Stupid Mario Bros Episode 48: The Case of the Stolen Junk.

"And then Roy was like, 'You'll never defeat my brawn." And I was like, 'Oh, yeah?", and then I farted in his face."

Waluigi laughed as Wario recalled Super Smash Brothers Melee .

"Good times. Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?"

Wario shrugged.

"I don't know. He got replaced by someone called Ike or something."

"So, want to play some games?" asked Waluigi.

"Yeah, just let me get my trust D...S?" said Wario, expression becoming puzzled as he failed to find his DS in his overalls. He went over to a draw and started looking through that.

"No...No... Random crap!"

"My DS is gone too." Waluigi realised.

"My Nintendo Wii's gone!" Wario cried from under the table.

"What the heck is going on?" asked Waluigi.

"I don't know, but I smell some very stupid Mario brothers involved.

-xxxx-

"What? Someone stole your bananas?" Brock cried.

"(Yeah. My lovely bananas!)" Replied DK.

"That sucks. Someone stole my Pokéball, but I think I know who." Brock stated.

"What are you losers talking about, huh?" demanded Gary.

"Hey, Gary, did you steal my Pokéball?" Brock asked.

"No. In fact, I think you stole my Pokéball!" Gary replied.

"Your Pokéball's missing too?"

"Yeah, it was missing from my stuff today."

"DK's bananas are gone too." Brock added.

"That's weird. What would anyone want with bananas and Pokéballs?"

"Hey, guys, I can't find my baseball bat and yo-yo." Ness said, walking up to them.

"HA! The plot thickens!" Brock said.

"You're missing stuff too!"

"It's a mystery."

"If only my psychic powers were working, then I could see who's behind all this." Ness muttered.

"Oh, come on! This one is easy. Who do we know is an expert in espionage and sneaking around?"

"SNAKE!" the four of them said in unison.

"What?" he said, walking up to the group.

"Snake, did you steal our Pokéballs, bats, bananas and yo-yos?" asked Brock.

"Say that ten times fast." Ness said under his breath to DK.

"You're accusing me? I have no reason to steal your crap."

"You have no idea who's behind all this?" Ness asked.

"No. Though I recently had something stolen from me."

"What is it?" Brock asked.

"My chocolates that contain the cure to FOXDIE."

"Who stole them?" Ness questioned.

"Mario!"

"WHAT? Impossible." Brock cried in disbelief.

"Mario stole it?" Ness inquired.

"Yeah. He fed them to some chick and she died."

"(PAULINE)" DK wailed in distress.

"Let's not panic. Mario must have taken these things for a good reason. Just wait. He'll return them." Ness assured.

-xxxx-

"Here you go Mr Vercetti." Mario said, handing Vercetti a bucket containing Pokéballs, a baseball bat, some bananas and a yo-yo. Both him and Luigi were now wearing sunglasses and trench coats.

"Oh, thanks for delivery guys. We've got to put this on the black market tomorrow."

"No problem." Mario replied.

"Yeah, we never liked those guys anyway." Luigi lied.

"We also brought a bag of apples, Mr Vercetti. Would you like those as well?" Mario asked him.

"Okay, let me tell you something. This stuff, this stuff right here, this is good stuff. Apples? No, no, we don't like apples." Vercetti explained.

"Oh...well, Yoshi will be pleased." Mario said.

In Mario's house...

Yoshi held the bucket of apples in his hands. Well, the empty bucket of apples.

"YOSHI!"

Back to Mario...

"What do you need us to do now?"

"I need you to pick up a car for me. It's a couple blocks away and it's a Greystation Wagon."

"I see...and is this car yours?"

Vercetti gave them a creepy grin.

"Let's just say I'm...repossessing it. You're okay with that, right?"

"Well..." Mario started to say.

"I'll give you another $2000." Vercetti interrupted.

"Deal!"

-xxxx-

Back in Mario's house, Wario was singing to himself.

"Stay! Just a little bit. One more time. I'LL WATCH YA STAYYYY!"

"What are you doing?" Waluigi demanded, sitting up on the bed a little bit.

"I'm...I'm just trying to keep myself from becoming bored, now that out DS's are gone." Wario explained, taking off his sunglasses.

"Well, if you're going to be doing musical theatre, at least try to do it properly. It should sound more like this." Waluigi replied, pushing Wario out of the way. Then he started singing.

"Tell him how I'm defying gravity. Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity. And you can't bring me...dowwwwn!"

"Pssh! Whatever. Look at this!" he said, starting to sing.

"If God had granted me a son. The summers die one by one. How soon they fly on in dawn. I am old, and will be gone...bitch." he added at the end.

"There are giants in the sky!" Waluigi began, "there are great tall terrible giants in the sky."

"Tonight, tonight, I hope again tonight..."

"Anything you can do, I can do better..."

"Tonight, I'm alive, so alive, I can..."

"Love me a lady toniiight, love me a lady toniiight...

"There's a bright golden haze on the meadow..."

"I will rise! I will dance with pride... on the wheels of a dream!" Waluigi sang, finishing his little dance.

Wario scowled.

"Dammit, Waluigi, why do you always have to prove you're better than me?!" Wario cried.

"Keeps me from getting bored." Waluigi replied smugly.

"Meh..." Wario started muttering to himself angrily.

-xxxx-

Mario and Luigi looked around warily as they closed in on the car. Luigi opened the car door, and sat inside it. Luigi sighed. This was a bad idea from the beginning and he face his brother.

"Mario, are you sure about this? How long can we keep doing the mobs dirty work?"

Mario rolled his eyes.

"After this, Luigi, we'll have $8000. Then we only need another $2000 to pay off Snake."

"No you need another $2000 to pay off Snake. Besides, what about the other stuff we stole? We'll have to pay those back as well." Luigi pointed out. He felt guilty about stealing from his friends, and he regretted going along with this idea.

"Oh...well I hadn't thought of that." Mario realised.

"Mario, listen to me. We need to get ourselves out of this fast!"

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just have a feeling. They could have us do something bad."

Mario scoffed.

"What? That's ridiculous. Luigi, they're not going to have us do anything we won't want to do."

Later that day...

"How do you guys feel about murder?"

The question was so blunt, Luigi was struck speechless.

Murder?!

"Ummmm..." Mario said.

"I know a couple of brass ball guys such as yourselves would be up for it."

"Well, gee, Tommy, when we said-

"Okay, here's a baseball bat. The target; Solid Snake!"

Luigi gasped and shared a horrified look with Mario.

"He's been messing up my operation for years now."

"Solid Snake?" Mario cried in disbelief.

"He's been a thorn in my side forever. I'll give you his whereabouts." Vercetti said.

"That won't be necessary, Mr Vercetti. We know where he is." Mario replied.

Luigi decided it wouldn't be a good idea to reveal their friendship with Snake if Vercetti was that pissed off about him.

"Good. And I expect you guys to have this done by the end of the day."

Mario and Luigi walked a few metres away. Then Luigi turned to Mario.

"Mario, how are we supposed to pay of Snake if he's dead?" Luigi demanded.

"Don't worry. We're not going to kill Snake." Mario assured. Luigi breathed a sigh of relief, and then he frowned.

"Then what do we do?"

"I've heard about a guy." Mario started to explain, as he and Luigi walked away.

A few minutes later...

Mario and Luigi, in their normal clothes, walked into an office. There was a black-haired guy with two guns sitting there.

"Excuse me, are you, Mr Max Payne?" Mario asked.

"Two strange men walk into my office. One red, one green." Max Payne said, speaking out loud in monologue.

"Excuse me?" Luigi questioned.

"They look confused, probably stupid. Something about them made me want to help them." Payne continued.

"Um...will you help us?" Mario asked warily, slightly creeped out by Mr Payne.

"'Sure', I said. I was intrigued to find out what this was all about." Payne replied.

"We know the whereabouts of Tommy Vercetti's mob."

Instantly Max Payne got out his guns.

"At last, Vercetti. The man I anxiously wanted to take down. His whereabouts finally within my grasp." Payne said.

"He's gonna have at least five guards at his place. Can you handle that?" asked Luigi.

"They question my skills, to which I laugh and say it'll be easy; 'Ha ha ha! It'll be easy!'" Payne replied.

"This guy is weird." Luigi muttered under his breath.

"No kidding." Mario replied quietly, before turning back to Payne.

"It's just 15 minutes down the road. Are you ready to go?" Mario asked.

"I want to reply that I was born ready, but that would be too clichéd. So I simply answer 'Yeah I'm ready.'" Payne replied.

"Good. Let's a go!" Mario added.

"Quietly, we march to the home of my nemesis. Today will be a glorious day." Payne said, raising his pistols.

End of Chapter

I think I did a good job separating Wario and Waluigi's singing contest. I might not have gotten all the lyrics right though. Next chapter will see Max Payne deal with Tommy Vercetti in Episode 49; A Huge Payne.