Immunity
A D Gray-Man & Last of Us Crossover

When he finally found his room in one of the apartment buildings, Allen couldn't help but lean his back against the door inside and enjoy the silence for a moment, closing his eyes. No gun-shots. No marching feet. No Infected howling at his heels. The shrill sound that did make itself known in the near-silence of the room made him smile as a slight weight landed on top of his head, chirping a cockatiel greeting.

He picked the golden little bird off his head, that craned its head at him and hopped onto his shoulder, nibbling at his ear and warbling affection. He reached a hand up to scratch behind its head.

"I'm happy to see you too, Tim."

He walked across the room and ignored the sharp little claws on his shoulder, not minding them so much, as he pulled off his shoes and set his gun and knife aside in his drawer for safe keeping, unloading the empty clip, and went to get a glass of water, chugging it down with a satisfied sigh. He briefly washed his hands to refill Timcanpy's food and set the bird aside before going to the small bathroom, glancing his own pale face and the pink scar that traveled from brow to cheek on the left side.

"I survived another day, Mana," he murmured to himself, something he only did when he was alone. Even around Lavi, whom he counted like a brother, he rarely brought up his foster father. "I didn't think I would this time, but I did. I'm still alive. Still walking."

Talking to himself as if the man was still around, listening somehow, brought him a certain peace of mind. Occasionally he even entertained the thought that the man who had adopted and cared for him when no one else would was secretly alive somewhere, and maybe they'd meet again, but he wasn't delusional enough to actually believe his own dredged up fantasies. He fully knew the hard truth. The scar on his face was a constant reminder of that. He simply didn't want to think about it. Pretending to himself that Mana had somehow survived uninfected was far less depressing.

He went about disrobing, not having much to take off already seeing as he'd lost both his shirt and jacket outside, and stepped into the shower. The water was only mildly warm at best, but it was better than nothing, letting it wash away his thoughts along with the sweat and blood on his skin, filling his mind only with the drumming of droplets against tile.

After some time scrubbing and idly tracing his hands over himself, letting his mind remain blissfully blank, he paused curiously as fingers of his normal right hand traced the rough, malformed flesh of his left arm, ghosting over a small indent, then another.

Huh… he hadn't remembered that. He continued to trace it with his index, realizing that there were more, forming a sort of half-circle. Okay, so that was a little weird…

He craned his head slightly and raised his arm, trying to get a better look. A knot of dread was forming in his gut, raising the hairs on the back of his neck, and it had nothing to do with the cooling shower water. He quickly turned it on and stepped out, walking quickly to the mirror and trying to get a better look. Two parallel rows of semi-circle's indented the flesh of his deformed arm, and his silvery eyes widened.

"Oh no…" He barely even breathed. "Don't tell me…"

How? When?! He'd been bitten! But he hadn't even felt it! How could he not notice? And now, he was… he was…

"….I'm going to be sick," he muttered, bracing his hands on the counter edge to keep himself from swaying and suddenly having a hard time just breathing, unsure at this point if it was the headache or the realization that he was basically now one of those things outside and having no idea what he should do now.

"O-okay, just… just calm down. M-maybe… it's not a bite. Maybe you got that some other way," he tried to reason, even though he didn't believe a word of it himself. But damn it he couldn't' be infected! "Maybe you just… fell on a broken bottle… or something. Or some circular metal piece and it cut you, that's all," he continued as he rigorously dried himself off, going to is room to put on fresh clothes. "I mean… stranger things have happened, right? You don't really know. It's not like you've actually been scanned. It could just be a big misunderstanding, that's all."

Oh God he hoped that was all it was.

After dressing himself, he paced the room in agitated thought, trying to decide what to do. If he went to one of the soldiers and it turned out he was infected - God forbid - they'd shoot him dead on the spot. Hell, what did it matter if he'd lose all his humanity within two days at most anyway? But he didn't want to put the others through that. Lenalee would cry for weeks, and Lavi… he'd probably have to deal with it directly and make a record of it. The idea of that hurt even worse. Lenalee would probably only hear about it, but Lavi… he'd probably have to actually see it.

But what was he supposed to actually do?! He couldn't just keep it a secret and wait until he turned into one of those creatures. Until he possibly even killed or infected his friends!

He scrubbed a hand down his face in frustration, growling low to himself.

Okay so maybe… maybe he could find a scanner and just check himself without anyone else knowing. If it turned out he wasn't one, then he could just put it all behind him. No worries. But what if it turned out he was infected?

One thing at a time, Allen. You can figure out how to cross that bridge when you come to it.

He settled for finding a scanner himself, throwing on a dark hoodie and leaving, making sure Tim stayed inside and didn't follow him out the door. It was already nearly dark. Curfew would be in effect soon, if it wasn't already.

Barely anyone was outside anymore, and he could still hear distant gunfire. It seemed that the military was still busy fending off the Infected. At least it would make it easier to get around unconfronted though.

He pulled the hood over his white head of hair and slunk through the street, careful to dodge onlookers or patrolsmen that were still monitoring the streets, until he found the main building where many of the town officials had their offices. Hardly anyone was present, and those that were too preoccupied to notice him slip by until he found the one office he was looking for.

Komui was always messing around with gadgets and helping fix things. Surely he had to have a scanner somewhere in his office too? He wondered what he would say if the man was present and awake, but he supposed he could always lie and say that one of the guards had requested he fetch it for them, maybe that theirs broke. That would suffice, wouldn't it? He was glad it didn't come to that as he found it empty though, and it didn't take much searching to find it. Komui was never a very orderly person, so a lot of his projects were always just laying out in the open.

Heck, he wouldn't even have to take it with him anywhere now, since he was alone. He flicked it on and pressed it to the back of his neck, forcing his breath steady and trying to be optimistic, but the seconds that ticked by while the machine worked were almost painful, the teen fidgeting in apprehension.

He was relieved to hear it finally give an indicative beep and pulled it away, momentarily closing his eyes as he chanted to himself, "Please be negative. Please be negative."

He opened them, and after staring at it for a few moments, dropped the device into a pile of papers littering the floor and sat down, burying his face in his hands with a mournful, "Oh my GOD."

He wanted to cry. There wasn't any getting around it now. He was Infected. Everything up to this point for him wasn't worth anything anymore. The sacrifice his foster father made to protect him… his friends… this was going to hurt them so much. At the very least, Mana wasn't alive for him to hurt with this knowledge, and soon enough he wouldn't be either, but his friends…

And the worst part was that he didn't know what to do about it. He mulled over all the possibilities in his head again and again, but his thoughts were too muddled and tumultuous. He couldn't think clearly, and it was so hard to breathe.

After a while, though he absolutely hated himself with every fiber of his being for it, he knew he was going to need to ask for help. Lavi always seemed to know what to do, and as much as it pained him, the redhead would find out eventually anyway, and prolonging it wouldn't make it any easier. At least then maybe he could offer some kind of reassurance, as opposed to if his friend had to suddenly go report on another shooting of an infected person, only to discover that it was his own close friend, with no explanation behind any of it. He figured Lavi deserved that much, at the very least. Just… some kind of explanation.

Allen sucked in a few harsh breaths, turning off the scanner and leaving quietly, though with his thoughts and emotions still spinning like a raging storm. He crept along the streets carefully until he found Lavi's building, managing to slip inside and find the door to his and Bookman's living quarters, rapping his fist on the door more urgently than he'd meant to, but he was having a really hard time steadying his nerves.

Having to leave Allen while the guy might have a suspected concussion is not exactly the most fun thing for Lavi to have to do. He had walked a bit before stopping and turning around, watching Allen to be sure that he didn't stumble along the pathway now that he's managed to calm down. When everything looked fine—with Allen slinking off quickly—he turns back around and stalks back 'home.'

'Home' is in an apartment above the library in town. Home is that small corridor right in-between the library and the next building—originally a grocery store that's been turned into a storage space—where a person can go up a small hallway and make it to the Bookman's door.

And upon entering there would be an immediate mess everywhere. Corners filled with stacked newspapers and random sheets of papers meaning nothing to others, chairs not being used for a few years due to the large stacks of books put on them, desks left in chaos with labels and folders and documents still needing to be filed.

Yet the hallways inside the apartment and walkways are kept pretty clean so that the old man and his grandson can walk to-and-from rooms quite easily. Lavi calls out a greeting when he opens the door, accidentally hitting the doorknob against the wall which causes Bookman to holler, "What did I tell you about the door?!"

"Sorry Gramps!" Lavi apologizes wearily.

Bookman—as he declared himself when coming to this safe haven—comes from the kitchen with two cups of tea, eyes taking in Lavi's appearance with a raised eyebrow. Giving a sheepish smile, the younger male rubs his head as he briefly explains what happened. Heaving a sigh, Bookman lets Lavi go to take a shower saying that he would be doing the work today. It's not apparent, but the old guy is happy Lavi is alive.

It takes Lavi twenty minutes to wash up, taking his time to get rid of those feelings he gained after being chased down and almost caught this time. When he came out, dressed and ready to go, he managed to help Bookman for a little while, storing away some books and documents that need to be filed and sorted out later to put away.

The door knocks, lightly surprising Bookman. He gets up to answer it and when he sees a somewhat pale Allen, he turns around and calls for Lavi, thinking that the 'kid' was still a little terrified of what transpired for them earlier. Bookman leaves the living room as Lavi waves Allen inside.

"What's goin' on Allen? Your head feelin' alright? Bookman's gettin' ready to head down to the library to put a few things away, so do ya think ya need 'im for anything?"

Allen wasn't the happiest teen in the world to see Bookman at the moment. He didn't dislike the old man or anything. He wasn't necessarily fond of the elder - Bookman was sort of a hard person to become endeared to, seeing as he showed little personal interest in much of anyone else - but Allen didn't have anything against him either. He just wasn't sure he had the nerve to bring up his little 'problem' with anyone other than Lavi at the moment, even if Bookman might've been more helpful in knowing what to do.

He stepped inside and momentarily watched Lavi's keeper go about his own business, then turned grey eyes to Lavi. He was already having a hard time just looking at his friend, knowing that this was going to hit him hard.

"No, I didn't come because I needed anything from Bookman," he said, his tone polite but faintly strained. "Um, actually I came to see you. Can we… talk for a moment?" In case he didn't entirely catch the hint, since, for all his intelligence, Lavi could sometimes be slow on the uptake, he directed more clearly, "Just the two of us? If that's okay, I mean…"

"Yeah yeah yeah, 'course it's okay," Lavi says, that last comment tipping him off that Allen has something serious to talk about and not just something funny that couldn't wait until tomorrow. "We'll go to my room, 'kay?"

Leading the way, the redhead goes through the hall and to his room at the end of the small hall and to the left. Just like the rest of the house it's messy—but even more so. He removes a pile of books off a stool and motions for Allen to sit on the bed as the redhead adjusts his pants to sit down comfortably after closing the door. Thankfully, all the paper and books make his room soundproof, in a way.

And Bookman wouldn't care to listen in either.

"What's eatin' at ya, Allen? I mean, hopefully your mind ain't workin' weird after you hit your head. Or did the doctor say you need supervising but couldn't do it?"

Allen was undoubtedly glad for the privacy when Lavi offered it, following the redhead to his room, of which the mess could rival Komui's messy office, which was a nightmare to look at even on a good day. He'd learned that Lavi could still find basically anything in it easily, though how, he could only guess. He'd heard Lavi refer to it as 'organized chaos' on more than one occasion.

He waited patiently for the redhead to clear a spot and sat down, though now that they were actually alone where they could talk, he felt choked up, his throat tight and chest feeling weighed down like it was filled with lead, second-guessing himself. Suddenly telling Lavi seemed like a terrible idea.

If he doesn't find out here, he's going to find out tomorrow, after a soldier puts a bullet through your skull, or you try to eat someone.

"No, I didn't go to see a doctor," he admitted as he idly fidgeted with the sleeve of his hoodie, more just to stall so he had another few seconds to think. He'd actually forgotten all about that already, too preoccupied with his realization. He supposed it didn't exactly matter now anyway, concussion or not.

Now he was just trying to figure out how to break the news, wondering where to start. Several possibilities came to mind, some much more long-winded and round-about than others, but none of them seemed sufficient. At the very least, he wasn't going to have to tell Lavi to sit down for this so he didn't possibly fall over in shock.

He finally settled on just coming out and saying it, not wanting to prolong the inevitable any longer. He took a deep breath, leveling his eyes with Lavi's, which had previously been slightly downcast in thought. He almost flinched at the curious concern that only subtly indented Lavi's features, knowing that he was about to make both their day that much worse than it had already been.

"Lavi… I was bit."

As Allen sits there in contemplation, Lavi raising an eyebrow in confusion, it's when he hears very quietly muffled sounds of Bookman closing the door to his own room. So the old man is gone and now Lavi knows there's no worrying over if they're heard or not.

As the seconds start ticking by, it gets him increasingly worried because it's not like the white-haired teen to be quiet like this on a normal standard. He frowns when Allen admits to not going to the doctor, though. It has to be grave based on the quiet, so he waits and he waits.

And he regrets waiting.

"B-Bit?" he questions in a stutter, an unbelieving smile coming onto his face. "Ahaha, ya sure there, Beansprout? Lemme see. I bet it's not even a real bite or somethin' an' your brain is jus' makin' you see things. I wonder if ya really DO have a concussion or somethin'," he says, holding out his hand for Allen to show him the bite—or he thinks lack-thereof.

Allen sighed softly, unsure whether he should feel hurt or relieved by Lavi's calm denial.

…okay, so that wasn't quite right. He was sure Lavi was a lot less calm inside than he showed. The redhead was good at pretending to have a level head even when he didn't. He could tell that his friend was trying to grasp at something to make it turn out to be false and logic it away. That Lavi simply didn't want it to be true. A sentiment he deeply shared, which was making his chest pinch tightly.

He worked his hoodie off over his head and pulled his sleeve up to his shoulder, tilting his deformed arm up and making it a point to directly to exactly where it was so the redhead wouldn't have to waste time looking for it.

He couldn't quite bring himself to look Lavi in the face at this point, having a fairly good idea of what he'd probably see there if he did.

"I… I thought maybe I was just tired and being paranoid… I mean, I didn't feel anything bite me, so, how could that be it?" The last part of the statement came out as sort of a shaky laugh, spoken a little too quickly with barely withheld panic, vaguely manic in undertone. He was trying - and failing - to at least appear like he wasn't breaking down inside. "…so… I snuck into Komui's office to find a scanner and thought it would show up negative, but…" he trailed off at this point, unable to go on, but he knew Lavi would already know the rest without needing to continue.

The whole time, his thoughts were ringing in a tempest in his head, telling him one thing after another.

That he was a disappointment for wasting the extra chance Mana had sacrificed his life to give Allen, twice; once to take him in and raise him, and the other to drive him away, so that he could continue to live, even though Mana couldn't.

That he was an idiot for getting bitten in the first place and not freaking noticing!

That he was a terrible person for telling Lavi this, even though he knew it was going to be devastating, even if he knew that it couldn't be avoided that he find out. And the rest of his friends… what were they going to think? He already knew Lenalee was going to sob her eyes out, probably for weeks. Komui would be depressed and probably absorb himself in tinkering with his gadgets for a while, and work on upping defenses, including protective clothing, to keep anyone else from suffering the same fate. Miranda and Krory would probably cry for a bit, then be depressed for a while, but go about trying to help somehow. And Kanda… well, he'd probably just go about his business the same as any day, like Allen was never there to begin with. Even if Kanda did somehow care - which he had a hard time believing, though he wanted to think the temperamental older teen had some kind of soft spot in there somewhere, even if they didn't get along - he'd never show it. Kanda was too reserved of a person to let anyone know if it bothered him at all.

Allen drew in a shuddering breath, blinking back forming tears that he refused to let fall, and finally managed to whisper out what he'd been struggling to solidify with words up until this point.

"…I'm infected."

Lavi counts the stars that Allen was refusing to look at him as he describes what he did that led to the realization that he had been infected. Lavi listened, face contorting into one of forced disbelief, and yet anguish. Eyebrows knot together and upward, green eye's pupil constricting as Lavi's jaw clenches and tightens, baring his teeth slightly as he frowns deeply.

The redhead stands up from the stool as Allen confirms what he was thinking—that he's infected according to Komui's sensor. Lavi mutters curses under his breath as he starts pacing back and forth, mind racing a mile a minute as he's acutely aware of everything around him quite suddenly as he tries thinking of something they can do. None of them are very promising or very safe.

"Shit shit shit, God dammit," he says a bit loudly as he stops to rub his face and eyes, yanking off his headband and throwing it at his messy desk. He leans his head against the wall as he says, "Infected, infected... a-alright. We gotta do somethin' about it, of course. I-I mean... w-we gotta do somethin'. We can't just-..."

Lavi is instantly ashamed of the thought process he's developing in this new enlightenment. He actually doesn't want Allen to die. The white-haired teen is one of the very few that Lavi absolutely DOES NOT want to have die. The guy is up-beat and like a ray of sunlight in this dismally gray world. He might even go to great lengths to keep him alive…

"M-Maybe the infection hasn't s-spread that far yet... from your arm. I-I mean... maybe we can go to the doctor a-and... have him... get rid of the infected area."

He can't believe he just suggested to Allen that they amputate his arm to keep him alive—as if he didn't get put up with enough shit over having a red arm.

Allen still couldn't bring himself to look directly at the redhead at the moment. It was already taking him all of his willpower to keep himself together. He couldn't even begin to guess which one of them felt worse at this point.

True, Lavi wasn't as closed off and reserved as Kanda was, but he wasn't someone that was terribly open and let most others "in" much either. Not on a deeply personal level anyway. Allen was one of the few blessed to have earned Lavi's favor, whom he actually cared for, and Lavi didn't genuinely care for a lot of people, but for those he did, his emotions ran deep.

But of course he had to be the bearer of the bad news that was undoubtedly wounding Lavi in that soft spot he wasn't even supposed to have in the first place.

"Sorry…" he couldn't help but offer up weakly as Lavi paced restlessly, Allen's silvery eyes watching the redhead walk back and forth. The pacing wasn't helping his own mood, but he chose not to say anything, not wanting to make either of them feel worse by it, and he figured Lavi had a right to it at this point.

He listened to Lavi stuttering, mainly to himself it seemed, trying to work through the problem. Allen visibly paled at the suggestion that they cut off his arm. So sure, he wasn't exactly fond of the damn thing. It had caused him no shortage of strife throughout his life, especially before meeting Mana when he was far younger, but it was still his arm.

After a moment he managed to push his shock aside and shook his head slightly. If he thought that it was actually going to help, he might've considered it, but…

"Lavi, it's been hours since it happened." He hated to be the voice of pessimism at the moment, especially when he knew how big of a deal this was to Lavi and how close they were, but he didn't see a way around it, even if every word that left his lips to basically beat down the redhead's hopes was crushing his own soul a little more, bit by bit. "I don't think that's going to do me any good, and they're likely to just kill me on the spot as soon as they find out what happened. They don't take chances."

True, he was mild-natured and polite around most people, but that didn't mean he trusted them. He knew how to put up a good mask, but he'd been on the recieving end of people's brutality too many times to truly let his guard down - save for a very small handful of individuals, of which Lavi was one - and he had very little reason to believe he wouldn't end up on the recieving end again this time too.

He sighed audibly and lowered his eyes again to his lap. "I guess it wouldn't really matter at this point though if they did. One way or the other, I won't be alive anymore given two days at most." So technically he might still be 'alive', but there wouldn't be anything left of him as Allen Walker anymore, just another ravenous Infected bent on ripping apart any person it could find. He considered it the same as dying, anyway. "At least then I won't run the risk of infecting or killing anyone else."

"No. No no no no," Lavi hisses, slamming his fist on the wall as he grinds his teeth, thinking some more although all he can come up with are decisions that are just, by and far, the worst to consider. "No. It's gotta be wrong somehow. It's gotta be. Maybe Komui tinkered with it too much an' it doesn't know an infected person with a cold and an actual Infected. We can try lookin' again tomorrow!"

He's feeling rather pathetic at this point, visibly showing how much he's not wanting this to be true. Allen is one of the few people that Lavi can tolerate on a deeper level. Lenalee is nice and all, but she's… fragile after losing so many people during this apocalypse. Kanda is just a sour-ass all the time. Krory is older and harder to relate to.

"Alright, look. It's late, but that doesn't matter. We're gonna go see that old lady an' demand that she check it out again. Her sensor ALWAYS has to work an' it's gonna tell us that you're not infected. Just watch it tell us that," Lavi says with a resolute tone, opening his door and motioning for Allen to follow him out.

Allen felt silent as Lavi talked, suggesting they go find a different scanner, trying to stay optimistic, but he couldn't share such feelings. He wanted to hold out hope, but at the same time he didn't. It was already hard enough trying to come to terms with the knowledge that he had a very, very narrow window left to live. He didn't want to get his hopes up, only for what he'd already confirmed for himself to be proven true again.

He didn't think he had the strength to do that all again.

For a moment he opened his mouth to argue - gently - with a pained look, but he didn't manage to get a word out. He stopped himself before he could, not having the heart to likewise rip out Lavi's. He huffed and idly ground his jaw, conceding defeat for the moment. He wasn't going to hold out hope, but he was going to at least let Lavi keep his, at least for now.

He stood to follow, slipping his hoodie back on and self-consciously tugging his hood over his head.

"…alright, Lavi, we'll try doing it your way first."