Getting ready for school the next morning Freddie took a look in the mirror and was glad to see that, despite the nervous lump in the pit of his stomach, 'I'm going to deflower your best friend' was not tattooed across his forehead. Not that anything about Sam could be considered flowery, but still. Sighing, he ran a comb through his hair then made his way across the hall to get Carly for school.

The ride was quiet, his mom driving their hybrid while he and Carly sat in the back. He had his license but wasn't allowed to drive unless it was an emergency; wasn't even allowed to sit in the front seat because his mother was afraid he'd be suffocated by the airbag should they get into an accident. He'd tried to explain to her many times that he was now taller than she was (and legally capable of driving himself), but sometimes (almost always) there was just no reasoning with her. So he stared out the window and worried about his upcoming discussion with Sam instead.

Carly was bored. Mrs. Benson didn't allow the radio in the car (it was a crash-causing distraction), she wasn't allowed to listen to her PearPhone (it was rude), and Freddie was ignoring her for the passing scenery (seriously?). She entertained herself by pulling his phone from his bag to check what new music he had; if there was anything she liked she'd ask him to put it on her own. Browsing through his things she found something of interest. "Freddie, what's this?"

Freddie looked over at Carly to find her holding his phone, an eyebrow arched inquiringly, and he felt his insides drop. Stay cool, Freddie, he told himself. Don't give yourself away until you know what you're being accused of and what proof they have. Coincidentally he'd learned that from the blonde-headed demon herself… "Um…what's what?"

Waving the phone in front of him Carly grinned. "Well, I was checking for music and found… an app for delis with the best honey-glazed ham? Any particular reason you'd have this?" Aw. He was going out of his way to get Sam her favorite lunch meat…

"It was for Sam's birthday," he shrugged (what he hoped was) nonchalantly, ignoring his mother's questioning glance in the rear-view mirror.

Confusion marred Carly's features. "But you didn't get her ham, you got her that pretty little silver necklace with the…"

"Oh look at that – we're here!" Freddie exclaimed as they (thankfully) pulled into the school parking lot. "Thanks, Mom," he said, grabbing his phone out of Carly's hand and throwing the door open before the car had even come to a full stop.

"Freddie Benson!"

"Sorry, Mom." He tugged the door closed and waited for her to put the car in park, all the while avoiding Carly's eyes. Well, that was stupid: she knew he brought Sam food (and what he'd gotten her for her birthday); all he'd managed to do was make her more suspicious. He would make a terrible spy…

Carly got out of the car when Freddie did and threw a curious glance (and a pout) his way. Why would he lie to her?

"Fredward…"

Freddie looked back to his mother to find her pointing to her cheek expectantly. "Aw, Mom!" he sighed. When she didn't change her pose he shuffled back to the car and dutifully kissed her cheek. "You know I'm too old for this, right? All the kids are gonna laugh at me…" No more public embarrassments, his butt.

Marisa patted his cheek lovingly, "Only the delinquents, Freddie-dear." With one last pat she reversed and left them standing at the rear entrance to the school.

Noticing Carly's attempt to hide her amusement Freddie growled, "Don't even."

Carly burst into laughter. She may not be a delinquent but the look on Freddie's face was priceless: a mix of absolute mortification and haughty indignation.

"So, Freddie-dear, did Mommy tuck you in last night or did you just sleep in her bed again?" Sam teased from where she'd been leaning against the wall of the school waiting for them. Fortunately for her (unfortunately for him) she'd seen the whole thing.

Unable to condemn Sam for her mockery Carly just hooked the blonde's arm with her own and pulled her towards the entrance, still laughing.

Freddie turned a bright red as he followed the wildly cackling girls. He'd had no idea how today was going to go but this was definitely not the way he'd imagined it starting. At least now he knew that the deal he'd made with Sam hadn't changed anything between them…

Freddie was shuffling towards the AV room, planning on spending his free period looking for new tech they could use for iCarly, as he mulled over the day so far. He and Sam had only shared one class that morning in which she'd studiously (ha! 'Sam' & 'studious' in the same sentence) ignored him, and Carly had been with them at lunch, making any discussion about their 'arrangement' impossible. He was deciding between being resentful or grateful when he was jerked backwards by his bag. It was so sudden that he almost fell on his butt, managing only to regain his footing at the last second. "¿Qué…?"

Sam pushed him into the room and closed the door behind them, quickly locking it.

The sound of the door closing made Freddie open the eyes he hadn't even realized he'd closed, and he was spun around to come face-to-face with the blonde-headed demon. "No, Sam. Not…not here," he argued, waving his hands between them. There was no way his first time was going to be in a…storage room?

"Relax, Freddie; I'm not about to jump you. That would be as bad as the back of some dude's car." Wrinkling her nose at the smell of the filth and chemicals, she added, "Maybe worse."

Then why were they in a stinky janitor's closet? And how? He was about to ask but she must have seen it on his face. That, or she was just anxious to show off…

Holding up a ring of keys Sam twirled them around her finger, grinning proudly. She walked past him to the wall opposite the door and leaned against the shelves.

Freddie knew he should never question Sam's various and sundry skills but curiosity got the better of him. "How?"

Not missing a beat she smirked, "I made out with the janitor."

"Sam!" He knew he sounded scandalized but couldn't help it.

"God you're gullible, Freduardo," Sam rolled her eyes. "I stole them while the perv was pretending to sweep the hall outside the gym but was really gawking at the girls playing volleyball."

Freddie felt his nerves fraying again. "What if he reports them missing and we get caught?"

"And he tells Franklin what? 'They disappeared while I was watching underage boobies bounce up and down instead of doing my job?'" She shook her head dismissively. "No. That man-child is gonna search far and wide before telling anyone."

She was so confident that he almost believed her. "Sam…"

"Chill, dude!" she bit off, quickly losing patience. "I'll give them back when we're done."

Freddie decided to let it go; the last thing he needed right now was to get on Sam's bad side. Knowing her she'd tell Carly all about their deal and somehow convince her that it was his idea. "So, um, what did you want to talk about?" He was not going to be the one to broach the subject; it still didn't seem really real.

"The temperature on Mars," Sam deadpanned, giving him a 'you're such a nub' look.

He refrained from telling her exactly what the temperature on Mars was; as he saw this morning their little arrangement wasn't likely to stop her from beating him up if he annoyed her. Leaning back against the door he turned his attention down to his feet. "Look, Sam… I don't think I can do this." Suddenly it didn't seem like a very good idea.

Sam had to force the anger down so she could keep her voice level. "Why not?"

When Freddie looked up he thought he saw hurt in her eyes but wrote it off as a trick of the low light. "It's just, when I thought about my first time it was always with someone I'd been with for a while, you know? When the time was right…" The expression on Sam's face told him his attempt to explain was failing miserably.

"Why do I get the feeling that if I were Carly we wouldn't be having this conversation?" she asked facetiously, pushing herself off the shelf and moving towards him.

"It's not about Carly…" Freddie saw her coming towards him and held his hands out as a shield. "No, Sam…" He was surprised when her hand didn't ball into a fist but reached for the knob instead.

Sam took a deep breath and glared into his eyes; it took all of her self-restraint not to pound the boy into a pulp for toying with her. "Move, Benson," she growled through clenched teeth. She needed to get out of there and hit something.

Freddie blinked, realizing that it was indeed hurt that he had seen in her eyes. Taking her hand from the door to hold it in between his he clarified, "I just don't know how we go from this…" He used their hands to gesture between them. "…to suddenly having…"

When it became apparent he wasn't going to finish the sentence Sam rolled her eyes. "Sex, Freddie. Jeez."

"Yeah, that." He wasn't usually squeamish about the word but now that he was planning on doing it (maybe) it was a whole different story.

Eyebrow raised she scoffed, "Apparently Carly isn't the only priss…"

Ignoring the scorn Freddie continued, "I just want us to get to know each other better first…"

Sam couldn't believe this was the excuse he'd come up with. "Um…I know you've been wearing 'Carly' blinders for like, ever, Fredstalker," she gestured, "but we've known each other for going on 6 years now."

Freddie nodded, her hand still encased in his; he thought it was the longest she'd ever let him touch her. "Maybe, but I feel like I barely know anything about you – I'm still not sure whether or not Melanie actually exists…" He paused to give her a chance to enlighten him but she didn't. "Sam, you're like a riddle inside a mystery wrapped in a tortilla." When her lips quirked into a small smile (most likely due to the mention of food) he felt safer.

"You realize it's just sex, right? That you're not studying for an exam?" she pointed out. "There is no 'Sam' quiz where a pass gets you…"

"Ah!" He cut her off, afraid of whatever crude euphemism she might come up with. "It's still two people coming together – I think that maybe the closer we are the better it'll be." At least that's what he'd heard.

The earnest look on his face made her laugh. "Why are you such a girl?"

"Why are you not?" he countered teasingly. "Can you just humor me for once? Or is that against the Puckett code?"

This whole thing was going to backfire on her, she just knew it. "Fine; we'll do it your way." Sam disentangled her hand from his, giving him a look telling him he should be grateful she was conceding. "But just so you know, I wasn't about to force you into it, like, now. I just wanted to make sure my first time is better than my mother's was."

Freddie couldn't hide his surprise. "Your mom told you about her first time?" That was all kinds of inappropriate.

"Duh. Where do you think I got my 'first kiss' story?" Sam looked off in the distance the same way she had then, except there was a grimace on her face instead. "Of course it wasn't Cuddle Fish and it obviously wasn't just a kiss…"

"Gruesa…" Freddie cringed, covering her mouth so she couldn't continue. "You and your mom have a strange relationship."

Sam arched an unimpressed eyebrow and waited until he moved his hand. "Says the boy whose mother gives him tick baths…"

"I told you we don't do that anymore," he denied, his face heating.

The eyebrow rose higher, this time in disbelief.

Freddie rolled his eyes, beaten. "Fine. But she let's me do it on my own now!"

"Does she make you sign a 'tick bath' agreement?" Sam asked with a knowing smirk.

"Yeah." He lowered his head in shame.

She laughed but it wasn't cruel. Putting a hand under his chin she tilted his face back up to her. "You know what's sad?"

Freddie gave her a crooked grin, ignoring the feel of her hand on his skin. "What?"

"We're gonna have to schedule sex around all your mother's locura…"