3 –
Penny texted Leonard and asked him to come over after work. He arrived carrying flowers and candy.
"Thank you for coming, Leonard."
"So, I'm forgiven."
"Not until you can explain to me what my problem is."
"I don't really understand what your problem is. You're a beautiful woman and you're my girlfriend and I want to show you off."
"So why didn't you ever mention to me that you knew about Serial Apist?"
"Ummm."
"And you don't have a problem with me being naked in that movie."
"Well, since it was before you even knew me and it was never even released, no."
"Good, because I have some news."
"What?"
"I got a part in a Showtime series."
"Which one?"
"It's called Masters of Sex and it's about sex researchers in the 1950s."
"I've never heard of it."
"Well, it's not the kind of thing you'd watch."
"So what part do you play? Are you a scientist?"
"No. I play one of the subjects."
"So they interview you about sex and stuff."
"Kind of. I also have sex on screen and masturbate."
"They can't show that on TV."
"They can show enough. I'd at least be topless, maybe completely naked."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Penny. That could really hurt your career."
"I don't think so. The critics have said really good things about the show. It's been nominated for awards and there are some really good actors and actresses in it."
"So you'd be naked by yourself?"
"I'd be simulating sex with an actor."
"What actor?"
"I don't know. He hasn't been cast."
"Penny, I think this is a really bad idea. Your parents would never approve."
"I spoke with my mom and dad and they're okay with it. They understand that it 's a risk I need to take."
"Well, I want to be there to make sure there's no funny business."
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
"I mean no you can't be there."
"Then you can't accept the part. Call your agent first thing in the morning."
"I've already accepted the part. They're sending me the script tomorrow."
"I forbid it."
"Excuse me?"
"My girlfriend is not going to be naked in front of millions of people."
"That's not your decision to make."
"I think it is."
"So, let me understand. It's okay for you to show a bunch of people a clip of me naked but it's not okay for me to decide to accept an acting part that does that."
"Yeah. It's not."
"That's what I thought. As long as it works for you it's fine. If it's for me it's not."
"It's not that simple, Penny."
"Actually it is."
"I don't understand."
"I haven't really gotten the part yet. But based on what you've said I am going after it as hard as I've ever gone after anything."
"So why did you lie to me?"
"I wanted to see if you're as big a selfish hypocrite as I thought you were. Guess what?"
"If you take that part, Penny, then we're over."
"Thank you, Leonard, for making this easy. And, um, since I have a feeling that you've downloaded that clip I want your solemn word that you will erase it and never look at it again."
"Well I won't really need to since you'll be fucking all over cable."
Penny teared up a little and then hauled off and slapped Leonard across the face.
"Okay, bucko, we are over. Now get the hell out. And if you pull any of your bros before hoes crap I will kick Little Leonard so far up into your throat you'll have to open your mouth to pee. Got it?"
Leonard turned ghostly white, turned around and ran out of Penny's apartment.
Penny felt an odd sense of relief. She sat down on her couch and got out her phone.
Sheldon, I could go for a cup of tea.
I'll be right over.
A/N: It's been a while since I had a visit from the Leonard-worshipping asshat patrol (aka The Zarneckies). You should all know that their identity du jour is SheldonH8tsShenny and User ID is 5388353 so you can block them. I think it's fun to keep them busy changing identities. And no, I didn't bother reading what they had to say since they're too cowardly to allow replies.