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Non Compos Mentis
By OcelotKitten
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Snape's first thought on the return trip to consciousness was that he was going to get Neville Longbottom expelled if it was the last thing he ever did. Groggily, he took stock of himself. His ribs seemed to hurt much more than he would have expected, but not much else did. But he felt very strange, almost out of place in his own body. He shook off the sensation, and opened his eyes.
Pushing himself up into a sitting position with a groan, he noticed blearily that he was in the Hogwarts Infirmary. Looking to his right, he saw Dumbledore, and . . .
Oh shit.
Frantically, he felt his own face. Smooth, boyish skin, perpetually rumpled hair, and that damned scar. Snape buried his face in his hands with a groan. "Severus, is that you?" he heard Dumbledore cautiously say. Snape automatically snapped, "Yes, of course it's me, who else would it be?" Then the incongruity of the statement struck him, and he snorted mirthlessly.
He looked past Dumbledore at . . . himself. "Potter?"
"Yes, Professor." It was so very strange hearing his own voice come back at him. "Severus, how could this happen?" Dumbledore asked. Snape swung his legs off the edge of the bed, and found that they no longer reached the floor in the high hospital beds. With a curse, he swung his legs back up. "It had to have been Longbottom's potion. Something reacted with it and gave it unexpected results."
"Do you have any idea what?" Dumbledore said. Snape grimaced. "No idea. Although, it shouldn't be too difficult to figure out," he said dryly, "Even though there were about a thousand ingredients on those shelves, they were all carefully organized and documented."
"Well, there's nothing else for it but to get cracking."
"Albus," Snape said, incredulous, "I refuse to believe that even you could be so blasé about this."
"Severus, there is no point in getting hysterical about it," Dumbledore said gently, "This is undeniably a very serious situation and I assure you that I am being anything but blasé."
"Excuse me," Harry interrupted, "What are we going to do if we can't figure out a way to fix whatever went wrong? I don't want to be Snape for the rest of my life."
"I assure you, Potter," Snape said coldly, "that I have no desire to remain as you, either." Interrupting smoothly, Dumbledore said, "Gentlemen, please. Calm down. Now, Severus, how long do you think it will take to figure out what caused this?"
"There is no way of knowing, Albus. It could take a few days, it could take weeks . . . and it may be never. There is simply no way of knowing."
"Well, once Pomfrey gives the both of you a clean bill of health, you should start getting acquainted with each others lives." Snape and Harry both looked at Dumbledore with identical blank looks. The Headmaster said with a trace of irritation, "I have no intention of losing either of you for the amount of time it would take to work out a cure. The two of you are simply too valuable, both to the school and . . . otherwise. You will have to assume each other's positions for however long it takes. Unless of course, Severus, you'd rather teach your class as Mr. Potter? Or would you, Harry like to live in Gryffindor tower as Severus?"
They both grimaced. The ensuing mental images were proof enough of the headmaster's rightness. "You are right, of course, Albus," Snape said. Harry chuckled, "Although, the look on Ron's and Hermione's faces if they see Snape being nice to them would be worth it." Dumbledore gave him a sharp look, and he said sternly, "I was entirely jesting when I suggested you going to Gryffindor tower, Harry. The less people know about this, the better. What if word got to Voldemort from one of the students that either of you were incapacitated in any way?"
The room lapsed into sober silence. Snape's status as a renounced Death Eater, and Harry's as The Boy Who Lived made them both targets in the war against Voldemort. Any one of the students who had parents who were Death Eaters and themselves aspired to join the ranks were entirely capable of passing sensitive information along.
Dumbledore stood and stretched. "I'll leave you two to get . . . acquainted," he said with a chuckle that earned a glare from Snape, "I will return this evening to see how you are doing." And with that he was gone. Harry turned to Snape with a grin, "So, do you want to go first or should I?"
Non Compos Mentis
By OcelotKitten
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Snape's first thought on the return trip to consciousness was that he was going to get Neville Longbottom expelled if it was the last thing he ever did. Groggily, he took stock of himself. His ribs seemed to hurt much more than he would have expected, but not much else did. But he felt very strange, almost out of place in his own body. He shook off the sensation, and opened his eyes.
Pushing himself up into a sitting position with a groan, he noticed blearily that he was in the Hogwarts Infirmary. Looking to his right, he saw Dumbledore, and . . .
Oh shit.
Frantically, he felt his own face. Smooth, boyish skin, perpetually rumpled hair, and that damned scar. Snape buried his face in his hands with a groan. "Severus, is that you?" he heard Dumbledore cautiously say. Snape automatically snapped, "Yes, of course it's me, who else would it be?" Then the incongruity of the statement struck him, and he snorted mirthlessly.
He looked past Dumbledore at . . . himself. "Potter?"
"Yes, Professor." It was so very strange hearing his own voice come back at him. "Severus, how could this happen?" Dumbledore asked. Snape swung his legs off the edge of the bed, and found that they no longer reached the floor in the high hospital beds. With a curse, he swung his legs back up. "It had to have been Longbottom's potion. Something reacted with it and gave it unexpected results."
"Do you have any idea what?" Dumbledore said. Snape grimaced. "No idea. Although, it shouldn't be too difficult to figure out," he said dryly, "Even though there were about a thousand ingredients on those shelves, they were all carefully organized and documented."
"Well, there's nothing else for it but to get cracking."
"Albus," Snape said, incredulous, "I refuse to believe that even you could be so blasé about this."
"Severus, there is no point in getting hysterical about it," Dumbledore said gently, "This is undeniably a very serious situation and I assure you that I am being anything but blasé."
"Excuse me," Harry interrupted, "What are we going to do if we can't figure out a way to fix whatever went wrong? I don't want to be Snape for the rest of my life."
"I assure you, Potter," Snape said coldly, "that I have no desire to remain as you, either." Interrupting smoothly, Dumbledore said, "Gentlemen, please. Calm down. Now, Severus, how long do you think it will take to figure out what caused this?"
"There is no way of knowing, Albus. It could take a few days, it could take weeks . . . and it may be never. There is simply no way of knowing."
"Well, once Pomfrey gives the both of you a clean bill of health, you should start getting acquainted with each others lives." Snape and Harry both looked at Dumbledore with identical blank looks. The Headmaster said with a trace of irritation, "I have no intention of losing either of you for the amount of time it would take to work out a cure. The two of you are simply too valuable, both to the school and . . . otherwise. You will have to assume each other's positions for however long it takes. Unless of course, Severus, you'd rather teach your class as Mr. Potter? Or would you, Harry like to live in Gryffindor tower as Severus?"
They both grimaced. The ensuing mental images were proof enough of the headmaster's rightness. "You are right, of course, Albus," Snape said. Harry chuckled, "Although, the look on Ron's and Hermione's faces if they see Snape being nice to them would be worth it." Dumbledore gave him a sharp look, and he said sternly, "I was entirely jesting when I suggested you going to Gryffindor tower, Harry. The less people know about this, the better. What if word got to Voldemort from one of the students that either of you were incapacitated in any way?"
The room lapsed into sober silence. Snape's status as a renounced Death Eater, and Harry's as The Boy Who Lived made them both targets in the war against Voldemort. Any one of the students who had parents who were Death Eaters and themselves aspired to join the ranks were entirely capable of passing sensitive information along.
Dumbledore stood and stretched. "I'll leave you two to get . . . acquainted," he said with a chuckle that earned a glare from Snape, "I will return this evening to see how you are doing." And with that he was gone. Harry turned to Snape with a grin, "So, do you want to go first or should I?"