CHAPTER TWO
WARNING: Lime sections. Angst.
"Those destined for each other in marriage, though a thousand li [miles] apart are yet lead by one thread."
Chinese proverb
***************************************************************
Cold…it's so cold…the cold pierces my lungs like a thousand knives…
I can't breathe…I can't, I can't, I can't…Icantcantcantcantcant breathe…ICANTBREATHE!
HELP ME!
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!
No..I can't depend on anyone…
They've all left me…All alone…in the cold…
There's noone who wants to help me.
*It's all your fault!*
That's right I don't deserve to have anyone to help me. I killed her! It's all my fault!
I want to die too Mama…Mama, mama, mama, mama…
"Come with me, my beloved…"
What's this voice? This gentle voice?
"You want to live."
No I want to die.
"If you do not want to live you will not live. When faced with the power of winter the power of death only the inner fire will prevent your meeting Wu Ch'ang.
(NOTE: Wu Ch'ang is a demon sent by the King of Hades to collect dead souls and take them to Hades)
I want to die.
"You want to live."
I want to die.
"You want to live."
I want to die.
"You want to live. You fear death."
I don't fear death. I threw myself in this lake remember?
"Then why did you cry for help in the beginning?"
…
"When a man dies he becomes a ghost which, when perceived by men, frightens them. When a ghost dies it becomes a chi which terrifies the ghost. To be born mortal is to fear death."
Who are YOU to tell me what to think?
"Someone who has known you for a long long time. For thousands of years, I have waited for you to be reborn, my beloved…"
WHAT?!
"Remember…Though Fate is decided by Heaven, one must first work out what Heaven is. Even though Fate may be cruel, whether you are happy or not is determined entirely by yourself."
Stop being so obtuse. Say what you mean.
"Chuckle I remember that you liked arguing with me...But that was something *you* said to me. I remember that out of the four human sisters, you were the strongest, the most determined, the one who made all the plans and strategies. When I was worried about you you always said, 'Don't worry. I don't plan to die just yet. An ordinary death is just too humiliating. If I'm going to go out, it's going to be a death that lights up the heavens!' And it was. " At this last point the voice became sad.
Huh?
"Sorry. I was just thinking of better times...Sleep now and dream…"
So tired…I can't keep my eyes open…What is this fluttering movement over my forehead? It feels as if someone is stroking me with a frozen hand…and whispering in my ear…
"The time has finally come to fight. Being born first of my brothers I am the first to fight. But even I cannot see the outcome of this battle…My beloved, I've missed you so much…"
********************************************************************
"Takiko! Takiko!" Suzuno's screams echo through the forest. Being blind I know that she has no hope of finding me, though through the water I can hear the dim sounds of her crashing through the rough stones at the edge of the lake.
The lake I threw myself into. Where I want to die.
But I can't die now. I don't remember why but I feel as if there is someone who cares for me…A green light in my mind, a man with a gentle voice yet a frozen hand.
Suzuno. So brave I remember seeing you on that day screaming and screaming, clawing at your eyes, as blood ran down your cheeks, yet after that one time I've never heard you cry or even complain. Can someone so good really care about someone as useless and bad as me? Does that mean that I am not that bad? Yet everyone but you and someone else who I can't seem to remember say that I am. Even my Father.
Even Father hates me. Blames me.
"Takiko!" Suzuno sobbed. "Please Takiko, don't die! Don't do this to yourself!"
That voice…Suzano..It's all probably just in my mind, but for now, even an imaginary hope is enough.
I break out of the water.
********************************************************************************
I expect to seen Suzano as I remember her from that day I turned twelve but all I can see is white, white, white. White death. I am buried beneath the snow. I remember now, back when I was twelve and drowning in the lake, when I wanted to die I heard a voice that told me it loved me, had loved me for thousands of years. A voice I never heard before but which I seemed to instinctively recognise. I'd forgotten all about it till now, when at the age of fifteen I have somehow ended up buried beneath a whole lot of snow. Its amazing what memories stressful situations bring up isn't it? I would be marvelling at it right now if it wasn't for the fact that I am currently freezing to death, not to mention suffocating underneath all this snow.
Isn't it funny? I was once suffocating under liquid water and now I'm suffocating under solid water. It seems that water and I are natural enemies.
*Panic*
Wait a moment. Let us review this situation. *&!* I am about to die!
*Panic*
Let me out!
Letmeoutletmeout..But…
Do I really want to live?
Suddenly I do. Suddenly I panic again. I want to live! I want to see Suzano! I want to hear that wonderful soothing voice in the green light again!
I claw at the snow, trying to dig myself out, but its hopeless. The more I move, the more snow falls into the air pocket that I'm in.
LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT!
I feel a great surge of energy go through me and out of me, radiating into the surrounding area.
I want to see Father…
Do I? Do I really?
Doesn't Father hate me? Doesn't everyone hate me? If everyone hates you doesn't it mean that you are bad?
I want to see Father.
I don't want to see Father.
I want? What do I want? It's so hard to think now. My eyes are so heavy. But now I don't feel afraid. When I think of Father I come to a decision. I want to die. I want to die.
The voice said that though Heaven determines your fate you must first work out what Heaven is. He wanted me to live so I suppose he would be disappointed in me now. But I wish I could tell him there can be happiness in death too.
The white light approaches me. I see him. The voice. It must be him!
So I smile. For him. My first true smile since my mother died. For I am at last happy.
He dug through the snow frantically. He had been meditating in the forest when he had felt an incredible amount of chi go past him. The taste of the chi was oddly familiar, bringing with it memories of the past. There was only one other person besides himself he knew who had chi which tasted like this, but somehow he knew that the chi was not his.
Someone was dying, someone who he didn't know but who was very important to him. Though the thought of encountering this chi again unnerved him he was somehow driven by a compulsion to go…to find the source…and help her…somehow he knew it was a her.
Tan Emtato paused briefly in his struggles to wipe some sweat from his forehead. He lifted the patch over his right eye to reveal a glowing green character, "To", the ladle, one of the luckiest of the 28 constellations. Inwardly he snorted in disgust as he remembered *that* particular description in the religious texts. 'Inaccurate hardly begins to describe it,' he thought.
It was unfortunate that this was so far into winter. The snow was no longer light and powdery but thick and compact, making it much harder to dig through. But finally the last of the snow fell away to reveal the girl...
Emtato drew back instinctively. She was glowing green. Glowing green. Not again. Please not again. With all the self-poise he had obtained in the last few years, Emtato managed to stop himself from bolting away. Getting up calmly off the forest floor he prepared to walk away.
If she died, so be it. He did NOT want to get mixed up in this ever again.
Then she obtained her eyes. Oh gods, it was the most beautiful shade of green he had ever seen. He was reminded of jade, the stone of longevity. Though it was revered he had always thought of it as the saddest stone. Because of its powers to preserve and protect against decay and rot, it was often locked away into tombs and graves where it was doomed to lay for eternity, its beauty forever intact as if encased in ice, but with no eyes but those of the dead to see it.
Then she smiled. It was the same smile that he had seen only once before, on another woman's face, and suddenly he could no longer walk away.
He gathered her into his arms. He couldn't let her die!
************************************************************************************************
"You're beautiful," Takiko whispered as she stared at the face in front of her.
"You told me that I should find my own happiness but there can be happiness in death as well. So I am happy dying."
A tear rolled down her angel's cheek. Lazily Takiko followed the trail of the tear until she found its source.
"Why is your eye glowing green?" she asked wonderingly.
Then as if in a dream she felt soft warm lips attach to her cold frozen ones. Suddenly she no longer felt cold, but very warm. Extremely warm.
As if in a dream, she wrapped her arms around her lover's neck and returned his kiss.
*****************************************************************************************************
With tears rolling down his cheeks, Emtato put all his chi into the kiss.
'Don't die, please don't die, don't die, don't die,' the mantra ran through his head as he poured more and more of his lifeforce into the dying girl.
As he expended more and more of his lifeforce, reality wavered and shifted into a dream.
He could feel their chis rubbing against each other, the patterns fitting into each other perfectly. Is this the reason why he was feeling so warm?
So unbelievably warm.
His lover's arms encased him and her sweet mouth beckoned him to follow, which he did willingly.
***************************************************************************************************
Ah, she felt his arms wrapping around her body and pressing her to him as his lips hardened the kiss. Unwilling to be defeated she returned the favour, causing him to gasp inside his throat. With a low moan, he dragged his mouth away from hers. Grabbing her left hand he rubbed his cheek against the soft skin on the back of her hand. She brought her remaining hand up to his face. Tracing his lips she trailed her fingers up to his right eye which was glowing even brighter. Taking a strand of his hair she ran it over his glowing eye where it immediately stuck to the sweat on his face.
Noticing the patch which was raised onto his forehead she smiled, "It's beautiful, why do you hide your eye like that?"
For a moment he shook his head. He knew that there was something important about that eye but for some reason he couldn't remember. It was as if his universe had started the moment he first kissed his lover. From the look in her eyes he could tell that she felt the same way. All that they knew was this moment.
He stared at her for long time, wonder in his eyes, before smiling and kissing her cheek. It was just a feather-peck but she gasped as she felt a shock of his chi go through her. It was…pleasurable…did he know? She glanced at his face. From the smirk on it seemed that he did.
Grabbing his shoulders she pushed him to the ground, changing their positions so that SHE was on top. Then cupping his face in her hands she proceeded to kiss him.
"Get away from him you witch!"
Both Takiko and Emtato stared in shock at the sight of the young man glaring at the girl, his arrow aimed straight at her heart. They then stared at each other in shock.
'What the gods was I doing with this man? I don't even know him!'
'What the gods was I doing with this girl? I just met her!"
Emtato turned to his friend. "Prince Chamka!"
"I told you to get away you chi-stealing Boucchu witch!" the young man yelled, releasing the arrow in his bow.
NOTE: Remember that the part of Soi's magic that involved her ahem interacting with Nakago was called Bouchhu magic. So does this mean that I've chosen Hikitsu to be Takiko's love interest? Well lets just say I plan to continue in the grand old Watasse tradition of tangled romances…Bwahahahahahah!
BTW some of those quotes I made up myself others I got from "Chinese Religion seen through The Proverb." By C.H. Plopper. Work out which one is which! (Um, the good ones come from the book and the corny ones are yours? Oh shut up!)
WARNING: Lime sections. Angst.
"Those destined for each other in marriage, though a thousand li [miles] apart are yet lead by one thread."
Chinese proverb
***************************************************************
Cold…it's so cold…the cold pierces my lungs like a thousand knives…
I can't breathe…I can't, I can't, I can't…Icantcantcantcantcant breathe…ICANTBREATHE!
HELP ME!
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!
No..I can't depend on anyone…
They've all left me…All alone…in the cold…
There's noone who wants to help me.
*It's all your fault!*
That's right I don't deserve to have anyone to help me. I killed her! It's all my fault!
I want to die too Mama…Mama, mama, mama, mama…
"Come with me, my beloved…"
What's this voice? This gentle voice?
"You want to live."
No I want to die.
"If you do not want to live you will not live. When faced with the power of winter the power of death only the inner fire will prevent your meeting Wu Ch'ang.
(NOTE: Wu Ch'ang is a demon sent by the King of Hades to collect dead souls and take them to Hades)
I want to die.
"You want to live."
I want to die.
"You want to live."
I want to die.
"You want to live. You fear death."
I don't fear death. I threw myself in this lake remember?
"Then why did you cry for help in the beginning?"
…
"When a man dies he becomes a ghost which, when perceived by men, frightens them. When a ghost dies it becomes a chi which terrifies the ghost. To be born mortal is to fear death."
Who are YOU to tell me what to think?
"Someone who has known you for a long long time. For thousands of years, I have waited for you to be reborn, my beloved…"
WHAT?!
"Remember…Though Fate is decided by Heaven, one must first work out what Heaven is. Even though Fate may be cruel, whether you are happy or not is determined entirely by yourself."
Stop being so obtuse. Say what you mean.
"Chuckle I remember that you liked arguing with me...But that was something *you* said to me. I remember that out of the four human sisters, you were the strongest, the most determined, the one who made all the plans and strategies. When I was worried about you you always said, 'Don't worry. I don't plan to die just yet. An ordinary death is just too humiliating. If I'm going to go out, it's going to be a death that lights up the heavens!' And it was. " At this last point the voice became sad.
Huh?
"Sorry. I was just thinking of better times...Sleep now and dream…"
So tired…I can't keep my eyes open…What is this fluttering movement over my forehead? It feels as if someone is stroking me with a frozen hand…and whispering in my ear…
"The time has finally come to fight. Being born first of my brothers I am the first to fight. But even I cannot see the outcome of this battle…My beloved, I've missed you so much…"
********************************************************************
"Takiko! Takiko!" Suzuno's screams echo through the forest. Being blind I know that she has no hope of finding me, though through the water I can hear the dim sounds of her crashing through the rough stones at the edge of the lake.
The lake I threw myself into. Where I want to die.
But I can't die now. I don't remember why but I feel as if there is someone who cares for me…A green light in my mind, a man with a gentle voice yet a frozen hand.
Suzuno. So brave I remember seeing you on that day screaming and screaming, clawing at your eyes, as blood ran down your cheeks, yet after that one time I've never heard you cry or even complain. Can someone so good really care about someone as useless and bad as me? Does that mean that I am not that bad? Yet everyone but you and someone else who I can't seem to remember say that I am. Even my Father.
Even Father hates me. Blames me.
"Takiko!" Suzuno sobbed. "Please Takiko, don't die! Don't do this to yourself!"
That voice…Suzano..It's all probably just in my mind, but for now, even an imaginary hope is enough.
I break out of the water.
********************************************************************************
I expect to seen Suzano as I remember her from that day I turned twelve but all I can see is white, white, white. White death. I am buried beneath the snow. I remember now, back when I was twelve and drowning in the lake, when I wanted to die I heard a voice that told me it loved me, had loved me for thousands of years. A voice I never heard before but which I seemed to instinctively recognise. I'd forgotten all about it till now, when at the age of fifteen I have somehow ended up buried beneath a whole lot of snow. Its amazing what memories stressful situations bring up isn't it? I would be marvelling at it right now if it wasn't for the fact that I am currently freezing to death, not to mention suffocating underneath all this snow.
Isn't it funny? I was once suffocating under liquid water and now I'm suffocating under solid water. It seems that water and I are natural enemies.
*Panic*
Wait a moment. Let us review this situation. *&!* I am about to die!
*Panic*
Let me out!
Letmeoutletmeout..But…
Do I really want to live?
Suddenly I do. Suddenly I panic again. I want to live! I want to see Suzano! I want to hear that wonderful soothing voice in the green light again!
I claw at the snow, trying to dig myself out, but its hopeless. The more I move, the more snow falls into the air pocket that I'm in.
LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT!
I feel a great surge of energy go through me and out of me, radiating into the surrounding area.
I want to see Father…
Do I? Do I really?
Doesn't Father hate me? Doesn't everyone hate me? If everyone hates you doesn't it mean that you are bad?
I want to see Father.
I don't want to see Father.
I want? What do I want? It's so hard to think now. My eyes are so heavy. But now I don't feel afraid. When I think of Father I come to a decision. I want to die. I want to die.
The voice said that though Heaven determines your fate you must first work out what Heaven is. He wanted me to live so I suppose he would be disappointed in me now. But I wish I could tell him there can be happiness in death too.
The white light approaches me. I see him. The voice. It must be him!
So I smile. For him. My first true smile since my mother died. For I am at last happy.
He dug through the snow frantically. He had been meditating in the forest when he had felt an incredible amount of chi go past him. The taste of the chi was oddly familiar, bringing with it memories of the past. There was only one other person besides himself he knew who had chi which tasted like this, but somehow he knew that the chi was not his.
Someone was dying, someone who he didn't know but who was very important to him. Though the thought of encountering this chi again unnerved him he was somehow driven by a compulsion to go…to find the source…and help her…somehow he knew it was a her.
Tan Emtato paused briefly in his struggles to wipe some sweat from his forehead. He lifted the patch over his right eye to reveal a glowing green character, "To", the ladle, one of the luckiest of the 28 constellations. Inwardly he snorted in disgust as he remembered *that* particular description in the religious texts. 'Inaccurate hardly begins to describe it,' he thought.
It was unfortunate that this was so far into winter. The snow was no longer light and powdery but thick and compact, making it much harder to dig through. But finally the last of the snow fell away to reveal the girl...
Emtato drew back instinctively. She was glowing green. Glowing green. Not again. Please not again. With all the self-poise he had obtained in the last few years, Emtato managed to stop himself from bolting away. Getting up calmly off the forest floor he prepared to walk away.
If she died, so be it. He did NOT want to get mixed up in this ever again.
Then she obtained her eyes. Oh gods, it was the most beautiful shade of green he had ever seen. He was reminded of jade, the stone of longevity. Though it was revered he had always thought of it as the saddest stone. Because of its powers to preserve and protect against decay and rot, it was often locked away into tombs and graves where it was doomed to lay for eternity, its beauty forever intact as if encased in ice, but with no eyes but those of the dead to see it.
Then she smiled. It was the same smile that he had seen only once before, on another woman's face, and suddenly he could no longer walk away.
He gathered her into his arms. He couldn't let her die!
************************************************************************************************
"You're beautiful," Takiko whispered as she stared at the face in front of her.
"You told me that I should find my own happiness but there can be happiness in death as well. So I am happy dying."
A tear rolled down her angel's cheek. Lazily Takiko followed the trail of the tear until she found its source.
"Why is your eye glowing green?" she asked wonderingly.
Then as if in a dream she felt soft warm lips attach to her cold frozen ones. Suddenly she no longer felt cold, but very warm. Extremely warm.
As if in a dream, she wrapped her arms around her lover's neck and returned his kiss.
*****************************************************************************************************
With tears rolling down his cheeks, Emtato put all his chi into the kiss.
'Don't die, please don't die, don't die, don't die,' the mantra ran through his head as he poured more and more of his lifeforce into the dying girl.
As he expended more and more of his lifeforce, reality wavered and shifted into a dream.
He could feel their chis rubbing against each other, the patterns fitting into each other perfectly. Is this the reason why he was feeling so warm?
So unbelievably warm.
His lover's arms encased him and her sweet mouth beckoned him to follow, which he did willingly.
***************************************************************************************************
Ah, she felt his arms wrapping around her body and pressing her to him as his lips hardened the kiss. Unwilling to be defeated she returned the favour, causing him to gasp inside his throat. With a low moan, he dragged his mouth away from hers. Grabbing her left hand he rubbed his cheek against the soft skin on the back of her hand. She brought her remaining hand up to his face. Tracing his lips she trailed her fingers up to his right eye which was glowing even brighter. Taking a strand of his hair she ran it over his glowing eye where it immediately stuck to the sweat on his face.
Noticing the patch which was raised onto his forehead she smiled, "It's beautiful, why do you hide your eye like that?"
For a moment he shook his head. He knew that there was something important about that eye but for some reason he couldn't remember. It was as if his universe had started the moment he first kissed his lover. From the look in her eyes he could tell that she felt the same way. All that they knew was this moment.
He stared at her for long time, wonder in his eyes, before smiling and kissing her cheek. It was just a feather-peck but she gasped as she felt a shock of his chi go through her. It was…pleasurable…did he know? She glanced at his face. From the smirk on it seemed that he did.
Grabbing his shoulders she pushed him to the ground, changing their positions so that SHE was on top. Then cupping his face in her hands she proceeded to kiss him.
"Get away from him you witch!"
Both Takiko and Emtato stared in shock at the sight of the young man glaring at the girl, his arrow aimed straight at her heart. They then stared at each other in shock.
'What the gods was I doing with this man? I don't even know him!'
'What the gods was I doing with this girl? I just met her!"
Emtato turned to his friend. "Prince Chamka!"
"I told you to get away you chi-stealing Boucchu witch!" the young man yelled, releasing the arrow in his bow.
NOTE: Remember that the part of Soi's magic that involved her ahem interacting with Nakago was called Bouchhu magic. So does this mean that I've chosen Hikitsu to be Takiko's love interest? Well lets just say I plan to continue in the grand old Watasse tradition of tangled romances…Bwahahahahahah!
BTW some of those quotes I made up myself others I got from "Chinese Religion seen through The Proverb." By C.H. Plopper. Work out which one is which! (Um, the good ones come from the book and the corny ones are yours? Oh shut up!)