Having found no way to recussitate his fallen people, Fereydoon left the pocket dimension, killing the fuck out of it with the Gunstar Hero ARM he stole from Fairydoon. Fereydoon turned on Kartikeya, the epitome of samurautist evolution, attempting to kill him. He failed miserably, and was torn asunder by the sacred dickfire of Kartikeya's middle finger. Slathering himself in the blood of the last asperninja, Kartikeya killed the fuck out of Volsung with Fereydoon's asperspleen. Fereydoon was not actually the last asperninja, though, for there is one survivor, a descendant, he left behind. Fereydoon had actually awoken not once from his coldsleep, but twice; the first time was around 12,000 years ago. At that time he fathered a most beautiful daughter with a particularly open-minded samurautist. This halfbreed became a psycho bitch known as the Ice Queen. She lives on as Avril Vent Fleur, the daughter of the last pedigree asperninja, the last remnant of her kind, even if only half-assed.

Kartikeya decided he would be the vanguard of the New Filgaian Order. But first, he had to become a homosexual. Using the computer in his left arm, he searched for gay porn. Unable to get a boner, he became furious at his inability to become the world's first homosexual and batshit mad leader. He was so furious, he ripped his dick off and drew a ley point with it. It was a new type of HEX, the cockblood HEX. Stepping into a cockblood HEX will turn any male samurautist homosexual immediately. But it still didn't work, and his penis regenerated. Kartikeya laughed. His laugh was not one of sick pleasure, but rather of sick desperation; he set out to have a sex change operation. On his way to Laila Belle to have his dick cut off for good, he bumped into Avril, who did not help the situation. He was so frustrated with who he was, yet his dick was so hard, he ate his helmet and set his jockstrap on fire. Avril laughed.

"Where is da salsa factory, booooiiiiii?" her voice was the voice of a horse composed of yttrium and laser eye surgery.

He grinned a fangy grin. "It's right up here." He pointed up his dickhole. His dick was exposed because he was naked.

"Alrighty booooiiii, you asked for it~"

The sex which followed was so brutal, it bisected Filgaia; Filgaia A, of the western hemisphere, careened into the Milky Way Galaxy where it merged with the crumbs of Hyades, forming Hyades II. Filgaia B regenerated the half which was blown off, except the new western hemisphere of Filgaia was made of poisoned razorblades and its flora were made of feathered matchheads and sublimating condoms. The western hemisphere also had no government. Kartikeya got an idea. A wonderful, evil idea. He laughed.

Tearing off Avril's left arm, Kartikeya dusted off a golem which had been exposed by the cataclysm, and writ upon the golem, in Ice Queen blood, the New Filgaian Order:

1. All hawks wear pants.

2. Humans shall be sent to Hyades II where they shall be used as beasts of burden and food. If any human shall dare act as if it is a form of samurautist life, it shall deftly be slapped with a dragon dildo crafted from the foulest of rusty golem cocks.

3. No attempts at necromancing Faggydoon shall be made. Do I make myself clear?

4. Water is illegal. All shall drink Johnny Appleseed and human blood. Humans shall drink their own urine.

5. If Persephone challenges you to a poker tournament, she's too fat.

6. If thou calleth my legs "shoes", don't.

7. My chin is a shark. Worship it.

8. My hair is not flammable, but my helmet is food. Should a loyal follower find his or herself in desperate need of sustenance, a piece of my helmet welcomes you.

9. I hate the number 9 for it reminds me of that fairy asperninja faglord. It is banned from here on out.

10. There is no number 10 for there is no unspeakable number which proceeds it. After 8, there are only types of Hyadan monsters. The new number system is as follows:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, mosquito, cockroach, hyena, and so on and so forth, until you reach hawk x fish, which equals elephant. Elephant is the square root of infinity.

Kartikeya reattached Avril's arm and they got busy again. They did not split Filgaia in half this time but they did kill all life within a 50 mile radius, except for Houser, who witnessed it all. Kartikeya laughed.