Ch. 3 –Kleptomaniac
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I've been a occupied with my AP Bio and English Summer Homework (It's a HORRIBLE idea to procrastinate! I spent 2 whole days doing nothing -absolutely nothing- but homework! Plus 7 hours each morning since last Saturday!)
Disclaimer: Hetalia isn't mine!
I heard a loud THUMP, and then someone groaned.
I winced. EEP.
"Ouch..." The voice wasn't from a girl, it was from a guy. ...but that didn't make it any less scary! Seriously, who would want to break into Alfred's house in the middle of the afternoon! Whoever it was, I could feel his eyes on my back. "A-A-A-Alfred! What a surprise! I didn't think you...! ...Wait a minute...you're not Alfred."
I turned around slowly to find a boy about our age sitting there, right below Alfred's window. The boy's skin was tanned, and his wavy hair was dark brown. His eyes were intense forest green, bordering on olive. His clothes were loose, though they weren't baggy, and they were made of something that seemed to be really fresh and comfortable. In his feet he was wearing a pair of sandals, and he carried a pouch with very intense designs colored in bright orange, golden yellow, hot pink, forest green, and strawberry red. It looked as if someone who was in LSD had made it.
"Uh...no...I'm Alfred's acquaintance." I answered, getting up from my chair.
"...Oh, alright...What's your name? You're not from the USA, right?" He smiled brightly and walked up to me.
"...My name is Arthur Kirkland, and no, I'm not from the United States. I'm from England." I held out my hand to greet the boy, who instead of taking it just hit it (as if he were giving me a high 5) and then punched it lightly with his fist. "...huh?" I stared at him confused.
He laughed . "Sorry, sometimes I forget that you people don't say hello like we do! I'm Andy. Nice to meet you, man." When he stood up next to me, I was able to see that the boy was shorter than me.
I already liked this kid.
"Just Andy?" I asked.
Again, the boy laughed. "Well, my whole name is Andrés Cuauhtémoc Guerrero Salas, but I'm guessing it will be hard for you to pronounce it."
"Andres Cu—what?" I managed to say the first word complete, hooray for me! "Where are you from?"
Andy suddenly turned serious and made proud gestures with his hands as if he were saying a poem with lots of emotion: "I'm from the land where the ladies and the gentlemen dance around to the rhythm of the mariachi! I'm from where singing is the way to overcome depression! I come from the place where hot chocolate sometimes contains chile! From the land where we learn to dance before we learn to walk!" He smiled with a proud expression, "But most important of all, I'm from the land where 5 tacos are only fifty pesos!"
I stared at the guy with raised eyebrows. "...Uh..."
"Mexico, of course!"
And in that instant, Alfred opened the door. "Sorry Arthur, I was –...Andy? Awwgh... what the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?"
"I jumped the fence and crawled in through the window!" The tanned boy pointed at the open window.
"What? I thought I had locked it yesterday!" Alfred grumbled, walking over to the window and closing it.
"I picked the lock!" Andy grinned.
Alfred stared at Andy in disbelief. "But it's a high-tech window lock especially made to keep burglars out! How on Earth did you manage to open it!"
Andy held up a couple of paper clips. "My cousin Pancho taught me."
Smart little kleptomaniac brat.
Alfred sighed heavily. "Andy, why don't you just knock on the front door and walk inside like normal people do?"
"Eh...? Umm...because I'm scared of your father. He's a cop. Cops are scary." Andy answered, grinning goofily.
"Uh...did I miss something?" I mumbled.
"Oh! I didn't introduce you both!" Alfred scratched the back of his head and laughed. "Sorry!"
"Don't worry, Alfred, we already met each other!" Andy placed a hand around my neck in an overly-friendly way. "Right, amigo?"
"E-e-eh?" I squirmed from under the boy's arm, trying to get out. "W-w-why are you hugging me? I just met you!" For God's sake! 5 minutes in the same room and he was already calling me a friend? All I knew about him was that he could pick locks and his cousin's name was Pancho!
"Hmm?" Andy tilted his head to the side, very confused.
Alfred laughed and patted my head. "Don't be afraid, Arthur! Andy is just overly friendly like that!" I grumbled and pushed Arthur's hand off my head.
The mexican boy pointed at me curiously. "Say, Alfred, is this guy bitter or what?"
"I'm not bitter!" I frowned at him. How rude!
"Go home, Andy." Alfred pushed the young kid towards the window.
"Wait, wait! Alfred, I came here for a reason!" Andy turned around. He pushed his hand inside the very colorful pouch he was carrying. "I found the stuff you asked for!" He pulled out a black plastic bag.
...Huh?
Alfred grinned. "Great!" He tried to reach for the bag, but Andy retrieved it.
"No, no. I need the money before I give this to you."
Alfred rolled his eyes. "Fine, but let me see the merchandise."
I tried to look over his shoulder, but I couldn't see what that 'mercancy' was. The only thing I could hope was that those weren't drugs, or something similar!
Alfred pulled out some money from his pocket and gave it to Andy. Andy then gave the plastic bag to Alfred and counted the money, nodding with approval.
"If you want more of these, you know who to ask!" And then he opened the window and jumped to the tree outside, crawling down to the floor and running away with surprising ease and familiarity.
"...What was all that about?" I asked. Now I was really lost.
Alfred laughed. "Promise to keep this a secret, alright?" He showed me the black plastic bag.
"...What's in there?" I couldn't help it. My curiosity was simply too much. Were those drugs? Or maybe alcohol? Or a fire-arm? Or a limited-edition brand of chocolate that was only produced in Mexico? Or perhaps condoms?
...I don't know why I thought that. Anyway, I turned red. I'm just glad Alfred didn't know the reason.
Alfred opened the bag to reveal...
Three cans of...cat food? Are you serious?
"Cat food? That's what you have been so secretive about?" I almost hit his head. I almost did. But I'm a gentleman, and gentlemen don't do that. Especially when the victim is so damn good-looking.
"Shh! Shh!" He looked around furtively. "Follow me."
I followed Alfred downstairs and out to his backyard, which was enormous to say the least. There were a few rosebushes blooming here and there, on top of the bright-green grass, and many trees grew around the garden. A tall fence made of wood separated this mini-forest from the outside.
I wondered if that was the fence that Andy had jumped to get to Alfred's room. ...If that's the case, the kid must be in a really good physical condition.
I kept following Alfred through the garden all the way until we reached the other side. We were in front of the fence.
Then I heard the tiny meow of a kitten. I looked down to see a white ball of fur stretching on top of an improvised bed made with a blue blanket with polar-bear designs. The blanket was probably not Alfred's, but belonged to his brother...err...damn, how queer, I never forget names!
Another tiny meow, and then the next thing I knew, the silly, little thing was pawing at Alfred for food.
"...Your secret is a cat?" I slapped myself mentally. That's the most stupid question I've made in a while. Why else would he need the cat food?
Alfred nodded, apparently not thinking anything about the question. "No one knows, not even grandma or Mathew."
"Mathew?" I raised an eyebrow.
"My brother."
...Oh.
"Don't tell them, alright?" He opened the can of cat food and put it in front of the kitten, who stumbled towards it in a really cute way. "Hmm...I wonder where his siblings are?" Alfred looked around curiously. "Oh, here they come."
Seconds later, two other kittens stumbled out from under a tree trunk and began eating the cat food mercilessly. I couldn't help but smile...I have a soft spot for cute, cuddly creatures.
"Their mother abandoned them here a while ago. She used to come back every day to feed them. But last week it rained very heavily. I haven't seen her ever since." He scratched the back of his neck. "It can get to be a little troublesome to bring them something to eat, especially when my parents are here, but it's worth the risk."
We went back upstairs to finish the project after spending a while watching the kittens play with each other. (By the way, Alfred's brother was looking for his blanket).
When we were in Alfred's room, we turned the computer back on to keep writing but we didn't really do anything. We were just talking about stuff. I don't even remember what it was, specifically. Something about school.
I liked Alfred's voice. It sounded so friendly and kind when he wasn't yelling.
He laughed and nodded at a random comment I had made. "That's true! He does look a lot like Sylvester Stallone, huh? I wo—"
My vibrating cellphone interrupted his words. "Excuse me, Alfred." I picked it out of my pocket and took a look at the number, which I couldn't recognize. Curiously, I opened my cellphone and pressed it against my ear. "Hello?"
"Hey, Arthur~!"
That...voice...
"Arthur~? Are you there? Are you ignoring me? Arthur? ...Arthur!"
Bloody hell, it was...
"Heather?" I frowned at no one in particular. Great. Now Vlad the Impaler had my cell phone number.
Alfred looked surprised. He mouthed an "It's Heather?" at me. I nodded, still frowning. He rolled his eyes, which surprised me a little. Then a mischevious grin formed over his face. "Put it on speakers! I promise I won't laugh or say anything!" He whispered. Without thinking it twice, I put her in the speakers.
"Well, duh." She said.
"...How did you get my number?"
Please tell me so I can rip off that person's limbs slowly and painfully.
Heather laughed. "Oh, I have my contacts, silly. I'm not gonna tell you who they are, duh~."
Bloody lucky little contacts.
"How may I be of your service, Heather?"
"Well..." She practically purred into the phone. "...there are many things you can help me with, if you know what I mean~..."
God, I don't think she's talking about English or History. "Right...Why did you call me?"
"I just wanted to make sure that you knew I was having a party this Friday. You know, my parents aren't gonna be home." I could almost picture her biting her lip. "You could get a little earlier, if you wanted to..."
What the hell? Does she ever stop being so bloody horny?
"Uhh...Friday? Sorry, I can't go. I've got business to attend to." I wasn't lying (though even if I hadn't been occupied that day, I'd lie). I really had to go somewhere.
"We can go out to the pool, and I'll wear my pink bikini, and you can do—"
"Heather," I interrupted her. "I can't go."
"on my back... Wait, what?"
"You heard me." I replied as stoically as I could. "I can't go to your party because I have other business to attend to."
"...Other business?" Her voice wasn't so sweet now. "What business could you have that is so much better than me, huh? Do you have the slightest idea of how much effort I'm putting in convincing you to come over? Do you think I throw my body into any random guy all the time?"
As a matter of fact, I do. But I wasn't about to tell her that. "Heather, I really can't go."
"Listen, you stuck-up British-guy!" I scowled at the name she called me. "I don't care if you have a girlfriend or not! No one rejects me! Ever! You are going to be mine, wheather you like it or not!"
"Heather–"
"Don't you Heather me! I'm sick of you ignoring me for two whole weeks! I practically threw my body over yours after english class!"
"I—"
"I don't care! You'll be mine, Arthur Kirkland, you'll be mine! I'm not sure if you know this, but my father is a very important man! I'll know the reason you are ignoring me! And I don't care what it is, I'll make sure you and I are together!" And then she hung up the phone.
I stared at it with a frown in my face. What a bloody attitude!
The awkward silence was interrupted by Alfred's whistle. "Seems like you're in one hell of a problem."
"Oh, it's not a problem," I answered as I put the cellphone back in my pocket, "it's just some hormone-crazy girl that thinks she likes me."
"Thinks?" Alfred repeated with emphasis. "She's crazy for you, man. I saw you both in English class, actually. You know, when she was doing all that suggestive stuff and...you know." Surprisingly, he wasn't blushing. "You rejected her and she's pissed. If I were you, I'd watch my back."
I just shrugged, not bothered by the threats she had been sending me. "I couldn't care less of who her father is or what she's planning to do to fulfill her desire for intercourse with a complete stranger."
Alfred laughed and smiled at me. "Well...maybe...but still, she's the type of girl who won't just back down. You heard her, and she didn't sound like she was joking."
"Oh, pfft." I rolled my eyes. "Why would she want someone like me to go out with her, anyway? I actually plan to do something productive with my life, I'm serious, and I don't fool around with strangers." Well, at least not anymore. "If she thinks she's the 'popular-chick-that-every-guy-wants-to-have-sex-with', isn't she supposed to go out with some gigantic guy who plays American Football or basketball?"
"...Maybe she likes little guys." Alfred joked.
I wasn't amused. "...I'm not little. ...Besides, she'll get bored with a guy like me."
"Why?" Alfred leaned in, resting his head on his hands. "Don't you have any secrets?"
"No, no secrets at all." I answered, already used to lying about it.
"Oh, come on!" Alfred punched my arm lightly. "Everyone has a secret or two!"
Secrets? Well...let's see.
When I was in boarding school, in a town two hours away from here, I used to be a juvenile delinquent who would go to random parties and get drunk, steal final exams (and never got busted, just so you know), get in multiple fights multiple times, and who had sex for the first time at age 14. Then I was brought back to this city, where I tried to redeem everything I had done by getting high grades and being an excellent son. Oh, and the fact that only a few people know I'm gay.
"Not me. I'm just plain and boring." I replied, shaking my head.
Alfred slumped back into his chair, somehow disappointed. He had a look of suspicion and doubt painted in his whole face. "I still don't believe you...There has to be something."
"Well..." I began, watching as his eyes began to shine with curiosity. "...I don't think many people know that I enjoy reading poems before I go to sleep."
Alfred sighed and rolled his eyes, making me laugh.
By the time we decided to actually get working, it was already getting late. Because of this, Alfred decided that he'd do the last blog by himself. Of course I protested, but he just ignored me and said some crap about him being a hero and whatnot. In the end, I couldn't fight against his smile (though I didn't tell him that, of course), so I decided to just let him be.
He took me back home and we said goodbye to each other. He waited until I was inside the house to leave, like a true gentleman.
...Oh my God, I sound like a chick!
Once I was inside, I was greeted by a very (very) annoying grin from Gareth.
"How was your date, pixie?" Gareth followed me upstairs. "Had any action tonight?"
"More than you've had in the last months." I replied with a smart-ass grin.
His smile immediately got replaced with a scowl and he rolled his eyes at me. "Tch. Remind me why I bother making breakfast for you every morning."
"Remind me why I bother to eat whatever it is that you call breakfast." I answered and his scowl deepened. Haha! Victory again! Arthur 2, Gareth 0.
"Because what I cook is revolutionary food, and in reality you love it so much that you can't say 'no' to it." He crossed his arms and smiled proudly at himself. "...Anyway, pixie, you never told me anything about your date."
"It wasn't a date, idiot." I huffed in a somewhat childish way. "We were working on a project." I'm usually very patient, but Gareth (and Peter) had the ability to make me want to strangle him.
"Uh-huh... And that's the reason you look so red, hmm?" Gareth trailed off, rolling his eyes. "Please. That guy certainly seemed interested in you, I mean, I saw him open the car's door for you...and he also waited until you were inside the house before he left." Now he had a stupid grin on his face. "Hey! You really are blushing! Did something actually happen? Are you hiding stuff from me, fairy?"
"I'm not blushing." I spat back, crossing my arms and frowning. "Alfred was just being nice, that's it. Besides, you must have me in a terrible regard if you think I did something with him when it's the first time I go to his house."
"Aww, come on, Arthur. Do you think I'm stupid? Everyone knows gays are the ones who get the most sex."
I'm not going to lie to you, now I was pissed. If he dared to say anything like that again, I...
"Shut the hell up!" I growled at him. His stupid grin made me roll my eyes, though I still felt the skin of my cheeks become red. ...but I think it was because I was angry now. "Quit being so stupid and get out of my room, Gareth. Jesus, why does everyone want to be in here?"
"Arthur!" My dad called from the kitchen. "Arthur, come get something to eat!"
"Yeah, I'm coming!" I answered from my room.
"I bet that's what you told your friend, hmm?" Gareth chuckled stupidly.
I punched his face for being an ass.
Gareth moaned loudly and held his nose with his hands. "Hey, what the hell!"
"Shut up, Gareth!" I snapped at him. "I'm telling you nothing happened, so be quiet and go away!"
"What an attitude, geez." He mumbled, and eventually did leave.
I sighed heavily and sat down in my bed, taking my shoes off and putting them in their own spot (because, unlike Alfred, I like living the way civilized people live, thank you very much).
I wasn't bothered about him telling my parents that I punched him. But...I hated reacting in a violent way. I hadn't punched someone since last year.
"Arthur!" My dad called again.
"Yeah!" I got up and walked downstairs. My father was sitting in the kitchen alone, getting out a dish and placing it on top of the table for me.
"You don't need to do this, you know? I can get my own food." I said, not in a rude way, but just so I wouldn't be a bother to him. I sat down in front of the dish.
Dad laughed and grabbed something (that I hope he didn't cook) and put it on top of my plate. Fish, some artichokes, and potatoes too. "Don't worry, boy. I'm your father, I'm supposed to be doing things like these for you. All your brothers are already independent from your mother and I. You and Peter are the only ones left for us to look after, and you're both growing up really fast."
I smiled at him. I knew my parents cared a lot for me, and I knew they were sorry that they weren't there when I was younger. That's why Peter was getting more attention and less baby-sitting time, except for this Friday, of course.
"Oh, dad, I asked Berwald to come look after Peter this Friday, by the way."
"Berwald Oxenstierna? The son of the doctor, right?"
I nodded. Berwald's father and my father know each other since they were in junior high. They used to attend the same high school, though they went to different universities . Later on, they worked together once because Oxenstierna needed my dad's help for something.
He raised a suspicious eyebrow. "...I'm surprised Peter isn't afraid of him. He's almost as tall as me, though he's just 17. I remember his father was as tall as the kid is right now, and he spoke so little. He was scary, but he was really nice."
"Just like Berwald." I smiled knowingly.
Dad laughed. "I guess. Anyway," he turned more serious, "where are you going this Friday, Arthur?"
"Some guys hired us for a party." I answered with a light shrug as I took a bite from my food. "Don't worry about anything dad, they are way younger than me. I'm already 16, I'm not interested in 14-year-old girls." Or girls of any age, actually.
My father sighed and scratched his neck. "Don't worry, son. I don't mind where you go as long as you take care of yourself. ...Don't be home very late, though. Your mother and I will only be at the dinner for a few hours."
"Okay." I nodded.
Peter needed someone to babysit him this Friday because no one was going to be home. Except for him, obviously. My brother, Collin, was going to work his first full night at the pub that would be his one day (after he graduated from University). Gareth was going to go to his girlfriend's house for the weekend (you can imagine what they were gonna do after being in a long-distance relationship for months). And mom and dad had a fancy dinner with some of the other professors from the University in which dad worked.
You might be asking yourselves this: What about Arthur? What is he going to do this Friday?
Well, I'm gonna go do the one thing I've never been able to leave (and I know I'll never be able to leave). I'll go play a few songs with my band in a party.
It's the only thing I couldn't drop after I decided to leave my past-self behind. The band members are friends of mine, I couldn't just leave them out of my life and ignore them. Besides, I love music, especially rock and punk, and I'm very proud that England's bands are known to be some of the most influential bands for today's musicians. My brother, Adam, was the one who taught me how to play an instrument. I think that's the only thing I do well (perhaps besides playing football, but I still think I'm better at playing the guitar). Let's see...how can I put this...? I'm as good with the guitar as much as I suck at cooking. Exactly.
After spending some time with my father and finishing my dinner, I went upstairs to my room. As I said, I love music, so you can imagine that the walls in my bedroom were covered in posters of many different bands. Most of them were English, but I did have some posters of American bands, but those weren't as many.
It wasn't that late, just about 9 at night, but I was still a little tired. I used the last of my energy to read one of Shakespeare's sonnets, and then I drifted into slumber.
The last thing my mind could process before I went to sleep were thoughts of a certain American's smile.
Omg such a short chapter! Sorry!
Awww...Arthur is sooo in love with Alfred! :D
Please review and I'll try to convince Arthur and Alfred to turn "Hamlet" into a comedy that involves Francis. Dressed as a cat. With leather boots.
Thank you~!
P.D. -I'll try to update regularly, but school is starting soon! So maybe (maybe) I'll update one or two days later (I doubt it, though).