A/N: The song Broken heart by Radu Sirbu can be enjoyed along with this chapter.
Eddie was eating sunday dinner with the Reagans, and it was really rough. They had all taken her under their wing, because they knew Jamie's death had hit her hard. She had picked at her food again, and ate a little bit of it. She had lost a significant bit of weight and Erin was really worried about her. She had discussed this with Frank a few days ago. "Dad she's really thin. She hardly eats, and when she does it's very little. I'm concerned she'll get very sick. How can you let her work, if she's so malnourished." Erin said.
"She's a real fighter, she'll come around." Was all Frank said regarding the matter.
Today at dinner she ate more than usual, for Grandpa had made a hearty stew and Eddie seemed to love his stews. She had just finished her stew, when she remembered the time that Jamie and her had shared leftovers of this same stew, for lunch on a monday. She bolted from the table and upstairs, into Jamie's old room. Jamie had always said it was right at the top of the stairs, on the left. She hid under the covers and sobbed. "Dad can I talk to you." Erin said.
Erin and Frank went to the study to have a chat. "Something's really wrong with her. She ate more today, but did you see the way she bolted from the room. I bet she's in Jamie's old room." Erin said.
"This is very troubling. I'm not quite sure what to do about this. She seems to be taking this harder than normal." Frank noted.
"Dad I don't think they were just partners. I think something happened between them. I think they shared a kiss and may have had feelings for each other. Those rules kept them apart." Erin commented.
"The rules prevented a lot of things, but now it hurt my son and the woman he so clearly loved. She's in love with him, anyone can see it and she is so hurt, she loved him." Frank said.
"I'll go check on her. Just cover at the table. If Grandpa asks tell him privately later. I'm sure Danny already knows." Erin said.
Erin left and went upstairs, to go find Eddie. Sure enough she was exactly where she had predicted. "Eddie please come out." Erin said as she sat in the chair by the bed.
"No. The bed smells like him. I don't want to leave." Eddie said through her tears.
"Will you at least talk to me?" Erin asked.
"I guess." Eddie reluctantly gave in.
"Tell me what's going on in your head." Erin said.
"I can't think straight. Everything aches and I feel so alone. He's dead and he's never coming back. I still need him, it's not fair Erin." Eddie said in a frustrated tone of voice.
Erin reached out and rubbed Eddie's blanket covered back, in an attempt to soothe her. "I'm at a loss too. I don't understand why he was targeted or why he died. Dad's trying to keep himself composed, but at night he cries, alone in his room." Erin said.
"I have nightmares every night. I wake up drenched in sweat and I can't move my body, because I am frozen in fear. I watch him die over and over and over and I can't change anything." Eddie said.
Eddie came out from under the blankets, and nearly jumped off the bed to wrap her arms around Erin. "Whoa! Let me sit next to you on the bed Eddie." Erin said.
Erin climbed into Jamie's old bed and sat next to Eddie, wrapping her arms around her and letting her cry into her side. She was comforting this strong woman who, she had without a doubt in her mind, believed would have one day been her sister in law. "It hurts... I ache." Eddie struggled with words.
"I know sweetie. I feel your pain. Stay the night, I will too. You shouldn't drive home or be alone, when you are like this." Erin said
"Would..." Eddie couldn't finish her sentence.
"Dad would be fine with it. I'll stay in Joe's room across the hall, and Nicky can take my old room. If you need me in the night, I will be here." Erin offered.
"Thank you Erin. For everything..." Eddie trailed off.
Erin got up from the bed and gently kissed Eddie's forehead, before leaving the room. Eddie checked the dresser and wasn't at all surprised to find some of Jamie's clothes. 'He must have spent nights here recently.' Eddie thought as she dressed herself in a pair of his boxers and one of his NYPD long sleeved shirts. She crawled back into his old bed and under the covers, slowly drifting off to sleep, and more nightmares.