Johnny flinched in pain. Touching the side of cheek where his father had hit him for the first time. Although, that was years ago. He was wondering why his cheek was sensitive in that area. He touched it again but this time feeling his cheek was a little bit swollen. He had a bruise. Johnny sighed in frustration. The fact that everyday he has to hide his wounds and scars from people. He has scars all over his stomach, chest, and back. Every time he went swimming, he would want to keep his shirt on. The gang would always ask him why he always wears a shirt when he swims. He would make up excuses that were not easy to come up with. But the gang always fell for it. He did not want other people, especially the gang, to see his scars. He was afraid to reveal himself. He didn't know what the gang or anyone else would think. He would probably be publicly humiliated. Or be put in a foster home if he was force to tell social services about his abuse. His neighborhood felt like hell most of the time. The whole Soc and Greaser gang rivalry was just pointless. Both sides were all human beings. Not trash. But in this generation, nobody cares.
The frustration inside of Johnny began to subside quickly into sadness. The memories were coming back again. Johnny put his face in his cupped hands. He sighed. He wished it would stop. He was sick and tired of thinking about everything that has happened in his childhood. Johnny put his hands back down and revealed his cut and bruised face. He rested his elbow on his knee and rested his forehead into his hand. He closed his eyes.
Johnny's mother had came into her little boy's room. She found Johnny laying on his stomach with his face buried into the pillow sobbing and his arms under it. His bear was laying on the floor. Mrs. Cade walked slowly over to her weeping son. She sat down next to Johnny on his bed. Mrs. Cade had no idea what to say. She knew that Johnny knew about the arguments and fights that have been going on lately between her and her husband. She hated seeing Johnny like this. Especially, his father hitting their son for the first time. She blames her husband for all of this. Bring booze in every night. First off hitting her and now Johnny. Although, some of the drinking was her fault. At least she kept it under control and not drink every night. Mrs. Cade continued to stare sadly at Johnny who was still sobbing. She put a hand on Johnny's slim back and stroked it in attempt to comfort him. She could feel him shaking violently. She had to say something. Otherwise, Johnny would feel like his own mother doesn't care about the abuse.
"Jonathan, sweetheart, don't cry. Everything will be okay. Your father didn't mean to hit you," Mrs. Cade said in a comforting tone. Johnny lifted his head from the pillow to turn to his mother. He turned his body to sit up cross legged. Mrs. Cade studied his face. Johnny's face was tear streaked with tears still falling. His eyes were red from crying. The red mark on Johnny's face had faded but his cheek was a bit swollen and bruised. It broke her heart to see her son in physical and emotional pain.
"Oh, my poor baby," Mrs. Cade said while embracing her small son into her arms. Johnny wrapped his small arms around his mother and continued to sob. He laid his head against her shoulder.
"Daddy hit me," Johnny said. "It hurts so bad. Mommy, I'm scared."
Those words from her son made Mrs. Cade feel awful. She didn't know what to do with his father. She tried telling him to get therapy or get help somewhere with his drinking problems. But no matter what she told him, he wouldn't listen. All she could do was just do her duties as a parent and wife. Mrs. Cade stroked Johnny's black soft hair.
"Don't be scared, Jonathan. Your father just lost his temper that's all," Mrs. Cade whispered trying to defend the father. Although, he really didn't deserve it. Johnny broke out of his mother's embrace.
"He didn't have to hit me!" Johnny said angrily. "I didn't know it was past my bed time and I couldn't sleep because you and daddy argued all night." Johnny crossed his arms and huffed. Tears still falling. Mrs. Cade could not blame Johnny for not being able to sleeping because of the loud noises that her and her husband were causing. Johnny had every right to be angry because of the fights and alcohol being allowed into the house.
"Johnny, you have every right to be mad at me and daddy. Everyone has flaws with their children. I'm certainly not happy by your father bringing every bottle of beer into this house. I always tell him not to but he keeps bringing it in and acts like he doesn't care." Mrs. Cade said half pleadingly. "But, I admit I do drink a little every now and then. Which I shouldn't have. I made that mistake. And so has your father." Johnny refusing to met his mother's gaze looked down on the bed.
"Johnny, look at me," Mrs. Cade put a hand under his chin so Johnny was giving her eye contact. Fingers stroking his jaw line.
"I know your father has been acting violent and careless around you. I am not going to let him hurt you again. Not today. Not any day. That's a promise."
"Really?" Johnny said as Mrs. Cade cupped Johnny's cheek in her hand as she wiped his tears away with her thumb.
"Yes. I promise I will work harder on keeping this family together and keeping booze out of this house so your father can straighten himself up," Mrs. Cade said assuring Johnny.
Mrs. Cade picked Johnny's bear up off the wooden floor and handed it to Johnny. He hugged the bear tightly in his arms and shut his eyes for a brief moment. He looked back at his mother who was smiling. Johnny gave a huge hug to his mother. Mrs. Cade returned the hug.
"Mommy?"
"Yes dear," Mrs. Cade said.
"Are you going to end up like dad?" Johnny asked worriedly.
"No. Not ever will I become a drunk abusive parent."
"Liar," Johnny said under his breath. A tear rolling down his face. Remembering the words that the mother had promised but never kept. The family never got any better. It kept getting worse everyday. His mother became a drunk abusive parent. But mostly yelling and ignoring Johnny. While the father did all the above. Johnny took a deep breath and tried to relax. Head still in his hand. Elbow still resting on his leg.
Age thirteen, Mr. Cade grabbed Johnny by his t-shirt and dragged him across the living room. He opened the door and threw Johnny off the porch to where he fell to the ground face first.
"Stay out you little shit!" Mr. Cade yelled before slamming the door.
Johnny rolled over to lay on his back on the cold hard ground. Overwhelmed by what just happened. He closed his eyes as tears began to pour. A shadow stood over Johnny. He opened his eyes quickly to find eleven year old Ponyboy. His feet near Johnny's head. He bent down to get a closer look at Johnny.
"Are you okay Johnnycakes?" Ponyboy asked. Johnny shook his head with tears.
"Mom! Dad! Soda! Darry!" Ponyboy called out for his family in a panic.
The rest of the Curtis family ran to Ponyboy's side and hovered over around Johnny. Five of them worried sick.
"Johnnycake, what happened?" Soda asked.
"My dad threw me out of the house," Johnny's voice cracked.
"Did your parents beat you too?" Darry asked.
Johnny nodded. The Curtis's frown in sorrow. Johnny was still young and he didn't deserve to be treated this way. Mr. Curtis put his arms underneath Johnny's body. One arm under his back and the other under his legs. He lifted Johnny of the dirt ground and pulled him closer to him. Johnny weakly wrapped one arm around Mr. Curtis's neck and put his hand on his shoulder. Mrs. Curtis walked over to Johnny in her husband's arms. She brushed away his tears with her gentle fingers. She then moved Johnny's short bands which fell back into place. She cupped Johnny's face.
"Everything will be okay, Johnny," Mrs. Curtis said in a kind tone. "You're safe with us. Your parents won't hurt you now. You can hang with Ponyboy, Soda, and Darry. Would you like that?"
Johnny nodded. Mrs. Curtis turned to her three sons.
"Boys, Johnny is going to be staying with us for awhile," Mrs. Curtis said.
The three boys had expressions of excitement. Ponyboy was jumping up and down overjoyed. Soda was saying "yes" repeatedly to the idea. Darry Jr. smiled and nodded.
"Alright, it's getting dark out. Lets head on home," instructed.
The Curtis family walked home to their house with carrying Johnny with him.
Johnny liked the memory of the Curtis's helping him that day when he was first kicked out of house. But at thirteen, he still hated bothering the Curtis's every time his parents beat him or when he sleeps outside not wanting to be with his parents in their brawl. He appreciated them for all they did but he thought the family was just wasting their time. Especially with the Curtis brothers having both of their parents deceased.
Johnny stretched out his arm that was resting on his leg. He wrapped his arms around himself to try to make himself warm. But is was useless. He crossed his arms and tried to get comfortable in the seat that made his back ache from sitting in the same spot for so long. Johnny was thinking of another memory of his abuse. He tried to shake it off but nothing worked. The memories were killing him. When was the nightmares going to end? It seemed like never. The nightmares were flashing through Johnny. He remembers every moment of those days of abuse. 'Why won't this stop?' Johnny thought to himself..
"You little shit!" His father's voice in his head. "You can't do anything right!" Johnny began to tremble violently. "You can't do anything right!" Johnny was breathing hard. He tried to control it but he felt like he couldn't. Tears forming in his eyes. 'Get out of my head!' Johnny thought to himself again.
On every fathers and mothers day, Johnny would give his parents cards and gifts to show his love. But they would shred the cards and gifts would be destroyed and throw into the garbage. Every holiday, his parents wouldn't celebrate anything. The only thing they did every years was get drank on a handover and abuse their son. His parents wouldn't even celebrate Johnny's birthday. All he would get as a reward was beatings and yelling or otherwise being ignored. Not caring if the parents had a son.
That was it. He couldn't take it. He was losing his mind with all these memories that were refusing to leave. He couldn't hold his emotions in any longer. He felt like if he didn't let out soon he would explode. Johnny put his head between his knees and put both his hands on the back of his head. He began to bawl. He hated the fact he had to except that his parents didn't love him. He knew if the gang saw him they would probably think he was a whip. But the gang knows that Johnny is a sensitive person so they go easy on him. None of it mattered now. All Johnny wanted to do now was bawl and wait until his emotions decides to settle down.