Author's note: So it took me FOREVER to write this and it's nothing but one long flashback, but I can say that I'm proud that I got through it and it's even the longest chapter yet! And the intro and outro of the song is Last Night by Motion City Soundtrack which is what I've been listening to since before school started again. Take a guess as to what I was listening to when I started writing this. Anyway, long chapter with a lot of sadness in it, so brace yourselves or don't because I don't know who reads these things except for the people who comment. (Who are awesome, by the way.) Whatever, just read it through and comment if you find a problem with wording, grammar, flow, or just want to give me a comment for no reason. Oh yeah, and if it's italisized and in hyphens, then it's lyrics but if it's just italisized, then it's a flashback.

Disclaimer: Yeah, don't own Strawberry Panic because if I did, Tamao would have totally beaten down Shizuma and I would just laaauuugh...

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Chapter 3: Last Night…

-I'm still frustrated from last night

Things happened in half time

I'm sick of the bends.

My panic research was no help

I sink into myself

Afraid of the fall that never ends

I wait but I'm too tired to play pretend

I suffocate until the end.-

The soft song was peaceful to Tamao as she sat there relaxed, listening to the English lyrics of one of her favorite songs on that particular album. She admitted that it was a little dreary and at some points downright depressing, but she found that a lot of times those emotions helped her get through her writing: especially when a deadline is approaching.

Now, however, there was no impending doom on the horizon for another month, and she was almost done with the last chapter as it is. After seeing the wrath of her editor, she learned that it was a bad idea to shrug off a deadline and made sure that it didn't happen again. Now she was simply listening to the song because in some ways, the emotions of the lyrics eventually led back to her own thoughts of that one night so long ago.

The dorm room was silent like usual, and the curtains of the single window were shut, keeping out the early darkness of winter. A sixteen year-old Tamao was sitting at her desk like normal: the only sound in the room her quiet and steady breathing and the scratching of the pencil she was using. She had grown accustomed to the silence that seemed to always cloak her like a veil. It was to the point where she barely heard much else: even when around others in class or just around in general.

She wasn't, despite others' thoughts when they see her, spacing out completely, but rather constantly thinking about anything and everything she thought needed to be pondered. Recently, however, no matter how much she tried to prevent it her thoughts seemed to always stray back to her roommate, Nagisa. Despite Tamao's request for Nagisa to have her own room in fear of the awkwardness that would follow, Nagisa made sure that they remained roommates during their fifth year.

Thinking about Nagisa was just what Tamao was doing as she moved her pencil across the once-blank paper in an attempt to finish her creative writing paper in time. It just so happened that when she reached the climax of her story, her thoughts became a reality as the familiar red head burst through the door.

"Hi, Tamao-chan!" Nagisa greeted enthusiastically as she made her way across the room to her best friend. Tamao sighed silently to herself as she set her pencil down and turned to face Nagisa with her usual friendly smile.

"Hello, Nagisa-chan. Did you have a good time with Shizuma today?" She had dropped the "-sama" from her name for awhile now, as she saw no point in adding it nowadays.

"Yeah, I had a blast. We went to see a movie first and then she treated me to an early dinner at this fancy restaurant. I'm completely stuffed after the filet mignon with chocolate mousse for dessert, but it was a little difficult to use a fork and knife. Needless, I won't be having dinner though, so just go to dinner without me," she concluded soundly.

"Actually, I wasn't planning on going to dinner tonight," Tamao began uncertainly. "I'm not feeling very hungry right now." She plastered I nervous smile on her face, which thankfully Nagisa took without much indifference.

"If you're not hungry, I guess that's okay, but you haven't been eating much lately. Are you feeling okay?" Nagisa asked the blue-haired girl with a worried expression on her face. This wasn't a question Tamao looked forward to as she let her eyes drop down to her knees.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered after a short pause, but it was long enough for even Nagisa to notice. She sat down on the edge of her bed and bade Tamao to do the same, which she reluctantly complied. An awkward air was beginning to rise between the two, and both of the girls could feel the tension in the atmosphere rising.

"Is there something on your mind? You haven't been acting like you normally do," Nagisa stated as she looked into Tamao's eyes, trying to get her to do the same. Tamao, however, just continued to stare at her knees, not having the nerve to look Nagisa in the face. "Does it bother you that I'm always with Shizuma?" This question took Tamao completely by surprised, as she looked up suddenly with a look of shock mixed with confusion. Even Nagisa didn't really know why she had asked the question, but she tried to keep a straight face as she waited for Tamao's answer.

"If you took out the 'always' then that would be it exactly," Tamao wanted to say, but made sure she kept her mouth shut. Instead, she answered with a foolproof and completely ambiguous phrase and hoped that the conversation would end with it. It didn't. "I guess I have been a bit lonely lately, but it doesn't matter so much that you need to stop seeing her any more than you do now." She smiled and waved her hand as if to scattered the conversation out into the air. Nagisa saw right through it however, and continued to barrage Tamao with words that she thought were innocent, whereas everyone of them pierced Tamao's heart like an arrow.

"Tamao-chan, you're my best friend, and if you wanted I would make time to spend with you. We never hang out together as it is, and I'm afraid of us drifting apart any further. Whatever happened to the enthusiastic Tamao-chan that I met last year?"

"She changed," Tamao mumbled barely loud enough for Nagisa to hear.

"What?"

"She changed," the blue-haired girl repeated, "when she experienced emotions that she had never felt before: pain, jealousy, regret, and love…" The last word was almost inaudible, but the silent room allowed Nagisa to hear it quite clearly.

"Tamao-chan?"

"I never thought that it would turn out like this, but I guess I should have acted sooner." Tears started to well up in Tamao's eyes as she continued to mumble more to herself than Nagisa. "If I had just told you sooner… things might have turned out differently…" She lifted her eyes to look into Nagisa's, tears cutting their way down her cheeks now. "Because the truth is that I love you, Nagisa."

The room seemed to become even quieter, as if both of its occupants were holding their breath. Nagisa's eyes seemed to have widened to twice their normal size as she looked in disbelief at Tamao who was now crying openly, not daring to look at the red head. That's when Nagisa did something that Tamao wasn't expecting. Tamao suddenly found herself in Nagisa's arms, her eyes opened in surprise but soon her emotions took over again and she continued to cry into Nagisa's shoulder. They stayed like that for some time, and slowly Tamao found herself drifting off to sleep, but not caring as she felt exhausted from the built up emotions suddenly pouring themselves out of her body. The last thing she remembered in consciousness was a single tear not from her, but Nagisa hitting her on the forehead and a small voice saying "I'm sorry…"

Tamao suddenly came to her senses with the sun shining through the open window of the dorm room. She glanced around the room feverishly, but she didn't find what, or more correctly who she was looking for. What she did find, however, made her blood freeze in her veins as she looked at the well-made bed across the room. Nagisa's half of the room was spotless, without any kind of trace of inhabitance left on the right side of the room. Tamao could feel her eyes starting to well up, but she didn't have a tear left to cry so she just sat there breathless as recognition caused her to face the painful truth of what had happened.

Nagisa had moved out of their room for good.

-…She whispers something in my ear,

the message is unclear,

She motions outside.

I trail her closely from behind

She tries hard not to cry

She shakes underneath the pouring rain

"I can't compete with all your damn ideas.

This isn't working out for you or me.

The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend.

This is goodbye, this is the end."-

The song ended with the guitar playing until it was suddenly cut off, and Tamao finally opened her eyes as the next song began to play. "It's been so long since then, but it still feels like yesterday," she mumbled to herself as she leaned forward to open the document which held the beginnings of her last chapter. Sighing slightly to herself as she placed her fingers on the keyboard, she began typing rather brokenly as her mind still was trapped in the memory of that painful night.

The last night that they had shared together.

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A/N: So there's the 3rd chapter, and I told you it was long! But yeah, I know I didn't explain what happened between Nagisa and Shizuma but I will in the next chapter! (maybe. not fully sure yet) So just stick around a little longer and I'll have it up in a week or two. or three. or whenever my school schedule permits it but that doesn't matter to me that much. AND REVIEW PLEASE if you feel like giving me some feedback.