Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. They belong to JK Rowling and company. I just use them for my own wish fulfillment and amusement.

Summary: It's sixth year and Severus Snape is dying to get Lily Evans to give him a chance at being her boyfriend. He challenges her to two weeks over the Christmas holidays to give him a shot. And if it doesn't work, he'll leave her alone forever. Will he be able to win her heart? Or will her burgeoning crush on James Potter win out over her friendship with Severus?

AUTHORS NOTE: This is a re-posting of this story. I took it down before due to several negative responses and decided I wanted to tweak a few parts, especially the ending. But this is the same story as before, thus far, so no need to read it again. The new parts will be posted as I finish them. But do remember this story is posted under 'angst'. I have taken some liberties with the characters because frankly we don't know that much about James and Lily and Severus as a boy. But this is not an AU story. It's more of a 'what if' scenario that this holiday could have happened and we'd never know about it. So if you're looking for a fluffy story, this isn't it. Be prepared for some tough stuff for my favorite characters. Snape wouldn't be Snape if he didn't suffer. So with that said, I am putting this story back up, but am re-doing the last part I posted (that not many of you probably saw) And if this is your first time reading this, welcome to my story. I hope you'll enjoy it. And if not, that's okay too. This is the story I wanted to tell. I just think I can tell the ending better than I originally did. Thanks for reading along.

Holiday of Hope

They had laid in front of the fire together until it got dark outside, and then Severus knew he had to get home. But he didn't want to. There was still so much time left for him and Lily to spend together, he didn't want to waste a moment of it. But his mum was expecting him for supper. He just hated to leave her alone in that house without any real meal to eat.

"You could come with me?" he offered as he stood up from the blanket fort.

"No, I don't fancy seeing your mum. Especially uninvited. Maybe you could come back later?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I could. I could sneak out and come over and stay the whole night. My mum would never know. She never checks on me," he told her with a smile.

"The whole night? You'd really risk that?" she wondered.

"For you, I would. And you said your family wasn't coming in until 10am so I'll be gone long before that. I hate to think of you spending the night alone again in this cold dreary house."

"If you spent the night, it'd just be a sleep over as friends. No funny business," she reminded him.

"I know that. I wasn't even thinking that. Trust me. I'll sneak out after supper and we'll have the entire night to talk and have fun."

"Alright. But only if you're sure."

"I'm very sure. Now I best get going so she's not cross with me."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek and then he smiled again and exited the house as she watched after him. She wasn't sure what she was doing exactly, but the prospect of sleeping with another person sounded lovely on a cold evening like this. And she trusted him. They'd been laying under the blankets for hours and they'd only kissed the one time. He never tried to make any moves on her or touch her breasts again, even though she may have let him. He was a perfect gentleman. And that thought made her smile widely, because there weren't a lot of gentlemen out there these days. She wouldn't consider James a gentleman. Though he'd never touched her or done anything crude to her, but he did make comments sometimes that she felt were a little over the top. Alluding to her body and the way she moved and it made her wonder if he'd be completely grabby and expect a lot from her if they did go out. She wasn't really sure. James seemed so much more worldly and Severus was just a shy gentle boy. They couldn't be more different. She just had to decide in her mind which one of them actually lit her fire. Right now, Severus was warming her heart, that's for sure.

Severus trudged home to his place with the two bin lids he'd stolen and he replaced them as quickly as he could before anyone saw him pass by. He could be sneaky when necessary. But a stray cat almost ruined his stealth by hissing at him and almost knocking over one of the rubbish bins. But he quickly ran away and went into his dreary old house. His mum was waiting rather impatiently for him.

"Severus Snape, where have you been all day?" she said tapping her foot.

"I was out with a friend, Mum. We were playing in the snow," he explained.

"Playing in the snow? Shouldn't you be studying or something?" she asked with a sigh.

"No, it's the holiday. We don't have anything to study for," he told her.

"But that's what you usually do. You never go out with friends. Who is this friend anyway? Do I know him?" she wondered as she sat at the table where a small meal was presented.

He took off his coat and joined her.

"It's not a him, Mother. It's a her. Remember my friend Lily?" he said tentatively.

"Lily? That ginger girl? The one with Muggles for parents and that horrid older sister?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, her."

"Oh well, why didn't you say it was a girl? All day long I kept imagining you plotting and scheming terrible things with some roughneck you met in school. I had no idea you were still friends with her," his mum said, digging into her food.

"We haven't been friends for a while, but we are now."

"Hmm. You fancy her?"

"Mum!"

"What? Do you?"

"Maybe?"

"I wished you'd meet a pureblood. Or at least a half blood like yourself. I married a Muggle and it was dreadful. Muggles are dreadful people usually," she sighed.

"Lily isn't a Muggle though. She's a witch. Just like you."

"Not just like me. My parents weren't Muggles. You know what she is," she said haughtily.

"Don't say the word, Mum. I don't like hearing it." He knew the word Mudblood was on her lips and he wanted to stop it.

"Fine. I won't say it. But you know it. But perhaps it's at least time for you to go out with girls. I was beginning to think you never would. You're almost seventeen and I've heard not one peep about a girl ever."

"That's because there've been no girls. Can we just eat please? I don't want to talk about this. I do actually have some reading to catch up on, so I want to finish supper quickly," he told her, trying to change the subject.

"Alright. You're just going to eat and lock yourself in your room all night?" she asked.

"It's what I usually do. Remember? Besides it's not like you wish to chat with me after supper. You have your knitting and such."

"Yes, I do. I suppose it's fine for you to read after supper. You know I fall asleep early," she chuckled slightly as she gulped some wine with her meal.

"Mum do you need a refill on your wine? Is it in the kitchen?" he asked politely.

"Well yes, it is. I could be topped off."

He got up and went to the kitchen and found the wine bottle on the counter. He opened the cork and quickly chugged some and then he stuck the cork back in. Then he noticed several more bottles stacked in the corner on the counter. She wouldn't miss one, would she? He was thinking to smuggle it to Lily's house. It would be romantic. Drinking wine together, like grown-ups. He made a mental note of the stash, took one more swig, and then came back out to the table and poured it for his mum. He hoped he could get away with sneaking a bottle out. That would impress Lily for sure. At least he thought it would. He was going to try.

Once supper was over, he watched his mum retire to her arm chair and he grabbed his coat discreetly and slung it over his arm. He headed to the kitchen without her seeing and he grabbed a wine bottle and shoved it under his coat that was draped over his arm. He spirited himself up the stairs to his room before his mum even noticed him at all. Now he just had to wait a little bit for her to get sleepy. It would seem like forever, but eventually, he peeked down the stairs and saw her asleep in the chair. He took his coat and the wine, and quietly slipped out the door. She was none the wiser and just assumed he was in his room all evening. And he knew she'd never check on him. She never did. He made his way down the streets until he got to the better part of town where Lily lived. It was a bit scary out at night, and he wished he could use magic if need be, but he knew he wasn't allowed. Except he still kept his wand with him at all times, just in case. If it was an emergency, they'd have to make an exception, wouldn't they?

When he got to her house, he knocked on the door and she opened it up quickly with a smile.

"You actually made it," she beamed at him.

"I told you I would. And I have this," he said pulling out the bottle of wine from his coat.

"Oh my God! Wine? You stole that? Your mum is going to murder you," she fretted.

"Nah, she won't notice. She had five bottles. It's all really cheap so it's awful tasting. I tried some at supper. But I thought you'd enjoy it. You said you'd never had more than a sip."

"Get in here," she said, ushering him out of the cold and shutting the door. "Of course I want to try it. I've never been drunk. How exciting is this?" she grinned wildly.

He walked in the room and noticed the blanket fort was gone now and he frowned slightly. He liked that thing. Juvenile as it was, but it was very cozy. She noticed him looking.

"I had to put the fort away so my mum didn't get angry at me making a mess of the living room. But we can go in my room. I have records! We can listen to music and dance and drink this cheap lovely wine!"

"In your room?" he asked, feeling his heart start to beat faster. He'd never been in her room before. Not even as kids.

"Yeah, my room isn't so bad. At least I have my own now. I used to share with Petunia but when she turned fifteen she demanded the sewing room be her room. I was relieved. Little brat only got what she wanted because I pleaded with my parents to cave into her demands. My room is way bigger. Sometimes I love being the favorite," she laughed.

"Well lead the way to your room," he smiled happily.

They walked up the stairs and she ushered him into her room and was glad she'd spent time picking it up as her trunk was lying there with all her things everywhere until she cleaned it up. Now it was presentable for company and her parents. And her owl was sitting in his cage by the window and her cat was asleep on the bed.

"I forgot you had a cat. What's his name?" Severus asked her as he went to pet the furry little black animal.

"It's a she. And her name is Shadow. She spends most of her time sleeping in my dorm so it's no wonder you forgot I had her."

"She seems to like me. Normally cats don't like me," he noted.

"She's very mellow. She likes everyone. Even Sirius. And he's, well, he's a dog person, shall we say," she said awkwardly.

"I do know he's a dog. Or at least he can be. I'm not daft. I know all about everyone in that group. The werewolf? Nearly killed me once, if you recall," he pointed out harshly.

"Yes, I recall. The entire stunt was horrid. You know I had nothing to do with it. And James saved you," she reminded him.

"Don't remind me. I'd rather forget the entire affair," he said taking off his coat and putting the bottle of wine on a table. "So you wanna drink this? Do you have a corkscrew to open it with?"

"Oh yeah. Downstairs. I'll be right back! You just get comfy and look through my records and see what you like."

She rushed off and he went to peruse her record collection. She had quite a large one to his very small one. He rarely had extra money to spend on items like that. And his mother only listened to classical music and nothing from this decade. He didn't know a lot of the popular artists. But she had the Bee-Gees and The Bay City Rollers. He'd at least heard of them. But he was no expert on music. So he just pulled out the Bee-Gee's album and set it on the record player and placed the little needle onto it and waited for it to play. She walked back in the room with the corkscrew and got excited he'd picked her favorite album to play.

"Oh this is the best! Have you heard this one?" she asked curiously, handing him the corkscrew.

"No, I don't really know it. Except I know they're popular. Though I must say this bloke sings like his bollocks are in a vise," Severus laughed.

She giggled and shook her head.

"He does have a high pitched tone. But it's still good!"

Severus just opened the wine and took a swig then handed her the bottle. She took a swig too and made a face then handed it back.

"It's kind of yucky," she admitted.

"I told you it was cheap. But it'll still get you tipsy."

They sat down cross legged on her bed and just passed the bottle back and forth while she sang along with the music and he just watched her with a grin on his face. Then a particularly peppy song came on and she grabbed his hand.

"Oh put the bottle down and dance with me! This is the best song ever!" she exclaimed.

"Lily, I don't dance," he protested.

"Oh come on. Try at least! I'll show you what to do," she pleaded with him.

He put the bottle down on the nightstand and she grabbed him up to dance. The song was Stayin' Alive and she had the little finger pointing gesture down and all the dance moves. Severus just swayed a little and watched her and tried not to laugh too hard. But she grabbed his arms and made him do the dance steps with her, which he both detested and loved at the same time. He loved her trying to make him have fun and loosen up, but he felt like a moron. She even grabbed his hips and tried to make him gyrate appropriately and all he could do is laugh. He'd never laughed this much in his whole life. And part of it was the drink he'd had, and the other part was just being with her. She made him feel like a normal bloke who did normal things, and not just some weird magical social outcast. She made him feel alive. Just like the song was talking about. Soon he was even singing along the chorus which was about the only words he could discern. When the song was over, the next song was a slow number and he grabbed Lily up and pulled her to him.

"Keep dancing with me," he urged her.

"Alright," she smiled up at him.

He held her close and they swayed to the music and the song was asking "How Deep Is Your Love" and he knew how deep his love ran. He just wondered how deep hers ran. Or if there was love there at all. But they danced and danced and she closed her eyes against his chest and enjoyed the way it felt to be held by him. He was warm and his arms felt strong around her. He wasn't a big man and was rather skinny, but he was still stronger than her. And she had a feeling he was holding her so tightly because he never wanted to let her go. And that thought made her warm inside. But it could be the drink she'd had too. She was slightly tipsy too and not thinking one hundred percent clearly.

Once the song was over, they sat back down on the bed and grabbed the wine bottle again. They drank wordlessly for a bit as the music played and then Lily broke the silence.

"So, have you ever danced with a girl before tonight?" she wondered idly.

"Why? Was it that apparent I had no idea what I was doing?" he said with a sly grin.

"No, you did fine. I was just wondering."

"Lily, I've told you that I've never been with any other girls. Ever. In any capacity. They certainly aren't lining up to speak to me, much less dance down the halls of Hogwarts. You're my first for everything."

"Right. That's so weird sometimes to think. That I'm someone's first for everything. But I kind of like it. It's like I'm showing you the ropes of life," she said with a small smile.

"Well I'm showing you some things too. Like how to drink," he said, holding the nearly empty bottle up.

"Yes, you are. And I think I'm getting a bit drunk," she giggled.

"Me too. But it's nice. I like this feeling. It's like the whole world just melts away and it's just you and me."

He took her hand and held it and then he pulled it up and kissed it. She let him and she didn't let go either. She was feeling much the same as he was at this moment. Happy and content. She leaned over and kissed him again, and this time he was much more confident and had no problem kissing her as deeply as he wanted without fear she'd smack him and throw him out. But after a few minutes, it was she who pulled away yet again. She always did. If it were up to him, they'd never stop. But she smiled and stood up and changed the record to something else, without saying a word. Then she sat back down across from him and grabbed the bottle and finished it off. Then she leaned over and put it on the night table.

"So now that we're good and snockered, what should we talk about?" she asked curiously, hiccupping slightly.

"I don't know. We could talk about whether or not this little plan of mine is working," he tossed out nervously.

"I'm not sure. Next question," she said unsure how to answer as her own feelings were very jumbled up in her head.

"Alright. Do you like kissing me?" he wondered.

She blushed slightly and nodded.

"Yes. You're quite good at it. Especially for someone who's never done it before."

"That's good to know. Because I love kissing you. It's the best thing in the world."

"It's just kissing," she shrugged dismissively.

"Well I like it," he smiled. "You ask me something?"

"Okay. Um, so if this experiment does work, what will happen? None of our friends will like us together," she pointed out.

"True. Mine will think I'm mad. And yours, well yours will just try and hex me probably. But the way I see it, it's nobody's business," he explained.

"But what will we do? Just not have friends?" she worried.

"I don't need friends if I have you," he admitted, taking her hand again.

"But I want friends too. I want it all," she admitted.

"Well then perhaps you should have picked more open minded friends?"

"Same could be said for you."

"I know. That's why I said I'd give them up. In the end, you're all I really care about," he said sincerely.

"I'm not sure I feel the same. I mean, I don't want to be shunned entirely. And I know James will be so disappointed. He still thinks we have a shot," she sighed.

"Do you? Still have a shot with him? Do you want one?" he asked, slightly bitter, as she promised not to talk about James anymore.

"I don't know."

"Well I hope by the end of the holidays you will know. And you'll pick me. And whatever happens with your friends and mine, happens. We'll deal with it. I'm not afraid. But you are," he said somewhat harshly.

"I don't want to be an outcast. I don't want to be friendless. You hate them, but I've grown quite fond of Remus and Sirius and sometimes Peter. And James, well, you know how he feels and he makes it known quite often how he feels. How can I just not have them in my life?"

"At some point you'll have to choose, that's all. And if they're really these great people you say they are, they'll want you to be happy. My friends? They could care less if I'm happy or not. But I know that going in. But you? If they're really so wonderful, they'll grow to accept us. They'll have to," he explained.

"I guess. I need to use to the loo," she said, letting go of his hand and getting up off the bed and walking out quickly to get away from the conversation.

He just sat there and realized this was going to be a bigger obstacle than he ever imagined. She wasn't willing to go public with her feelings for him, whatever they were. But she was perfectly content to hold his hand and snog him and dance with him in private. Where no one else could see. He felt slighted and hurt by that. She was embarrassed of him. That's what it was. And he thought she hung the moon. He'd be delighted to announce to the world they were together, despite his snobby friends reactions, but she didn't feel the same. And just then the song on the record changed and started playing a maudlin tune that fit his mood. It was You Are My Sunshine. He listened to the words and they cut right through his heart. Especially when it got to the part that said, "I'll always love you, and make you happy, if you will only say the same. But if you leave me, to love another, you'll regret it all someday…"

Lily had walked into the doorway and caught Severus quietly singing along under his breath and wiping a tear out of his eye. She heard the words and knew the song well and she didn't want him to know she caught him in a weak moment. She cleared her throat loudly to announce her presence and he wiped his eyes furiously and stood up to face her.

"I got something in my eye," he told her, trying to play it cool.

"Yeah, it's a little dusty in here. Sorry about that," she played along. "Listen, let's not talk about what comes next okay? Let's just concentrate on now. And right now, I want to dance some more. But not to this. Something better. Let me find the perfect record."

Severus prayed she didn't notice him crying over a stupid song, but he wasn't sure how long she was standing there. But either way, she wasn't making a thing of it, so he wasn't going to make a thing of it. He would just listen to her silly songs and dance like a fool. Anything to make her happy. And he'd have to hope that even if in the end of it all she didn't choose him, he'd always have these memories to keep with him. And they were good memories. He got up and let her make him dance and since he had some drink in him, he was able to enjoy it more than he normally would. Especially since she was really into it. And at the end of it all, they both collapsed on the bed in a fit of laughter and she said she was too tired and getting sleepy to keep going.

"We should go to sleep, I think. I'm groggy. That wine and all that dancing is really hitting me," she yawned.

"Do you want me to sleep on the floor?" he asked curiously.

"Don't be silly. We shared the fort together. I think we can share a bed. I trust you," she told him.

"Alright, if you're sure."

"Positive."

She grabbed her nightgown and went to the bathroom to change, and he just took off his shoes and socks and his light jacket and draped it over a chair. He could sleep in his clothes. He wasn't about to get undressed and have her freak out. So when she came back in, he was just sitting there with his shirt unbuttoned slightly and she noticed his socks had holes in them. She giggled a little and went to her drawer and pulled out a pair of warm wool socks and threw them at him.

"Here. You need new socks, Severus," she told him.

"I know. I'm hoping to get some for Christmas. But thanks," he said, pulling his off and pulling hers on. They were rather large and didn't seem like they belonged to her. "Who's socks are these anyway?"

"They're my dad's. I stole them. They're so warm! But you can have them. Are you ready to get in bed?"

"Yes," he nodded.

She pulled back the covers and they both climbed in under the down duvet and he had to admit her bed was so much nicer than his lumpy old mattress and tattered blankets. She switched off the light and they both snuggled down together facing each other. She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers.

"You know, I wouldn't trust any other boy to share my bed. Just you," she whispered.

"Really?"

"Yes. You're such a gentleman. And I know you'd never try anything with me."

"Right, because I'm so sexless. Like a eunuch to you right?" he sighed.

"No! Not that. Just I know you'd never try to force me to do something I didn't want. You're too sweet and too gentle. That's why I trust you. You've already proven you're no eunuch to me," she laughed slightly.

"Good, because I'm not. And I am not thinking entirely pure thoughts right now. But you're right. I'd never act on them. It's just your nightgown is lacy at the top. It's lovely. And it's a nightgown. My brain is mushy now," he admitted.

"You can see it in the dark?"

"No, but I saw it when you came into the room. And I can sort of see the lacey bits now."

"It's flannel though. Hardly sexy. It's not a negligee or anything," she reasoned.

"So? It's still a nightgown. And we're snuggling in your bed. Can I kiss you again?" he asked hurriedly.

"Yes, okay."

He leaned over and kissed her hungrily, this time he had a lot harder of a time keeping himself in check and was not acting as much of a gentleman as she seemed to think he was. But he still kept his hands in appropriate places. But he really wanted to just climb on top of her and rip the nightgown off. The wine was fueling his desires even more than normal. But he would never do it. Especially since she trusted him so much. She finally pushed him back breathlessly and just tried to look into his eyes in the dark.

"That was some kissing. My goodness. I can't breathe," she told him.

"Sorry. I got a bit carried away."

"It's alright. But will you just hold me? That's what I want you to do," she whispered.

"Alright."

She rolled over and curled up next to him and grabbed his arms and pulled them over her.

"Spoon me. You know, you're the big spoon and I'm the little one," she explained.

He scooted over closer to her and did what she asked him. But he couldn't help that his excitement at kissing her in the bed was apparent against her bum. He prayed she wouldn't say anything about the hardness pressing into her. But she did notice. And she blushed in the dark and tried not to giggle like a little girl. But she'd never felt an erection before. Not with her hands or one pressed against her. But she knew that wasn't his wand she was feeling as he'd put that on the nightstand. But she just pretended she didn't notice it and just how much heat was emanating from his nether regions. She just wanted to enjoy the cuddling.

"I hope you have sweet dreams," she whispered to him softly.

"I will. Don't you worry. I hope you have sweet dreams too," he whispered back.

"Thanks for dancing with me and bringing the wine. It was fun."

"You're welcome. I had fun too. A lot of it."

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Were you crying over that one song? When I walked in, were you sad?" she decided to be bold and ask him, even if it embarrassed him.

"I told you I had something in my eye," he protested, squirming uncomfortably at her question.

"You can tell me. You know everything we say to each other is secret," she assured him.

"I know. But I don't know why you'd think I'd cry over a dumb song," he scoffed.

"Because of the words. You worry I'm going to love another."

He was quiet for a bit and then he just pulled her tighter against him.

"I am afraid you'll love another. And then you'll take my sunshine away. Feel free to laugh at me, but yes, the song got to me. I don't want to lose you again," he whispered softly.

"Oh Severus. Don't think of it. You won't lose me. No matter how it turns out. I'll always be your friend."

"My friend. Yeah. You know I want so much more than that. And I'd be good to you. Like I always promised I would. I don't even know why there's a question in your mind."

"There's not. Not a question of how you'd treat me. Just a question of how I feel. And right now, I can't quite figure it out. But I do know I like being with you like this. I like your arms around me. And I want to sleep in your arms. And wake in your arms. Isn't that good enough for now?"

He thought about it for a moment then he kissed her cheek.

"Yes, it's enough. Now get some sleep, my drunk angel. I'm a terrible influence on you."

"Yes, you are. Goodnight my prince. I'll see you very early. You have to leave by 7am because my folks are coming in around 10am."

"Don't worry, I need to be gone before that even so my mum doesn't miss me."

"I set the alarm for 6:30am."

"Okay. Don't worry, I won't get you in trouble. Now rest."

"Goodnight Severus."

"Goodnight Lily."

Then they both just laid there in each other's arms trying to figure out what was happening between them. He was clear headed as to what he wanted, but she still wasn't. And maybe she never would be. But he knew right now at this very moment, he had a piece of her heart. And it was a piece he thought he'd lost forever. He would still rather live with the piece than with nothing at all. And she felt the same way. She wanted him in her life, she just didn't know in what capacity. Her brain was whirling with mixed emotions and too much wine. She couldn't bear to think of it any longer and soon drifted off to sleep. He just lay there and listen to her breathing heavily and he pulled her tighter against him before he fell asleep too.

The next thing either of them knew, it was morning. And it wasn't 6:30am, it was after 9am. And the stupid alarm had not gone off. Lily forgot to actually turn it on after she set it. But the both shot bolt upright when they heard commotion from downstairs.

"Oh shit! Oh no! Oh my God! My parents are home!"

"Oh fuck me. I'm a dead man. If your old man doesn't kill me, my mum will. Oh shit! Why didn't the damn alarm sound?" he asked frantically throwing the covers off and jumping out of the bed.

"I forgot to turn it on! I was drunk and tired! Oh God. Get out of here! Quick!"

"How? Jump out the bloody window?"

"Oh what are we going to do?"

They both just looked at each other and didn't know what to do next. He could apparate, but not legally yet. He'd get in trouble. And he'd kill himself if he jumped out the second story window. And there was no way he could slip past her entire family in the living room. They were both dead. Their little plan went up in smoke. And they just stared at each other like two deer caught in the headlights.

"We're both fucked," Lily lamented.

And Severus had to agree.

To be continued…please leave comments to let me know if you're liking this story or not. Thanks for reading!