Disclaimer: I do not own the following characters it all belongs to Sailor Moon. Sort of.

Chapter 3

'Walk. Don't run, walk, Slow. Walk; and Breathe, don't forget to breathe ,breathe. And don't fall apart. Oh God, Oh God. don't even think THE words. Stupid Serena. Stupid. Don't think THOSE words.'

Serena's disjointed stride staggered at the last thoughts, but continued onward desperately trying to move as fast as she could through the hushed hallways and booked lined columns to the girls' restroom on the second storey. Every shelf ended with a private study cubicle and each one was occupied by a student; bent studiously over texts, tapping essays into laptops, madly text messaging under the pretext of study – and Serena was apart to fall apart, loudly. A soggy, sodden mess disintegrating somewhere in the modern history section.

She was shaking.

Contrary to popular belief, Serena didn't always like to be the centre of attention. This was one of those moments.

Just a few more feet. Just a few more feet.

Breathe, walk, breathe, walk –Don't run. Slow and Steady Think about rocks think about turtles, think about rocks, turtles. Strong, steady, slow; almost there, almost there. With a barely repressed sob Serena Flung herself through the door and into the fluorescent lit haven.

The binder snapped beneath his hands, the cheap plastic leaving a shallow cut his palm. She wasn't in the hallway.

Ugly.

Stupid; useless, lying Girl – Did she really think he wouldn't have picked up on it, or that she would improve by lying at the first tutorial, passing off Amy's work as her own.

Ugly.

He was done with her. No, Darien promised staring down at his stinging hand-he would humiliate her and Then he would be done with the ungrateful, selfish useless little-

A nervous knock rapped on the wood of the open door, train of thought broken Darien's head shot up. A nervous Senior standing apprehensively on the threshold started back into the hall at Darien's furious face. " Ahh, um-we ahh, um ", He began-his stutter more pronounced under Darien's focus," Is everything Okay here? I mean we, um, we ,"

"Everything is fine thank-you. Just practicing some scenes for Drama club," Darien's cool response, belied the white face, but Darien quickly bought some time poiling up his texts books. When he looked up a mask of pleasant urbane boredom had slipped over, he even mustered up enough control to throw smirk and a wink to the two girls hovering in the hallway behind the nervous boy-the rest of the study group? The giggle and twitter that followed was so expected it was practically standard issue.

How much had they heard ? ...Ugly.

Darien gathered his books swiftly, keeping the scratched palm covered and moved smoothly to the entrance. He deliberately hovered over the smaller senior. "Hope we didn't disturb you?" Although posed as a question the tone was anything but conciliating, the boy gulped loudly and sizing up Darien's width and a sudden lack of personal space.

"Um, ah, um-no,no, no. We,we –we were done."

Darien had purposely moved on before the boy had even composed a reply -intentional, childish but a definite display of Alpha. Moving closer to the hovering girls and despite the more than adequate hallway, deliberately let his hip brush against the closest.

"Sorry"

"Don't mention it." Chirped reply.

He wouldn't, she was already forgotten- and if asked tomorrow he wouldn't have even been able to recall her hair color. Feeling validated and somewhat soothed he turned back to clap the smaller senior on the shoulder, "Sorry about noise mate, really."

"Oh,uh –oh .all good,d. Ahh"

Feeling his good guy character reestablished Darien went to move on, shifting his books to his hip and making his way through the three students towards the exit; but not before seeing a pair of serious eyes behind serious spectacles staring thoughtfully at him and then down at his hand. The second girl had moved up between her friends. Darien shot her a parting smile but didn't stop to register the reaction. It was a foregone conclusion. He hadn't made it too far down the hall when the natural acoustics carried their voices after him. It wasn't hard to pick who owned the deliberately affected high twang.

"Omigod –THAT was DARIEN SHEILDS. And he DELIBERATLEY bumped into me. Do you think I have a chance Christine?"

"I don't think you should Bella."

"Why not?"

"That girl, the one that ran out –she was crying her heart out and she wasn't acting."

"So?"

"Well... He was smiling..."

Darien's barely checked rage seethed over his recently established cool , only his control kept his pace slow and his hands loose, although the itched to clench-preferably around her neck. He would humiliate her.

Ugly.

Serena Flung herself in the girls' bathroom. The practicalities of the facility a relief as much as a haven. The current deserted state an even more welcome relief. Serena vigorously splashed cold water across her heated swollen face, running into her hairline and down into her collar. With a sigh she critically looked over the end result. Soggy, puffy, blotchy...soaking wet -Serena was not a delicate crier - not even her closest friends could say that Serena was a pretty crier, she heaved and sobbed like, " A wounded water buffalo" if she recollected one of Rei's more Flattering comparisons. If she moved quickly and kept her head down, pulled her hair forward she could probably make it out of the library and off school grounds without too much comment.

Unfortunately the mascara, a pathetic, redundant attempt for Darien's sake, had run and smudged raccooning her bleary eyes and forging unflattering tracks down her cheeks. With a sigh she grabbed some extra toilet paper harsh and scratchy, dabbed with industrial strength cleanser and set to work scrubbing off the most obvious tracks of smudged black to a less discernable shadow.

'Awesome,' quirked the imp, 'an extra from 'Night of the Living Dead'; really Serena- crying in toilet because of a boy. How cliché.' She huffed self derisively before turning to throw the sodden mess into the loo she'd just vacated. She stared at the unflattering reflection "Promise yourself-PROMISE yourself this will never happen again. Promise yourself you will never cry in a public toilet again talking to yourself like a mad person...promise. Can't, can you?" Serena's reflection stared back unconvinced, "Right – meet me halfway. Next time –Waterproof mascara." Her reflection just nodded sympathetically but didn't provide any for fruits of wisdom.

"I should just pack it in a fall down a rabbit hole-I bet I would fit in real well at that particular tea party.

Her ribs hurt from the wracking sobs she muffled in the cubicle.

What had just happened? Why? Just... why?

Did he really see her as that; useless, lazy, dumb? Was this her fault – was this how people generally and genuinely saw her? And Amy-did he really think she would take advantage of gentle Amy like that. It had taken weeks, months to get through to Amy .Amy that basically written herself off as a walking encyclopedia and had no grasp of her real social value; her friendship, her loyalty, sweetness, humor, quirkiness. Sometimes Serena couldn't fathom why Amy would even bother with her. In her darkest moments Serena questioned if her friends really liked her. She chalked it down to hormonal hysteria and low blood sugar, but sometimes, it crept up on her and she wondered, maybe just for a moment - if her friends really liked her, or did they simply tolerate her. The schools token special needs case. Did they all sit around and secretly wish she'd just disappear. Dumb, boy inept, lunch consuming -late. Dumb.

That was the defining factor, Serena's eyes closed, shoulders slumped, hands clenching against the soaking bench –bracing against the pain. When you're smart you can contribute. Study groups, respect, tutoring, homework advice. How far was the quirky, funny friend going to get?

Darien, Amy, Rei; even her little brother Sammy – they just got things, things just made sense.

Her eyes began to itch as she felt her chin quiver. Didn't he get it ? Wasn't he supposed to get it? Sometimes it just wasn't as easy for her to be as smart as them - didn't she hear it enough? Didn't she always get compared and measured up against other people enough. And when she did something herself – it was automatically doubted. She had just wanted a moment of help, no judging, no comparing, no questions. Just help. That spreadsheet had taken hours.

Like I don't know it. Like I don't know it ever bloody day.

I'm not quite enough.

Not smart enough.

Not good enough.

She felt her face begin to crumble - Fuck. She was practically encouraging a meltdown, talking herself into a breakdown!

"Oh -God, get a hold of yourself Serena, a meltdown in the library toilet. The right is reserved strictly for students with a B average – minimum."

Enough.

Mantra- Breathe, Breathe, breathe. Turtle. turtle. .

Serena opened her eyes. She was exhausted, hot and achy-in the way only an over long cry can leave you.

Home. . and at some point explain to her mother not only had she quit her complimentary tutorials but she had also managed to insult one of the most prominent school seniors in the process.

A senior that had apparently spoken to her personally.

Oh Fuck.

Breathe, Breathe, breathe. Turtle. turtle. .

The energetic splashing had turned the bench into a shallow pond, sending tsunami 's over the bench top - grabbed her sodden books from the bottom of the pile against her chest Serena turned and pushing the door with her back tripping out into the hall and directly onto another student.

"Turtle!"