Authors Note: Wow, theres nothing like getting motivated to write a chapter then by listening to depressing songs. But, on a happier note, it's holidays! Yay! Two weeks of doing nothing! And, to celebrate, I updated.
So enjoy!
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A Dark Secret: Chapter Three - Memory
:: :: "Why did you do it to my son? Why did you kill Snotlout?" :: ::
:: :: ::
Silence desended. All was still and quiet as Hiccup looked at Mrs. Jorgenson. Vikings eagerly listened, waiting with baitered breath. Each and everyone of them had asked this question and all had yet to hear an answer.
Hiccup sucked in a deep breath when he heard that name. Guilt and hate rose in equal measures as he remembered his deceased cousin.
Disgust followed when he recalled the feel of the warm blood running down his hands.
"What did he do to deserve this fate?" The female Jorgenson demanded. "What right did you have?"
Words, words spoken with hate and disgust and striking deep in the heart...
"Why did you kill my son?"
Hiccup squeezed his eyes shut. She wouldn't stop, she wouldn't shut up. Just like him.
Blood, warm blood, falling, trickling down and so so satisfying...
The door was opening, the forbidden memory slipping through a crack and all Hiccup could see was brown eyes and blood, blood on the blade and brown eyes fading and-
Hiccup tried desperately to shut the door that was slowly shoving its way forward. He didn't want to remember the memory that had started all this. He didn't want to remember that his cousin was gone and dead and never coming back and it was all because of him.
But despite his desperarion, nothing he did fully closed the door. And Snotlout's mother wasn't giving him a chance to.
"Well? Speak! Don't- Don't stand there and say nothing for yourself!"
That made Hiccup pause, even if it was for but a moment. Underneath all the anger she carried, Hiccup heard the sound of desperation and confusion, so faint Hiccup was sure no one else heard it.
If he were a Viking, he wouldn't have heard it, or even understood it. To Vikings, emotions other than rage were weak and useless. They were shoved to the deepest, darkest parts of your mind and left there to rot. But he wasn't a Viking.
He looked at Snotlout's mother and he saw not a fierce, angry warrior, but a mother. A mother who was lost and so desperately trying to blame him and stay mad at him so as not to feel the pain she felt.
"Urgh!" she cried on frustration when he didn't react. "You really are Useless."
:: :: "Wow, you really are Useless, arn't you?" :: ::
For a moment, her face fell and she looked just as lost and broken as he had guessed.
"Why?" Her voice was so small Hiccup would never have believed she had said it if he hadn't seen her lips move.
It was cold. The wind had increased. Its icy fingers hit his wound and Hiccup held back a groan of pain. His back had begun to turn numb. He couldn't feel the blood anymore.
The sun peaked over the clouds. Its golden rays fell onto the ground and did little to erase the cold that gripped Berk for nine months.
It was a normal day for Berk. Just like it had been that day. Hiccup remembered it well, despite his persistance to forget, the day where everything changed and his life took a turn for the worse.
:: :: It started out as a normal day. The winds were howling, most Vikings were sleeping, and it was freezing to death. The day was probably going to be as miserable as all the other days for the last several years. Still, that was to be expected. Their island wasn't located solidly on the Meridan of Misery for nothing.
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock had no idea this was the day where everything changed, and his life took a turn for the worst.
When his eyes opened, the sun was barely touching the horizon. Good. Not many Vikings were up at that time, prefering to get up after the sun had risen.
Hiccup was out of bed and scrambling around for his clothes before someone could say 'dragons'. It didn't take long for the sun to rise and the Viking teens would be up with it. Waking up early would be for nothing. And Hiccup really didn't want to get beaten today.
It had been this way ever since he was little. One day he had just stopped being his 'daddy's little boy' and all of a sudden he was 'Hiccup the Useless'. And if it wasn't bad enough, Snotlout had decided that Hiccup was his new punching bag. And of course, the rest of the Viking teens hadn't wanted to miss out on all the fun. Or maybe they didn't want to be outcasted from their little group. Either way, Tuffnut and Ruffnut, Astrid and even Fishlegs joined in on the beatings.
Waking up early never bothered him anymore. He'd been doing it for many years now. He didn't even need an alarm anymore. The only thing that bothered him was getting home late, after the teens had gone to bed.
It had become a routine for him. Wake up early, work in the forge, stay in the forest, go home, repeat. Sometimes, he even had to skip out on breakfast or dinner in his eagerness to be invisable.
Well, it certainly explains why he's so small.
Hiccup hurried down the stairs. A quick glance around told him his father was already gone. Probably gone off to attend his cheifly duties. No note from his father though.
Oh, who was he kidding. As if his father really cared about his son enough to tell him where he's gone. He could be halfway across the world for all he cared and he still wouldn't leave a note.
It didn't help his that his father was furious at him. Last nights raid had gone particually bad. The dragons had all escaped with food and most Viking's had lost or broken their weapons. And they all blamed him.
Ok, so he didn't blame them. But how was he supposed to know one bola could cause so much trouble?
Hiccup slipped outside. His eyes darted around, searching everywhere; he noted with relief that the teens weren't to be seen. He slouched, hoping to make himself even smaller and quickly walked towards the forge. He let his eyes roam; seeing everything but not looking at anything for longer then a second. It was a habit he picked up; he had to see everything. It helped with hiding from the teens.
"Nice of you to show up for work," Gobber the Belch greeted as he slipped inside. Hiccup snorted. The man couldn't talk: he himself was switching his hook to his hammer.
"I was starting to think you'd run off and left me to me poor old self," Gobber added.
Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Believe me, I was thinking about it."
"To bad, I was starting to think I'd be getting a more Viking-like apprentice."
One thing to be known about being the blacksmiths apprentice: you had to put up with his sarcasm and terrible jokes. Hiccup didn't take his words seriously. This was just how Gobber showed his affection. But they still stung a tiny bit. Hiccup was always getitng told how unviking-like he was. And all he ever wanted was to be one of them. To fit in.
Hiccup didn't reply and Gobber took his chance.
"Sword. Sharpened. Now."
Hiccup rolled his eyes and complied.
The rest of the day passed quickly. The two blacksmiths were repairing weapons without fault. The broken weapons had turned into a huge pile that was sure to take a few weeks to fix.
Hiccup also spent the day avoiding everyones glares, or giving out apologises that no one listened to.
They all blamed him. Hiccup cast his eyes downward. Ok, so he didn't really blame them. But, again, how was he supposed to know that one little bola could cause so much damage?
When Gobber declared work was done for the day, Hiccup headed straight for the forest. No angry villagers, no broken weapons and scolding heats. No disappointed and angry father. Just him and the trees.
A first, it was silence. Hiccup walked through the trees, thinking, and the trees swayed to an invisable rhythm.
Then the silence was distured as a branch was pushed back, followed by a crack as the branch hit human flesh. Hiccup glared angrily at the small, tiny branch he had pushed. His hand gingerly rubbed the red welt already forming on his right cheek.
Tears sprung his eyes no matter how many times he told himself Vikings don't feel pain. He gritted his teeth and glared at the offending branch sitting there innocently.
From somewhere behind him, someone laughed. Hiccup slowly turned his head, and his heart sank.
"Wow Useless, I think thats the first time someones been beaten by a stick."
"Snotlout. What do you want?"
"Oh, you know. I was just bored and I thought to myself, 'why not visit Hiccup, that's always fun."
Hiccup raised an eyebrow as he searched for a way out. "I don't think that fun is two sided."
Snotlout cracked his knuckles threatenly. Hiccup backed away.
"Are you really going to do this Snotlout? Here?"
"Well, theres no one here. It's just you and me." He grinned when he saw Hiccup looking around. "Oh, but don't you understand. This is how runts deserve to be treated. They arn't Vikings, and they never will be."
He stepped forward and Hiccup stepped back. His eyes fell on a rock wall with a small crack running down the middle. It was small, and Hiccup didn't know if it would work, but right now this was all he had.
Snotlout raised his fist and Hiccup stalled.
"Where are your goons Snotlout?"
His eyes narrowed. "I don't need them to give a lesson to a runt," he spat. "You'll learn to treat your superiors with respect!"
Hiccup could see the rage forming in Snotlouts eyes. That was his cue to go.
He ducked under Snotlouts punch and ran. The upside to being small.
The small crack was there, only fifteen feet away. He could do this, he was fast. Snotlouts puch swung aroind and Hiccup didn't duck in time. It glanced off his ear and he fell to the ground, one hand at his ear.
He looked back to see Snotlout running at him. His face was twisting into a snarl. Hiccup froze for the lwngth of a heartbeat and then he was scrambling to his feet, faster then he'd ever gone before. His hand was still at his ear and his feet were pounding on the ground and he could hear Snotlout behind him and the rock was getting closer and he could see the gap growing between the rock, big enough for him to escape Snotlout.
It was getting closer, ten feet now, seven, six, he was going to make it. Snotlout couldn't catch him now. He was almost there when he tripped.
Down he fell, his eyes still stuck on the rock that he had been so close to.
Snotlout came to a stop above him, and even through his panting managed a smirk as he looked down at the boy at his feet.
"Wow, you really are Useless, arn't you?"
Hiccup didn't bother to move. He curled up where he was and waited for Snotlout to get it over with.
Snotlout didn't disappoint. He felt the air shift and then a sharp pain exploded from his side. Snotlout raised his boot for another kick.
Again and again Snotlout reigned kicks upon the helpless boy. One after the other, no mercy.
Hiccup gasped and jerked and turned over and Snotlout smirked.
"See? You deserve this. We didn't want a runt. Especially as the Cheifs son."
Hiccup stiffened, and Snotlouts smirk grew wider. He'd hit a nerve and he knew it.
"Actually, how did you become a runt? Stoicks a Viking. One of the best. So how did his son become a skinny little fishbone?"
"Shut up," Hiccup muttered. Usually, Snotlouts insults he could take. But when he actually used his brain, things became harder.
"I bet it was the mother. Thats what my father says. If theres something wrong with the bitch, then theirs something wrong with the kid."
Hiccup froze. Never, in all these hears of bullying, had Snotlout mentioned his mother.
"My mother was a wonderful woman," he said through clenched teeth. Snotlout either didn't hear him, or ignored him. Now that he was thinking, he wasn't stopping.
"Unless... Maybe Stoick isn't actually your father."
Snotlout clapped loudly and grinned wickedly.
"Thats it! Stoicks true son wouldn't be all... This. Ha! I bet your mother was a little whore. Unfaithful she was."
The kicks had stopped by now. Snotlout was to busy thinking to notoce Hiccup get up, his face echoing the rage he felt.
"Stop! Enough."
And still Snotlout refused to shut up. After all, what harm could a hiccup do?
"And Stoick must know. You arn't worthy of our mighty Cheif. Val-"
And that was as far as he got. Hiccups fist smashed into his nose and a small crack was heard. Snotlout swore and blood dripped down his face.
Hiccup glanced down at his fist. That... Felt amazing. He could see why Snotlout did it so much. He wanted to punch him again.
Snotlout wiped the blood away and glared at Hiccup. Hiccup saw, quite clearly, the rage and murderous glint in his cousins eye. So mad he was, he failed to notice Hiccups own deadly rage and a hand that slid behind his waist to grip the small knife that Hiccup always carried.
"I'll get you for that, you useless little runt!"
Snotlout lunged at him. The next things that happened were a blur. All he could remember was a red rage, buidling up after several years of neglect.
The next thing he knew he was stepping away from Snotlout, his hands feeling somehow empty. The rage wasn't fully gone yet, but it was still there, settled deep in his stomach like a weight that was never going to go away.
Snotlout kneeled over, the look of surprise forever frozen on his face. His eyes were open, staring at Hiccup accusingly. Blood was spreading on his shirt and dripping down onto the floor. Following them, he saw his own hands were covered with the same scarlet red that littered the floor.
Snotlout wasn't moving. He wasn't breathing.
Through the horror, he felt a sickly feeling. And he recognised it. He felt it whenever he built something new, something that would let him be a Viking.
It was satisfation.
Bile rose in his throat and Hiccup stumbled away from his dead cousin and he stumbled away from the scene and away from the accusing stare of his cousin.
He blindly lurched towards the village, pushing his way through leaves and branches with his cousins still form in his mind.
Hiccup forgot about his knife, still buried in Snotlouts stomach. :: ::
As the memory faded, Hiccup blinked and looked sadly at Snotlout's mother.
"I regret what I did. But I am not sorry."
He lifted his head high. As he did so, he caught a look at the teens.
To think, he had dreamed of being accepted by every single one of them. Now... If they were anything like Snotlout, he was glad to be going. The teens looked the same as they had for the past several years, but diffferent at the same time.
Snotlouts death had opened his eyes. They didn't care for him and would rather see him dead even before he raised that dagger. What kind of people treated their own as horribly as they did? For something he couldn't control. He had never asked to be weak and small and clumsy. He had never asked to be different.
At his words, the villagers broke their silence and Hiccup decided it was time to leave before they killed him.
He stepped onto his small boat. He picked up the two oars and began to row. Immediently, the numbness ebbed and his back burned. He winced and almost stopped but he remembered his previous words.
He would not appear weak.
He would not appear weak.
He would not appear weak.
Strength coursed through him and Hiccup focused on his task of rowing. He ignored the Vikings watching as he left Berk waters for the last time. He ignored the burning pain his back felt with every move. He ignored the blood he felt in his back.
Row.
Forget about everything else.
Row. Row.
Forget the Vikings.
Row.
Forget the pain.
On and on, Hiccup repeated this to himself. He rowed for minutes, hours. It was only when Berk was a spot in the distance and the sun was due to set that he let himself put the oars down. His arms ached and his back burned. He was tired and hurt.
But he had to heal the wound on his back. If he didn't, people would see it and if they did, they would not allow him to enter their home.
But, more then that, he had to hide the constant reminder that caused him shame whenever he moved.
Groaning, he removed his shirt. He looked at it once it was in his hands. It was covered in blood.
Well, that was encouraging.
He ripped the already broken shirt and dipped it in the salt water. He was careful not to let the blood in the water. That would attract predators he was not able to fight.
He reached back and gently jabbed the wet cloth at his back. The wound stung and Hiccup hissed through his teeth. Carefully he wrapped the ruins of his shirt around his back where he guessed the mark was. He wondered what the shape was.
The waves gently lapped the sides of the boat and Hiccup felt his tired eyes close. He knew the waves would take him farther away from Berk and into the unknown. He didn't have to worry about the punishment that would be penaltised if he returned. Hiccup blinked slowly.
He was so tired...
There was no danger. It was just him and miles of empty ocean. There was no storm approaching and the weather looked calm. The moon was rising and he was so weak... So sore... So tired.
He curled into a ball to stop he cold. With nothing to do, he closed his eyes as he listened to the soothing sounds of the ocean.
Five minutes later, he was asleep.
:: :: ::
Well, how was it? How did I do capturing Snotlouts character? How did I pull off the death? I'll probably go into more detail in further chapters.
So, that's chapter three. Hope you enjoyed. If you did, I'd appreciate it if you let a review. If you didn't, I'd still like one anyway. Stay tuned for the fourth chapter :)
Replies To Reviews:
Shooting Sky Star Saint: Thank you. I really wanted it to be dark and yet still... Hiccup. I hope it worked XD
Guest: Pretty much, yeah. But, in darkness there is always light, and light will only grow stronger the longer it lasts. The question is, how long will the light shine?
EmmaLennyEddie: Don't worry, I promise I won't leave this story. I just have trouble updating because of technology and damn laziness. Things will go smoother when I get my own computer, but that won't happen until the end of October... I think.
EmeraldCrater: Thank you. I love hearing peoples thoughts on my story. You're right, I don't want to spoil but since you asked so nicely, I will say this: Not all heroes get happy ever afters. I don't think you'll truely get this until later on, but yeah.
Diveneur: Thank you! I love it when people compliment my story XD
Fanfictionmakermachine: Haha. Don't worry, I have something great in mind. Or at least, I think its great. I hope it is... But, yeah he killed Snotlout. I admit, having him kill Astrid would be pretty intersting. But, that would be very hard to pull off. One of my first thoughts on this story was 'how the hell do I pull this off?' And I really don't think it would be believeable if Astrid was killed. But it would make an intersting read. But what do you think of the new summary?
Everyone Else: Thanks for the great reviews! They really made me get off my butt and get this done :)
~Lei' Raeyna