Chapter Three! Two updates in one day, plus I busted out a history essay, I'm good!
Now it's time for two of my absolute favorite characters of all time!
Thanks to Shaz Black and ANessa Kedavra for adding this story to favorites/alerts!
Also thanks to 98 for reviewing. Next time sign in so I can answer you!
Double Disclaimer now 'cuz I forgot to do it last time: I don't own Harry Potter nor did I think of the rules all by myself.
~~~BB~~~
Rule 3: "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
~~~BB~~~
"Hey Fred," The second-year called to his red-headed brother across the breakfast table, seeing their captain coming towards them. "How's your breakfast?"
"Just BEECHY, George," his twin answered, ignoring the scowling Quidditch captain.
"It's PINE? Mine's got no flavor; it's like its WOOD!"
"That's it, laugh it up you two," Wood grinned evilly. "I've heard every possible joke about my name. Now, let's see how funny you two think you are during DOUBLE Quidditch practice. We start at one. See you there." Wood walked away, relishing the groans that the twins were emitting.
"Double practice!" Fred moaned, spearing another sausage on his fork. "He really has gone bloody mad! There's no way it's gonna do anything, either! Ever since Charlie left, Gryffindor can't find a seeker that isn't terrible! Hell, Mueller is the worst I've ever seen! I can't believe he ever got on the team! Slytherin's gonna cream us and Wood's gonna kill us in the process!"
"Unless…" George looked at his twin with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "There is some hope for the Slytherin match. We are better than last year, since we actually know which way a beater's bat is held unlike her predecessors, but there's still Mueller to deal with. Won't it be an awful shame if he can't play?"
"Ahhh," Fred grinned, leaning back in his chair. "If he had, for example a quaffle to the head. Besides, I do believe dear Oliver issued a challenge to us."
"Yes, dear brother," George smiled. "I do believe he has." They then proceeded to emit their evil mastermind laughs and the entire Gryffindor table backed away very slowly for fear of what the two young geniuses had planned.
~~~BB~~~
Tristan Mueller was having an off practice. His broom kept acting up, and the bloody snitch was nowhere in sight…Like usual. In his three years as seeker, he'd never caught the snitch. NEVER. It didn't help that it was raining grims and kneazles and Wood was yelling at him, again. How a bratty fourth year was named captain and not the amazing seventh year, he had no idea. Mueller never realized that the captain had to be talented, well-liked, and respected by the other members of the team. Areas that he was sorely lacking.
It started as an itch in the back of his head. Just an itch. But soon, the sensation began scratching on the insides of his brain. Eventually, as a veil descended over his eyes, he realized that he couldn't help it anymore.
"Hey, Wood!" Mueller yelled, causing the keeper to allow a goal. "You TRUNK!"
"Trunk?" one troublemaker whispered to the other who was talking into his wand.
"Suck, Fred, suck."
"Not your best, Georgie-boy. How about I have a go at it?"
"What did you say, Mueller?" Wood screamed. At this point, the entire team was watching the exchange between the two upper-classmen. Not one noticed the two mumbling twins flying in the corner of the pitch.
"You heard me, you great LUMBERJACK-ASS! I'm the seventh-year here! I'm taking over this team! So why don't you just LEAF! You're not ROOTED here!"
Wood was sitting on his broom in shock. This gave Mueller *coughthetwinscough* all the encouragement they needed to continue.
"Don't just sit there like you got a STICK in the ass! What do you have ACORNS for brains? Did the SQUIRREL decide that it was gonna stop turning the little gears in your head?" Mueller paused for a second before deciding to continue with one last jab. "Why are you here anyway? It's not like you're getting the girls. No one wants the WOOD in your pants."
Wood sat there for one second more before rushing at Mueller with a great, feral scream. The two broomsticks made contact and only one boy remained seated. As Mueller was toppling to the ground, his eyes lost the thin veil that was clouding them and he screamed one word into the air.
"WEASLEY!"
"I think you went a little too far on that last one, twin."
"I just might have, twin. I think we may have to run, er, fly."
"What makes you say that?"
"WEASLEY!" Wood roared, turning his burning eyes on them. "You have 2.65 second to explain!" George recovered from the death threat first.
"Well, you see, Wood."
"We thought that the team WOOD actually like to beat Slytherin this year."
"And we would have no chance if Mueller was playing Seeker 'cuz he WOOD have never caught the snitch, now WOODY?"
"So now, Mueller's out of the game,"
"Maybe the season,"
"And we stand a shot,"
"Which we won't if you take out both of the team's beaters,"
"Just like you did to our poor Seeker,"
"Which you won't,"
"Because not even you are that BARKING mad!"
"And we know you'll make the right DECIDUOUS."
Wood took in several deep breaths, contemplating what they said, and realized that they were right. He also realized what he was going to have to put up with for the next four years. It wasn't a nice thought.
When the twins figured out that they weren't about to be murdered on the spot, they decided that they had to push their luck.
"Now, dear Oliver," Fred started.
"WILLOW please tell us if we met your challenge?"
"Had you heard any of the Wood jokes that were said before today?"
Wood's scream was all the answer they needed as they flew away from him and right into their favorite teacher.
"Hello, Minnie," Fred smiled.
"Race you back to your office?" George grinned before taking off and leaving McGonagall in the dust.
~~~BB~~~
"Well, boys," McGonagall sighed, massaging her eyes. "Would you care to tell me how you managed to put the Gryffindor seeker and keeper in the hospital wing?"
"Wood's in the hospital wing, too?" George asked, puzzled.
"We thought that Mueller was the only one injured," Fred said.
"No, George," McGonagall sighed.
"I'm, Fred."
"Whatever! Because of you demons, Wood had a nervous breakdown and is now recovering in the hospital wing!"
"What a shame."
"He never should have issued that challenge."
"I know I'm going to regret this," McGonagall sighed, trying to banish the evil grins from her mind. "But what challenge?"
"Why this morning at breakfast,"
"Wood said that he had heard every joke that had to do with his name."
"Mueller must have taken this as a challenge,"
"And given Wood a nervous breakdown in the process."
"But us, being the innocent angels that we are,"
"Were practicing our beating skills the entire time the commotion was going on."
"We have to be at our best for the big game!"
"Yes," McGonagall smiled her own evil grin now, scaring the twins. "Too bad you won't be playing in it. I don't know how, but I know you two were the cause of this and as a result you will have detention with me this Saturday!"
"But Minnie!" Fred whined.
"Seriously, it wasn't us!"
"We don't know who would've done such a thing!"
~~~BB~~~
There you go! Shout outs to aliceinwonderland2000 since I took some of the Wood jokes from her when I ran out of ideas.
Chapter four should be up soon! It's Marauders time!
Please please please review! I'm not getting a lot and it makes me sad ;(
~Becca