Chapter 3
Of
Wash Out
"There's No Sex in Your Violence"
Blair sank down onto her bed; the silk sheets beckoned her to sleep. The ring on her finger caught her attention again. A sinking feeling formed in the pit of her stomach, from the ring and now the kiss with Dan Humphrey. It had all happened so fast, with Serena crying, Dan talking, and then grabbing her arm, and then, bam! A kiss! And, in only less than an hour.
She leaned back onto her overstuffed pillows and sighed. It was only a kiss.
Blair closed her eyes and tried to think of Chuck. Naked, on top of her, but Dan's face appeared and she couldn't get rid of it.
"That's was perfect!" Serena rushed into her suite, "You were great! This has got to work!"
Dan looked at her, with his swollen cheek, "What?"
"God, you are good Daniel…" Serena walked over to him seductively, and grabbed his collar, "Why doesn't Dr. van der Woodsen fix up that cheek for you." She kissed it lightly.
"Ow." Dan flinched, and turned away from her, "This wasn't a good idea, Serena."
"Why?" Serena whined, "It's perfect. You're perfect."
"No. It's not." Dan grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair.
Serena grabbed his arm, "Please don't go. I'll make it up to you…"
Dan hesitated, but maintained his will power, "No, Serena, not everything-"
Serena pulled him to her, "Yes it can." She kissed him hard, "You know it can."
Dan smirked, "I know it can and I want to, but…" He stalled, "I just kissed Blair…"
"So?" She lied, "It was nothing, and we are trying to help her."
"How about a nice chat? Or a persuasive letter?"
Serena silenced him with another kiss and then another.
Dan shut his eyes and
tried not to think about it. Even though this was twisted and wrong,
something about the plan kept him intrigued. Who thought he
would be the one to stir up
trouble?
--
Chuck slammed his door. Blair wasn't answering his calls or texting him back. When he arrived home, it was already dark out and Serena and Dan were in the living room watching some dumb movie on TV. He tossed his cell phone onto his bed and grabbed a bottle of vodka from the suite bar in his room. A glass from last night had been left out and he didn't bother washing before filling it up to the top. He sipped at the edge, and then took a swig.
His phone vibrated against the bed. Chuck, halfway through downing the whole glass of vodka, looked at it, surprised, and set his drink down. It was Blair.
"Hello?"
"Chuck?"
"Yeah."
Then he heard sobbing, "Serena isn't answering her phone and…and I."
"What's wrong?"
She sniffled, "I did it again."
Chuck looked at the bottle of vodka; he didn't know what to say. He knew Blair had her issues with bulimia, but he'd never experienced it.
"Chuck?"
"I'll be right over."
He hung up and grabbed his coat. The sounds of the TV got louder once he opened his door, "Hey, sis!"
Serena turned around, "What?"
"It's Blair." He walked over and sat on the couch across from them, "She's having issues."
Serena looked at him, "Oh, really? Again?"
Chuck nodded, "So, you should go over there."
"Yes, I should." She agreed, and then she had another great plan,
Blair leaned against her bed and wiped away a tear that had been sliding down her cheek. Her cell phone was in one hand and a tissue was in the other. She brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, "What's taking him so long?"
Dan pressed the button to the top floor. He tugged in his shirt and stared at the floors as they passed. Serena had warned him that Blair would be vulnerable. That she would be at the perfect place to let him in. Even though Dan knew this was wrong, there was a different feeling that kept overriding it. Maybe it was her plush lips, or her brown hair or something he was missing that made it that way.
He waited for the elevator doors to full open before stepping out into the empty penthouse. It was cold, like someone had turned the air conditioner on full blast.
"Blair?" He said, but it came out in only a whisper. Clearing his throat, he walked into the living room and looked around. He saw the staircase and started for it. Before he took the first step up, he heard her, crying. He swallowed and continued up the stairs.
A door was cracked opened and he went for it.
"Chuck?" Blair called out, but no one answered. She sighed heavily and wiped her tears away with yet another tissue.
Dan entered and closed the door with a soft click. Blair was against her bed, her brown locks falling over her face.
"Chuck?" She looked up and gasped.
"Hi."
Blair stood up, ready to yell at him, but she couldn't. She was speechless.
"Serena was busy and Chuck had to do…something."
Blair bit her shaking lip, unable to speak.
"Um, I should leave."
But Blair grabbed his arm before he could turn around, and pulled him into a hug.
Dan didn't know whether to wrap his arms around her, but eventually he did.
"I was looking at myself in that stupid mirror." She pointed at the bathroom, "And I saw his ring."
"Chuck's?"
She nodded, "And I got all angry and sad and miserable again."
Dan sat down beside her, "Well, most likely that's just…anxiety."
Blair rolled her eyes, "I suppose."
"You love him."
Blair closed her eyes, "Yes." She squeaked and tears started flowing.
Dan wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, "You're nice when you're crying."
Blair pushed him away, "I'm just sad that's all, nothing new."
Dan faced her, "When Chuck purposed, did you say 'yes' automatically?"
Blair sighed, "No."
He looked at his feet, "You want to do this though, right?"
"Yes." Blair scoffed, "Of course I do."
Dan hesitated, but moved closer, "Do you?"
Blair's breath hitched, but she ignored it and continued, "Yes, I do." She shook her head and stood up. Dan followed suite and watched her. She glared at him, "Why did Serena send you anyway?"
"I told you."
Blair rolled her eyes, "Right, busy."
"Yes, busy." He smiled, "Are you alright, by the way?"
"What do you mean?"
"With your…"
"Bulimia." Blair said softly, "Yeah I'm fine. I deal with it."
"You deal with it?"
She nodded, "Yes, ever try it?"
Dan looked at her for a second, "Have you told your mom."
"She knows."
"Of course." Dan put his hands in his pockets.
Blair looked him up and down, "It's alright you know."
"What is?"
"That you came over."
Dan shrugged, "Just doing my job." Literally he thought.
"So these weird awkward moments between us, that's your job?" Blair laughed.
"I guess so."
"And the kiss?"
Dan blushed, "Ah, it was in the moment."
Blair's stomach tightened like it did when she saw Chuck's ring, "It happens to the best of us Humphrey, maybe you're slowly becoming one of us."
"One of us?"
"You know, since you've been around Serena you've already kissed the best friend, who knows what you're planning next."
Dan swallowed, "Yeah, yeah who knows?" He laughed as well, "Well, Serena probably wants a report on how you are doing."
"Don't bother, say it was nothing and I sent you down the elevator before you could even say hello."
"Good one." He said, "She'll believe that."
Blair watched him press the buttons on his phone and hit the send button.
He put his phone back in his pocket and looked up at her, "I haven't really gotten used to how you do things Blair."
"What do you mean?"
"Your spontaneous sincerity, the laughter, and just the other day I'm sure you called me something along the lines of a poor beggar and you don't know why the hell Serena would date me."
"Well," Blair smiled, "I have my moments, and well actually I have a lot of moments."
"Moments." Dan repeated, "Yeah, I'd say that's the right word."
"Don't forget to include yourself there Humphrey considering you're the one who kissed me."
"It was hardly a kiss."
Blair's face dropped, but she smiled when he looked back at her, "A kiss is a kiss."
Dan looked down for a moment, then back at her again, "You know. Sometimes I think I've done something wrong."
"Like what?"
"Like this." Dan stood there, and Blair gave him a weird look, "Like coming here, listening to Serena, like even falling for Serena in the first place."
Blair frowned at him, "Why are you telling me this?"
Dan moved closer, "Because."
"I don't want to hear it." Blair stepped backward and ended up hitting her dresser, "Dan, this just isn't…"
"Blair, I'm just saying sometimes I think I made a mistake." Dan moved a foot closer, but not close enough to touch her, "I made a mistake with Serena."
"How can you be acting like this all of the sudden? Kissing me? Coming over here and acting like you give a shit!"
"I do care." Dan said, "I care a lot."
"That's all you came here to say?"
"No." Dan said, flustered.
Blair felt his breath tickling her lips, "Dan." She said desperately, "I can't do this to Serena."
Dan moved back, "This has nothing to do with Serena."
Blair looked at him and moved her hand to slap him but he caught it midair, "After that kiss, I realized I made a huge mistake."
"It has everything to do with Serena." Blair said, teary-eyed, "She's my best friend."
"Yes, but I told you already."
Blair got out of his grip and shook her head, "This is not happening to me." She squeezed past him and went for the door.
"Blair!" Dan followed her out of her room and down the stairs.
She stood in the lobby, frail, pale and confused while Dan came from behind her and wrapped his arms around his waist and whispered, "Blair."
Blair opened her eyes and stared at the middle of the floor while he continued whispering.
"You know about the kiss. You know about Chuck and me and Serena, you've known all along."
Blair felt a burden being lifted off of her shoulders as he turned her around and kissed her, long, hard and without much sincerity but it felt more real than the earth beneath her feet.
"Have you seen Dan?" Serena asked Chuck while she poured milk into a cereal bowl.
"Nope." Chuck took a swig of milk from out of the carton, waited for Serena to complain about it, but when he didn't he continued, "Well I think he might be down in the streets somewhere searching through a garbage bin, but that's just a guess."
"Ha." Serena said but didn't have enough energy to worry about it, "He's suppose to be here now."
"Well he probably found something good in the trash can then, right?" Chuck laughed.
Serena nudged him, "Yeah, thanks."
"No problem."
"Bye Chuck."
"Bye sis."
He shut the door and Serena watched it and waited for it to open again.
Dan sat on his couch and wanted to hit his head against the coffee table. He felt confused, a serious confusion though. It wasn't simple like what should I have for breakfast confused, but like a real hardcore what the fuck am I supposed to do now confused.
That whole scene he made up as he went along with Blair had completely jumbled everything. It jumbled things because one he had kissed her. Two he kissed her more, for the hell of it. For the hell of it. He felt like Chuck Bass, but worse because he knew he wasn't like that, he was a keeper, a committer, the nice guy. Whatever you wanna call it.
His phone vibrated and when he saw Serena's name flash on it, he cringed, but picked it up, "Hi, there." What the fuck?
"Hey there." Serena made a face, "You were supposed to come back."
"I know but after she pushed me out and stuff I wanted to go straight home."
"Okay."
"Yeah, I'm tired."
"You're tired?"
"Yeah."
Serena hung up and threw her phone on her bed, "Tired?"
Dan set his phone back down and cursed, "She knows."
Blair stared at her ceiling for an extra long time. She wondered what it would be like to be with Dan and live like a poor person for once, maybe she'd like it. She rolled over on her side, no probably not.
"Yeah right."
To Be Continued
Thanks for reading and I do greatly appreciate everyone's reviews. You guys are nice! Hehe. I must sound crazy, but it is 2:14 a.m. and yeah…that s'plains it.
I mean srs bsns!