Chapter 3: The Book
It was late when Lily arrived home. Her mother remonstrated with her, but Lily pointed out she had no homework or chores to do, so what was the point in staying home?
"But where have you been all this time?'
'Down by the river, with a friend' She saw Petunia, who was having tea at the table, give a guilty glance at her mother.
Lily glared at her sister. 'Mum you let Petunia stay out all day – she finished school before I did, and she's always out with her friends looking at shop windows or listening to music in the park. I'd – I'd rather do something different, that's all!'
'Different?'
'Well, my friend and I are going to read some old books tomorrow. I like reading, and Petunia doesn't' she said defensively.
This was true, her mother reflected – Lily was somewhat of a bookworm, whereas Petunia couldn't care less about books. She sighed and gave up .She would have liked them to stay together, but there was no forcing it. Anyway, if they were reading, Lily should be Ok – better than the stuntman antics Petunia said she got up to in the playground.
As for the boy, for Petunia had told her who Lily's 'friend' was; he was the epitome of an abused and neglected child. The few times she had seen him, when he was much younger, the wild, hunted look in his eyes spoke more eloquently than the shabby clothes and dark bruises on his pale skin. If Lily befriended him, and had still sought his company after her forced confinement throughout the winter months, then he could not be as bad as Petunia tried to make out. She trusted her younger daughter's judgement more than that of her eldest. Lily had always been able to see the good in everyone, whereas Petunia gave a perfunctory glance and pronounced judgement based mainly on what the person was wearing.
Perhaps she would ask Lily to invite him over; maybe they could help him...
Reading old books... somehow that did not fit the image of a slum kid ... but then he was strange. She remembered what Petunia had said about him, and Lily, and magic. She shook her head – the things they came up with! But a niggling doubt remained at the back of her mind ... Lily was so strange sometimes too.
The two sisters had gone their separate ways since last summer- Petunia attended secondary school now, and had made new friends, had new interests. Some of her friends lived in the neighbourhood, and she was constantly phoning them, or meeting them in the park. She started to refer to Lily as 'my kid sister' when alone with her friends, because it made her feel more grown-up. She realised early on that she couldn't get Lily interested in her new friends, or in window shopping, and so turned the tables on her by telling her 'You're too young to come along'.
Lily did not seem to mind as much as Petunia had hoped – in fact; she seemed only interested in sneaking off to the river with that boy from Spinner's End. Petunia remembered what had happened last summer. She had been very offended when Lily forgave him. They had quarrelled. However, she was wary of confronting him again, so, although she guessed where Lily was going, she did not dare follow her again. Besides, she reminded herself, she had new friends now, - normal ones, not like that Snape freak,- she wouldn't be seen dead with someone who was so badly dressed.
She felt a twinge of curiosity however. Were they doing magic? She pushed the thought from her mind – they were just freaks, both of them!
The rift between the sisters grew imperceptibly bigger, though Lily, at least, would not admit it. The fact that Petunia did not want to be friends with Severus did not worry her so much any more – she blamed it on Petunia's new friends, new interests – Petunia said it was because she was now a young lady, while she, Lily, was still a kid.
Lily did not mind – the wonderful days spent with Severus by the riverside made her forget everything else but planning the next day's adventure.
The summer days rolled on, and Severus and Lily met almost every day by the riverside, near the still pool. Severus had let Lily borrow his books, one by one. Most were rather old, since they had belonged to his mother, but books were not changed very often at Hogwarts, so if still in a reasonable condition they could be used from generation to generation. Lily returned them back to him diligently as soon as she had finished reading. Sometimes she was a bit overwhelmed at all she would have to learn, and, without a wand, it was difficult to know if she could do it or not. Some things she did not even understand at all.
'Don't worry' Severus used to reassure her 'The first spells are not that difficult. I know cos' I've tried them' he lowered his voice 'I took my Mum's wand a few times. But don't tell anyone, or I'll be in trouble'
'Did your mum notice?'
'No. I was careful.'
He didn't tell her that the last time had been when his mother was in bed nursing a twisted ankle. His father had accidentally pushed her down the stairs in a drunken rage. He had not even stopped to see the damage he'd done, but stormed out of the house into the night. Severus had prepared a soothing potion with his mother's wand and made her take it, telling her it was muggle medicine to relieve pain. She had been too distraught and in pain to argue, or realise that the effect was far too good to be anything muggle-made.
She made him leave the bedroom immediately then, - not wishing him to witness her tears of anger and humiliation. Severus had wondered back into the kitchen and saw her wand on the table where he had just left it. He would have to hide it - it would be better not to remind his father of its existence, especially if he came back in a worse state. In the meantime, however, he could use it ... he had done so on a number of occasions and no one was any the wiser. If he did not move too far away from where his mother was, the Ministry would not be able to tell who was casting the spell...
'My cousins are coming over this summer.'
'Wh-What?' Severus had been so lost in his memory of last week's events that he hadn't heard her.
'My cousins- they're coming in two weeks' time'
'Oh' he tried to look pleased.
'Don't you have cousins?' Lily was walking barefooted along one of the fallen logs, her arms outstretched like a tight rope walker.
'Well, yes, but I never met them'
'How come?'
There was no answer. Lily jumped down and sat beside him.
'It's complicated.' He didn't like the way the conversation was going, "I have no cousins on my father's side, and he was an only child. I have some cousins on my mothers' side, but since she was disowned by her family, I don't know anything about them.' he spoke fast, hoping it was enough information to satisfy her. But Lily, of course, wanted to know more.
'Why was your Mum disowned by her family?'
Severus got up and walked to the water's edge, so she would not see his confusion. He started to throw the willow leaves they had collected back into the water. How was he going to explain that his Mother came from a very old wizarding family, and that the reason she had been disowned was that she had disgraced the family by marrying a muggle...?
'Severus?' Lily realised that perhaps she had been prying.
'Well, let's say they didn't approve of her marrying my father.'
She did not question him further but told him about her cousins, Daniel and Sheila.
'Sheila's my sister's age and Daniel's two years older – he's going to be fifteen soon – almost a grown-up, I guess! They'll be staying for two weeks – you'll meet them too, Severus.'
His stomach clenched "I-I think better not, Lily' he stammered.
'Why not? You'll get to know them. It'll be alright'
'I don't get along too well with other muggle kids. They – they usually make fun of me!' As if she hadn't noticed, he thought bitterly. He felt himself flushing and was glad he was standing with his back to her.
'But why would they do that?' she cried indignantly 'Anyway, my cousins aren't like that! And – and besides, you're my friend!'
Severus looked at her. She was on her feet now, in her earnestness. He gave her a shy smile – he had never been called that before, and, although he knew they were friends by now, it was good to hear it out loud, from her own lips.
'That's very nice of you, Lily. I'll meet your cousins if you insist, but it won't be the same thing with them around. We'll have to be careful what to say or do – we can't talk about magic.'
'It's Ok, Severus, I'll be careful not to let anything slip, but at least I'll get to see you. Come on, I want to catch my first gillyworm before I go home. Come show me how.'
And they took off their shoes and waded in the pool till the late summer sun started setting.
Lily's cousins came in August and she found they had grown a lot since the last time she had seen them the previous year. Daniel had grown taller, and was moody and pimply. He spent his time listening to his portable transistor. Sheila was expropriated by Petunia as soon as she set foot in their house, and the two girls spent a lot of time closeted in Petunia's bedroom looking at fashion magazines. They rarely let Lily in. Consequently, she was left with the grown-ups for most of the time.
After she dutifully answered her Aunt and Uncle's questions about school and schoolwork, she managed to get away and ran off down to the riverside where she knew Severus was waiting for her. She explained that her cousins seemed different and older now.
'Perhaps they'll relax a bit more soon' she said. Severus privately hoped they wouldn't. He really did not want to meet them .Then Lily explained she had to be off since they were going to a restaurant that evening.
'And then we're off to show them around the whole county the next few days - it's going to be so boring! I'll come as soon as I can get away, Severus – perhaps they'll want to come with me for a change, later on. Bye, got to dash now!'
However, days passed and Lily did not come, even though he waited for her at 'their place' every day at the same time, she did not appear. When she did, after five days, it was to say that she wasn't able to persuade them to come, and neither could she get away, because her parents insisted it was her duty to accompany her Aunt , Uncle and cousins.
Time dragged for Severus that week. As had happened before, some of the joy of reading his books and wandering by the riverside looking at plants and fungi seemed to have gone away with Lily. He did not even go to the riverside pool so often. It seemed strangely desolate now. He spent more time at home - his mother seemed to have recovered, and his father was back to staying at home during the evenings, muttering abuse at everyone, but sober.
Severus often wondered when alone in his bedroom, if his parents had ever felt affection for each other. Ever since he could remember they had rowed – his father's shouting and his mother's screaming retorts used to send him running to a corner, hands over his ears, crying.
He did not understand then, half of the words they were hurling at each other – he only knew it scared him, and made his already shaky world crumble to bits.
But he was older now, and much wiser. He did not cry any more now – he just got out of their way.
He knew the reason his parents fought was because of him, his strangeness. His father resented him and his mother being magical. Sometimes they argued over trivial things, sometimes over his mother's use of magic. Sometimes she threatened him with it, and he would in return threaten her with abandonment.
Severus knew she had no one else to support her. Her family, the Princes, were an old,
and reasonably well-to-do wizarding family, and they had made it clear to her that she would not see a galleon of their money if she brought disgrace to the family name by marrying the muggle, Tobias Snape.
His mother had told him this once, when he had pressed her to tell him about other wizards and witches. He had pestered her for ages, desperate to find someone like him – perhaps even his own age. On that occasion, she had told him that his father had wanted to settle in that particular town because it lacked any magical families. She also warned him- repeatedly – to stay away from muggles –
'My family was right, Severus, muggles are cruel and stupid. All they want is to find a way to steal our magic. Never trust a muggle! They are jealous of us. Look at us! We live in a filthy hovel with hardly enough money to put food on the table. And what does your father do? Blame it on us, of course!'
She did not want to discuss this any more and Severus did not push her.
There were times , when his father was not home , when she would tell him stories about her family – speaking with longing for those days , but also with resentment at their unfair treatment .Severus listened eagerly to these rare tales – magic in the Prince household was admired and flaunted, not used secretively, furtively, like in the house of Tobias Snape.
In the muggle world Eileen had no skills that could get her a job. She was entirely dependant on a husband she now resented and mistrusted, practically his prisoner. Being proved wrong by her family, and being at her husband's mercy, made Eileen's life increasingly bitter.
Tobias Snape liked to feel the control he exerted over his wife - it was nothing short of miraculous. She was a witch and could immobilise him with a flick of her wand...
(His mind cringed away from the times in the past when she had used the wand on him). Yet, although she refused, or, as she claimed, could not, teach him magic, he still had her at his mercy now. It one of the few things that stopped him from leaving her: her begging for money, for food.
He had fallen for her when he was just a lad – entranced by her dark looks and mysterious ways. Later when he found that she was a witch, he had wanted her to teach him her secrets. When she had refused, it had been the beginning of the end of their relationship.
The birth of their son gave a temporary reprieve, only to regress to a worse disappointment when, at some 2 years of age, he discovered that the boy was gifted like her, with the innate ability to perform magic. That was the final straw for Tobias – no amount of wand-waving had ever produced so much as a spark for him, and yet his child could cause things to move without touching them, even without a wand, almost before he could walk.
Eileen had hidden her wand after catching him using it (he had been trying to make muggle money!) but Tobias never wanted to touch it again – in his rage and disappointment, he had not wanted to see, or hear, anything else about magic – if he could not do it, then no one in his household would be allowed to - at least not in his presence!
Severus was only partially aware of the real reasons behind his parent's bitterness – he thought his father hated him because of his weirdness. His father was a football fanatic and had even played with a youth team once. Severus vaguely remembered a time when his father had tried to teach him the game and get him interested, but Severus had been hopeless at it. In his frustration, he had magically exploded the ball and that had been the last time his father ever tried to even talk to him about the game again. Severus still remembered the beating he got for bursting that ball.
As for his mother, he thought that if he had not been born, she might have found the courage to leave his father and start a life for herself in the magic world, perhaps even be reconciled with her family.
Severus sighed. It felt lonelier now he knew Lily, to stay by himself, whereas once he had been used to it. Since his mum was not home and his father was at work, he decided to go and have a look in the attic – that is where his mother hid all her old books and things from her previous life, so his father would not find them – not that he ever bothered to go up in the attic anyway. Severus knew that his mothers' things were very cleverly hidden, sometimes by magic concealment.
But he hoped to uncover something new. He rummaged through some old boxes, but they contained only moth-eaten robes. Another old and battered trunk-like box or chest held only some broken quills and empty potion bottles. An interesting-looking casket he found in this trunk yielded only a gobstone set – a very handsome one, true, but nothing that really interested him. Some old copies of the Daily Prophet lined the bottom of the trunk. Having found nothing else, he had started to read them when he noticed that there was a tiny black hole near the bottom right-hand corner of the trunk. It seemed to be damage caused by mice trying to nibble through the wood. Severus had a closer look – the mice hadn't managed to go right through the wood, but they had made a big-enough hole for him to realise that the trunk had a false bottom.
He turned the trunk over, his curiosity aroused. He could not figure out how to open it - it seemed sealed on all sides. He had almost given up when he noticed that , on the bottom of the trunk in one of the corners , two letters , 'S.P.' were jest visible inlaid with a different, darker kind of wood than that which constituted the chest. They were as scratched and worn as the rest of the trunk- more so because they were on the bottom side of it. Severus ran his fingers along them, wondering who S.P. was. The trunk belonged to his Mum – probably her school trunk – but perhaps it had also belonged to other members of the Prince family. The two letters were slightly depressed – was it just the inlaying technique, or -? He pressed harder and there was a slight clicking noise from one side of the overturned trunk. Severus saw that one side of the false bottom, which had appeared so solid, had opened to reveal an inch-high narrow space. He peered inside – at first he did not see anything but then he glimpsed the edge of what appeared to be parchment.
With some difficulty, Severus managed to pull out a book – it was bound in brown leather, and the simple title was written in faded gilt lettering: THE DARK ARTS.
Severus caught his breath – this was a treasure; if the book had been so carefully hidden
(by the looks of it, the compartment had last been opened a great many years ago , before his Mum's time, probably by the original S.P.) then it must be about very powerful magic. It must have been kept hidden because the dark arts were frowned upon by the wizarding community.
His Mum however, had told him that her family and many other old wizarding families still practised the dark arts.
'They keep it quiet and use it responsibly' she had explained. He had not known why then, but now, with this book in his hands, he felt a whole world would open up for him. He opened it excitedly – it seemed to be a manuscript. The handwriting was old-fashioned, curlyesque, but small and cramped. On closer inspection, he saw that the author seemed to copying other books. There were references to other books from which the writer seemed to have copied spells, even sketches, but there were also some notes which seemed to be the authors' own.
Severus flipped eagerly through the old, yellowing pages, but there was no name – neither of the writer or owner of the book. The only thing he found, on the very last page were the initials S.P. and a date : were in the same handwriting as that of the scribe so he assumed that S.P. was the writer and owner of the book, though the source of his information seemed to have been gleaned from other, perhaps, older, books.
Over the next days Severus browsed through the old book. He finally understood why dark magic was shunned by the wizarding world. It did indeed seem to cause a lot of harm and was needlessly cruel, but it also spoke about strange beasts and beings that he had never heard of; potions that were not mentioned in his other books; spells which he could hardly even understand, though he read them over and over.
Severus was fascinated and spent hours deciphering the old-fashioned script, even though he knew that it was not only dark magic, but very advanced magic too, which he would probably not be able to carry out even if he were allowed a wand.
He made sure neither his mother nor his father even caught him reading it. Mostly he took the book with him to the grove by the riverside where he knew he would not be disturbed.
One day though, when he was lying down in the shade of the high trees, the book open before him, he heard a shout in the distance. He shut the book quickly, and hid it under the others. But it was Lily and she was alone.
'Hi Severus' she said, throwing herself down beside him 'Finally, it's over! I thought they would never leave. My cousins have changed so much. They hardly even spoke to me – I had to spend these two weeks with my Aunt and Uncle and it got so boring. How about you? What have you been doing?'
'I've found something really exciting Lily, look-!' and he showed her the book and told her about how and where he had found it. Lily was suitably impressed.
'Wow! It looks so old! But, the 'Dark Arts', Severus? Isn't that bad stuff?'
'Well, yes, Lily that's why it must have been kept hidden. But its powerful magic, too. I'm sure very few qualified wizards know about this.'
Lily was leafing through it. One of the sketches made her exclaim in horror.
'Severus, this picture – it looks like a – a – dead body!' she bent closer to decipher the tiny writing. 'It is a dead body! An Inferius, I think it says '...to animate the corpse so that it will do his bidding, the dark wizard must first.... Severus, this – this can't be good. I don't think we should be reading this...'
"Lily, it's not as though we are going to try out that incantation. There's loads more stuff in there.'
He showed her the parts wherein the strange creatures were described.
'They look evil.' she said
'All the more reason to know about them.' he said, but Lily remained unconvinced and although she looked through the pages with him, she grew increasingly uncomfortable with the book that had fascinated Severus so much.
It was her first encounter with dark magic. Previously she had not even known that it existed – she thought that magic was just making wonderful things happen. It never crossed her mind that in the wizarding world, as in the muggle world, evil existed and had been refined into an art.
The book was a real eye-opener, and it scared her.
Severus on the other hand, although disappointed she didn't like it, had known about the existence of Dark magic, and like his mother, had a more matter-of-fact attitude towards it. Actually, he thought that knowledge of the Dark arts was better than remaining ignorant, but he saw that Lily was rather shocked at the book's contents – she was a muggle-born and had led a far more sheltered life than he had. So, from then on, he did not get the book again when they were together, but replied he had put it back were he found it, in answer to her anxious enquiries.
The truth was of course, that he kept the book hidden under a loose floorboard in his room, to be perused whenever he was sure to be alone.
The last few weeks of summer passed happily for them. They met almost every day in 'their' spot by the river, collecting plants and fungi and small water creatures, and learning to identify them. Severus was an inexhaustible mine of information and Lily was quick and eager to learn. Soon she knew all of the more important ingredients of potion-making and where to find those that grew, or lived, by the riverside.
However, the day before Lily had to start school finally came. She had persuaded her mother to let her have some sandwiches and snacks for a 'picnic' because she wanted to make her last day with Severus last as long as possible. So they had been down by the river since early morning and had managed to collect quite a few berries and early mushrooms. Severus had even taught her the first steps for preparing simple potions. 'My Mum will finish them off' he said. Though, many times it was he himself who did so – whenever he could get his hands on Eileen's wand.
In fact, as the day was drawing to a close, he surprised her by giving her a small glass phial with a transparent, slightly bluish liquid inside.
'This is for you. 'he said 'I made it myself'.
'What is it?'
'It's invisible ink. Not like the muggle one with lemon juice. This reveals itself only to one person. In this case – yourself.'
"Wow! Severus, how did you do it?'
'Well, I thought since you said winter seemed kind of long last time, I thought we could write notes without alarming your parents by owl post, at least until you get your Hogwarts' letter'.
'That's brilliant! Severus, you're a genius! And I only got you a couple of sandwiches! Nothing as nice as this.'
He reddened. He did not tell her he had used one long red hair, which he found in one of the books he lent her, to make the potion, as well as one of his.
'Only you and I can read whatever is written with that ink, it will be invisible to anyone else. I've got some flyers and old brochures you can write on the back of - they won't attract anyone's attention.'
'But how do I get it to you? Do I post it?'
'Um-, no, better not. There's a house nobody's lived in for years in the street parallel to yours. It has a broken mailbox at the edge of its garden – I thought you could leave any note you write there.
'You mean the derelict house at the end of Spencer Street? Yes, I know the one. I could easily slip a note in on the way to the shops on weekends. I'm glad you thought of this Severus, it won't seem such a long time this winter, if I could keep in touch\at least'
'Here, do you want to try it out, Lily?'
He gave her some parchment and a quill. They moved out of the shadow of the trees to a well-illuminated part of the river where they found a flat smooth stone by the water's edge. Lily knelt down and carefully opened the phial. She dipped the quill in the transparent liquid and wrote on the paper. The watery substance glowed for an instance on contact with the paper, and then turned black, so that the word 'Lily' in large girlish letters appeared on the top of the paper.
Lily admired her handiwork 'There isn't a lot of ink – better not waste it' she said as she carefully stoppered her phial. She looked at her name on the top of the page, then carefully folded it in two, and then twisted the corners inwards and the bottom upwards so that she had a paper boat with 'Lily' written on the side.
'Look, Severus, I'm going to float it down the river'
'Give it here first Lily. I'll put the frog-spawn preparation we made earlier on it – it will keep it afloat longer' He sat down and smeared her paper boat with the slimy substance. Then he noticed she was writing something else on another parchment, which she then folded in the same way until she had another paper boat. This time, there was 'Severus' written on its side.
'There' she said 'Now we can both float down the river together'
Severus smiled and handed her the boats. She waded to where the water was flowing faster and released the two white boats onto the river.
They watched them flowing gently away down the river till they were two tiny white specks that disappeared around the river bend.
The sun was setting now and they both knew it was time to say goodbye. Lily picked up her things sadly
'Well, I've got to be off now' she looked up at him 'I'm going to miss you, Severus.'
'Lily, this won't have to be like last winter. Just leave me a note and I will find you somehow, somewhere. I promise' he said earnestly
She gave him a small smile and turned away quickly, not wishing him to see that she was close to tears, and hurried up the sloping bank.
Severus stood watching her till she was out of sight, and then shivered slightly with a sudden chill that was not only due to the fading sun. Tonight he would take out and read the book of Dark Arts - he couldn't think of anything else that might fill the sudden empty feeling inside.
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