"Do you love me, Reborn?"

What an idiot. Honestly, who could love someone like him? It would take a really stupid sort of person to even want to be with him at all. The only sort of good thing about him was his body; that perfectly toned physique. Those muscles, those abs, that ass… Years of training and being in the military sure turned him into one sexy man. If only his brain was as well-toned as his legs. Sometimes a lobotomy for him was really tempting. But then again, if he were a vegetable, he wouldn't be able to do much besides lay there, and that was boring after a while. And you don't come by his sort often enough. So for now, I had to just deal with his stupidity and 'feelings' until that bored me as well. After all, if I had to tell the truth, as much as I hated how idiotic he was, it was both amusing and entertaining. You couldn't really expect what stupid thing he would do next, which I suppose I had to credit him for. It kept things interesting.

Though this turn of events, I could do without. There was only so much idiocy I could take before I snapped. Especially when said idiocy came from myself.

"Do you love me?"

Really, now. I was being as stupid as him.

It felt like a proposal, the way he said it. It was like he wanted to go steadier than we were. Like he wanted to tie the knot or some absurd thing like that. How could I agree to such a thing? Being tied down was the thing I hated the most. I got bored fast, and being stuck to one person forever was the most boring thing in the universe, next to watching paint dry. And even then, you could always watch paint with someone else. So to tell him 'I love you' would not only be a lie, but it would force me into staying with him for eternity. That was how it worked with guys, right? You didn't marry, you just say 'I love you' and that's your vow to being together. Done and done. …At least, that's the way I did things.

Sighing, I looked up from my laptop, narrowing my eyes at the sounds coming from the next room over. Either Tsuna had Gokudera over again, or someone was rearranging their room. Actually, considering the volume of the noise, it sounded like it was coming directly beside my room. Which meant it was coming from Colonnello. For a moment, there was a certain sense of dread in my chest. Not the sort of dread of him suddenly becoming a home decorator, however. As scary as that was, there was something much scarier in mind. Closing my laptop, I stood and swept out of my room, none of my inward worries showing on my perfected poker face.

"Colonnello, what are you doing in there?" I knocked on the door, stopping the sounds from inside for a moment before it started again.

"Do you love me, Reborn?"

How long ago had he asked me that? Two weeks? One? It felt like forever, accentuated by my ever building frustration. I wondered why I didn't just go look for someone else after all this time. Could it be that's what he's doing now? It was weird...hesitating like this. I wasn't scared of seeing him screw someone else! In fact, I would be happy if he did! That meant...that meant I could go out and find someone else! But why was I still so nervous? God, why was I being so stupid right now?

"Oi! Did I tell you you could come in, kora?"

Breathing an inward sigh of relief to find everyone in the room fully clothed, I stepped in the rest of the way and eyed the open suitcase on the bed. "What's this?" I asked, motioning to the open drawers and general mess all over the floor. It looked like his bookshelf had fallen over and spilled its contents all over the room. But instead of an answer, the blond just returned to his work. "Hey, I'm talking to you. What's going on?"

"Fon didn't tell you?" he murmured, now that I had him pulled up to my face by his collar.

"Tell me what?" I growled, tightening my grip. I haven't really talked to Fon much at all, really. He'd taken over watching Tsuna for me lately, and always looked too tired to bother most of the time.

"...I'm moving out, kora," came the whisper after what felt like forever.

For a moment, my expression faltered. Somehow, I don't know how, but this was worse than I anticipated. Why, though? It wasn't like he was going back to England, or Italy, or America or anything. He'd just be in the city. In fact, it meant I didn't have to deal with his stupidity every single day! But why did I feel so cold right now...?

"Idiot," I grumbled, letting him go with a shove. "Why do something like that? You get free room and board here. You have instant access to your student! Why would you decide to waste money on an apartment or hotel room or whatever? Unless you're going to move in with Lal?" I asked, my tone suddenly growing way darker. Much more than I intended.

"Tch, hell no. I don't want to listen to her and Luce all night," he grumbled back, shoving more clothes into his suitcase.

"So you're going to live by yourself. Again: why."

Here, he paused again, glaring downwards. "The fact...that you haven't realized it yourself is the perfect reason, kora," he murmured again, shoving the case closed finally.

"Now, hold on a minute here," I said, stepping up and catching his wrist so that he would face me. "You've been avoiding me for the past two weeks, then suddenly you spring this shit on me. What the fuck is wrong with you? What the hell! Is this all because I wouldn't let you ruin my reputation by fucking me? God, you say not to treat you like a woman, and then you go and act like one in every possible way!" By now, I had very clearly lost any resemblance of calmness I had. Usually I didn't care what other people thought of things I did. I did something, they dealt with it, and that was that. Negative, positive, they were all the same. People come and go. I don't know if I was still affected by Luce's leaving me or not. But the thought of not waking up each morning to the idiot's snoring was... No, I was getting too soft. Was I getting attached? I couldn't be. I couldn't afford it! I was a hitman, he was a soldier. We both could be called out to fight and, or die any second. There was no time or room for relationships!

"See, that's what I mean! You don't treat me like an equal at all, kora! And until you do, then I'm not going to live in the same house as someone as you!" he yelled, cutting into my thoughts before grabbing his case and storming out of the room.

Watching him go, the inner walls of my hardened shell started to crack. It took everything in me to not run out there after him, apologizing, begging for him to stay, pleading that he kisses me once more. Because those were stupid things to do. Because I didn't love him, they were stupid, useless things to do. But if I didn't love him, then why did my chest hurt? If I didn't love him, then why did I want to do those things so badly? If I didn't love him, then why did I keep having to tell myself that I didn't?

I really was an idiot.

Shaking my head, I sank on his filthy, messed up bed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I laughed. Of course we would see each other again! He had a student to take care of! And his student lived here with me. There would be no choice for him to come here! Plus, this city was so small. There was really no way someone could avoid another person without becoming some sort of reverse stalker. And Colonnello was nowhere near that level of intelligence.

Aha, I'd been spending too much time with that idiot. It had rubbed off on me.

"Oh...I suppose I should have figured from all that yelling..." Looking up quickly, I wished I hadn't left my hat in my room for Leon to sleep on. I could use some shade to hide any possible redness in my eyes. "...I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner... I..." falling silent, the Chinese man looked away, his sleeve hiding his lower face.

With a sigh, I stood back up and patted his shoulder as I passed him by. "Doesn't matter. It's not like we broke up or-" Cutting myself off, I stopped and blinked. So that was it. That's why it hurt so much. It wasn't that he was leaving that I was worried that I wouldn't see him again. It was that, by my standards, this was the same as a divorce. A break-up. Colonnello had moved on...without me. Clenching my fist and jaw, I bowed my head, any sadness now melting into anger. Only I could move on without others! Only I could leave behind a trail for someone else to clean up! How dare he do something like this to me!

"R-Reborn."

Holding myself back to keep from punching in Fon's face, I turned to him, sober once more.

"He really does love you, you know. But he's like a child when it comes to this sort of thing: lost and confused. Lal was his first love, and what happened with that left him with no idea on how things are supposed to go. So...I think it would be best, if you tried to win him back," he smiled softly, reassuringly.

"And what good would that do?"

"Show him love in return. I understand, that's not exactly your style, but-"

"But nothing," I snapped, stalking over to my bedroom door. "Showing love would only delude him into thinking I loved him back. And doing that would only hurt him more when the truth comes out!" Closing the door with a snap, I dropped myself on the bed, arm over my eyes. My head hurt, my chest hurt, my eyes hurt... I didn't want to think anymore. Colonnello was leaving, Fon was trying to get us back together again, and I didn't want that. None of it! Tch, why couldn't that blond dunce just...be happy with what I gave him, instead of demanding more? You really could never tell what moronic thing he was going to do next...

A week. It had been a whole week since he moved out. Instead of coming over to train Yamamoto, he simply called and took the boy out to the cliffs to do training there. And I seemed to have misjudged the size of the city, that even when I went off to go do my jobs, I couldn't find the man anywhere. Of course, I knew where he moved to: a cheap, almost slummy apartment where every night you at the risk of being broken in. But it wasn't like I could go there and see him. That would show weakness! It would show that I cared about him more than I did! But, I… Did I miss him? Sometimes after a hard day's work, without thinking about it, I would find myself sitting in his empty room. Just sitting there. Possibly trying to breathe in the last of his scent, though God knows why, the man stank like a pig. I don't know how long I would sit there for, until I would come to my senses and scold myself for being such a sentimental sap. I don't know how long I have to keep telling myself that I didn't miss him until my body accepted what my brain was telling it to do. I don't know how much longer this could go on for until I forgot about him completely.

"Reborn, may I speak to you for a minute?"

Snapping my head up at the sound of Fon's voice, I realized I was in Colonnello's room again. I didn't remember walking there…no, I never remembered coming in here when I did. "What is it?" I asked, standing up, trying to play my confusion off as nonchalantly as possible. But the man just silently walked away, heading into his own room down the hall. Once I followed him and closed the door, he turned to me, his previous expression of mild concern now rather angry.

"I'm sorry to say this, Reborn. …But frankly, you're being a coward."

Freezing in place, only my eyes narrowed at the man. Which he took as a cue to continue.

"You're running away from your real feelings. I understand, you have a reputation, you don't want commitment, you don't want to look like you're weak, you don't want to be associated with someone like him… But face it! Almost every day I find you sitting in that room looking absolutely heart-broken! You're being nothing more than a love-struck coward, too scared to fix the mistakes you made and wanting them to mend themselves on their own!"

"I am not a love-struck coward! I don't give two shits about him and I never have!"

"Then tell me what you're always doing in his room, then?"

Turning sharply on my heel, I gritted my teeth and adjusted my hat to hide my eyes. "…I'll show you who's a fucking coward," I growled after a second or two before storming out of the room. Coward, my ass!

Though twenty minutes later, I started to wonder if maybe Fon had something going with that whole coward thing. Even though I considered myself one of the bravest people I knew, there was a certain sense of dread around me as I stood in front of his door, waiting for him to answer my knock. Maybe I could make him think a kid was pulling a prank on him. Ring and ditch or whatever it was called. But before I could, the door unlocked and he swung it open. For a moment, he stared in surprise, not saying a word…until I shoved the bouquet I brought to him.

"What the hell…? Is this some sort of joke, kora?" he snapped, ignoring the flowers pressed against his chest.

"No. It's a present."

"It's a girlypresent! And I'm not a girl, kora! No guy would want fucking flowers as a present!"

"Look, you insensitive prick," lowering the bouquet, I grabbed his jacket front with my free hand, pulling him close once more. "Just accept the damn gift for its fucking meaning instead of getting all machismoon my ass." Shoving him away, I threw the flowers at him again, and strode off. Tch, I should have gotten him something cheap like pansies. Yellow and red tulips, red roses…what made me think he would understand their meanings? Pansies meant the same thing; they were just so much cheaper. Plus he was a pansy. So that would have been an added bonus!

"That was a good start, Reborn. Though you should have expected that reaction from him."

"You followed me?"

"Of course. How else would I have been able to see you stop being a coward?"

"Tch…"

"Try again in a couple days, alright? He should soon realize what you're trying to say. Don't give up," he smiled, patting me on the shoulder as he started on our way back home.

I wasn't so sure about this. It was like I was courting another man who I had already bedded many times. I saw no purpose, no reason. My skills as a suave gentleman were being wasted on some punk soldier, who on his days off would be found sitting in front of his apartment cleaning his guns with a can of beer by his side. I didn't even know he drank. Though luckily, the few times I came over he was never drunk. Otherwise he might have shot me if I gave him a present he didn't like. It certainly was difficult, choosing a gift he'd approve of. I gave him the fanciest chocolates I could find, a pure white-gold chain for his dogtags, a bottle of wine, a bottle of expensive beer, a new bandana, a gun cleaning kit… I was running out ideas of what other possible things he could like. I was on my breaking point. All this lovey-dovey crap I was going through and he continued to stick his nose up at me. If it weren't for Fon constantly giving me hell about getting Colonnello back, I would have just gone to the nearest brothel every night instead of trying to figure out a way to crack into the idiot blond's head.

"I think I see your problem," Fon spoke up, looking up from my laptop he was borrowing. I gave a noncommittal grunt in reply, not bothering to lift my head from the kitchen table. "You're still treating him like an object. It says here that gifts are fine…but they can't be the only thing used to win someone over. What you are doing is treating him like something you can buy. Which means you should ask him o—"

"Fuck that, I give up."

Sighing, Fon patting my head comfortingly. "Just once, alright? If he still doesn't see your efforts, then…well, there's no hope for him anymore. So go on, take him out to dinner or something tonight. I'll watch the kids."
Leaning just my chin on the table, I studied the man's face for a moment and sat back up. "Just this once…" I grumbled, standing up.

After washing up and making myself look as presentable as possible, I headed out to that moron's apartment to find him once more sitting outside his door. Though he wasn't cleaning his guns. He didn't even have them with him. Not even his usual can of beer was there. He was simply leaned forward, arms against his knees, staring out to the city, a blank expression on his face. He didn't even budge when I stepped up beside him.

"Hey, what do you want to eat for dinner?" I asked bluntly.

"…Would you be sad if I killed myself, kora?" he whispered, still not looking at me.

Needless to say, this question brought upon many sudden feelings, several of which I was unfamiliar with, and a few that I knew all too well. I didn't know how to respond, or react. So I just went with the one I was the most familiar with.

"Idiot! Don't you dare say things like that!" I yelled, smacking the back of his head with my palm. Thinking about it, if he was contemplating suicide because of how I treated him, this was probably the stupidest thing anyone could ever do.

"Takeshi was telling me about it…" he continued, as if there was no interruption, as if I had just stayed silent the whole time. "He said that it was one of the most…it was like he figured out a math problem perfectly, that the answer felt right. The most right an answer could possible get, kora. Like there's no other answer the question could have. I think…I think I know what he means, kora…"

My blood ran cold. "What the fuck? Colonnello, this isn't funny! Stop your playing around already, this isn't the thing you joke about!"

"Did I say I was joking, kora?" he murmured, finally looking up at me, his eyes as expressionless as his face. Then, before I could snap out of my surprise, he stood and went inside, closing the door behind him.

"Colonnello!" Returning to my senses, I grabbed at the handle, to find he'd locked it. "Colonnello, let me in!" Pounding, yelling, I could hear the blood rush past my ears as my heart raced with panic. When was the last time I felt this scared? This uncontrolled? Grabbing Leon off my shoulder, I shoved his lock pick form into the keyhole, my hands shaking too much to even get it in right. "Colonnello, unlock this door right now!" I called out again, throwing my entire body against the wood. But still is held strong. Though suddenly, I stopped, the roaring in my ears replaced with ringing as I heard the unmistakable sound of a gun firing. For several seconds I was frozen yet again. I wanted to run away, I didn't want to see it. But maybe it was a fake gun? Used only to scare me? What if this was one of his usual pranks? What if it was just from one of the neighbors?

I decided to take the chance.

Giving up on everything else, I grabbed Leon again, who turned into my usual handgun, and blasted the handle off the door. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I stepped over the threshold, the place just as messy as I expected. But I didn't pay any attention to my surroundings. "Colonnello!" Calling out again, I raced through the tiny apartment, turning down a short hallway, which lead to the sitting room. Which was where I stopped, my eyes wide in horror.

"No…no. No, no, no, no, NO!"

I screamed.

Gripping my hair, I screamed in pain as I stared at his limp form, lying in a pool of blood, the wall and couch splattered with his remains.

"You idiot! You idiot! I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! I was trying to tell you I was sorry!"

When was the last time I cried this hard? When was the last time so much of me hurt at once?

"I do love you! That's what you wanted to hear, wasn't it? I love you, I'm sorry, please don't g—"

I wondered how many times I could be taken by surprise before my heart gave out. For as I crawled over to his lifeless form to just hold him until he went cold…I found he was already cold. And stiff. Like he'd been dead for hours. But, that wasn't possible. Turning him around, I scrambled back, slipping in the blood, his faceless body staring back at me. No sound came from my mouth. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or pissed off. Especially as there were footsteps behind me.

"So…you do love me, kora?"

Clambering to a stand, I turned to him, trembling, my face still wet and streaked with tears. Once more, the only reaction I could muster together was anger. "You…you bastard…" But even then I could barely manage that. I was already so vulnerable.

"I'm sorry, Reborn…" His arms wrapping around me, I leaned my face against his shoulder, my arms limp at my sides.

"I hate you, you bastard… Don't do that again…" I sobbed, trying to gather myself, but failing. For so long, I was collected, never showing sadness or remorse. For so long, all those feelings were pushed down and hidden behind a dam. And now that dam had been broken and all those emotions that had been suppressed were now spilling out faster than I could stop them. Letting Colonnello lead me to the armchair, we sank down onto it together, him still holding me, while I continued being a completely mess. For what felt like hours we stayed there, until I was able to pull myself together.

Pushing myself up to a proper sit, I cleared my throat, turning my face away, only for him to make me face him again as he cleaned the tears away. "Now I've seen all your faces, kora," he smiled, gently pressing his lips against mine. I didn't realize how much I had missed that. "And each one is still really handsome… …I missed you a lot, kora. I'm sorry I put you through so much."

"Tch…" What more could I say?

"Did you miss me, kora?"

"No, I only gave you thousands of presents because I wanted you to never see me again. Idiot," I growled, pushing him back into the chair in a much deeper kiss…

I nearly forgot how perfectly our lips locked together, how sweet his skin tasted despite the saltiness of his sweat, how his breathy moans accentuated my own pleasure… No wonder I never wanted to go to someone else. I was worried that it wouldn't compare. As we lay there panting from our excursion, his head resting against my chest, I let myself smile. I really had missed him. I suppose I would have to find a way to thank Fon for his insistence that I work on winning the idiot back. Though speaking of…

"What gave you that idea to pretend to kill yourself, anyway?" I asked, looking down at the blond cuddling against me like the girl he claimed he wasn't like.

"It was Fon's idea, kora. He helped me set it up," came the sleepy reply.

"Fon?" …So much for thanking him. With words, that is. A fist to the face sure sounded like a nice way to 'thank' him. "Ugh…should have expected. You aren't smart enough to have thought of that all on your own," I chuckled.

"Hey! I keep telling you, be nicer, kora!" he protested, sitting up to glare at me.

"Oh, hush. This is as nice as I'm getting. A mean me would have shot your stupid head to keep you dead," I smiled, kissing him lightly again. "But next time you decide to turn into a bitch, warn me, okay? Direct confrontation would have worked much better than going through all this."

"Maybe…but this way, the sex is way more satisfying, kora," he grinned, which was something I suppose I had to agree with.

"Still, remember it for future reference. Ugh, it's so late…I haven't eaten at all today," I groaned, pushing him off me and rolling out of the bed to get dressed.

"Hey, next time, I get to top, alright?" he said, bouncing out the bed to dress himself as well.

Of course, I punched him.

Then I took him out for dinner.

What can I say? I'm a romanticist.