At lunch that day Stan was acting a little suspicious. It seemed that his mind was somewhere else and he kept zoning out when they were playing football in the snow filled yard. Kyle knew something had to be up.
"Dude, are you ok? You keep going into a world of your own." Kyle questioned after picking up the football and sitting with him on a stationary swing.
"Hm?" Stan said snapping out of his trance. "Oh yeah I'm fine I'm just thinking about Clyde and Token this morning."
"I have been doing too. Why would they start this argument now?"
Stan had been thinking the same and he rummaged his hand into his pocket and felt the note Cartman had passed him.
Kyle opened his mouth to say something else when he was stopped by another football landing at their feet. They both turned to see Cartman waving at them and signaling the ball with Kenny behind him.
"Stan, pass the ball!" Cartman cheered.
Kyle looked to him sharply and confused but Stan just shrugged. He pulled himself of the swing, picked up the ball and threw it back.
"Cheers dude!" Cartman smiled back with and over exaggerated wave to piss Kyle off and then he and Kenny continued their game.
Stan could feel Kyle's stare on him behind him and he turned around slowly and spoke before he could.
"I don't know dude, I haven't spoken to them since yesterday and this morning I got this note and-"
"You got a note?"
Stan knew it wouldn't do any harm in Kyle seeing it so just took it out of his pocket and passed it over. Kyle skimmed his eyes over it and then began shaking with rage.
"Me? Why is it always me?" Kyle cried shoving the note back at Stan.
"Hey calm down Kyle!"
"I could kill that son-of-a-bitch!" Kyle growled through gritted teeth but Stan just put a hand on his shoulder that instantly calmed him down.
"Dude, if you get worked up he's won. He did this to get you angry."
Kyle sat back into the swing and watched Cartman play happily with Kenny and then at other pairs in the playground. He remembered what he thought last night about enjoying the week and not letting Cartman or Kenny get to him. He looked up at his best friend's concerned face and smiled.
"You're right Stan. Let him do what he wants!"
Stan smiled with relief to have Kyle back and the two started to play ball again.
Cartman watched them carefully through narrowed eyes when Kenny joined him after picking up the ball.
"Here's our chance, Tweek has gone to use the bathroom leaving Craig by the slide, plus Mackay has gone to check on the sixth graders."
Cartman didn't reply but kept his gaze on Kyle and Stan as he walked passed Kenny towards Craig.
In lesson after lunch it was more of the same with Mr. Garrison asking his class the questions that would supposedly test their friendship. Kyle knew that he and Stan would always be best friends and winning this competition would only prove that to others especially Cartman, if they didn't win it wouldn't change anything between them.
"Alright children we just need to get through the last few pairs now. Let's see, Sally and Amy did you get asked?" The girls nodded. "Alright then, Craig and Tweek."
Craig looked up angrily from the message he was carving into the desk.
"No."
"Excuse me?" Mr. Garrison said in surprise.
"I'm not doing this stupid thing anymore just give the prize to some one who can be arsed."
Mr. Garrison's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he looked to Tweek. "Tweek, do you feel the same way?"
Tweek just grumbled angrily with his head down.
Stan and Kyle looked at the two and then to each other with the same confused expression before looking back at Mr. Garrison.
"Well…alright then how about Kenny and Cartman?"
Kenny and Cartman slid out of their seats and strolled to the front happily, smiling at each other. Kyle just rolled his eyes as they did, it was so obviously faked that even Mr. Garrison noticed and sighed heavily.
"Alright boys lets start with you Kenny. Would you give everything and anything to help Cartman out?"
"Yeah I guess." Kenny muffled.
"And you Cartman?"
"Are you kidding? Kenny is my best friend there is no one in here I would rather give everything to to help and I think that's what Kenny meant to say too." Cartman smiled angelically.
Yeah yeah he knows this is fake but compared to what everyone else will end up doing this was going to win him that prize fair and square and when he does Kahl will be so jealous!
The rest of the afternoon was pretty dull. When Cartman and Kenny finished their questions, Kyle and Stan were asked a few and they answered honestly, which seemed better answers than anyone else gave. It just fueled Cartman's determination.
After being the last to leave the class at three Cartman gave Kenny a nod and he nodded back before they walked away in separate directions.
In the school corridor Butters was at his locker putting some books into his bag. He had just finished zipping it up when his locker door, still open, slammed shut and Cartman was leaning against the one next to his, his hand on his locker where he had just hit it.
"Oh jeez Eric, you scared me!"
"Did I Butters? I'm sorry that was not my intention. I know these last two days have been tough on you."
Butters threw his heavy bag onto his back and gave Cartman a confused look. "Tough on me?"
"Yeah what with you being paired with Jimmy and all."
"Jimmy and I are friends."
Cartman stood up and gave Butters a sympathetic look. "Really?"
"Well yeah, why?"
"Oh no nothing. Its just…nah you don't need to know." Cartman said calmly and turned and slowly walked towards the exit.
"Know what?" Butters called after him making him smile evilly before turning back to Butters with the same sympathetic look.
"Well, Jimmy showed us all a list yesterday after school. It was of people he would rather be paired with than you Butters…a list. Let me tell you now there were girls higher than you!"
Butters began to fidget on the spot and he began twiddling his thumbs. "A list?" He said almost in tears.
"Yeah, look I'm sorry Butters. I have no doubt that Jimmy will deny it."
Cartman also had no doubt that Jimmy would ignore Butters the next day because of 'all the nasty things Butters said behind his back'. That's if Kenny has done his job.
"I –I don't believe it, we were getting along just fine!" Butters stammered.
"Yeah I know it seemed that way Butters but maybe it's for the best. He obviously wasn't on the same wave length."
"Maybe I should talk to him." Butters said and attempted to hurry past Cartman who frantically stood in his way.
"No Butters! I said to him after he showed me the list, I told him you weren't a bad guy but he didn't listen. He really doesn't want you to be his partner. Don't make a bad situation worse Butters."
Butters stood motionless for a while with a mixture of sadness and confusion on his face.
"Oh you're right Eric. At least I still have a friend like you!" Butters cried and tears began to roll down his cheeks as he sobbed.
"That's ok Butters. Well I'll see you tomorrow!" He cried merrily ignoring Butters tears and walked out through the school gates.
Everything was going smoothly. Some of the minors of the class can be dealt with over night on the internet (thank God for facebook) but soon what would stand in his way would be the most difficult pair of them all. Stan and Kyle. He had a plan of course but if it didn't work he wouldn't get another chance and that would mean that this whole thing would be a failure, because if they didn't go down they would most certainly win and splitting up everyone else would have been a complete waste of time. He had to be patient, careful and skillful.
Overnight he just had to assume that Kenny had done his part with Jimmy. He didn't doubt him as he had done well with Tweek at lunch. He looked down at the files on his desk and at the pictures of Clyde and Token who had a red cross across their pictures in red pen. Cartman popped the lid off the red pen and put a thick cross on Butters' and Jimmy's pictures and then across Craig's and Tweek's. He also drew on some of the less concerning people's files in the class like Pip and Timmy that he sorted out that evening on the Internet by hacking into accounts.
Kyle's and Stan's files were stuck on the wall and just under there's was Wendy's and Bebe's. He read over the messy writing in them once more before going to sleep ready for the big project he had planned in the morning.
The next morning Cartman and Kenny met up early outside the school just next to the path that led into its entrance. They were waiting there to tell a few girls who walked into the school a supposedly huge secret. Unlike some of the other "secrets" they had spread this week this one wasn't a lie. They knew it wasn't but the holder and creator of the secret had decided to ignore it until the week was over.
The first girl to arrive was Sally Turner, a friend of both Wendy and Bebe.
"Psst, Sally!" Cartman hissed when he saw her walking up the path with her schoolbooks under her arm.
"What do you want?"
"Wanna hear a secret about Bebe?"
This caught her attention fully and she looked around her before walking up to them.
"How do you know a secret about Bebe?"
"Wendy told us. She said she's gonna tell everyone!"
Sally looked at him hard to try and figure out if he was lying but Cartman is good at deceiving and he is especially good at lying.
"What secret?"
Cartman leaned in closer to her and beckoned her to come closer with his finger. She understandably didn't trust him at first but then gave in and leant closer.
"Bebe's shoes she wore to that slumber party a few weeks ago…were from a charity shop. Cost £3 not £300."
Sally's eyes widened and her face looked like she had just been told a secret that made her whole world crumble apart.
"A charity shop?"
Cartman laughed. "I don't see why this means so much to you girls but I bet if you ask Bebe she won't deny it. She can't now that Wendy's going to tell everyone; in fact I think loads of people already know!"
Sally's face was frozen with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. "Wendy is telling everyone?" She looked around her and then went to find another friend of hers inside. Cartman and Kenny watched her go and then smiled at each other.
"We only have to tell a few Kenny. Girl's secrets spread like wildfire."
Then the next girl showed up.
Kyle and Stan arrived a bit late because the bus was later than usual. They didn't really care that Cartman and Kenny didn't get the bus with them anymore so they just sat and tried to hold back their laughter looking at Clyde again.
When they arrived the playground was empty so they hurried into the school corridor and then ran into class where, lucky for them, the class hadn't calmed down yet so Mr. Garrison didn't notice them come in late. They sighed heavily and then finally realised what was going on around them.
None of the girls were in their seats. A few were pulling each other's hair at the back; others were frantically skimming through pages in fashion magazines like they were looking in a bible for an answer to the end of the Earth. Some were pointing and laughing at Bebe and inspecting her school shoes. Wendy stood at the front trying to find someone sane to talk to.
Stan and Kyle looked at each other and then back at the scene in front of them. Mr. Garrison was attempting to calm down some of them and break up some fights and all the boys stood frozen in their seats with the same expressions as Kyle and Stan- utter confusion, with a hint of fear.
Stan then walked forwards to Wendy as Kyle saw a girl in the corner of the room behind him rocking back and forth with bloodshot eyes mumbling something to herself.
"Dude, what is all this?" Stan asked Wendy not knowing if he really wanted the answer.
"I don't know how they found out." Wendy muttered insanely so Stan stepped back from her.
"ALRIGHT!" Mr. Garrison screamed and all the children looked to him.
"Is there a problem in here m'ckay?" Mr. Mackay said as he swung the door open after hearing the scream.
"I don't know what the hell is going on Mr. Mackay!" Mr. Garrison cried and leant back on his desk exhausted.
"M-M'ckay well I think one of you girls better explain."
None of the girls said anything until one of them stood up. "Is it true Wendy?" She spoke quietly as she stood up like she was addressing a messiah.
Wendy spoke with a stutter like she was welling up. "I don't understand how you all know. I didn't tell anyone!"
"You told everyone Wendy Testaburger!" Bebe cried.
"ITS TRUE" One girl screamed making all of them howl and break into tears and some gave Bebe hurtful looks and shouted things at her.
"Liar!" "Fake!" "Charity!" "£3!"
"You-you blabber mouth Wendy! You couldn't keep a secret even if it was your own!" Bebe shouted and was about to lunge for Wendy when Mr. Mackay and Mr. Garrison stopped her and Mr. Mackay dragged them both out to the principal's office.
"And the rest of you can sit down, behave yourselves and put things into some God dam perspective!" Mr. Garrison shouted at the girls and they immediately took their seats including Kyle and Stan who gave each other horrified looks as they did.
"Dude, your girlfriend's a psycho." Craig whispered to Stan as Mr. Garrison attempted to continue with the lesson.