Chapter two
My breathing is still heavy when I arrive at the burrow. My pulse is still racing when I ward the door behind me, and when I sip my tea, my teeth are still chattering.
Lucius Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy. His name runs through my brain over and over again, but I still can't believe it. Even in my most lurid dreams I would have never imagined him as my stalker. I take two large gulps of tea and shudder. I shudder because I know that he has seen me in every way. Long time nemesis of my father's, the man who tried to kill me twice, has been watching me work, beg, and…and, oh Cerci.
I take a cigarette from my pocket and light it. I let the knowledge of what has happened sink in like poison. I'm not even aware that my clothing is still ripped as I inhale and think about what will happen when he comes back to the Burrow. And I am sure he will come back. He always does.
I remember reading about his wife in the daily prophet, or his late wife, as they put it. They said that she killed herself in her marble bath tub, and that Draco had found her. I can't remember if they mentioned Lucius in the article or not. It seems so long ago. I only saw her the one time, at the world cup. She was tall and beautiful, with perfect skin and teeth. But I was admittedly paying more attention to Harry than I was to her.
Lucius Malfoy. A trickle of fear rolls down my back, icy cold. He could have anyone. He's rich and gorgeous, but frankly a snob. I'm sure there are girls that would go for that sort of thing, I know there are.
So why? Why, of all the people on this earth, has he been following me?
There is something not right here. But when has it ever been right? Before the war? To tell the truth I can't even remember, I can't and I won't. Because to remember would be to know that there was something else. A different life. A better, happier life, that included Harry and me getting married and having seven, read headed, green eyed children. A life where mum and dad grew old together, and Fluer and Bill had twins. Where Ron and Hermione settled down, and bickered lovingly for the rest of their lives. A life where there was still family tea at the burrow on Sundays, and mum swore up and down that Fred and George would blow up the house with one experiment or another.
A life that disappeared with out trace.
Suddenly I feel exhausted. There is a lump in my throat, and I feel as though my soul is on fire. I cannot weep, not anymore, and this whole business with Lucius Malfoy has just been the icing on the cake. There are no words to describe what I am feeling. Suddenly I have an epiphany that my emotions are something more, or less, I'm not really sure.
Move on, my mind urges me. But my conscious cannot abide, I am stuck in this limbo between two lives. The first, before the war, when life was glorious and Harry Potter came to the burrow on his white horse, and we rode off into the sunset holding hands and making daisy chains. And the second? A life of looking through trash bins for food in between degrading jobs? A life where I have seen half of my family murdered in front of my eyes? A life where I am being pulled down by the undertow and in all the swirling I cannot even thrash for fear of falling apart.
Move on, my mind urges me again, but I cannot. I have nothing to move on to.
The next day I see Percy. He's still at the ministry, though from what I hear, he was demoted after Fudge was pushed out of office. Apparently Dad was right all along, they were using Percy to spy against our family. When I arrive to his office he is bent low over a stack of parchment that takes over half of the postage sized office. He is as pompous and sullen as ever.
"What happened to your face?" he looks up from his work and down his spectacles expectantly.
My hands reach unconsciously my jaw bone. There are bruises there left from the night before.
"Oh." I say surprised. I don't want to tell Percy about what happened. I don't want to tell him because he'll ask questions and want to inform the Magical Law Enforcement Squad, I cannot bear the thought of revealing Lucius Malfoy as my stalker. The man who has watched every moment of my life for months.
"Nothing" I say dumbly "an accident, it was stupid"
He looks suspiciously at me for a second but doesn't press the issue.
"You don't look well Gin" he says abruptly "you're loosing weight and you clearly are not sleeping."
Did you just notice? I long to ask him but I don't. Git, Fred and George were always right about him. The truth is I'm not sleeping. My night terrors are haunting me more regularly and I find myself looking around my room for signs of him. I can almost smell him if I close my eyes. If I close my eyes and hold my breath, I can feel him caressing my neck and shoulders. His fingers in my hair and his breath on my neck are something I have never known. It's killing me and keeping alive, he is what it is to be on fire and to be drowned all at once.
"-It's unhealthy Ginny, working with muggles, you're just like Dad…" Percy is still speaking but I can barely hear a word he's saying. I long to tell him to 'get bent', but I need the money that he's bound to give before I go. "Tomorrow night, and Lucius Malfoy-"
My head snaps up and I look at Percy with such unparalleled shock, that he stops speaking. "Ginny, what is it?" he says this with the air of indulging a child, but right now I don't care.
"What-um, what were you saying?" I ask tucking a hair behind my ears.
Percy pushes his glasses up on his nose indignantly and I can tell that he knows I haven't been listening to a word that he's said.
"Have you been listening to a word I've said?"
Ah, there we are.
"I was talking about the Wulfric's Eve Ball at the Fudge's Manor tomorrow evening. Honestly Ginny, just like Fred and George…"
He doesn't notice, but my eyes narrow dangerously at the mention of Fred and George's names. "We told mum that he was a humongous pile of rat droppings…" my mouth quirks at the memory, but he doesn't notice. Head in the sand as always. I need a cigarette.
"-Apparently Lucius Malfoy donated generously to the reconstruction of the Ministry and they've given him a position on the Board of Trusties for-" Percy coughs suddenly and turns Pink.
"Mr. Malfoy" he chokes out
I whirl around in my chair. The color is draining from my face and heart is palpitating. He is standing in the door frame looking impeccable. My mouth hangs slightly open.
Holy Hecate.
"Mr. Weasley" as he drawls my surname his lip curls and I think I know why.
"I, I don't know if you've met my sister. This is-"
"We have met Mister Weasley. Ginevra" he nods to me and for a terrible second our eyes meet and something unnamable passes between us.
I long to say something that will excuse me from Percy's office. Anything that will allow me to flee. But my throat is dry and I find myself rooted to my chair. He is so close to me that I feel faint.
"Percy" I say with tremendous effort "I'll, um; I'll let you get back to work. It was good seeing you." I stand and move quickly out of his office shutting the door behind me. Suddenly, as though someone flicked a switch, I no longer feel anything but dread at the prospect of meeting Lucius Malfoy face to face.
My hair has come out of its restraint as I speed walk to the lift. My mind is set on doing nothing except for getting as far away from Lucius Malfoy as humanly possible.
As I arrive at the lift there is a crowd of wizards and witches waiting. I shift anxiously, looking back over my shoulder as I do so. I don't know how he could know that I was going to be there.
I jump when I realize that the lift is opening and the crowd is moving on. I slip in between to forlorn looking wizards, and just as the lift is about to close again a man steps in.
Oh god
"Lucius!" booms the wizard to my left.
"Tunture" Malfoy drawls "it has been to long"
"Indeed" he says to the wizard called Tunture, but his eyes are fixed unnervingly on me. I tuck my hair behind my ears in a nervous gesture that I am sure he must know.
The lift is moving now and I wish beyond hope that he will get out at the next floor. But the next floor comes and goes. And then the next after that, all the while the witches and wizards around us are filing out.
Finally it is only us and Tenture, who seemes to sense the tension between the two, but possibly out of fear or respect for Lucius Malfoy, says nothing.
"Ah," he says at level four "that'll be me. Afternoon Lucius," he nods to Lucius "Miss" he takes his hat off to me and does a half bow.
As the doors close I know that we are horribly alone.