UltimateShowdownChapter2
Clockwork: oh, hi. The writers of this fic (*watches the fourth wall crack*) terribly messed up the timeline-
Me and star1412: sorry!
Clockwork: and therefore things are not happening in the right order. I will try to find a way to fix this without comp… wait, that's impossible. On second thought, please send phanthom theif kid any timeline related questions.
GlaDOS: quiet. I have some mutants about to wake up. Oh yeah, and the writers of this fanfic, (fanfic name here)do not own any of the topics mentioned and/or referenced in this fic. Enjoy!
Amy woke up surrounded by brown feathers. She blinked a couple times and rubbed her eyes.
"Huh? Did I fall asleep in that haunted house? Or was that a dream? Why am I buried in feathers?"
Upon closer examination, she noticed that the feathers were neatly arranged and attached, not just haphazardly stacked.
"When did I get feather curtains?"
She pushed the curtains out of the way and they brushed up against a twig. She realized that she could feel it.
"Wait, are these wings? And they're on my back?"
"Yep, they're you're wings alright! And you're the strangest bird I've ever seen!"
"What? Bird?"
Amy took in her surroundings. There were big leafy trees everywhere. She was sitting on a platform with railings to prevent her from rolling off in her sleep. She had a sudden thought and looked down. Worst mistake ever. She wasn't sure, but from her terrifying point of view the ground was about one hundred thousand meters below.
"AAAAGGGG! I WANT MY MOMMY! I WANT CONAN! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
"Didn't you hear me? You're the strangest bird I've ever seen! What type are you?"
Amy looked around and saw a large bird perched on a branch next to her.
"Is it talking to me? How?" She wondered
"Yes, I'm talking to you. You still haven't answered my question. What type of bird are you?"
"Congratulations, (subject name here). You are now the first successful red-tailed hawk-human hybrid. We will begin testing shortly." a computerized voice chimed in from above.
"Where are we?" Amy asked the bird. "And what kind of bird are you?"
"Red-tailed hawk. As for our location, I was hoping you'd know."
"Is she going to have me sit in a chair and answer a bunch of questions? What if I haven't studied?"
"I don't think that's the kind of testing she's talking about. It would probably be best if I taught you how to fly."
As soon as Dib and Gaz reached Amity Park, Dib ran off.
"I'm off to study ghosts Gaz! I'll see you later!" he called.
"Whatever." Gaz said.
She turned to her GameSlave 2 only to realize her battery had died.
"Where exactly am I going to find batteries at this hour? Now I can't play my game. This is all Dib's fault. He will pay!"
Meanwhile, Dib was wandering around the streets of Amity Park.
"Where are all the ghosts? The brochure advertised almost one attack every hour and a ghost boy! Where are they?"
Dib walked around for almost another hour, and no ghosts appeared.
"Oh come on!" he yelled.
"And the noble peace prize for science goes to... Mitch Tennison, for the discovery of the existence of ghosts!"
Mitch walked up to the podium to receive his prize and give his speech. Just as he opened his mouth, he felt a few drips of water. The dripping quickly increased to a trickle, which became a downpour. The room began to quickly fill up. Just as the room completely filled, Mitch woke up from his dream.
"Okay, that made no sense. Wait, why am I still underwater?"
He held his breath and started flailing around in a panic. After 30 seconds of this, he realized something.
"Wait. Wasn't I just sleeping? How am I alive?"
He looked at his arms and discovered that they were covered in blue-green scales. After a while of gaping at his arm, he realized that the scales were all over his body. His fingers were about a centimeter longer than they would normally be and they were webbed like a frog's. His toes were about five centimeters long, and they were more spread out. They were webbed too. He put one of his hands to his side and felt something... gills? How was that possible? His nose seemed smaller too. And he couldn't find his nostrils.
"Congratulations!" a mechanical voice said. "You are now the first ever human-fish hybrid. The aperture science congratulatory waterproof confetti will be dispensed in 3… 2… 1…"
A bunch of small rocks hit Mitch on the head. "Ow."
"That wasn't supposed to happen. That's the congratulatory sediment-shaped sediment. Initiate failsafe."
Another small load of rocks fell beside him.
"That's the waterproof confetti? And how am I hearing her so well anyway?
He reached up to feel his ears. They were shaped… differently than normal.
"This is the strangest day ever."
When Link came to, the first thing he did was search his treasures.
"No! They got my alchemy stone and mystic jade! Those treasures don't exactly grow on trees, you know! I have to get them back!" He ran up to his train, only to discover that the engine was gone.
"Great… I'm stuck in the ocean realm without an engine, and the nearest inhabited island is 50 miles away. What am I going to do?"
Just then, Link noticed a small pirate ship sailing nearby. He quickly pulled out a regal ring. "Strange how they took my 500 rupee treasure and not the 2500 one…"
Link put down the ring and hid behind the one tree on the island, the ring catching the attention of the miniblin driving the ship. When it reached the shore, Link snuck up behind it, hit it with his boomerang, grabbed the ring, and jumped on the pirate ship. As he sailed off, he saw the squadron that stole his treasure. He prepped the ship's cannon, thought better of sinking them, and set a course to casually slip in with them.
Eventually, the squadron reached a large stone arch with a red triangle on top.
"A red warp gate? Why haven't I seen any of those? Where does it lead?"
Link didn't have to wait long to find out, as the lead pirate started shooting at the triangle to open the gate. The squadron ran into the red warp at full speed, with Link mentally preparing himself for whatever might await him on the other side.
"Where am I?" Conan groggily thought "all I remember was the ghost. I must have passed out. On the ceiling."
When Conan realized what he just thought, he looked around. The ground was a couple meters above him. He panicked and fell to the ground. When he reached up to rub his head, he realized he couldn't see his hand. Or any of his other various appendages for that matter.
"Ack!"
Conan started to rapidly feel around his body to make sure it was all there. It was, but his skin seemed rougher than normal.
"Wait… I have rough skin… I can't see myself…"
Conan picked up two sticks and held the ends together. As he started to pull them apart, he tracked them, one with each eye. Easily.
"Oh, great. I'm part chameleon now. This is the craziest day of my life. I just hope I don't start to suddenly eat flies…"
"Welcome to the aperture science human hybrid department, founded by Jeb Bachelder. You may have figured this out, but you are now part chameleon. Congratulations. Here, have some confetti to amuse yourself with. Testing will begin shortly."
A few pieces of confetti fell from the ceiling.
"Testing? That doesn't sound good. Where am I anyway?"
Conan looked around and found out he was in a large indoor forest. The room was domed and had a translucent ceiling to let in sunlight. There were also cameras everywhere.
"This should be interesting…"
"Wulf! You were supposed to get the one with the tattoo! Not firelord Azula!"
Wulf started saying something hastily in Spanish, but was cut off by a strange silhouette appearing on a screen in front of clockwork.
"Master!" he exclaimed in surprise. "I didn't know-"
"The girl will work."
Master cut the connection.
"Why did Master call so suddenly and say so little?" clockwork wondered. "Oh well…" he thought.
"Wulf! Put Azula in the alley! She must not see us when she awakes!"
When George woke up, he was sitting on a branch. Upon realizing this, the branch immediately ceased to hold his weight.
When he hit the ground, the first thing he did was feel the top of his head.
"Wait… why do I have three bumps? I only hit my head once." George thought after feeling the three bumps.
"Congratulations. You are now the first successful human grizzly bear hybrid. Testing will begin shortly."
The computerized voice, along with the shock of the fall, the bumps, and the mention of the word testing, caused George to immediately fall unconscious.
Another chapter in the craziest fic I'll probably ever write. Reviews please! virtual cookies for those who correctly guess the hawk's name!