Disclaimer As before - I don't own them

Once more thank you for the reviews, they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside... this chapter is a little longer than the last couple (I think) so please enjoy... the answer is coming soon I promise, I just have a habit of drawing things out... just to be evil :D

Chapter Three – Oh Crap

McKay sat idly at his desk in the science lab. He was at a loss. Beckett had not only kicked him out of the infirmary – twice – he had also set up a perimeter around it so that the moment Rodney was within one hundred yards of where John and Elizabeth still lay very unconscious, a large surly Lieutenant, apparently of the name Brown, appeared. Rodney, whilst concerned for his friends decided that, for the moment at least all his limbs being still attached to his body and worrying from afar was preferable to lying in a drug induced coma. He gazed off into the distance, not even pulled from his day dream by the blinking of his computer screen as the screen saver turned on.

Colonel Samantha Carter would have been embarrassed and probably would have hunted Rodney down if she had known that his screen saver contained numerous pictures of her hidden amongst the random snapshots of the people who had become his family on Atlantis. However even the gorgeous blonde couldn't pull Rodney from his melancholy stupor. He had failed them. Why had he not reacted quicker when his readings flashed that a sudden energy spike appeared out of nowhere? He stood up quickly from his chair, determined to find a way around Carson's picket line when a cry of shock made him pause.

Radek Zelenka had known the moment Rodney had isolated himself in his office how distressed the man was. The head scientist had said that he wasn't bothered and was simply looking over the work done by his horde whilst he was away, but even the white mice that Radek had grown fond of that lived in the lab had stopped squeaking as the dishevelled scientist tried to hide his guilt. So, determined to return the egomaniac to his usual unendearing self, Radek had set about trying to make the best out of the predicament that lay in the infirmary. He decided to make a book.

It wasn't out of spite; Radek Zelenka was honoured to work with people like Elizabeth Weir. And even for a military man John Sheppard was one of the best men he had ever known. No, this change into gambling central was merely to help those stressed out by the current circumstances think "it could be worse." And so with determination Radek had stepped up behind Rodney only to have his boss's chair spin away as the man sprang up and right into Radek's shin.

'What was that for?' Rodney paused and turned as his colleague bent slightly to rub his lower leg, muttering something unintelligible in Czech.

'What were you doing standing right behind me? You know how I feel about people reading over my shoulder.'

'Rodney, as much as you think I might even consider plagiarising your work, I don't think presenting a picture of Colonel Carter like that is on the highest of my priorities.'

Rodney blushed and slammed the lid of his laptop down. Damn nosey Czech.

'What did you want anyway?' Radek smiled broadly and adjusted his glasses.

'You aren't to blame you know.'

'I don't need a pep talk.'

'Good. Because I am not here to give you one.'

'Then why did you come over?' Rodney was not in the mood for one of Radek's games, even the idea of kicking Zelenka's butt at "Prime/Not Prime" didn't fire up Rodney's competitive side.

'I have come to ask if you would like to place a bet on the outcome of today's events.'

'Are you kidding me?' Rodney got angry. How dare Zelenka try and make this into a betting topic.

'Rodney, you heard Carson's last diagnosis. Both of them are fine. Their vitals are normal; they both have normal brain activity. The fever has gone. All we are waiting for now is for them to wake up. Besides, the kitty has gotten quite large.'

Radek didn't miss the spark of curiosity in his friends' eye. All he had to do was to reel him in.

Rodney wanted to kick himself. He was curious now. Damn this Czech who knew how to push his buttons. He tried to respond nonchalantly.

'Really? What is the actual bet for?'

'What the beam did to them. Some of the responses have been quite interesting.' Radek carefully adjusted the reel and slowly wound in the hapless McKay.

'Oh yeah? Like what?'

'Well.' Radek pulled out his little black book; infamous for depriving many Atlantean's of coffee, chocolate and other such luxuries throughout the few years the group had been on the alien planet. He read off a list, including some of the more interesting ones.

'Kavanaugh is determined to believe that the incident was in fact construed just to give Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard a longer break, that seeing as you were the only witness there wasn't actually a beam or anything and that nothing happened, they are in fact just suffering exhaustion from being stuck on a planet with you for five days, that's at 100 to one.' Radek ploughed on before Rodney went on a rampage to kill Kavanaugh. 'Others include, at 60 to 1: The beam was actually an alien conception device and Elizabeth is pregnant, 40 to 1: The beam was an alien conception device and John is pregnant –'

'Wait, why are the odds shorter for John being pregnant than Elizabeth?'

'Major Lorne thought it sounded like the oddest thing that could happen, and apparently many people agree. Anyway, at one of the shortest odds – at 20 to 1 – is that the beam implanted alien entities into their minds.'

'Oh that is so original, besides, that's already happened to them.' McKay thought hard. He was almost enjoying himself. Honestly some people were so stupid; he'd taken Zelenka's book off of the scientist and was reading some of the other bets. Apparently one of the kitchen staff had decided that the beam was the equivalent to that computer – whatever its name was – in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and that both John and Elizabeth now knew the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything else.

Sighing McKay handed the book back to Zelenka and was about to bet his entire collection of chocolate coated coffee beans to the pot in favour of one of the more obscure ideas of the beam; something about just being a human life scan and that apart from shaken they were alright, when the unmistakable Scottish brogue of the resident doctor crackled onto the radio.

'Rodney?' McKay paused, there was something in Beckett's voice, the recognisable relief that was plain when a team member woke up or got through to the next step of recovery, mixed with the "oh crap", aka, Rodney/John/Elizabeth: we are in trouble (the member of Atlantis that this was aimed at depended on the stress and anxiousness found in Beckett's voice). Rodney zoned into the voice.

'Carson? What's going on?'

There was an extended pause; Rodney was about to repeat his question when Carson finally answered.

'Well they are awake –'

Rodney very nearly whooped into the microphone.

'I'm on my way.'

Before Carson could alert Rodney to the fact that whilst Liz and John were awake, there was something terribly wrong, he was rebuffed by the scientist and within minutes a puffing Rodney McKay burst into the infirmary with a slightly frazzled looking Radek Zelenka behind him. Beckett grimaced, the little black book not escaping his attention.

(Beckett himself was banned from betting on medicinal matters because he had a greater understanding – apparently – of what was going on and more likely to win the pot. Although Beckett had a feeling that Zelenka was just miffed because the MD had won a stash of Picnic bars off the scientist)

This was going to be a long day. He glanced back at his patients. Atlantis had brought many "oh crap" moments to fruition. But this, Carson concluded was by far the worst that had befallen any members of the expedition. And of course, as the fates would have it, this moment had found its way to alter the leaders of Atlantis.

Thank God Colonel Caldwell is still here. Although the Medical Doctor had a feeling that regardless of their current position neither John nor Elizabeth were going to stop themselves from running Atlantis.

This situation was definitely going to be filed under "oh crap".