A/N: Not beta'd, so please excuse any lingering mistakes.

Disclaimer: JKR owns the world and characters of Harry Potter, not me. I'm not making any money from the posting of this story.


Chapter Three: Living With It

Hermione was sitting at her table, drinking tea when she heard a pounding on her door. She didn't bother to get up. She didn't want to see anyone. No one could help her, and she sure as hell couldn't help anyone either. Closing her eyes, she did her best to ignore the knocking and focus on her tea.

"Hermione Granger, if you do not open this door this instant I am breaking it down!" A voice shouted through the door.

Hermione shook her head; it was Ginny. That girl seriously doesn't know how to take no for an answer. Sure enough, a few moments later a massive blast was heard. Hermione let out a tired sigh.

"I can't believe you broke down my damn door," Hermione said, still sitting at the table. She looked over at the entryway.

Ginny came into the kitchen and gawked at Hermione, her expression one of horror.

Hermione knew what Ginny was seeing. She had lost so much weight, and her body was covered in scars. She knew that she looked like a corpse.

"Hermione.." Ginny began.

Hermione shook her head. "Please, Gin. Just leave. Don't make this harder." She returned her attention to her tea, gripping the cup tightly.

Ginny came over and took Hermione's hand from the cup, squeezing it tightly. "Please move in with me. I'm worried about you."

Hermione shook her head, "I'm fine. There isn't anything that could be done."

Ginny was persistent. "Please, Hermione."

Hermione stood, pulling her hand from Ginny's grip and bringing her cup to the sink. "Ginny. I can't. Not after.. not after what I did. I don't deserve your sympathy or your worry. I'm not worth a moment of your time. Leave." Her voice was cold, and she knew it would hurt Ginny, but she needed Ginny to leave.

Ginny stomped her foot in frustration. "Hermione Granger, I care about you! I saw you at Ron's grave a few days ago. I saw how broken you are. It isn't your fault. What happened isn't your fault."

Hermione didn't budge. She looked out her tiny kitchen window, tears in her eyes.

"Hermione, I've lost so many people because of this damn war. Please, don't let me lose you, too." Ginny looked down, unable to fight back the tears that were now spilling forward.

Hermione turned, her heart aching. She looked at how hurt and in pain. "I'll move in with you."

Ginny looked at her, her eyes full of hope. "We'll get through this. I promise."

Hermione simply nodded, not trusting her voice. She didn't believe Ginny, but she'd play along, for her friend's sake.

Ginny and her spent the rest of the day packing up Hermione's things. It was a waste of time in Hermione's opinion, but she was willing to go through the motions to make her friend happy. After everything of Hermione's was out of the house, she Apparated to Ginny's flat in Diagon Alley. Ginny had already set up a bedroom for her and everything.

Hermione sat on the sofa, curling up into a ball. "Gin.. I can't do this." She shook her head, immediately regretting her decision to go with Ginny.

Ginny sat down next to her friend, pulling her close. "Of course you can. You're a strong woman. You can pull through this. Things will get better; you'll see."

Hermione shook her head, tears falling from her eyes. "It's my fault, Ginny. All my fault.."

Ginny shook her adamantly. "Don't you dare say such a thing, Hermione! It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone. You did.. we all did.. what we had to. We all had to make sacrifices."

"But how do we live with them?" Hermione asked, her voice cracking with the sound of her despair.

"We just do," Ginny replied calmly. She was determined to break through to Hermione, even if it took years. "I'm not giving up on you, Hermione, and you shouldn't give up either."

"Well I can't. I can't live with my mistake, with my regrets," Hermione said. A silent sob escaped her lips.

"You'll learn," Ginny said, her voice firm and confident. She went over to the cupboard and pulled out a dreamless sleeping draught. "You need some rest, Hermione. Take this, all of it. Please."

Hermione did as she was told. She walked into her room and plopped upon her bed. She cried as she felt herself drift off to sleep, desperately wishing that she was the one who died.

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