? She didn't think so. Not at all. This was just what it sounded like... a really tragic accident. She needed to say that, but... is it what he wanted to hear? She was pretty sure Matt or Keith or even Pidge would've said that to him... right? No matter what she could say, he would still be adament that he did, in fact, kill them. It WAS his fault... accident or not... and that's what the secret did to him. It made him the bad guy. What do you say to a person who has taken the blame for his mistake for over 20 years? What could you say?
They stayed in silence. Her hand felt strange on the denim on his knee, but she couldn't bring herself to remove it. She couldn't figure out the right words to say to him and a simple 'I'm Sorry' felt so empty to say, so the hand was the only comfort she could give that didn't make her feel like an idiot or a failure as a friend. His gloved hand covered hers and she looked up into his eyes. He could barely keep the contact with her gaze but he spoke out, "Thank you, Allura. For listening."
She looked down at the glove and licked her lips. She whispered, "You're welcome." For a crazy, silent, moment, something inside her screamed for her to say something. ANYTHING else. ANYTHING. And her mouth obliged against her will. Her face flushed even before she could speak because it wasn't well thought out and could possibly damage the comfort she and him had built as they conversed, "Why do you do this to yourself, Shiro? Why do you treat yourself like some murderous child? Your intent was pure. You saw your brother freezing and you wanted to alleviate him of it. Yes. You were to blame for the incident, but... you had no intent of the aftermath. I-It was an accident. Fatal, as it was, but an accident nonetheless. I am truly TRULY sorry that you had to live through this, but... you have to know that no one blames you... except YOU."
She felt a zap in her spine as his eyes snapped up to hers but she didn't look away. She shook her head as tears started to build. She thought about her mother and about his mother and it just naturally built up tears, "You think your mother would seriously blame you for this? You think your mother wouldn't hold you and tell you to forgive yourself? Don't do this, Shiro. Don't shoulder all this pain by yourself. You were just a child. You... are not a monster."
If the emotions that bubbled in her weren't enough to set her tears off, watching Shiro's tender grieving face scrunch up was. She reached a hand up and cupped his cheek, wiping the tear away with her thumb as she leaned over and kissed the other eye. The salty tear tingled like the taste of metal. She moved her other hand to cup the cheek as she peppered kisses on his brow and forehead. She rested her forehead on his turned his cheek to kiss at her palm before he tilted his head up and kissed her softly on the lips.
"I... I want you, Allura."
She felt the searing fog of her blush spread over her entire face. She licked at the sudden dryness that infected her mouth. She gathered her courage and put her forehead against his, again, and cut her eyes up to meet his. With a small whisper meant for only him, she said as arousingly as she could, "Then take me, Takashi, I'm all yours."
The journey to his bedroom was a blur of kisses and touches. They entered the room, the door was closed by Shiro slamming her against the back of it. She felt his exhaled huff against her lips before he pulled her into a strong but crazed kiss. The wildness turned into something more tame. She felt him shift into deep and slow kisses. He was savoring everything and that only made her want more of him. She moved her hands down to the bottom of his shirt to slide her hands up, but she was stopped by startled hands. He yanked himself out of the kiss and back away like she just stabbed him. She was left, still leaning against the door, shocked and almost offended.
Shiro shook his head and she could see the fear of rejection clear on his face as he stuttered, "I-I ca-can't. I can't. God, Allura... I'm sorry. I-I... I'm sorry."
She moved to him, chasing him as he backed away further, and finally caught him to cup his cheeks with her hands. He was panting hard but she didn't know if it was from the kiss or the fear. She wanted him to see that what she wanted wasn't out of pity or even out of curiousity... this was out of love. She wanted this man in front of her just as much as he wanted her. She did from the moment they met. Hearing his story didn't change that and she knew that his scars wouldn't, either. She wouldn't let him re-live this nightmare over and over again like Matt had insisted. She had learned about his internal scars, but she could see that his ultimate fear was being rejected by his outer scars. He didn't know just how much she desired him. How much she wanted him to feel her love. How much she yearned for him to be comfortable around her. As she held the scared man's face, she kissed him slow and deep. Every ounce of her sentiment buzzed upon her lips and she could feel it thawing the tensity out of his muscles.
She pulled back from the kiss just enough to watch his face as her fingers found the bottom of his polo shirt. She waited for him to panic, to scream for her to stop, but all he did was gaze into her eyes. He gave her a slight nod before he swallowed deeply. As she began to pull the shirt up, his eyes shut tight. She didn't rush it. She made sure her fingers didn't hit his skin. When his hair flowed back to position from being disturbed by the shirt, she held it in her hands. She took in the massively scarred body as his eyes were shut closed. From his right shoulder, down across his chest, and all down his sides... the mercilessness of fire told its story all over his body. She could see that it was below the waist of his pants, too.
She didn't feel pity. She didn't feel sickened. She felt... Curious. Protective. Loving. She felt like she wanted to kiss every single dip and piece of knawled flesh to show him that she accepted every single part of him. She wondered if this was when the shitty women his had been with would either hurl themselves out of the room or on top of him? She wouldn't be either one of those. She decided to just stand and waited. She looked down at the body-warm shirt and rubbed her fingers against it. This was his armor. This is what he had always worn to protect himself. She looked up at him and saw that not all of his armor was off. She placed the shirt on his dresser and stood before him and spoke softly, "Please, Takashi, take off the glove, too."
He didn't open his eyes. He just took in a very deep breath as if steeling his resolve. He hesitated for a long time before finally reaching up and the sound of velcro ripping filled the quiet room. A few more bands of velcro ripped before he hesitated again. His fingers were ready to slowly pull the sleeve off when his eyes opened. He looked like he changed his mind and he spoke with his voice shaking, slightly, "This... this thing underneath... it's... it's really gruesome. I... I..."
"It's alright. Go on. Take it off."
Shiro didn't move. The terror had stiffened his resolve, again, and left him panting and shaking. In a very fluid motion, Allura stepped forward, kissed him, grabbed the sleeve off, and held it behind her back as she kissed him a little longer. When she pulled away, she looked at the most mangled limb she had ever seen. From just above his elbow and down to his fingers, looked like an arm without skin. Though the darkness of the room mad it difficult to see anything but shades of shadows, she could tell it was angry and red. The fingertips barely had any flesh over the bones of his fingertips and you could see strands of muscles up the forearm. It was absolutely horrifying to look at... but not enough to make her leave this room. Not enough to reject the wonderful man attached to it.
She could see tears forming in his eyes and she knew he wanted to run. He wanted to be back in the hole he had buried for himself. He was back in the middle of his nightmare and was probably screaming what a monster he was. She wasn't going to let him shutdown. She reached out and took his ungloved arm. He jerked back with his eyes wide open. She refused to give up and took the reluctant arm with both hands as she softly begged with her eyes. He let up his resistance with fear still plastered on his face, but she watched him. She guided the scarred limb up to her face and pressed the hand against her cheek. She closed her eyes, with his still glued to her, and focused on the warmth of it. She felt the sadness and pain he must have went through. The thought of this limb of his had never touched another human being made her turn her cheek and kiss the palm. She could hear Shiro's gasp as he tried to pull it away, but she refused. She caressed his forearm then gripped the base and behind his hand as she kissed the fingertips and down to the wrist.
Her mind was soaring. She was pouring all her emotions into these little butterfly kisses, but she needed more. She wanted this hand... this man... to touch her, to taste her, to just BE with her in this moment. She released the hand, but only to reach up and flip the straps of her dress off her shoulders. His eyes, that still looked glistened, followed the motion of the dress as it cascaded off her form. She hadn't worn a bra for that particular dress so she knew his eyes were going to have a lot to look at. She nearly laughed as his eyes stopped at her breasts then nervously shot back up to her eyes.
The amusment on her face melted, however, as she stepped forward and took his fire kissed arm, again. There was less resistance, but still present, as she brought it back up to her lips. She kissed the palm softly and purposely before slowly guiding the arm down. She could feel the heat blaring from the limb as it trailed down her chest. She pressed the hand to cup her entire breast and her eyes pleaded for him to understand what she wanted. She wondered if he could feel her heart hammering against her ribcage because, that this moment, it was so loud in her ears.
There was a senseless moment where all she could feel was the static of the silence. His gaze was unsure but unwaivering and she was afraid he had an overload of emotion, but when the zap of arousal hit her gut as his thumb began to circle her areola, nothing in the world mattered. How long had it been since a man touched her? She wasn't going to do the math right now. If a simple rubbing of her nipple caused her to nearly climax, then the rest of the night was going to be very intense. She arched her back into the one sensation and she couldn't believe how electrifying it was. Embarrassment came across her mind, but was negated by lips on her collarbone and fingertips on her bare hip.
She put an arm around his neck as everything shifted from cautiously fragile to sensual. His fire kissed hand stopped its minstrations only to aid its brother into slipping between the fabric on the sides of her panties and pulling them down in unison. His lips trailed a freezing hot path down her chest, over her stomach, and stopped just below her belly button, where her vertical hysterectomy scar was. Now it was her turn to feel nervous and uneasy. He must have sensed it as he stared up at her with a gentle smile as his hands abandoned the garmet to grasp the side of her hips with a loving pressure. It shook out a shivering gasp from her lips as his tongue traced the scar from the top of her pubic mound to the bottom of her belly button. She bit her bottom lip to stifle the moan as the walls of her vagina clamped and twitched from arousal.
The moan that had left her mouth was loud enough to echo in the back of her throat and possibly the apartment complex. There was a sudden feeling of being lifted before she was crushed against him by his two, now cooperating, hands that had their grips on the cheeks of her ass. Her eyes found his already focused on her and she didn't need any acknowledgment on what they were asking for. She wrapped her arms around his head and latched her lips on his. She was very much naked, so there was nothing left to do but to let him have her. Ravage her. Make love to her. Do whatever he wanted, as long as he never stopped. She needed him. She always thought that she wanted it soft and slow, but... the fire that was trickling in her veins wanted it hard. She wanted flesh slapping together. She wanted teeth and tongue on her shoulder. She wanted him. She wanted him raw and savage. She needed him with a primal urge that she had never felt. It made her whimper in a pleading breath as she clung to him.
His memory of the exactness of his room allowed him to make it to his bed without sight which was very convienant since she was nipping and licking and sucking on his bottomlip. She felt him stop suddenly and knew they'd made it to their destination. She heard the squeaking of his bed as his knee sank in and she felt the fall backwards; bringing him along for the descent, never breaking her desperate kiss. His weight on top of her ignited a whole nother fire inside her, and, by the shift of the man's hips against her pubic bone, he was feeling that heat, too. But his lips sudden left hers and took the same trail as they did before, but he doesn't stop at the scar. He pulls her to the edge of the bed and drapes her legs over his shoulders. The desire on his face as he cuts his eyes up to meet hers makes her body quiver as ice water feels like it was injected into her blood stream. He licks his lips and his eyes focus down on his next task. She feels his fingers part her labia, his breath against her esposed sex, and when she feels the strong and velvety stroke of his tongue... her eyes flicker into the back of her skull as her hands grip the comforter underneath her to try and anchor her down since she felt like she was hovering off the bed.
Hisses and grunts turn to whimpers and hums. The more he lapped up her juices, the more that flowed out. His tongue and suction were pushing her further and further towards the edge. Her body felt on fire yet freezing from all the sweat. She couldn't hear her pleading cries because the muted pulse in her ears was barracading everything from her senses. All she could feel was his tongue, his fingers probing her, the bass of his voice vibrating her clit... she felt like she would touch the stars if his hands weren't gripping her thighs to stay on Earth. When everything went white, tense, and painfully stimulating, she felt his grip tight on her thighs before her lungs tightened as her muted praise rushed from her lips. At the end of her climax, his name flickered off her tongue and she almost sang it out, "Ohhhh.. Takashi."
Allura laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying her best to catch her breath. Her body was still tingling and the aftershocks still spasmed her walls. When she everything finally caught up to her, she noticed Shiro standing and licking his lips and fingers. She sat all the way up and grasped the outside of the pockets of his pants and pulled him to her. She kissed at the burned scars as her hands busily unzipped the front of his pants. His breathing got erratic as she looked up as his parted lips that he licked at. He was not going to protest, now, was he?She looked up him with her hands paused in their actions. He reached down with his scarred hand and brushed the hair that stuck to the side of her face from the sweat with a smile. She bit her bottom lip and her hands reached into the hole of both his pants and briefs. She felt the girth, pure heat, and stiffness of his penis and it twitched in greetings. She also felt that the soft skin of his shaft wasn't spared the fire, but she had no intentions of stopping. His body went as stiff as his cock as she freed the good 8 inch, uncircumsized organ. Sure enough, his penis looked disfigured and scarred like his upper body, but it was strong and very eager. How could she possibly regret such a healthy and happy guy?
She looked up at him and saw him shaking. Not from excitement, but from the next level of his fear. Well, she was well past all of this, and was now on pure lust. She wasn't about to let this moment be ruined by anything but him cumming too soon. As one hand pulled the skin off his head and stroked his shaft, the other dove back into the hole to free his testicles. His body's quivering changed reasons in a split second and the overly sexy groans began. When she saw his eyes close shut, she knew it was her turn to pleasure. It had been well over 10 years since she's given a blow job, but the mechanics weren't that hard to forget. Her one hand stroked while the other fiddled with his sack. She puts her tongue flat at the base of his shaft and drug it up against the bulbous muscle of his undershaft. She let her hand take the moisture from her actions and slowly stroke him with a crude sloshing as she blindly tongued his frenulum.
Pre-cum dripped down the head and pooled against her tongue. She took the liquid in and followed it back to its origin. She took the very tip of his head in a fish kiss as her tongue lapped at the small hole. Shiro cussing and trying to stop himself from thrusting was enough to get her wet again. It was also a sign that he was getting pretty close. Without warning, she took the head and most of the shaft deep into her mouth and pressed him as far as her gag reflex would let her. She twisted her mouth and let her saliva coat the inserted muscle. Some of it dripped down to his balls and she used it to intensify the experience. His cock twitched inside like it was alive as his hands came into play. Both pushed her hair back into his overly scarred hand to hold it like a pony tail while the other moved back and gripped the side of his pants. She could tell he was trying to not grab her and thrust into her mouth, wildly, but there were still movement in his hips, soft but threatening to unhinge into something primal. She pulled her mouth back with suction until her lips got to the head. As she sucked on it like a lollipop, her hands busily stroked the lubricated shaft and sack.
She took the length of him a few more times before taking him all in again and holding him there with her hands pressing his ass towards her, but this time, she added a low hum to vibrate the back of her throat. That was enough to shatter his control. He leaned forward with a growling 'Fuck' and took the back of her head to drive himself into her mouth in a mild force that she wasn't going to fight. He was getting too close to stop him now, but she didn't have a choice. He let go of her hair and yanked himself out of her mouth, but she maintained her grip on the shaft as she stroked him hard and fast with his pre-cum and her spit glistening as she moved her hand faster.
"Fu... Fuck... Allura... oooooh." She brought both of her hands up and watched his face as she double fisted his shaft. She had never seen anything more erotic in her life then a man like Shiro, losing control. Her lips were apart as she looked up at him gripping the head board and his body convulsing. She put her mouth on his head and caught every little squirt of semen she could. His hand gripped the top of her head and she could feel his body convulsing with his climax as he grunted and muttered what sounded like her name. She swallowed the salty musk and moved over so he could collapse upon his bed beside her.
She used her fingers to wipe some of his semen off her lips and chin while she watched his scarred chest rise and fall rapidly. She was proud of herself. She made him like this. Her eyes fell to the arm he had been hiding from her, laying beside him, the fingers twitching once in a while. She scooted to him, lifted the limb up, and pressed her naked body against his side then draped the limb over her shoulder. She brought the hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. He smiled, tired and happily, before curling the mangled arm and bringing her closer as he turned into her. They kissed, mingling the tastes of their sex's together. It was odd, but tasting herself on his lips sparked and riled her up, again. It was then that time did a really strange thing. Like she was on drugs.
She remembered riding him with her back pressed against his chest, being bent over and drilled with her breath on her neck, hugging his head to her chest as she rocked her hips heavily, but it was when she was on her back with her arms held over her head and her legs wrapped around him that time caught up to her. The delicious build of molten ice in between her legs just before she came hard. She felt him pushing against her tightness and him yell out in pure pleasure. His name felt like a winning prize as she arched and came again. He pulled her into his lap with a bear-like vice as he sat back on his knees and just churned her up and down. Gods... it was heaven and hell at the same time. She came again and again and she screamed but couldn't hear it over the pounding of her ears and smacking of her flesh. When he finally reached his climax, it was ragged and burning hot inside of her. She could finally hear him. His grunting as he held her and made the curve of her neck moist from his moaning gasps for air. Her once heavy arms found their way around his head. Her fingers digging into his scalp with a gentle, loving rub, "Ohhh... Takashi... Oooohhh... God. That was amazing."
She felt him smile against her skin and he kissed whatever skin was near his lips. He lifted them and dropped them in the center of the bed before she felt the excrutiatingly teasing pull out that made a moist noise that was barely heard over the two of them hissing from the feeling. He pushed himself above her, but paused to look down at her. She couldn't believe after what they had just done that this little moment made her embarrassed. The way he was looking at her reminded her of how Sendak looked at all his lionesses. He bent down and kissed her deeply, sensually, and slowly. Did he want to go another round? Because this was how other rounds started. He pulled away and with barely a whisper, he smiled, "I love you. I love you, Allura."
Her heart stopped beating and when it remembered to do so, it came back to life screaming. Tears she didn't ask for pooled into her eyes and she could see the bewilderment on Shiro's face. She blinked them out of her eyes and started to wipe at her face, "Sorry. I'm sorry. You... you snuck that on me. You should know better than to surprise me. I'm very easily startled." She sniffled the emotions back and let out a heavy sigh. He was still searching her face with a regretful look, "You beautiful man, you. Shiro, I've been in love with you since I met you. So... of course... I love you, too. I do... I love you."
He smiled that smile of his and he lowered himself back down on her. He kissed her two happy times before rolling off the top of her and beside. He pulled the comforter and sheet over them as he spooned with her. WIth a happy hum on her shoulder, he kissed it a few times, and within minutes she could feel his heavy breath of sleep on the back of her neck. That, strangely, brought joy to her. She bit her bottom lip and smiled widely as she pushed her back against him. She looked down at the mangled arm, resting around her body, and content of being out of its sleeve. She brought the loose and lifeless arm up to her lips and kissed the back of it and hugged it to her chest. She let her mind wander as she caressed the limb with her thumb until sleep also caught up with her.
Light stung the back of her eyes and made her stir awake. She was unbelievably warm and a little confused and... sore. The memories flooded back to her and she smiled. She turned over to see Shiro slightly drooling on his pillow breathing soundly through his mouth. Fondly, she watched him. She moved the sheet and with the new abundance of light, she saw her new favorite friend... his mangled limb. It wasn't as red and raw as it looked to her in the pale lit room, last night. It had bits of his real skin tone, but the rest looked like waves of red and darker skin color. She let her eyes drift to the rest of his burns on his chest. They were a little darker than his skin tone, but not enough to notice if you weren't too close to it.
She couldn't stop herself, she reached out and touched his chest. As she touched him, she let his story run through her head. God... how painful it must have been. Not just the fire, but the sheer horror of watching your mother burning alive as you try, in vain, to pull them out. Her story could never compare to that nightmare. She heard him take a deep breath through his nose as he hummed out a stretch and his eyes fluttered open. She took her hand back but smiled as he stared at her with a questionable look. In a low, untested voice, he whispered, "Yo... you stayed?"
She furrowed her brow. What a foolish question... "Of course I stayed. There's nowhere else I want to be."
Her answer seemed to knock off whatever darkness had plagued him and he reached over with his ungloved arm. It shocked her that he was using it, so she jumped back from it. He stopped with a freaked out look, "S... Sorry. I..."
She immediately realized her mistake and grabbed the arm in mid air and pulled it to rest on her cheek, "I'm sorry. I didn't think you were comfortable enough to touch me with it, so it shocked me. THAT shocked me. Not your arm." She proved it by mimicking her actions with it form last night. Turning her cheek and kissing the palm.
"You don't have to try so hard, Allura. I know its disgusting looking."
He had a deep hatred in those words. She shook her head in his palm and it made him look up at her. She clenched the limb and spoke with pure sincerity, "I'm not trying at all. This is my limb, now. It belongs to me." She slid his thumb into her mouth and sucked on it. The digit rested in the cradle of her tongue as she gave it a professional minstrations that she was sure he recognized. She closed her eyes and sucked on the digit until it popped out of her mouth.
His hand's grip suddenly got very possessive and she shot her eyes open to see that she stirred a little bit of the beast in him. She smiled as he drifted his cold, moist thumb over her bottom lip. She kissed at his hand, still grasping his wrist with her own hands, until they were jolted away with his sudden lurch forward and claiming her lips with a crash. When he pulled away, he rest his forehead on hers and whispered ever so sweetly, "It's not the only thing that belongs to you."