The Consequences of Hide-and-Seek
(Zidane: age 3; Kuja: age 5)
Castle Pandemonium wasn't exactly an ideal place for children. It was dark, dreary, and for some downright scary. But then again, there was a plus side as well.
"Let's play hide-and-seek," said Kuja.
"Huh?" asked Zidane. "What's that?"
"What is hide-and-seek? Are you serious?"
"What's serious mean?"
Kuja palmed himself in the face. "Never mind that. Hide-and-seek is a game…"
"Game? YAY! I like games."
"It goes like this. One person is the hider, and the other person is the seeker. The seeker closes his eyes and starts counting. While he's doing that, the hider has to go find a hiding spot before the seeker gets done counting. When the seeker gets done counting, he looks for the hider. The game is done when he finds the hider, unless the hider hides really good. Get it?"
"I think so."
Kuja thought for a moment. "Wait, do you know how to count?"
"One, two, three… eight… uh…"
"Never mind, you can just be the hider. So… I'll close my eyes, and you hide. Ready? Go!" Kuja covered his eyes. "One, two, three…" He went all the way to thirty, a fact he was very proud of. He uncovered his eyes to find Zidane still standing there. "Zidane! You're supposed to go hide!"
"Oh…"
Kuja sighed. Let's try this again…
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Zidane watched Kuja count again, then remember that he was supposed to go hide. There were all kinds of hiding places, but he was afraid of getting lost. But he had to go hide, because that's how the game worked, wasn't it?
I'm hungry he thought suddenly, and brightened up. The pantry would be an excellent hiding spot.
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"Twenty-nine, thirty!" Kuja uncovered his eyes. Zidane was gone this time. Now, where could he have gone?
If I were Zidane, where would I go? he thought. It only took thirty seconds to answer that question. He sighed. Zidane was dreadfully easy to figure out.
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Everybody has their own weird quirks. Zidane's quirk was a liking for lima beans. He wouldn't eat them if they were cooked. Kuja called him a weirdo for eating raw beans, but that didn't faze Zidane much. Name-calling was just what Kuja did.
Zidane reached into a barrel with a whole fistful of the beans and put them in his pocket. He did it until his pocket was bulging—it was a big pocket, especially for someone as small as him. Then he filled the other pocket. Then he popped three into his mouth.
And that was when Kuja opened the door. "I knew it!" he said. "I knew you'd be here."
"Do I get to be the seeker now?" Zidane asked.
"No, because you can't count."
"Yes I can! One, two, three, eight… uh…"
"No, you can't. Eight doesn't come after three. You go hide again—and pick a better hiding place this time." Kuja covered his eyes and began counting.
Now where was Zidane supposed to go? He took a right… wait a minute, which one was right and which one was left? He forgot again. Now he was lost.
Wait, that door looked familiar… he went up to it. No, it wasn't the same door. This door was bigger than the one that led to his bedroom. There was a snort. Zidane jumped—was that the door? No, it was something behind the door. Curious, he turned the handle and entered. If nothing else, he could hide here.
The door led into an enormous room, so big that he couldn't see the ceiling. He looked all about, and discovered what had made the noise. Dragons. Kuja had said they lived in Pandemonium somewhere.
One of them flew up to Zidane, sniffing him out. Did dragons eat Genomes? He couldn't remember. An idea came to him. Maybe dragons liked lima beans?
He pulled a bean out of his pocket and tossed it. The dragon snapped it up, doing a somersault in the air as it did. Zidane giggled. They did like lima beans. The other dragons noticed the commotion, and before long Zidane was feeding them all. They obviously liked them a lot—they kept doing tricks and kept coming back for more.
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The fun lasted for nearly two hours. "Sorry," said Zidane, "I don't got no more." He decided he would go find a place to hide now. "Bye-bye," he told the dragons.
After wandering some more, Zidane found the door to his bedroom. That would be an excellent hiding spot.
An hour later, Kuja found Zidane asleep on his own bed, which confused him, because he had searched there three times already. Where has he been all this time?
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Garland, Overseer of Terra, could hear a commotion on the third floor. He frowned; it sounded like it came from the dragon enclosure. What was happening? Were they fighting again? It wasn't usually like them to fight one another. He had better check it out.
When he got to the door, he hesitated. The noises issuing from within didn't sound like clawing or biting. It sounded like… trumpeting? Throwing caution to the wind, he opened the door.
He bit back the urge to vomit. What was that vile smell? The question was answered as one of the dragons passed more wind than Fenrir's Millennial Decay. Urgh! Why were they all farting?
He took a step and heard a slight crunch. He picked up his foot to reveal… a lima bean?
"ZIDANE!"