Actually, I might be able to salvage this for parts and make it into a legitimate fanfiction that isn't based on idiocy and self-indulgence.
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Not quite as polished as I'd like but whatever.
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Sam had slept in the hallway. He had been listening to everything. Vetinari had expected this.
"I couldn't just let you sleep in the same bed as my wife. What if you took advantage of her?"
Vetinari raised an eyebrow.
"All right but you could have killed her easily."
"I am not that suicidal." Vetinari shrugged.
Silence sat between them like a fat relative on Hogswatch.
"Was it true what you said to her?" asked Sam.
"Truth is relative."
Sam glared at him.
"I see that now is not the time for me to be cryptic," said Vetinari.
"You don't say?"
Havelock's shoulders sank slightly. He started walking slowly towards the kitchen.
"I told her my truth as I remember it, skewed with my own flawed perceptions and biases. I told her what I saw and felt in an old memory that I have been avoiding ever since it happened. I told her what I believe is true. I was not lying, but that does not mean that I am right. There is always the possibility that I am dead wrong. You of all people should understand that a witness' testimony is usually crap.
"If you want me to write down my day by day recollections using the most detail I can remember, I will, but neither of us is too keen on scrutinizing it. I simply wish to ask a few questions. It would be productive if we both kept the lies to a minimum."
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"The scar that you have been trying so desperately to hide this entire time, may I see it?"
Sam sighed. He hesitated before taking off his shirt. He slowly turned around and heard Havelock's breath catch behind him. A full minute passed before he said anything.
"I thought I saw your whole body burning. I thought she had killed you… but the fire must have been smaller than I remember. You have healed well. May I touch it?"
Sam nodded and braced himself. Havelock placed his hands on his back and shoulder so that the scar lay between them. He slid one hand over the unreal texture and kept the other on still so Sam knew where it was.
"It might be a delusion, but I think I can still see the pattern of the lace."
He slid his finger down Sam's scar following the pattern only he could see. It was like those optical illusion puzzles but somehow the heads of the duck and the rabbit formed an elephant half submerged in water.
"It goes down farther," said Havelock. He didn't ask anything. He just made the observation.
Sam stripped off his trousers and lay flat. For some reason he wanted Havelock to see it, all of it. He wanted to know that it was all real, that his suffering was somehow justified while another person held the memory too.
Havelock carefully memorized the scene. Recollections of the past clouded his mind.
"You can still use your legs even like that?"
"It's no different than being shot by a gonne."
"I had my wound properly treated." After all these years, the emotions Havelock had securely filed away in the archives of his memory finally escaped. "I'm sorry."
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"The lace has burned into you. You are the only proof of its existence. Your scar is beautiful. It has kept a living record of something I cherish. Will you let me love the rest of you too?"
"I thought you loved Sybil. You hate me. I took her away from you."
"It was a good thing you did. I would not have approved of anyone else. You have made it much easier for me to relax knowing she's safe."
"But you could have kept her safe yourself! She could have been yours!"
"Sybil does not belong to anyone but Sybil. I could have married her long ago, but I didn't. I chose to love the city."
"How can you—"
Sam cut himself off. Ankh-Morpork really was like a woman. She had captured his heart too.
"I sort of understand. I trust you to keep the city safe when I'm gone."
"We both love the same two women, but Sybil will always be yours alone. I can't get too close to her, but she chose you for a reason. I'm starting to see why."
Havelock lay down next to Sam and pressed his body against him. He put his arm on Sam's back and followed the scar down. Sam resisted the touch at first and tried to squirm away, but slowly he began to accept it. His body was still stiff and defensive, but Havelock didn't mind so much. Sam was letting him touch him without Sybil's supervision. Sam was giving him a different chance at redemption, one he created on his terms. This wasn't about sex. It was about trust and the balance of power. Havelock disposed of all predictions, assumptions, and expectations as he gently caressed Sam's back.
"I feel as if the Watch should be expanded," said Vetinari. He did not like small talk and was not very good at it
"Are you seriously going to talk about politics at a time like this?"
"It seemed a safe topic to me," he said as he rubbed some of the tension out of Sam's shoulders. It wasn't very easy to do lying down so he knelt beside him and focused on just the shoulder closest to him.
Vetinari massaged Sam with flat of his hands. It didn't take long for him to locate some particularly nasty knots. Of course with his knowledge of the human body, he could release the tension rather quickly, but he decided to string it out longer and give Sam some time to adjust to the movements.
"You don't have to do that," said Sam.
"True, but I have not done this in years. I need to keep up my abilities."
Sam knew it was a lie. He could have called him on it, but the gentle pressure felt so nice. He tried to forget that Vetinari was the one doing it.
"Sybil has given me massages before. They never work for long. I just tense up again afterwards and it's like she never did anything."
"I see." The more Sam talked the less Vetinari had to say to forward the conversation.
"I'm used to it though. I've had back pain all my life."
"I assume that would be a legitimate reason to be irritable even if your job was less stressful."
"I'm not angry because of a little back pain if that's what you're saying."
Vetinari spotted an opportunity to make Sam a very happy man.
"You have a good many reasons to be mad at the world," said Havelock. "Nothing can truly mitigate that sort of aggravation. I have been trying for decades and have little to show for it. Physical pain however is one of my specialties."
Sam turned sideways and grasped Vetinari's wrist aggressively. He glared at him.
"I know all too well," he said. Each word carried a different threat.
Havelock's next words could change the outcome of innumerable events for him. This could be either extremely good or seriously bad. There really wasn't much middle ground.
"Every talent can be used for multiple purposes, Samuel. I have only shown you how I can harm you with my knowledge. I want you to see that I can cause pain for beneficial and constructive reasons as well."
Vimes continued to glare at him. Vetinari decided that some clarification was in order.
"You own a blackjack, Vimes. I assume you have only used it for altruistic purposes, but the fact remains that you are quite skilled at using an object that is normally used to mug people. Your blackjack prowess is not in itself evil simply because it can be. It is also not inherently good because you have always used it that way. My knowledge of pain is very similar. I can do positive things with it. I just normally choose not to."
"So what you're saying is that I should let you hurt me and things will miraculously turn out all sunshine and daisies."
"Yes."
"Who the hell do you think I am?"
"You are a man who is in desperate need of my particular talents. You have no doubt heard the rumors about pressure points that can cause a man to collapse with a single touch? What I am proposing is almost the exact opposite with the added advantage of being real."
Vimes glared at him unconvinced.
"Look on the bright side. You are already lying down. You will not be able to collapse any more than you are now. Would you like a demonstration?"
"No, but I might not stop you from trying."
"You need to actively focus on relaxing or this will be ineffective."
"How can I relax when you're fiddling with my body doing gods know what?"
Vetinari pulled a kitchen knife out of his pocket and handed it to Sam. It was one of those paring knives that don't actually pare very well. Sam gave him a look of suspicion and confusion.
"Personally, I always feel more relaxed when I have a weapon nearby," said Havelock.
"An assassin never has only one weapon. This thing is just an illusion of security."
Vetinari shrugged and produced another knife and some sort of clockwork device that Vimes didn't recognize but nonetheless had a very clear purpose. Vetinari saw Vimes staring at him and removed his jacket and shirt.
"Nothing up my sleeve, see. Don't bother to tell me to remove my trousers because I refuse. Sybil is not here. She was quite adamant about that."
"I wasn't going to ask."
"Shall I start then?"
"If you must, but I can't guarantee that I won't stab you," said Sam trying to relax.
Vetinari smiled, picked a point on Sam's back, and pressed down. Sam immediately turned sideways and raised the knife in a moderately intimidating way, which by Ankh-Morpork standards meant that the blade wasn't touching the skin quite yet.
"I think I will pick a different area then," said Havelock.
Sam lay down again reluctantly. Vetinari had wanted a sort of middle sized pain to start with so the soothing effects would be more noticeable, but apparently he had overshot. He moved his fingers to an area that was less sensitive and pushed. He kept the pressure on, but still moved out of the way just in case Sam decided to take a swing at him. It didn't come.
"Does that hurt?"
"It's not unbearable."
"For you, Sam, broken bones are bearable."
"It doesn't matter because it doesn't hurt anymore."
"Then we are making progress."
Vetinari chose a point nearby and pressed down. Sam hissed and gripped the knife tightly but didn't say anything. Havelock waited about ten seconds before releasing the pressure. He switched to a different point.
"What the hell is all this supposed to do?" shouted Sam as he twisted around with the blade. He suddenly stopped and put down the knife with a look of shear disbelief on his face. "Oh… that." He stared bewildered at Havelock. "You didn't break anything did you?"
"No."
"Did you use some kind of medicine?"
"I don't have any sleeves remember?"
"Then how can… Can you teach my wife to do that?"
Vetinari made a noncommittal hand gesture.
"I get it. You want me to have to come to you each time my side hurts? That's not worth it."
"I told you pain is my specialty. What makes you think I can only soothe that one area?"
Sam's eyes widened and he looked away. He stayed silent for a moment before turning back again with his usual cynical expression.
"You have upper back pain do you not?" said Havelock.
"Why do you think that?"
"You slouch a lot. I can't remove it entirely but I can help."
"Do it then, if you're so keen on it." Sam replied cautiously.
Havelock internally celebrated a moment of triumph. "I must be sitting on you for this." It was a lie of course. Vetinari could activate trigger points from the side too. It was just easier and more productive to do it from on top of him.
Sam glared at him threateningly. "Keep your trousers on."
Havelock took that as a yes and carefully straddled Sam. He moved slowly but purposefully into position. He ran his hands over his back.
"Your muscles are in horrible condition. I am surprised you can even stand up."
"Thank you for the vote of confidence."
"I have to warn you that this is going to hurt."
"Anything involving you hurts."
Havelock pushed and Sam grunted.
"Do try to relax. It makes the process quicker."
"How can I relax when you've got your bloody fingers ripping into my back?"
"Mind over matter is one of your many talents. Just tell me if I'm pressing too hard or not in the right place."
"You want me to tell you where it hurts so you can hurt it more?"
"Yes." At this point Havelock located a particularly nasty area that made Sam swallow a scream. "Hmm, perhaps I should let up a bit. It has been a while since I last did this. If you are feeling this uncomfortable, I must be doing something wrong." Havelock rubbed the area around where he was working.
"That's amazing," muttered Sam. "It's like magic only more practical."
Havelock looked puzzled. He hadn't even gotten rid of those knots. He only made them smaller, but Sam was already praising him. These weren't even major trigger points.
"You have a lot more pain than I anticipated."
"Oh…" Samuel said despondently.
"I only mean that I will not be able to finish in one session. I think I should focus on the most important points for now, the places that create the most pronounced effects. Unfortunately, this will hurt much more."
"I'm no stranger to pain, Vetinari."
"Tell me then. Does this hurt?"
"Bloody Hellfire!" shouted Sam "I knew you lied about the weapons!"
Sam tried to squirm away, but the movement only shifted Havelock's fingers to a more sensitive spot.
"Let go damn it! I still have your… knife…?" Sam trailed off. He moaned as Havelock slowly released the pressure and gently rubbed the area. "That's amazing… you… oh gods…"
Havelock grinned. Even if he couldn't satisfy Sam sexually, this would be enough to fulfill his need for reconciliation. Listening to Sam groan in pleasure under his fingertips energized him. He had gained a marginally more acceptable method of controlling Sam's body without causing him to relive his trauma. With this skill, he could someday regain Sam's trust and approval. Maybe then Havelock could forgive himself.
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Sam had been trying to overlook the hard bulge pressing against his butt as Havelock massaged him, but as the tension ebbed away it became increasingly difficult to ignore. Sam's own urges didn't help matters. His cock pressed painfully against the bed. He was normally good at holding back desires but the temptation was overpowering. He had a solid reason for not killing people, but this was different. All his restraints melted away until there were only two left: Vetinari's abuse and Sybil's love.
"I can't go on, not without my wife," Sam gasped through labored breaths.
"You don't need her to make your decisions for you," said Vetinari.
Sam momentarily humored the idea, but his heart wouldn't let him. Sybil could not be replaced.
"I want her here. I decide, because I made a promise."
"Promises are flexible."
"It was not just a promise. The moment I married her, I created a Law. Samuel Vimes does not break the Law."
"Will you come back?"
"I might be wrong," said Sam. He left the door open when he left.
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Sam had not stopped to cover himself and now he felt horribly self-conscious about his boner as he slowly opened the door. When he peeked out from behind it, he saw Sybil playing with herself on the bed. He hadn't quite solidified his laws about sex with his wife and it took a significant amount of willpower to hold back.
"Um… Sybil?" Sam whispered.
Sybil reflexively clapped her legs together but relaxed when she saw Sam's face looking at her from behind the door.
"How long have you been watching me?" she asked as she sauntered up to him. Then she saw the rest of Sam's body. "Long enough so I see."
Sam smiled sheepishly. "I wanted to… try again… with Havelock, but I can't do it without you."
"Why the change of heart?"
"He said he would teach you to… do something special."
"Does it involve killing people?"
"No."
"Then it's practically harmless by Havelock's standards."
Sam smiled. He took her hand and led her into the other bedroom. Havelock had prepared himself and was now lying on the bed perfectly motionless like a frozen cut of meat. Sam crawled up next to him and placed a hand on his chest.
"Give me a moment. I need to be ready first."
Havelock soundlessly handed him a jar and went back to staring fixedly at the ceiling. This was not easy on him either.
"Please, Sybil?" Sam asked giving her the jar. "I don't want to lose sight of you."
Sam lay on his back. He spread his legs apart and held his knees to his chest. Sybil had never seen her husband in such a drastically submissive position. That coupled with Sam's meek expression turned her on so much. As she played with him she imagined how amazing Havelock was going to feel. For a moment she wished she had a dick just so she could fuck Sam's ass. The dirty thoughts spurred her on as she stretched his asshole. She wanted to hear the sounds of the two men and be a part of that.
Sam's position has an effect on Havelock as well. He desperately wanted to pound that ass but at the same time dreaded the moment. He was afraid of moving inside Sam. He knew he hurt him last time. Havelock couldn't take the risk that he would pick up right where he left off. He promised himself he would stay completely still throughout the whole thing.
Sam touched Havelock's thigh. "I'm as close to ready as I can be. Will you let me try again?"
"I could say the exact same thing," said Havelock.
"I need your help, Sybil," said Sam. "Against all rationality, I want to believe that you are the one doing it. Will you sit in front of me and guide me as if it were you?"
Sybil nodded and straddled Havelock's chest backwards giving him a lovely view of her soft ass. He was tempted to grab it but the promise held him back. He could feel her wet pussy on his stomach so irritatingly close to his dick. Sybil guided Sam into position. He slowly lowered himself until his asshole touched the tip. He whimpered fearfully. He held on to Sybil and shut his eyes.
"Help me," he whispered.
Sybil pushed him away just enough for her to see his face.
"Keep your eyes open, Sam. This is me. Pretend that I am doing this."
Sam hesitantly lowered himself and engulfed the tip. Sybil heard Havelock stifle a gasp behind her. She imagined how it must feel for him. It made her wet just thinking about it. She wanted to hear more.
"Sam, you feel so good. Don't stop," said Sybil. She kissed him then pushed away so she could see where they were connected better. She watched Sam take in a little bit more. She moaned with voyeuristic pleasure. "I want you so much." She gasped when Sam let himself fall an inch. "Keep going. I want to be inside you."
"You're really getting into this aren't you?"
"Dirty talk turns me on. I can get very creative with role-play."
Sam smiled and tucked that information away for further exploration.
Sybil kissed him lovingly. "Keep going. I want to see what happens next." Sam let himself down as much as he dared. Sybil's breaths shuddered just watching it. "You're so hot inside." She kissed him and left her lips just an inch away. "It's not enough. I want more." Sam could feel her breathing quicken when he sank. "Don't be so mean. I can't stand it anymore," said Sybil. She kneeled higher than Sam and kissed him. The pressure of her tongue and lips dropped him to the root all at once.
Havelock moaned and clutched Sybil's hips. He gasped as Sam reflexively tightened around him.
"Tell me how it feels, Havelock. What does my husband feel like inside?"
"I would- rather not," he said through heavy breaths.
"Do what she says. I need to know," said Sam. He stared into Sybil's eyes and tried to calm down.
"You feel incredible, Sam," said Havelock through rapid breaths. "Your ass is nothing like Sybil's. Hers embraced me drew me back in with each thrust. Yours is choking me and tying me down."
"Loosen up, Sam," whispered Sybil warmly. "You have all the power here. You can move however you want. You can be merciless and make him beg or maybe you want to make him come before you. You can make all the decisions."
"I just want to do it right," said Sam. If you're with me, I can figure it out as I go."
Sam kissed his wife and held onto her hips. He pushed himself up. Havelock shuddered underneath them. He moaned loudly when Sam lowered himself.
"Do that again," begged Havelock. He gripped the bedclothes firmly.
Sam pushed up then lowered himself onto Havelock's cock squeezing it tightly. Havelock's sounds of pleasure emboldened him. He moved his hips up and down with more ease. Sybil's boobs rubbed against him each time. She held Sam's cock in her hands and kept them stationary so Sam would have to work for it. When Sam moved up, Sybil's hands would wrap around him and when he fell back down Havelock's cock would burrow inside him
"Do you think you could do that with your pussy?" asked Sam.
"You'll have to lean back a bit for that. Can you bend your knees for him Havelock?"
Sam leaned back on Havelock's legs and let Sybil straddle him. She didn't sit down all the way. She smiled at him wickedly.
"I'm not going to let you be passive about any of this. I also don't want to put too much weight on Havelock."
"How kind of you."
"Go, Sam. Pump us both," said Sybil. She leaned over and sucked on Sam's lower lip. He laced his fingers in her hair and pulled her into a passionate kiss.
Sam started moving his hips. He drove his cock into Sybil's pussy and when he pulled outwards his ass would swallow Havelock's dick. The dual sensations were overwhelming. Sybil's boobs jiggled and bounced in front of him. He sucked greedily at her soft tits as he rammed his huge cock in and out of her. A shock of intense pleasure filled him each time Havelock's hard dick rolled over his prostate.
Havelock had a perfect view of everything. He grabbed onto Sybil's soft ass and spread her cheeks apart. He sure as hell wasn't going to lick her there. Instead, he pressed one of his thumbs inside. He moved around inside her as he squeezed her ass. Sybil moaned loudly. With Sam in front and Havelock in back, Sybil felt like she was on fire.
Sam moved a little to position himself at the optimum angle of penetration. He could thrust up far enough to pound Sybil's womb. When he fell, Havelock's throbbing cock stabbed him deep inside. His ass wrapped around the full length. Sam swung his hips violently. He drove his cock into Sybil's pussy then swallowed Havelock's long dick whole. He forced himself up and down with all his strength.
Suddenly, Sybil accidentally fell onto Sam's cock which made him sit on Havelock with all his weight. His dick reached deeper than ever but the extra pounds were too much. He shoved his hips up into Sam's ass in retaliation. Sybil leaned back and supported herself as Sam continued to ram into her. Havelock couldn't wait anymore. The change in position allowed him movement. He jammed his hard cock into Sam's ass as he was pounding Sybil's pussy. With the restraining weight removed, Havelock could now pump Sam's tight ass freely. He thrust his powerful cock in and out of him relentlessly. Each time Havelock pulled back, Sam would cling to his hot dick and suck him back inside. He plunged into Sam's narrow ass over and over.
Sam's cock grew inside Sybil. The loss of control had turned him on and her lewd face was too hard to resist. He rapidly rocked his hips forcing his dick into her wet pussy again and again. She spread her legs as wide as she could and let him roughly grind her inside. She smothered his cock adding more pressure and making Sam moan in ecstasy. He increased his speed and fucked her with no restraint.
Havelock mathematically adjusted his rhythm to reach the peak of pleasure for each thrust. When Sam pulled out of Sybil, Havelock slammed his raging dick into his ass and penetrated deep inside. The power of Havelock's pounding gave Sam extra momentum. All of that force rammed straight into Sybil's slick pussy over and over. She was getting fucked twice as hard and just as fast. She could barely hold herself up. Sam gripped her ass and pulled it forward each time he drove his thick cock into her. Havelock forcefully hammered Sam's tight ass and squeezed Sybil's tits from behind. She gasped and clamped down on Sam as he dove in and out of her. Sam increased his pace and clung to Havelock's throbbing dick. The hot tightness of Sam's ass was suddenly too much to handle.
"You feel so good! I can't hold back anymore!"
Without warning, Sam clutched Havelock's ass right when his cock was deep inside him. Havelock tipped over into electric euphoria. His twitching dick and cries of pleasure made Sam climax too. He came hard into Sybil's pussy. His cum filled her up inside and she joined them in paradise. Sam pumped a little longer extending the climax for all of them.
Sybil dropped panting onto Havelock's chest. He reached his arms around her and squeezed her tits. Sam's head sparkled with bliss. He dropped to the side and grabbed Sybil. He rolled her off Havelock and into his arms. Undeterred, Havelock spooned Sybil and seamlessly continued to fondle her huge breasts.
"This is how it should have been," whispered Sybil.
"Wait no its not!" said Sam suddenly panicked. "I came inside you. You could be… be…"
"Probably not, Sam."
"How do you know?"
"Do you really want to hear the details?"
"No…"
"Go to sleep, Sam."
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next
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"I promised Sam I would show you something useful. He seemed very content even though I was the one doing it. I assume that if you tried then the results would be much better."
Vetinari and Sybil found Sam in the backyard porch smoking a cigar.
"I thought you'd be gone by now," he said snuffing out the cigar.
"I made a decision to stay and honor your request."
"And that would be?"
"He wants to teach me something," said Sybil. She was holding some pillows.
Vetinari grinned mischievously and held up a bottle of oil. Sam knew that smile. It meant that something bad was going to happen and he could do nothing about it. Vetinari led them to a sitting room where he had set up a long thin ottoman perpendicular to the couch.
"You will lie down, Sam. Your head should rest between them so you can breathe without turning your head. The ottoman should be just thin enough for you to comfortably dangle your arms to either side. I noticed how hard it was for you to relax before. Perhaps this will make it easier."
Sam did as he was told. He silently berated himself for actually looking forward to Vetinari touching him. Sybil positioned the pillows to make Sam more comfortable. She sat down on the couch and watched Havelock straddle her husband.
"All right, what is this about then?"
Havelock didn't answer. He ran his hands up Sam's back. He sat up, theatrically raised a finger, and brought it down firmly on a seemingly random point.
"Bloody hell, did you have to start like that?"
Havelock didn't remove his finger. Within a few seconds, Sam relaxed again and the pain lessened.
"What did that accomplish?" asked Sybil.
"More than you would think," said Sam. "It will start fe—Agh! Stop picking all the worst ones!"
Vetinari grinned with an evil glint in his eye. He brought his finger down but Sybil stopped him halfway.
"You will do what Sam says."
Vetinari shrugged a shoulder and pushed on a different part of Sam's back eliciting a quiet moan.
"That feels nice."
"What did you do to him?
"Trigger points. They hurt like hell but have a big impact on releasing tension and relieving pain."
Sam winced as Havelock pushed on his back again. Sybil looked at him incredulously but went along with it.
"So, you're going to teach me how to torture my husband?"
"It feels good, seriously. Try it." Sam lifted his head to look at her. His face was absolutely glowing with anticipation. The small movement of his muscles made one part of his shoulders tense up again and the other part loosen. It caused quite an interesting expression.
"If you want me to, then I'll give it a try.
Havelock scooted down to Sam's legs and let Sybil take up the position he had just left. A series of pops made Sam groan in pleasure when she sat down. She giggled at the reaction.
Havelock reached his arms around Sybil and rested his chin on her shoulder. He took up her hands and guided them to another trigger point. She pressed down and Sam made a short low sound.
"It's all about communication," said Havelock. "Anyone can do this if they're patient enough. You should let go now." He lightly led Sybil's hands to different areas. "Most points will be here and here. All you have to do is find one. I know exactly where they all are and what they feel like but it's not necessary to be right all the time. Things that hurt usually make themselves known."
He trailed Sybil's fingers over Sam's shoulders until he winced. Havelock let go of Sybil's hands and let her try alone. She pushed down but nothing happened.
"It's a bit to the right," said Havelock.
Sam grunted in pain. After a few seconds Havelock removed Sybil's hand.
"You shouldn't let him suffer for more than ten seconds or so. Even when Sam says he can bear the pain, you should still let go," said Havelock.
Sam snorted derisively.
Havelock wrapped his arms around Sybil's waist and leaned into her. "You should try it by yourself. It's a lovely puzzle." He kissed her neck.
Sybil pressed her fingers around in the areas Havelock had mentioned.
"Right there."
"Here?"
"No it was higher."
"Here?"
"Yeah, um, kind of."
"What if I go further up?"
"No, it doesn't hurt there. Try left."
Sybil moved her fingers a pushed again.
"Yes, right there. I can definitely feel that," Sam said in a much higher pitched voice than usual. After a few seconds, he relaxed and sighed.
Sybil smiled and tried a different area. As she worked, Havelock licked her ear. He gently ran his hands up and down her soft sides making her stifle a laugh. Sam moaned beneath her searching hands. She massaged other parts of his back too while her finger was pressing down. Sam found it easier to relax with the dual sensations.
Havelock moved his hands down between Sybil's legs and out onto Sam's lower back. His fingers hovered above two trigger points. When Sybil pressed down, Havelock pushed too. Sam screamed as three points were activated at once. Sybil let go immediately but Havelock did not. She was going to pull his hands away when he heard Sam's voice change. He was panting and the pained look on his face was dripping away. Havelock removed the pressure and Sam moaned. His breathing was still short but he seemed very content.
"You didn't have to do that!" shouted Sybil.
"But your husband sounds so nice when he screams," Havelock said playfully.
The dark humor in his voice faded quickly. This wasn't something that he could brush away with sarcasm. He had to tell them. Havelock wrapped his arms tightly around Sybil.
"That scream was the only thing I actually enjoyed about that whole ordeal, but that woman was doing it all wrong. I hated that blubbering cry she seemed so fond of, that raspy shout that only comes from a mouth that has long since lost the will to fight back. It was a vile sound of someone who has stopped trying to hold back the tears. It was like drowning in the pain of another person only to find out it's your own."
Havelock took a shuddering breath.
"I hate that kind of scream. I hate that."
He pushed one of his hands onto Sam's back and spread his fingers out over the scar. He held his palm there firmly as if he wanted to be sure it was really there.
"I couldn't do anything. I was a coward. I couldn't stop her. I did what I could. I made her share you. I took time away from her. I made you a game. You became a toy that I knew she would break if left alone. That scream, the first scream of each day, was the best. It was the one I loved the most and every scream after that was an unnecessary echo. I wanted to hear that single cry and marvel at its simplicity. It was beautiful and clear. I couldn't let her break that. I couldn't stand by and watch her ruin a man like you. I didn't help you because I felt sorry for you. I didn't feel guilty or appalled. I saved you because I liked the way you screamed. I stopped her from hurting you because you sounded better after a reprieve. I distracted her because I wanted you to live. I wanted to hear that single note every day but she would always bring out those awful distortions. It didn't feel right. I hate that noise. I hate her. I hate her so much. I thought she had killed you. She burned my nightingale. She set fire to the lace. She burned my memory. I hate her."
"I hate her."
"I need you to hurt me. I need balance. Why won't you fight back like you did before? There was so much defiance in your voice. You wanted to kill me. Why have you not done anything?"
I need you to acknowledge that this really happened, that I was really there, and this nightmare that haunts me isn't just make believe. I want this guilt to go away.
"Sybil, are you all right?"
"I'm fine."
"Can you move freely?"
"I can now."
"You should get off. I want to get up."
Sybil dismounted and Havelock followed her so Sam could stand. He looked directly into Havelock's eyes.
"I don't give a damn what you want. You say you need balance? That's fine. I can hurt you, but I'm doing it on my terms. I have a trump card that I haven't used yet, one I never thought I would need to use like this."
Sam took Sybil's hand and smiled apologetically at her. "I feel like I'm cheapening you, but I want him to watch. I don't care if he gets it or not. This is about you not him."
Sybil kissed Sam gently and passed her hand over the scar on his neck. He didn't flinch or pull away. He let her touch him the way she wanted.
Havelock watched them lay down on the bed facing each other. It wasn't really anything new. He saw them twine their legs together but that was it. They weren't kissing or petting. There was nothing sexual about it. Havelock watched but didn't comprehend. He stood with the silence of an assassin. He blended into the background and continued to watch, but there wasn't anything to watch. Sam was simply tracing his fingers over the palm of Sybil's hands.
How was this supposed to hurt him? They weren't even paying any attention to him. Did they forget he was there? No one could be that daft. Havelock watched patiently wondering what would happen and what they would do to him.
He saw something or perhaps it was nothing. It made no movement or sound but he could feel it. Deep in his chest, he felt a shimmer of pain. Sam weaved his fingers with Sybil's. She closed her eyes slowly and moved her head forward. Her lips touched Sam's. It was a soft and delicate kiss meant only for him.
Pure agony pooled in the bottom of Havelock's heart. It felt like acid, burning holes in the flesh and dripping rivulets onto his stomach.
The tender look Sam gave her shattered Havelock's chest into one thousand shards of sharp pain and suddenly he couldn't stand it anymore. He backed away towards the door. He was silent like an assassin should be but something deep inside protested. He made a misstep and made a noise.
"You will remain here," said Sam flatly. He didn't even bother to look over his shoulder at Havelock. "I am not finished yet."
"Come here," said Sybil kindly.
Havelock's feet retreated. Her gentle words stabbed him.
"Come." Sam's voice had a hard edge to it.
Havelock was torn between guilt, longing, fear, and shame. He had asked for this. He had told Sam to hurt him. Even as he reached the bed, Havelock's head was writhing with the urge to run.
"Lie between us," said Sybil. It was quite possibly the most terrifying thing anyone had ever said to him. Like a moth to the flame, Havelock was drawn in.
He could feel it all around him. It hurt more than anything, because he knew he could never stay there. He knew he did not belong between them and this was a feeling he would long for every day yet not be allowed to have. He braced himself, but instead of holding on to Sybil for comfort, he held onto Sam. His feigned love was easier for Havelock to face. He knew Sam hated him and he clung to that, but Sam would not let him. He looked beyond Havelock to his wife. Sybil could unabashedly love anyone. She made it look so easy. Sam followed her. He touched Havelock's hand gently because that was what Sybil was doing. Sam wasn't loving Havelock or even paying attention to him. He was loving his wife through him.
Havelock felt used and shameful. By denying his existence, Sam forced Havelock to look at Sybil for solace. He searched for something to grasp. He needed something in her that could prove her love was false. He needed something to keep him sane, to keep him from being swept away forever. He would never be able to return to a reality without them. If he let himself drown in their love then he would lose his strength to fight alone. He would become weak.
The pain dragged him under again like a rip tide. Sybil's soft eyes attacked his resolve. His mind scrambled to find something to hold on to, but those eyes were overpowering. They promised a world of joy and excitement, one where every problem could be solved through friendship. Those eyes opened to a fantasy where he did not belong. It was an illusion, a farce. Love like that did not exist. It couldn't. The pain was too much.
Havelock drowned.
He cried.
Content with the results, Sam closed his eyes and let Havelock cling to them both. The punishment was in perfect balance with the crime.
.
,
.
-If it isn't broken, don't fix it. If something doesn't work, it gets broken really quickly.-
.
.
.
"You're leaving aren't you," said Sybil the next day, "and when you walk out that door none of this will have happened."
"No. when I walk out that door, I will remember every second of my time here and I will do nothing about it. That is part of your husband's punishment for me. I will not be able to forget. It is a fitting punishment that I fully accept. I will continue ruling now knowing what it is that I have given up for the sake of my city. Even after what you two have shown me, I still believe I have made the right decision. My love for Ankh-Morpork overrides the beautiful fantasy in your eyes. Samuel knows what I mean."
Havelock hesitated before opening the door. His heart ached.
"Sybil, will you let me kiss you?"
"You have already."
"I mean, I want you to kiss me like you do for Sam."
"No, I won't do that for you. My kiss for Sam is only for him. Even if he asks me to share it I won't."
Havelock paused momentarily before answering. "I understand."
"But, I can give you a cheap forgery of a Sam kiss, one that looks similar but is worthless and substandard."
"Then no, that's not good enough but perhaps a different kind of kiss."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Sybil, will you kiss me as if I were your child?"
Sybil's eyes seemed to change. It wasn't a big change but it made all the difference. She wrapped her arms around him. In those arms, Havelock felt weak and vulnerable but protected as well. She pressed her cheek softly against his.
"Don't worry," she whispered, "I'll be here."
She looked at Havelock warmly and gave him a reassuring smile. She kissed him on the cheek just below his eye. It was lovely, not at all like any other kiss he had ever received. He hugged her back.
"Thank you, Sybil."