Thanks for your feedback, really appreciated.

Author: Jaguarin with the colaboration and edition of mighty Nightstorm

Pairing: B/H

Summary: This story is developed in alternative universe where Barbara can walk.

Helena spent most of her time alone in the big manor. Luckily, her 'father' spent a lot of time in his business and almost every night out. He usually woke at midday -- the perfect time, she was at school at the time.

She noticed he spent much time with Dick and, at dinner, they always had something to talk about, she was usually silent.

She discovered Dick joined his father at night, fighting against crime as Robin.

She thought it was a ridiculous name, but, well, he was using it, not her. She spent that Saturday afternoon watching him exercise at the gym in his Robin suit. The movements he was doing caught her attention.

"Are you gay?" she asked him suddenly.

"Don't be ridiculous, kid!" he growled.

"Well, I'm not the one dressed in tights and ballet slippers."

He jumped down from the rings where he was exercising and looked at her. "What kind of question is that?"

"What kind of costume is that?" She pointed at him.

"Wanna try?" Dick picked up a towel and cleaned his hands.

"I'm not in the mood," the girl said, shaking her head.

"Come on, Helena. I'll teach you to fight."

"No, thanks."

"Hi, Helena," Bruce greeted, arriving in the gym at that moment.

"Hi," she said coldly, still feeling disappointed that he refused to kill her mother's murderer.

"I was inviting her to train." Dick smiled. "But it seems she's not interested."

"Leave her alone." He touched Helena's shoulder for a brief second, but when he felt her stiffen, he moved back. "It's better this way," he said, thinking of what happened to Barbara and Selina, He definitely didn't want this life for his daughter.

"Okay, but someday I'll show her how to kick ass."

"Dick, I need your help," Bruce said distractedly. "I have some issues."

"Sure."

Helena just turned and walked toward her room.

Dick moved toward the bars and jumped over them.

"Still no success with her?"

"No. She is really difficult."

"I noticed, not easy to talk to."

"How is Barbara?" the millionaire asked, bandaging his hands.

"Waiting anxiously for the next operation. It will be in a month."

"You will return then."

"Yes."

"I'm glad of it. She will need you."

Dick looked him straight in his eyes. "Things are not okay with Helena, right?"

"No, it has been more difficult than I expected."

"Give it some time."

"I'm giving it time, Dick, it's just… she is just a kid."

Just a kid. Yes, that was what everyone thought about her. The poor orphan kid. Annoyed, Helena returned to her room and closed the door. She went toward her drawer and took out her phone book. She checked her clock.

In England it was 9 pm.

She dialed the phone number.

A nurse answered.

She said she couldn't talk to her. It was late. Tell her Helena called, she said, before hanging up.

She hadn't talk with her since she had left almost two months ago. They had been the most difficult and lonely months of her life. She wanted to cry; it was so hard. She felt she didn't have any more tears.

Suddenly, the phone rang. She didn't usually to pick it up, but something made her do it.

:Hel?:

The girl felt her heart jumping out of her chest. "Barbara?"

:How are you, sweetheart?:

"I just called you! But the nurse said it was too late."

:I heard. I told her she didn't have any right to control my calls. I have been thinking about you so much. How are you?:

"I'm fine."

:I really would love to be with you.:

"Don't worry, how are you doing?"

:How are things with your father?:

"More or less… not well."

:Be patient with him, Helena.:

The girl wanted to say so many things, but she didn't want to worry her. "I'll try, but it's difficult. I don't know him."

:Give it some time, it's too soon for both of you.:

Helena remained silent a few seconds. She bit her lower lip and looked down. "I miss Mom."

She heard a soft exhalation at the other side of the line. How could you not? She was a wonderful mother.

:She was.:

"I would like to see you, Barbara."

:I would like see you, too.:

"Come back soon.

:I'll recover fast so I can come back and see you.:

"Can I call you this weekend?"

:Anytime you want, honey.:

"Sleep well. I love you."

Helena hung the phone and stared at the floor. Listening to her voice had made her feel a little better. It was like sun in the darkness. Her soul was restless. Checking her watch, she noticed it was still early. She picked up her sweater and went out to walk a bit.

Communicating with Bruce became more difficult with every passing day. Her anger built every day. She was frustrated; life hadn't been fair to her. She still knew she wanted revenge.

When she was alone at home, she used Bruce's gym. Her mom had showed her some gymnastic and self-defense tricks.

Once, she tried to follow Bruce and Dick to their "work" as criminal fighters. Of course, she lost them very quickly. They were fast and it took her four tries before she finally found a way to follow them. They never knew she was there.

She saw them fighting, they were amazing, but the coolest part was all that stuff hidden on their belts.

She wondered how Dick could fight dressed like that. The villains surely would laugh at him. Red, yellow and green, it was a ridiculous combination.

But he was a dork, so the costume fit him perfectly.

He was support for Bruce, he was like his son, she noticed. They spent a lot of time together; and the feeling of not fitting in was stronger each day. They could talk about anything, but she didn't have anything to share with Bruce. They often talked about nothing, she felt he didn't listen to her, didn't look at her.

Dick found her one afternoon, as she tested some weights in her hands.

"Hey, Helena," he said.

"Hi."

"I'm going to see Barbara next week. Wanna send her anything?"

She glared at him. Was he going to see Barbara again? She was jealous. His father preferred him, he trusted him and he could travel wherever he wanted and she couldn't. It had been almost six months since Barbara had gone and she missed her like hell.

"No, thanks."

"Hey, you could get hurt." He pointed at the weights. "Be careful."

"I know how to use these," she said, distractedly picking up another weight to test it.

"It's not for kids, you need someone to teach you. You don't know anything about fighting."

"Sure." She sighed, tired of being the "kid" of the house. "I'm sure you are the expert, Pied Piper."

"Hey, don't call me that. I'm trying to help. Grow up, Helena."

"Look who's talking." She turned and crossed her arms over her chest. "The guy that fights crime dressed as a Santa's elf."

"Shut up!"

"Shut up, you asshole!"

"If you weren't a woman, I'd kick your ass!"

"Go ahead and try it!" she challenged.

He dismissed her and turned to the bars. He was not in the mood to argue with children. "Go play, I don't want to hurt you."

Angry, Helena took a stick from one of the racks and threw it toward him, hitting his knee. He turned angrily.

"What the fuck?" he growled.

She waved a hand in front of her. "Come on, Peter Pan, punch me."

"You are crazy, kid."

Before he could react, she hit him hard in his face, sending him crashing against the wall.

"Call me crazy again and I'll kick your balls out of the house."

"Do you really want me to sweep the floor with your ass?" he growled, standing up and rubbing his jaw.

"I don't think you could do it."

"I'll show you, kid." He threw a punch at her and she ducked.

She swept his feet and he fell backwards. He hadn't expected that.

"I'm waiting, dumbass," she taunted him.

He charged at her, but she was incredibly fast an agile. He didn't see her fist coming and it hit his gut hard. Where did she get all that strength? Dick, annoyed, faked a fake move to hit her and she tried to kick him, but he held her leg in the air and threw her to the floor. She rolled and crouched to avoid being caught.

They began an exchange of blows. She moved like lightning and, suddenly, when he had her cornered, she performed an amazing jump over him and landed on his back, making him fall on the ground.

Crap. She moved like Catwoman. He turned and narrowed his eyes.

"Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"Mom. She taught me to use the strength of morons against themselves." She said angrily, "Get this in your damn head, I'm not a kid. Stop calling me kid."

"I'll kick your ass."

"Stop." Bruce's voice was heard in the room.

Both youths turned to see him.

"That was impressive, Helena," he complimented, walking toward her. "Selina showed you some great moves. Why didn't you ever tell me before?"

"Maybe because you never see me," she growled, passing by him.

He stopped her by her arm. "Hey, Helena, where are you going?"

"My room."

"Don't go. We can talk."

"Talk with your favorite child, he speaks much better than me," she snarled, freeing her arm and walking to her room.

Bruce followed her with his gaze. Dick stood next to him.

"Did you see what she did?" he said, rubbing his chin.

"Yes," he said in a calm voice. "Why the fight?"

"She is always in a bad mood. I told her not to pick up the weights or she would hurt herself."

"And she kicked your ass."

"I didn't want to hurt her."

"I imagine not." He followed Helena.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk with her."

Helena stared at the grass in the garden. It was a huge garden, maybe the part she most liked of the house, full with flowers and butterflies. Stupid Dick really pissed her off, he was always trying to be the mature one of the house, 'the man' of the house. And he was an asshole, and a big one.

"You fight pretty well," Bruce said from behind her.

She didn't respond.

"Your mother showed you really nice movements."

"She taught me how to defend myself against idiots," she mumbled, still looking to the garden.

"Dick is a good guy, don't be rude," he scolded, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I want to fight with you," she whispered suddenly, surprising him.

"Excuse me?" He wasn't sure he'd heard correctly.

"I want to fight with you," she turned and looked at him with determination.

"No," he shook his head, "I don't want that life for you. It's too dangerous."

"I want to learn. I want to be like you."

"You don't know what you are saying." He stood in front of her. Maybe it was time she knew some things about her mother's past. He was afraid to tell her, but it might help her to understand that things were not as easy as she thought. "Helena, let me tell you a secret about your mother."

The mention of her mom caught Helena's attention, everything about her was important to her. "She was a burglar, in fact the best burglar in the country."

She stared at him, not wanting to believe his words. "You are joking, right?"

"No, she was known as Catwoman, one of the best thieves ever."

Helena couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was he trying to distract her? Her mother had always been sweet and lovely, she was graceful and elegant. No way she was a thief.

"I met her when I tried to stop her after a jewelry robbery. You know I don't joke and never when I talk about your mother."

That was right, he was a very serious man. She tilted her head. This was great, her dad a crimefighter and her mom a criminal – a wonderful family. She shook her head and stood up, pacing. "You are lying, she didn't do that."

"I hunted her for a long time before stopping her. She loved to steal jewelry, art; she gave me a really hard time and… don't ask me why, but we fell in love... When she knew she was pregnant, she quit her criminal life for you. She thought that kind of work was a risk and she wanted a normal life for you. She didn't want you to have a life where you never knew if you would come home alive."

Helena was confused. "You are lying! She is dead because of you! You have a lot of enemies, they wanted revenge on you!"

Bruce shook his head, she was so wrong. "I'm afraid that one of her enemies, not mine, killed her."

"Why? I don't understand!"

"The underworld is a dark life. Criminals are unpredictable. It could have been revenge, jealousy, power. There could be many reasons."

Helena brushed her hair back angrily.

Bruce watched her in silence. After long seconds, he mumbled to her, "I'm sorry, but that is the truth."

Helena faced him. "So, if you are saying one of her enemies killed her, teach me to fight, let me find him! Let me make him pay!"

"Helena, we don't fight for revenge," he explained, lowering his head. "We fight for justice. When you fight with anger, you don't think. You will be dead before you know it. I don't want to lose you, too."

"That's a lie! You don't want to teach me! My mother deserves justice."

"And I'll give it to her. Dick and I will find your mother's murderer."

"Dick is your prefect student."

"No, it's not that, I'm trying to help him. Life was not easy for him."

"And for me it's a piece of cake?!?" she shouted, glaring to him. "Why don't you help me?"

"I didn't mean like that, Helena."

"He is perfect, he is the best at everything he does, he can go to visit Barbara, I can't!"

"Barbara needs help, support, she is recovering…"

"And I'm a nuisance right? I can take care of Barbara just like him! I can be a much better fighter than him!!! I already kicked his ass."

"Helena, this is not easy, being a hero is not a game!"

"I know that! Why do you insist on thinking that this is a game for me! It was my mother's life. I lost everything I had!! I lost my home, my life; I lost everything I loved!! I'm alone now and it hurts, hurts like hell!! But you can't see it because you don't know me, because you are not interested in knowing who I'm! You only are worried about your business and Dick!"

"That's not true." He lifted his hand to her.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled, running away. "I hate you! I hate you!"

"Helena, come here!" He tried to follow her, but the girl made an amazing jump to the top of the house. He bit his lips. Why, every time he tried to get close to her, did they move farther apart? "I'm trying Selina," he mumbled. "I'm trying."

The next months were difficult. The distance between Helena and Bruce increased dramatically. Alfred noticed the solitude of the girl and Bruce's useless efforts to try to get close to her. He could understand both, they had the same problem. They didn't know how to talk, express their feelings and emotions. There was so much pain and hurt inside them.

Alfred found Helena, one night, sitting in the living room close to the phone and staring at the fire. Next to it was the a Christmas tree. She wore a red sweater and jeans. She had cut her hair; it was short now. Hr eyes reflected sadness, a deep sadness. The girl looked distant as she stared at the fire.

"Are you all right, Miss Helena?"

"It's my first Christmas without Mom," she mumbled. "It doesn't feel like Christmas. It's so weird."

"Maybe it's time to give your heart time to heal," he said, standing up at her side with his hands behind his back. "I have noticed that you are very angry at the world. You never let your heart rest."

"I don't want to," Helena responded, fixing her eyes on the tree. "I want to keep feeling it, so I won't forget what happened to her. Someday, I'll find the man that did this to my mother and I'll make him pay."

"Revenge destroys our souls."

She looked at him. "My soul is already broken, Alfred."

"Give yourself a chance."

"I just can't find the light, Alfred."

"Have you talked with Miss Barbara?"

Helena looked at the phone next to her. "I already did. She began her therapy today. She is now doing exercises in the water, helped by two therapists. She said they are designed for back pain relief, to condition and strengthen muscles." She kept silence a few seconds before adding, "I don't want to distract her with my problems. She was so happy today, telling me that she finally started her recovery to walk again."

"It would be beneficial if you talked to her. She could give you some good advice and you would feel better."

"We will have enough time when she comes back, she needs to focus on walking."

He extended his hand and gave her a small box, wrapped in red paper. "Merry Christmas."

She smiled, taking the box. "Thanks, Alfred." She sat on the sofa crossing her legs "What is it?"

"Knowing your penchant for dark colors, I think you will love that."

"Hey, this is cool," she said, extending a dark blouse.

"Glad you approve."

She stood up and hugged him. She hugged him hard. He was the only person that she felt loved her in that cold house. "Thanks, Alfred."

"I know it's not my business, but could you accept an old man's suggestion?"

"Sure."

He smiled at her and touched her cheek. "Live, you are still so young."

Bruce was furious. He stepped inside the manor and threw is coat in the living room. Alfred was down the stairs, a tray in hand.

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs, sir. Sleeping."

He stormed to the second floor and down the hall to her room. Not knocking, he opened the door abruptly, and walked toward the curtains to open them. The bright light of day filled the room.

"Wake up," he growled.

"Hey! It's early!" Helena grumbled from under the covers.

"It's well past noon." He put his hands on his waist. "Now, wake up, we need to talk."

"What's the hurry?" Helena slowly sat up in the bed.

"What did you do this time?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Because of you, I had to fly back from Metropolis. What mess were you involved in last night? The commissioner called me, saying the police had caught you and that they needed eight men to keep you down.""

"That?" She yawned. "It was nothing. A moron tried to be smart with me and I kicked his ass."

"I told you not to use your meta skills on civilians." He growled, "You should be grateful that the commissioner is my friend and that he didn't keep you in jail all night."

"He tried to be smart with me, and he tried to sell drugs to a minor."

"Call the police."

"There is a lot of corruption there," she explained, removing the blankets from her bed and standing up. She checked the clock. It was one in the afternoon, an obscene hour to be awake. "He never will try to sell drugs to minors again, you can be sure of that."

"I told you that I don't want you pretending to be a hero."

"I was not pretending," she stood up in front of him, "and he started the fight. I told him he was a moron and he pushed me."

"And, afterwards, you almost destroyed the entire bar."

"Hey," she said, walking toward her closet, "half of the bar was members of his gang. They tried to hit me."

"Helena, I don't want to see you in trouble again. I am warning you…A month ago, it was that car accident."

"It was not was an 'accident.' The guy stole a car! I stopped him from getting away with it."

"By crashing your own car!"

"I still have the bike."

"Please, Helena," Bruce pointed at her with his finger, "next time I'm not going to help you and you will spend a few days in jail." He stormed out of the room and slammed the door.

She had always wondered whether or not he'd do that. Whatever. She never knew him before, And, now, she still didn't know him and she didn't care.

She walked toward the bathroom. Suddenly calling an stranger 'father' was not normal. Every time she pronounced the word, it sounded surreal, out of context…

He had been looking for her, trying to "talk" with her. She couldn't understand why he was interested. Every time they tried, the 'talk' finished in a big argument. She thought he wanted to play the role of "good father" and that the role didn't fit him.

He could handle the most important company in the country and deal with the most dangerous criminals, but he didn't have any clue about how to take care of a teenager.

Helena always thought he didn't know her, that he didn't care about her pain. That he didn't look at her… because she was sure, that in some way, she reminded him of her mother and he couldn't stand it.

She always had felt like a piece of annoying furniture in that manor, always out of place, as an intruder. She missed her room, her mom-- her smell, her caress. She missed her smile, her loud laugh and her voice.

She missed her home, her world.

Living in that big manor made her feel more alone and empty; the only one that made her feel loved was Alfred.

He was tender and always had a fond smile for her. She could talk to him, open herself a little to him, but he wasn't her mom and he wasn't Barbara.

Luckily, her 'father' traveled a lot and he spent a lot of time working on his business. He spent many days or weeks far from her and, the days he stayed at home, she would to go out until late, but that was not strictly necessary. He spent almost every night out and usually awoke at midday… the perfect time, she was at school by then.

She hated school, but it was better than staying at home with him.

At night, it was easy; she was a party girl and, after having a good time being the socialite at New Gotham night clubs, she would to go out to join the night, to feel the wind caressing her face with its cold whispers.

After a long shower, she walked inside her room again and found Alfred preparing her a cup of warm coffee.

"Hi Alfred."

"Did you piss him off again?"

"Not much, just a bit." She grinned.

"How long to you intend to play this game with him?"

"I don't know, it's fun."

"You are playing a dangerous game."

"Not my intention," she said, letting her self fall on her couch.

He gave her the cup and lifted his eye brow.

She rolled her eyes. "All right, just a bit."

"He was so angry that I'm sure he didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Miss Barbara arrives today."

She was completely still for a brief second, no one would notice it. But Alfred, knowing her so well, could detect her brief hesitation.

"Good for her, I imagine she is much better now."

"You always talked about her with affection, what happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said, drinking her coffee.

"You two talked often, but I've noticed that you haven't spoken in months."

"She was in recovery," she shrugged her shoulders. "She was always in therapy and… I think she was so focused on it… and I didn't want to distract her."

"And when she called, you were at parties or in a new mess."

"Sort of…"

"Well," Alfred said, "she will be here for dinner. Her flight arrives at six and she will come here."

"Good." She smiled at him. "I'm going to the club to swim."

"Have a nice day." He shook his head, smiling. She was incorrigible.

When he left the room, she put the coffee to the side and stood up. She put her palms on the window and looked outside.

Barbara was returning. She hadn't heard from her in months. From her father, she knew Barbara was working extra hours to recover, to be the same woman she was before the shooting. In the mean time, the older woman had forgotten everything else, including her.

Barbara didn't call her often anymore and, when she did call, Helena was never at home. The few times they did chat, Barbara was in a hurry, leaving to go to the rehabilitation center. She felt as a nuisance for her. It was normal, she was a kid.

Just a kid.

She felt, then, more alone than ever, knowing that no one would take her of her. The only person that had loved her was her mother. Barbara had abandoned her, too.

She picked up her sports bag and walked to the door; she needed to get out of that place. It was suffocating her.

TBC