"Ana, you need to eat." Christians voice is stern, and not to be tested.

But when I look down at the tray Gail has prepared me, I feel my stomach lurch. I shake my head and push it away.

He takes a long steady breath and I know he is trying not to explode at me. He releases it through his nose then says, "You have to eat Ana." He still has a tone, but I can tell he is trying to reason with me more than demand it.

I go back to looking out the window. "I really want to go back to the mountains." I say in a dreamy type of way. The thought of going hiking and getting away from the city and everyone in it, seems nice. I want to go back to Christians place in Aspen.

"When?" Christians voice is surprised and I know without even looking at him that his brows are raised.

"Now."

"Okay…I can arrange that."

"Then do it." My voice is flat, because I'm not at all surprised that he'd make it happen. Christian had been determined to make my life bearable these last couple of days, even though his attempts had been in vain.

I stayed locked in our room, not going downstairs once since I had got back from the hospital. Christian kept his distance, knowing that I wanted to be left alone but I knew he was having a hard time with that. When he'd come to bed he would wait until I was asleep to pull me to him. I'd wake up the next morning to have his limbs tangled around mine as if he were trying to get his fill of me in before he knew I'd wake up and push him away.

The nightmares had been the worse. Every night so far, sometimes more than once. And I had noticed that Christian had lost some weight as well. Though I never said anything about it, I was surprised he had been skipping meals as well.

Christians voice behind me on the phone pulls me back to the now. I'm sitting facing our bedroom window that looks out at the city. I was standing at the window so much these past couple of days that Christian finally went out and bought me a rocker to put in front of it. As I rocked I listened to his demanding voice on the phone, making the immediate arraignments for us to leave for Aspen. As much as I despised Christian right now, he did always try to make me happy.

"Okay, the plane is all set to take us in two hours. Do you want me to have Gail pack you a bag?" Christian appears by my side, his voice gentle.

I shake my head and look up at him, "No, I can do it." I stand and walk over to our closet, then turn back to him. "How long can we stay?" I ask, needing to know how much clothes to pack.

"As long as you want."

I nod and begin grabbing a lot of clothes. Normally I would insist we didn't stay too long, knowing Christian had a business to run and it would be more difficult doing that from Aspen. But fuck his work. The loss of our baby is more important and I need time to heal. Even if Christian never loved our baby.

"Do I need to pack your clothes too?" I ask as I reach for a couple pairs of yoga pants.

"I have clothes there. We can stalk your side of the closet when we get there. We didn't get the chance to last time. Maybe you can go to town and buy whatever you'd like when we arrive."

I pause mid reaching for a red hoodie and turn to look at him. "Im not really in the shopping mood." I say cooly. My voice begins to tremble and Christian starts to back track.

"I just meant-to get your mind off things. I could come with you of course…" His voice is so unsure. It almost makes me feel bad. Almost.

I just go back to packing and ignore him. He didn't move the entire time. Just stood there as if studying a painting, while I set my clothes out on our bed. Finally when it was time for me to get my bag, he followed me into the closet and grabbed it from the top shelf for me.

"Thanks." I say as he sets it on the bed for me.

Smiling he looks over my shoulder at the pile I have acquired. "You planning on being there for awhile?"

I glare at him annoyed, "You said I could stay for as long as I wanted."

"I know, I just needed to know so I could plan accordingly for work."

I purse my lips and nod, picking up a shirt and folding it neatly before setting it inside my bag. "I'll tell you what. I'll stay for as long as I want, and if that interferes with work for you, you can come home whenever you'd like."

Christians brow furrows, easily picking up on my tone.

"I wouldn't leave you there Ana, you know this. I'll stay for as long as you need."

Taking a deep breath, my eyes close as I try to calm myself so as not to explode on him. When I spoke, my voice was very steady, "See thats the problem Christian. It shouldn't just be me who needs this. This should be something we are dealing with together."

"Baby," He tries to grab my hands but I pull away from him.

"Stop!"

He runs a hand through his hair, aggravated. "Why wont you just let me comfort you!"

"Why should I? After everything you've done! I needed you Christian and you just fucking left me! So why after all this shit you did to me, should I let you comfort me now?"

We stand there, both too stubborn to back down to the other. Finally Christian speaks.

"I'm sorry. I know I let you down. Please just forgive me so I can help you through this."

I have to wait a minute before I allow myself to speak. I didn't want to voice the hatred words that my brain was trying so fiercely get out of my mouth. So I simply just shake my head and say, "No."

Christians nostrils flare as his breathing increases, "Ana, you cant just continue to treat me this way!"

I remain quiet, folding my clothes and placing them in neat piles inside my bag. Christians defiantly trying to get a reaction from me, but I am in no mood to deal with Fifty right now.

"I think you need to see Flynn." His statement surprises me.

"Um, no."

"Yes, Ana you need to talk to someone, and if you wont let that someone be me, then I think Flynn is the right guy for you."

"I'm not going to go to your therapist to talk about this. I don't need to talk about it Christian, I need time-thats all."

"I'm setting up an appointment for when we get back and you're going." He says it as if his words are final say and it gets my blood boiling. My hands go to fist at my sides.

"Go ahead and make an appointment! But alls I'll tell him about is how you decide to run to your precious Mrs. Robinson every time we have an issue!"

Christians jaw clenches and he goes to defend himself, or her maybe, but I don't give him time to. "Don't try to deny it! I'm sick of it! I refuse for you to see her ever again!"

"How is this even relevant right now, Ana? I'm trying to talk about the baby and you-"

"No! You do not get to talk about the baby. Not after all the terrible things you had to say about him when he was still-still," My voice breaks as the tears well up in my eyes and suddenly I'm sobbing.

Christian ignores my attempts to push him away from me, and his arms become a vice around my waist.

"Stop trying to push me away." His voice is commanding but loving at the same time. He holds me tightly, kissing the top of my head as I cry into his chest. I decide after a few minutes of fighting him to just give in and I wrap my arms around him tightly. My cries are that of a pained person, loud and angry at once. I don't care though. It's as if my body needs me to release in this way at least once a day in order to cope, and I gladly have been giving in to it. The fact that Christian is holding me this time, only seems to make my cries worse.

"Im so sorry," He whispers into my ear. His voice cracks at the end and for a second I wonder if he's crying as well. "I love you Baby, I'm so so sorry."

I just continue to cry for another good ten minutes, the entire time Christian just holds me. He doesn't try to get me to stop, or calm me down. Its as if he understand that I need this. Every now and then he whispers words of love, or more sorrys but other than that, he's silent. My cries finally turn to whimpers and I quickly wear myself out and wipe my now runny nose with the back of my hand.

I look up at him, "Can we still go?" I ask, my voice raspy.

"Of course. Let me finish packing your bag." He ushers me to the rocker and I sit as he quickly puts everything back in my bag for me. After what feels like only a few minutes he's in front of me, bag in hand and holds his free one to me. I take it and stand, us both walking down stairs and to the elevator. Gail smiles from the kitchen but its a sad kind of smile, that doesn't quite reach her eyes. She looks as if she has been crying and I know she's having a hard time seeing me this way. But I don't acknowledge her, I simply keep my head bowed low, holding Christians hand as we walk inside the elevator.

Once downstairs in the garage, Taylor is waiting by our car, the back seat door opened.

He nods at us both and has the same expression on his face Gail just had when he sees me. I ignore him as well and just slide into the backseat. Christian and him exchange a few hushed words and then he's in the backseat beside me.

That wall is once again back up between us, and I'm scooted as far away from Christian as possible in the backseat. He notices but remains quiet.

Once we arrive to plane, I'm half asleep and am now questioning us leaving. All I want right now is to curl up in bed and sleep. But once the car pulls up alongside the plane, Christian quickly gets out and holds the door for me. Knowing its too late to go back now, I get out of the car and Taylor hands Christian my bag.

"Have a nice trip Sir, Mam."

"Thank you Taylor, I'll keep you posted once I figure out how long we'll be there."

Taylor nods at him then heads back into the car.

I'm a little shocked that Taylors not coming with us, but I remain quiet, not wanting to get into it right now.

We walk up into the cab of the plane and as soon as we're on board a perky blonde girl that I haven't ever seen before greets us.

"Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey, so happy to have you two!" She smiles brightly.

I say nothing, just walk back to the bedroom area, ignoring them both as Christian begins to take to her and the pilot about take off.

I slide the door close behind me and sit on the bed in a daze.

A moment later and the door slides open, revealing Christian. "Ana, we have to take our seats for take off and then you can come back here and lay down."

I shake my head, "I'll be fine Christian." I lay down, stubbornly trying to prove my point.

"Ana, you're coming back up here if I have to carry you and we both know I will."

I glare at him, still not moving.

He cocks his head to the side challenging me. When I still don't move he begins walking toward me. Quickly I sit up, not wanting him carrying me. When I stand and walk pass him his expression looks a little offended that I wont be playful but I ignore it and head to my seat. Christian sits opposite of me and soon we're taking off and in the air.

The plane trip goes by fast because I fall asleep and when Christian shakes me awake we are already on land. I'm surprised that the landing didn't jolt me awake.

A car is waiting for us with no driver. Christian fishes out a pair of keys in his pant pocket and after placing my bags in the trunk we're on our way to his place.