I'm about to marry Amita. I've known her for years-first I was her thesis advisor, and then I worked alongside her and thought I was falling in love with her. I should be the happiest man in the world right now. So why am I feeling like I can't breathe?
I slip out the back door of the building to get some fresh air-well, fresh by smoggy California standards. It gives me some clarity, and I realize what I'm really feeling. I don't want to move to England-I'd rather stay here at CalSci and keep helping Don and the team.
Now that I'm actually considering my own feelings, I don't really think I want to marry Amita, either. It's not that I'm afraid of a long-distance relationship, or even a long-distance marriage. I just don't think we're as compatible as we thought we were.
I've always been compatible with Liz. Despite viewing them in layman's terms, she seems to get the gist of most of my mathematical concepts-which is more than I've ever been able to say for Don. We get along really easily on a personal level too, and I think we've sparked in the past. I even remember a vague feeling of jealousy when she was sleeping with Don, despite my involvement with Amita.
I'm sure of how I feel now.
I can't go through with any of this.
I know I want to stay in LA, and I think I'm in love with Liz.