Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. Just taking them out for some fun.
A/N: Thank you to all who read and reviewed the first two chapters. This is my first story and with your support and (usually) gentle humour, it's turning into a success! As promised, I will crank up the heat this time around; if you are offended by smut, please do not read. If you enjoy smut, please do read! Any and all comments, suggestions, and reviews are welcome; they are soul food. And I am (still ) HUNGRY! ;)
I returned from Fort Laramie feeling as though my mind had been swept clear of dust and cobwebs. I wished I could say I was a new woman but I knew better than that; I was still stick-straight Lou McLeod with a short fuse and a stubborn streak a mile wide. Still, I hadn't left Laramie completely unchanged, Buck had seen to that. He had looked beneath my exterior and found the good in me, and just accepted me the way I was. I wished more people in my life would do just that: accept me, that is. But patience was never my strong suit.
One thing sure hadn't changed: the near-constant clashes with Kid. Breaking up with him had been my idea, not his, and he was not at all happy about it. He just refused to accept that I would not change to suit his needs, to keep him, to eventually marry him. He refused to accept that I just didn't want him, period, and nothing I said or did would get through to him. Life became awfully damn difficult, living and working in such close quarters with him. As well, there were the other fellas to think of; they didn't need to be stuck in the middle of our constant bickering. I actually considered moving in with Rachel, I was that desperate, but once again stubbornness won out. I had always lived in the bunkhouse with the others, so why should I rearrange my life around Kid?
As the days passed, though, tempers did cool down some and Kid and I began to argue less. Eventually, we seemed to reach an unspoken, albeit uneasy, truce, and I was glad. I was also just plain tuckered out.
Early spring became mid-spring. The days grew longer and warmer; the brood mares foaled; Rachel planted a garden. The distance continued to grow between me and Kid and also between me and the other fellas. I missed their company, but it wasn't worth the constant tension that inevitably built when we were all together. I missed Ike's comfortable company, his sweet and gentle ways. And, I missed Buck.
I missed him terribly. We had struck up a friendship built on respect; the friendship had begun to grow into something more. But even as I became more solitary and distant, I noticed that Buck, in his own quiet way, stood by me. He always seemed to be by my side doing chores in the barn, carrying firewood, loading the wagon with supplies. His presence calmed me, gave me faith that things eventually would change for the better.
Soon it grew parchingly hot and we were subject to the thunder and lightning storms we always got out on the prairies. Our Express station was lucky; none of our buildings were struck by lightning. Rock Creek on the whole wasn't as fortunate, for several buildings and two homesteads were hit and burned to the ground. Two children and their grandmother were lost in one of the fires and I cried, thinking of Jeremiah and Theresa in the orphanage. Our rides were fewer in number, leaving us to helping Rachel get supplies and doing chores around the station or, more often than not, our own company.
It was a difficult, prickly time for me. This time last year Kid and I had been inseparable to the point of the boys telling us to "get a room", avoiding us, or just putting up with us. We had gone out riding together, on picnics, swimming, and just hung out in the bunkhouse. This year everything was different. My rides and picnics were solitary affairs except for the odd time when Rachel was free, and we would share tea or a picnic lunch. I very seldom went swimming with the boys any more; I shied away from their laughing and shouting and rowdy games.
"Come on Lou, don't be a spoilsport" Cody complained one very hot day when the boys had decided to go swimming and I had declined. I turned on my heel.
"Back off, Cody. I mean it."
Something in my tone and expression must have scared him for he did back off right away, something he almost never did. "What's with her?" I heard him complain and mutterings of "Beats me" and "I dunno" followed. I had just sat down at the table when I felt a hand on my arm. It was Kid.
"Lou, come on. We just want you to come with us and have some fun for a change" he said, his brow wrinkled.
"I'm fine, Kid. Leave me alone." I felt no need to explain or even to be nice to him. I just wanted to be left alone.
"You've been moping around like a dog with a tin can tied to its tail ever since that overnighter to Fort Laramie" he said. "About time to buck up, don't you think?"
"Back off, Kid" I said in a low voice. I was dangerously close to exploding. "I don't need you of all people butting in and telling me what to do!"
"Lou - "
"Stop it!" I shouted, not caring who heard me. "Just - go - AWAY! Go find yourself a pretty, frilly, clingy little woman who's GOOD enough for you! Someone who's not damaged goods like me!"
I stormed past Kid, his jaw slack, past the other boys all with startled expressions. From the corner of my eye I saw Buck and Ike exchange worried glances but I was beyond caring. I stomped over to the barn and saddled up Lightning as fast as I could then, mounting up, cantered off in the opposite direction of the swimming hole.
After a few minutes of pushing Lightning to gallop faster and faster, common sense took over and my temper began to cool as well. Reining him in to a walk, we made our way over to a deep, fast-flowing creek bordered by willows. We both drank from the creek; I unsaddled him and looped the reins over a branch in the shade. I found a low, broad branch and lay down.
I stared up at the leaves of the ancient tree, light and shadow playing alternately on my face. I closed my eyes and began to slip into sleep when a familiar quiet voice awoke me.
"Don't go to sleep. I brought you lunch."
I opened my eyes to see Buck, still mounted on Spirit, smiling down at me. The sight of him made me smile; I sat up and rubbed mt eyes.
"Buck, what in Sam Hill are you doing here?"
"Rachel packed me a picnic and I'm looking for someone to share it with." He dismounted and led Spirit over beside Lightning, then unbuckled the saddlebags and produced a canvas satchel and a blanket. "Where's a good spot?" he asked, handing me the blanket.
"Over here by the creek. It's cool in the shade." I spread out the blanket and we sat. Buck opened the satchel and set the food on the blanket. Rachel had packed sandwiches and cheese and cookies, and had filled Buck's canteen with lemonade. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I began eating; then, I devoured my share. Buck laughed at me.
"I knew you'd be hungry after your outburst" he said with a smirk.
"Oh? How'd you know that?" I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
"You didn't eat breakfast this morning...and you gave Cody most of your lunch." His face still bore that maddening smirk; it infuriated me."That's why you're so cranky today."
"Running Buck Cross...you - " I fumed. "I am NOT cranky!"
"Oh, yes you are" he smirked.
"Ooooh - I am going to wipe that smirk right off of your face - "
I launched myself at him; although Buck was much taller and heavier than I, he hadn't ever experienced the full force of my wrath.I surprised him and knocked him onto his back. I promptly straddled him and began raining blows that hit wherever they would land. To my exasperation, he merely laughed his head off.
Of course, this infuriated me even more. "You - " I fumed, red-faced.
"Lou - stop it - I can't stand it-"
So I stopped suddenly, my chest heaving. Buck was still laughing. I changed my strategy and began to tickle him instead.
He stared up at me , openmouthed, then gasped "Lou - no, don't do that - please, I won't laugh at you any more - "
Of course, I kept tickling him. Then -
His hands and fingers found my ribs, the one place I was fiercely ticklish. I gave a girlish shriek and began to squirm and writhe in his grasp. I fell over on top of him. We lay there grasping each other, gasping for breath. Our eyes met and locked.
I was suddenly aware that I was laying on top of his growing desire for me; I felt it pressing, hard, against my stomach. His hand reached up and cupped my cheek. I moved up and pressed my lips to his; suddenly, we were kissing - deeply, passionately, urgently. I twined my fingers in his long silky hair, loving the texture, the feel. His hands caressed my back, pulled my shirt out of my trousers. I wasn't wearing an undershirt, just the silky chemise Rachel had gotten for me. Buck rolled to his side, bringing me with him. I began to unbutton his shirt, running my hand over the smooth skin of his chest. His eyes closed and he sighed.
"Lou?" he whispered.
"Uh-huh?" I had his shirt fully unbuttoned and pulled free of his trousers.
"How long - until your next monthly?"
"Umm...about three days. " I paused. "We won't make a baby if we do this."
He looked at me and stroked my hair. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
I regarded Buck's face, his beautiful eyes, and I knew.
"I am sure, Buck" I said softly, placing my hand over his heart and feeling his strong heartbeat. "Are you sure you want to?"