Hey guys thanks for sticking with me! I'm glad you all like the story and the reviews are really helpful and encouraging. I know that I'm updating alot, but hey I don't think you mind that much. This is only because I'm leaving for four weeks soon and I really don't want to have to bother with updating, I just want to enjoy my last couple weeks of summer. I hope you don't mind to much, but I'm also going to a place where the wifi is effy...so anyways thanks for reading. Please review I love to hear what you have to say, even if it's negative. Negativity helps me to critic my story in way that more readers will enjoys!

I felt a small object jump onto my bed. The warm rays of sunlight hit my face. When I opened my eyes, my six-year-old brother was sitting in front of me giving me a toothy smile.

"Hey bud," I said rubbing my eyes.

"Ashwly can you driwe me to my frwiends house?" he asked, giving me a pleading look. I glanced out the window and noticed that my mother had already left for work. I took a look at my watch. Oh shit. I had to be at practice in 40 minutes.

I quickly changed and grabbed my bag, before shoving Sid out the door. His friend's house was literally on the opposite side of town. I made it to practice just in time.

"Alright now I know that we've had a few changes in line-up since last year. We have a new center, Davies, and a new defender, Emily. I want you to treat them like you would any other player. I will not tolerate any bullying, abuse, or back talk. You all saw what happened to Carmen. Don't think that you can get away with anything like that. We clear?" There was a 'yes coach.'

"Pair up," Coach yelled. I looked around and noticed that most of the others had paired up already. I pointed at Emily and she gave me a smile before coming over to me.

"Ah I see you two are paired together," Coach said coming over to us.

"How is everything? Nobody's been bullying you or anything?" I shook my head along with Emily.

"Good. If anything does happen you let me know immediately."

We scrimmaged for the rest of practice. I got a few pats on the back and a few 'thank god you replaced Carmen.' I felt pretty confident about myself. Nobody hated me; in fact I think everyone was glad that I had replaced Carmen.

Coach blew the whistle and beckoned us to come to the bleacher where there was a giant box. We watched as he started reading the names off the jersey and tossing them to the correct person. I glanced over at Spencer's and there was a big 'C' on the left chest. I heard my name and grabbed my jersey. My name was ironed on in white and a big #13 on the back. It popped out against the purple jersey. When I turned the jersey over I noticed that there was a 'C' just like Spencer's.

"Coach, why is there a captain's title on my jersey?" I asked him after the rest of the team had gone to the locker rooms.

"Spencer came and talked to me and asked if you two could be co-captains. I figure that it wouldn't be a bad idea, considering you're more experienced than anyone on this team."

"Thank you coach, but do you think that the team will like a noobie make captaincy?"

"I watched the way you interact with them; I think that they would actually support my decision."

"Thank you, Coach. It's an honor," I said before giving him a smile and heading towards the locker rooms.

When I got there the locker room was empty, except for Spencer, who was changing. I set my equipment down in my box that had 'Davies' written on tape.

"Here," Spencer said handing me a bag. I set my shirt down and grabbed the bag. Inside there was a rugby shirt, pinnie, warm-up pants, shorts, socks, shirts, and a team jacket.

"What's this for?" I asked looking at the clothing. All of them had King High Lacrosse and my name, "Captain Davies" written on them.

"Our uniforms…it's kinda a school policy," she said as she finished putting on her shirt.

"This school has a lot of policies," I said, "at least we don't have to wear uniforms." I rummaged through my bag, but couldn't find my shirt. Why now! I grabbed a shirt from the bag an threw it on.

"We had them last year, but they had to get rid of it because too many people protested against it."

"Let me guess, you were one of them…"

"Of course…I was not going to let this body go unnoticed in those gross polyester skirts." I burst out laughing.

"What are you doing later today?" she asked grabbing her bags.

"I have to pick up my brother in 20 minutes, then I'm free. Why?"

"Well since you're new I thought that maybe you would want to tour around and see what Ohio is like."

"I'd love to," I said shouldering my bag.

"Great so does 4 pm work for you?" she asked getting into her car.

"Yeah," I tried to respond casually.

"Great, I'll pick you up," she said closing the door. I leaned against the door and glanced at her through the open window.

"You do you I live right next to you…"

"Doesn't mean I can't pick you up," she said laughing. I pushed myself off her door and watch her drive away. She's doing something to me. I've never felt like this since Madison. I felt the butterflies in my stomach again. What am I going to wear?

I pulled up in front of Sid's friend house. I was amazed that he had already made friends in the first three days. He'll be just fine when he goes to high school. I knocked on the front door and a young woman opened the door.

"You must be Ashley, Sid's big sister. I'm Dana. Please come in," she said opening the door wider. I stepped into the house. There were toys scattered around the floor.

"I'm sorry about the mess," she said picking up some toys. I bent down and started to help her pick up the mess that was no doubt made by Sid.

"Don't worry about it," I said tossing the toys into a box. I joined Dana on the couch.

"Jess took the kids to a movie, but they should be back soon," she said, "You play lacrosse?"

"Yeah, I just got back from practice actually," I replied.

"My daughter made the team this year. I don't know if you know her, Emily?"

"Yeah, she's in the English class. This is actually my first year on the team," I said rubbing the back of my neck.

"Wow, and you're already made Captain. That rarely happens," she said wide eyed.

"So I've heard. I've played for a long time."

We heard the door open and two screaming kids ran into the living room. They shouted about how awesome Toy Story 3 was. Dana and I shared a good laugh. Dana got up and introduced me to the other person coming through the door.

"Hey Jess, this is Ashley, Sid's sister," she said introducing me to the women.

"Hey Ashley, it's a pleasure to meet you. Sid's an amazing little kid," she said pointing to the little child attached to my leg.

"You ready go," I said looking down at Sid. He nodded.

"It was nice meeting you Dana. Tell Emily I said 'hi'."

Sid followed me out to the car. I helped him buckle in. Throughout the car ride home I listened to how Woody tried to escape some daycare called Sunny Side and how a pink bear was an evil master mind. It was quite entertaining to hear a five-year-old try to explain all of this to you.

When I pulled into the driveway, my mother was just getting out of her car. She helped get Sid out of the car. I faintly heard him from upstairs recounting Woody, Sunny Sun, and evil pink bear to my mother. I glance at my clock…3 pm. I hopped into the shower and scrubbed all the sweat from my body.

I ruffled through my clothing. I found a pair of tan shorts and a light pink v-neck. I really need to get organized. I rummaged through my shoebox. I had to settle with my Sperry's because I wasn't able to find the other pair to any of my shoes. I peeked out the balcony and saw Spencer leaving her room. I quickly put on deodorant and a little make-up.

I ran down the stair grabbing my Patagonia vest and yelling a 'goodbye mom's I'm going out' to my mother. Spencer was already in my driveway. I let out a laugh considering she literally lived ten feet away and she was picking me up.

"So where are we off to first?" I asked buckling my seat beat.

"It's a surprise."

I thought that we were going to go into the city, but Spencer veered off to the right. I was a little disappointed, oh well; I guess I'll drag Sid with me. The house became more distant as we entered a forest. I gave Spencer a quizzical look, but she just smiled and continued deeper into the forest.

We parked on the side of the dirt path. Spencer got out and opened my door before I have my seat belt undone.

"So I know that I promised to take you look around, but I wanted to show something first," she said leading towards a path. We walked for a couple of minutes. The tree line thinned and a crystal clear lake came into view. It was the most beautiful place that I had ever seen.

"It's…so beautiful," I said my eyes still fixed on the sparkling water. I felt Spencer's hand wrap around mine and pull me towards the little beach area. The warmth of her hand surged through my hand, making me smile.

I followed her over to a rock where were she sat and leaned her back against it.

"Come here," she said patting the sand next to her. I slowly moved and sat down next to me.

"Is this place important to you?" I asked glancing over at her.

"My brother, the other one, Glen and I used to come here to get away from my parents when they were fighting. I come here to clear my head. When I'm here all my problem seems to disappear," she said resting her head on my shoulder.

"Where is you're brother?" I asked. I had already met Clay, but Spencer didn't really talk about Glen much.

"He's at the hospital," she said quietly looking out at the water.

"Does he work there?" I asked. She shook her head, and I connected the dots, "Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't know…um…"

"Ash, calm down. It's okay," she said trying to loosen the tension. She called me "Ash" I haven't heard anyone call me that since Madison died. I looked at her in surprised, before pulling my hand away. Spencer looked offended.

"I'm sorry, the only person who called me 'Ash' was Madison. I was just a little surprised," I said retaking to reassure her that I wasn't offended.

"I didn't mean too. It just slipped out."

We sat there apologizing to each other over and over until we found it to be pointless. The sun has set by the time we decided that it was time to leave. If I could have stayed in one place for the rest of my life, I would stay here. I marked it on my phone before we pulled away.

"So where are we going now?" I asked staring out the window.

"Well…we have early morning practice before school and after school," she said, "can I finish showing you around another time?" I nodded. I was getting a little tired myself, even though we didn't have school because of some professional thing, but practice wiped me.

Twenty minutes later we pulled up into her driveway. I didn't want out get out of the car but I could see how tired Spencer was. She had dark bags under her eyes and she was continuously yawning on the ride home. I got out of the car and walked her up toward her door.

"Thanks for taking me out Spencer. I really enjoyed it," I said giving her a quick hug. Everything about this girl was making my heart race faster than ever. We were both startled when the door flung open and a woman, who looked somewhat like Spencer appeared. A man came up behind her; he had blues eyes like Spencer. When he smiled, I would tell that Spencer had inherited the smile.

"Who is this Spencer?" her mother asked coming towards me. I slowly backed up until I hit the pillar.

"This is Ashley, mom," she said trying to get her mother to back away from me a little.

"Is this the girl you're seeing?" her father asked her. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Spencer blushing furiously.

"No mother. Ashley's on the lacrosse, she just moved here and I was showing her around," she said trying to hide her flushed cheeks and her embarrassing mother.

"Oh you're that Ashley. Spencer never stops talking about you," her mother said giving me a smile.

"MOM!" Spencer shouted trying to get her mother to stop. I think her mother got the hint but decided to embarrass her daughter a little more.

"Spencer hasn't brought her girlfriend home so I just assumed that you were her," she said quickly before retreating into the house.

"I'm sorry about her. She doesn't really understand limits," Spencer said sticking her hands into her pockets.

"It's what mothers do," I replied, "I should get going."

"I'll see you tomorrow them," she said before retreating back into the house.

I shuffled into the house. My mother and Sid must have gone to bed, because the house was dark and quiet. There was a bowl of pasta in the kitchen waiting for me. I heated it up and went up to my room.

I walked over to the balcony and stared out the opening. Spencer was in her room, dressed in her pjs. She was writing something in her notebook again. I watched her as she pondered on what to write. I saw her glance up; I quickly hid and waiting until she went back to writing. She got up and closed her notebook. The room went dark, and I knew that she had gone to bed.

"I don't think that I have ever seen you spy on people before," I heard Madison's voice in my subconscious.

"I wasn't spying," I spat out.

"Um yes you were! Ash I can see right through your lies."

"Fine! I was spying."

"Care to explain…"

"She makes me forget about the past, but it frightens me that I do. I don't want to forget about you Madison. She makes me feel like I'm turning over a new leaf."

"You're not going to lose me Ash. I will always be here, whenever you need me."

"I'm afraid that if I fall in love, that I will lose you forever."

"I want to see you happy more anything, and if that means I lose you then I lose you, but you will never lose me."

"Madison..." I opened my eyes. I felt the tears stream down my face. The realization struck me. I can either fall in love or lose Madison forever. I curled up on the bed and cried, letting all the angry, sadness, frustration, pity, and happiness flow out of my body.

"Ashlwy…?" I heard a small squeak come form the door. I peeked over my shoulder and saw Sid's small silhouette in the doorway.

"Why are you cwying?" he asked coming in and sitting on the bed.

"I'm just frustrated and angry," I said to him truthfully, "I'm angry because I'm guilty and I'm frustrated because I can't stray away from my guilt."

"Maddwy would want you to be happy…"

"I know she would," I said wiping the tears from my eyes, "I miss her so much Sid."

"I miss her too Ashlwy; she was famwee." That did it. I was full out crying when Sid's tiny arms wrapped around my neck engulfing me in a tiny hug for comfort. Madison was family to me.

thanks for reading! please review!