"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you" - Christian Morgenstern

Driving was slow. I drove not really knowing where I was headed, apart from knowing I was headed away from Alaska. Every now and then I would move my eyes to the rear-view mirror. I wasn't checking for traffic.

My eyes had severely disturbed me as I had pulled out of the drive way. It seemed normal to see it on nomads, like their wild eyes were connected to their primitive lifestyle and the gentle gold of ours showed that we were tamer creatures. My own eyes had proved to me, that no matter how much you try to change yourself, it could always be undone in a heartbeat. Guilt washed around my stomach as I thought of the poor man in the forest, dying alone and cold. A sob escaped me and I slammed on the brakes, veering off onto the side of the road.

I switched the engine off and fell to the side, my head landing in the passenger seat. I lay there crying for hours. The pain I felt was not the same as the pain for Irina; it was more self-pity and disappointment.

Twilight had fallen outside of the car. The sky had begun to turn from a pale blue to purple, with stars winking through the clouds that drifted across them. I sat up and switched the stereo on. I fiddled with the stations. First I hit a rock music station. I wrinkled my nose in distaste and turned the dial again. The next station was a bunch of senators, debating on the global warming situation. I turned again. I had no patience to listen to old men talk about the problem rather than doing something about it. The next station was a hit for me. As I tuned in they were just announcing the weather.

"And in New Hampshire, the weather will be cloudy, with a small chance of rain. Now back to Randy, with the latest new music releases"

It reminded me of my plan. The Cullen's had moved to New Hampshire about five years after the incident with the Volturi. Carlisle worked in the teaching hospital, passing down his three hundred years of medical experience to the doctors of tomorrow. Esme designed and renovated old houses. She had managed to get Emmett and Jasper to work with her, doing all the heavy lifting. I wasn't entirely sure what Rosalie was up to, but I was pretty sure it involved her staring into a mirror and wishing her life was different. Alice had chosen to go to college again, along with Edward and Bella, whilst Renesmee was working on her high school diploma at home with Jacob.

I planned on going to Carlisle, in the hope that he would let me beg for his forgiveness and take me into his home. I knew I would have to change my behaviour. I couldn't go back to moping about Irina.

I twisted the key in the ignition and pulled away from the side of the road. It had become dark enough outside that any human would have needed bright lights to drive. I switched mine off and pushed my foot on the gas. Now that I had a plan, I felt the need to follow it through as quickly as possible. I accelerated down the darkened highways, watching the world go past me. I cracked the window and smelt the air. It was earthy and damp. I could smell the trees on the side of the roads, the small creatures that lived beneath them and the flowers that were trying to grow on the ground.

The highways were clear as it was so late. As I drove, my eyes flicked to the edge of the roads. The snow was melting, leaving patches of white all the way along the roadside.

Clouds drifted across the sky, covering the stars and moon. They were a dark and angry gray. As the sun rose, it didn't get much lighter outside. The clouds had covered the sky completely. Around seven in the morning, rain started to drop on my windscreen. It came slowly at first, gently tapping on the roof of my car. An hour later it had turned into a heavy downpour, soaking the surroundings. I flipped my wipers on and glared out of the windscreen. I never did like the rain.

At around midday, I drove into New Hampshire. I knew the way to the Cullen's house easily, having memorized the route before I left. It took me past Dartmouth College, the smallest of the Ivy League schools. As I passed shops and houses at a reasonable speed, the rain became lighter. Turning off at the correct junction, I found myself under a leafy green canopy of branches, so thick it almost blocked all of the light out. A few miles down the road, there was a secluded turn off.

I swung my car into it. This was it. The driveway to my new home.

Sorry for the appalling-ness that is this chapter. I had a bit of a mental block, and also I was really disinterested in this chapter as it is just her journey! EJ