Limited Paradise

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or any of its characters.

Important reply to reviews: I don't remember who exactly wrote what, and I can't access the Internet at this exact moment in time, but I do know I got some reviews about the sex scenes (by the way, there aren't any in this chapter). Anyway, I appreciate the constructive criticism, but I am very much female and very much a virgin. So, I really have no idea what sex is like. The only reference materials I have are yaoi manga (which really isn't good reference material), other fanfiction, and gay romance novels (both of which are usually written by females).

Although I have gay friends, most of them aren't really willing to go into that much detail about their sexual lives, and I'm not one to force that kind of awkward conversation. However, very fortunately, just this week, I found out that one of my friends was very willing to peruse my gay sex scenes and tell me what to fix / how to make them better. So, hopefully, any future gay sex scenes I write will be free of any innocently / ignorantly made mistakes.

Now, please enjoy the fanfiction written by yours truly.

When Kyon awoke the next morning, he knew something was seriously wrong. He felt it in the very depths of the soul, but he didn't know what, and he didn't know why. As he got out of bed and slowly began getting ready for school, realization slowly dawned upon his sleep-clouded mind. Kyon felt as though he had lost a piece of his soul. There was a large void in his heart that should not have been there. He couldn't recall anything that had happened to warrant such a feeling. Lately, it had been business as usual with his life. Get up, take a shower, go to school, S.O.S Brigade meeting with Haruhi, Yuki, Mikuru, and Saya, go home, eat, do homework, mess around, and go to bed. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

So, why did he feel as though there was now something fundamentally wrong with his life? How had he been perfectly fine, even happy, yesterday and have his world crashing down around him today with no reason (good or otherwise)? Somehow, he had lost something extremely important, maybe even the most important thing in his life, without being even remotely aware of it. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it. Contemplating when he couldn't remember anything would get him nowhere. So, in true Kyon fashion, he resigned himself to this fact and headed out, skipping breakfast because he really wasn't hungry.

"KYOOOOOOOOON!" a voice shouted at him as soon as he stepped on campus. He turned toward the call to see Saya running toward him, hand waving excitedly, curly green hair blowing chaotically about. Her red eyes were alight mischief that gave him the feeling that he was about to be pulled into one of her many schemes.

Ever since she had transferred, the annoyingly cheerful girl had attached herself to him, and she'd dragged him into every single disastrous situation she set up to keep Haruhi entertained. Far more open than any book, Saya had told him that she was on esper the day they met. He often thought that she had no secrets. She was always annoying Haruhi, never listening to a single word that other girl said. But this was apparently acceptable because it kept her precious creator amused. Often, Kyon found himself wishing for a quieter, more secretive, less hyper club member, and whenever he did, he felt a pang in his heart.

Anyway, he stopped and waited for the girl who began talking excitedly about her latest plan. He didn't even need to listen, just walk next to her and nod periodically. Whatever she was planning, he was going to be dragged into it soon enough, and he'd learn about it then. As they walked, his mind returned to further contemplating the supreme feelings of loss and how being there with Saya just felt wrong somehow. There was a thought, an understanding, just on the edges of his mind. He knew more than he thought, but every time he was about to grasp it, it just danced away. However, at least one realization would dawn soon enough.

"What the hell did you do this time?" were the first words Kyon spoke to Haruhi that day. The second he'd laid eyes on her in the classroom, he just knew that his feelings were her fault. Somehow, she'd managed to take away the most important thing in his life.

"What are you talking about?" the brown-haired girl asked, sounding genuinely confused. To her knowledge, neither her nor Saya's latest stunts had negatively affected any of Kyon's friends. So, what did he have to be angry about?

"What you took from me," Kyon growled low, leaning closer to her so that their nosy classmates would not overhear. "I've put up with a lot for you, but I won't just sit by quietly when it feels like my soul has been torn asunder for no reason. I know you did something, took something from me, and I want you to undo it or give it back."

"I haven't stolen anything of yours," Haruhi growled back, much more loudly than he had. Her volume attracted a lot of attention, but the conversation and curiosity was put on hold as the homeroom teacher entered the classroom.

Classes and teachers came and went as they normally did, but the breaks in between were eerily silent. Haruhi stared at Kyon, expecting him to speak first, but he remained obstinately silent. As far as he was concerned, that conversation was over and none would start again until Haruhi returned whatever had split apart his soul. She was powerful and mostly unaware of it, and he couldn't force her to do anything, but there was one thing he could do. For whatever reason, Haruhi had singled Kyon out as her favorite, and she wanted to possess him. Well, he could take himself away from her. Not entirely, of course, he didn't want the world to end. He would sit behind her in school, attend those God-awful brigade meetings and allow himself to be dragged around, but he wouldn't speak a single syllable to the girl. Maybe the silent treatment was childish, but it would work on someone like Haruhi, and that was the point.

As lunchtime rolled around, Kyon decided he was tired of the stared and escaped the classroom as soon as class was dismissed. He saw a certain red-haired but avoided acknowledging her when he noticed that they were heading in the same direction: toward the roof. He slowed down to put some distance between them so she wouldn't notice them and followed her. He didn't know why he did it; he just did. Once he climbed the last few stairs, he noticed the door was still open and that Saya, Yuki, and Mikuru were having what seemed like a private conversation. Fighting the oddly overwhelming urge to eavesdrop, Kyon turned around to leave the way he came until he heard his name.

"How much do you think Kyon has noticed?" Saya asked, her voice was calm but spoke of restrained anger. "Because of that idiot's actions, I'm not completely sure how I'm supposed to act around him. This would have been so much easier if that idiot had just followed orders."

"Kyon only knows his own feelings, the only thing Haruhi couldn't deliberately erase," Yuki answered so quietly that Kyon almost couldn't hear her. "He also knows she is the cause, but not why or how. You did fine this morning. Continue to do so unless you want your night job to become exponentially harder."

"Damn," Saya said. "I always knew her mood swings were dangerous, but I didn't know that one little thing not going her way could cause her powers to spiral out of control so quickly."

"It's not always like that," Yuki commented. "Normally, her most powerful mood swings are in some way related to Kyon."

"And I bet that idiot knew it too," the green-haired girl's eyes narrowed into slits and she glared at something far off in the distance. "Oh, that idiot's lucky he's not dead right now."

"Don't call him an idiot!" Mikuru squeaked out in that shy voice of her she usually used when trying to defend herself from Haruhi's onslaught. Obviously, this time it was used to defend someone else. "He was doing his best. It's not easy to ignore what you heart wants most in this world. He tried to keep his feeling bottled up, but when he found on Kyon-kun felt the same way, he couldn't stop himself anymore."

"That's beside the point, though," Saya half-growled. However, Kyon had a feeling that it wasn't aimed at Mikuru. "He knew what was at risk, and he completely ignored all of that to follow feelings that were both selfish and stupid."

"There's nothing stupid about love," Mikuru cried out as she began literally crying.

"Haruhi's too powerful for any of us to take those kinds of risks," Saya stated matter-of-factly.

"Maybe you're right," Mikuru argued through her tears. "But even if she can change everything else, I'm glad she can't alter his feelings."

"You know," Saya said with an evil-looking smirk. "I have a feeling things would have changed even if she wasn't quite so powerful. Even as a normal human, she's persistent enough to have made him disappear anyway. So, you see, you're love's worth it theory doesn't hold much water."

"It doesn't matter what Haruhi does," Mikuru refused to give in. Apparently, she had quite the backbone when standing up to someone who couldn't destroy the world and was defending her friends. "Love is always worth the risk. He knew that, and he was right."

"That's why I told him to be careful," Yuki spoke softly, surprising everyone who was listening.

"Are you telling me you support this recklessness?" Saya shrieked in disbelief, backing away from the redhead and stalking toward the silverhead.

"Not entirely," Yuki admitted. "Her anger and desire toward him can cause unpredictable results. Although, we were lucky this time, because she focused all her concentration on getting the biggest threat out of life, we might not get so lucky again. But I can't bring myself to fault him for what he did. I, myself, do not understand love, but I do know that humans can't live without it. Saya, your anger is understandable. But you must understand that Mikuru's caring and concern is as well."

After that, the green-haired girl could no longer hold her anger in check and began ranting like a mad woman. At this point, Kyon knew their conversation wasn't over, but he didn't want or need to hear anymore. Whatever happened this time wasn't an accidental consequence of Haruhi's boredom. She had deliberately taking away the most important person in his life (apparently a him, if that conversation was anything to go by, but that wasn't the point), and she didn't even have the courtesy to remember what she had done. No, her life was perfectly fine now, and she was more than happy to remain ignorant of what she'd done. Who cared if his life was completely miserable because there was a giant gaping hole in his heart? Certainly not Haruhi. Well now, he was pissed. And two could play at that game.

Leaving as unnoticed by the three girls as he came, Kyon went straight back to the classroom and sat down, glaring out the window. He locked his mind in its own little world as he thought about his options. And long before the final class of the day was over, he had made his decision. Screw the world. Screw the supernatural humans that gathered around him. Screw Haruhi's anger. Screw Haruhi: He would a lot of things, but putting up with this was not one of them. Kyon wanted his life back, whatever that meant, and so after school, he marched straight out of the classroom and headed straight home without a moment's hesitation.

And the following day, he did the same thing. He ignored Haruhi completely, politely declined Saya's requests for his help, exchanged greetings with Mikuru and Yuki, and went straight home after school. And Kyon never broke this routine. He felt sorry for the worry he was causing Mikuru and sympathetic toward Saya, who informed him daily of the increasing intensity of the nightly enclosed spaces. He also felt genuinely worried about the harm the Shinjin could cause the espers, but he wasn't worried that much about Saya, so he couldn't figure out where that worry came from or where (who) it was directed to. However, none of that truly mattered, because it didn't change anything.

Briefly, he had even considered transferring schools, but it was never really an option. For one, it would remove him from Haruhi's life entirely, and that might anger her enough to destroy the entire freaking world. Or, she might find a new favorite, and he'd be stuck feeling like he was incomplete forever. One might see this as a possibility even if he was around, but Kyon knew better. More than anything else, Haruhi hated to lose. So, as long as he was around, she definitely would not find a new favorite. Another thing, even if he transferred, she could follow him to his new school, and he didn't even want to think about where that could lead. So, he continued attending North High.

Anyway, Kyon's, for lack of a better word, rebellion lasted for more than two months. He would have liked to say that during that time he never hesitated in continuing, never thought for one single moment about changing his mind about what he was doing, but that would have been a lie. Just a little over halfway through his self-imposed separation from Haruhi, Kyon had honestly considered giving up. His feeling hadn't faded and neither had his determination. What was fading was his hope. Well over a month passed, and nothing happened, nothing changed. It almost seemed like nothing ever would. However, something happened to cause his determination to quadruple in size and for him to decide to not ever change his decision on this separation even if nothing changed until the day he died.

That day, Kyon was lying in his room feeling pretty hopeless, having no idea what else he could do. Haruhi was obviously annoyed with him seeing as she was constantly glaring at the back of his head during class. And she also wanted him back seeing as she still tried talking to him everyday and sent her brigade members after him when he refused to respond. However, the brown-haired male could tell that she was still holding firm in her belief that she hadn't taken anything from him, and so, nothing was changing. As he lie in bed, he desperately wished for some sort of sign, something he could cling to besides his own feelings, something more substantial than an argument between three of his fellow brigade members on the school rooftop.

After a very long while, Kyon felt the urge to go dig through his closet. This confused him beyond all belief, and he ignored it for a while, or at least he tried to. But the feeling kept nagging at him and just wouldn't go away. Finally, he gave in and got off his bed, figuring actively doing something, no matter how odd, was better than sitting around doing nothing but feeling sorry for himself. When he opened the door into the messy abyss that was his closet, he decided to just start cleaning it, surmising he would eventually find what it was he was looking for. And he was right.

When he was almost entirely done with his closet, Kyon came across a shirt he knew wasn't his and that he couldn't recall ever seeing in his life. However, when he held it closer and breathed in a completely unfamiliar yet somehow familiar scent, his heart started skipping beats, butterflies fluttered around his stomach, and a warm tingling sensation spread throughout his entire body. Instantly, he somehow knew that this shirt belonged to the "him" Mikuru, Saya, and Yuki had talked about. And if something so simple as a shirt and scent could make him feel this happy, Kyon knew it was something worth fighting for.

Haruhi too, had felt conflicting emotions during this time. Over the course of Kyon's rebellion, her emotions had fluctuated from anger to longing back to anger to determination to confusion to hope to desperation. For whatever reason, life just seemed incredibly boring and awkward without having a certain sullen teen to drag around all the time. She'd never imagined that the brown-haired teen's anger could last so long. She just had to get Kyon back, and she didn't care whether it was under her conditions or his anymore. And she knew what his condition was, she just didn't know how to fulfill it.

Kyon wanted her to return something she had apparently stolen from him. The only problem was she didn't know what the hell she was supposed to return. The only thing she'd ever taken from him was time, which wasn't really returnable, and lunch money, which he always complained but never really truly cared about. Feeling angry, confused, and desperate simultaneously, Haruhi went to bed one night, and the unconscious, all-powerful part of her being decided to acquiesce to whatever it would take to bring Kyon back to her side.

A/N: Hello and welcome to the end of another chapter of Limited Paradise. I'm sorry it took so long, but life (and college) happens. Thankfully, spring break exists. Anyway, you all probably noticed, but it is quite a bit shorter than the other two. Although I did have the entire fanfiction written out on paper a while ago, I realized it needed serious, serious revising when I reread what I had written, and I didn't have the time to do so until now. However, I can't spend all of spring break revising all of it, and the length of the original chapter was extended somewhat, so I decided to break it into two. That way, I can actually publish something before, I don't know, summer. Again, thanks for reading and as always…

I love reviewers, but I do have a request. I would really love for someone to seriously critique my work. It doesn't have to stop at constructive criticism. I'd love for someone to really pick apart my work and tell me every little thing they hated, what needs to be improved, and what parts of my writing they liked best. Believe me when I say I love all reviews, and it's really nice to know people appreciate my work. However, I'm a far cry from being perfect, and there's always room to improve. Also, if I can get better, I can give better fan fiction to my readers. Anyway, thanks again for reading this fan fiction and hopefully you seriously considered my request.