Beta: SunMoonAndSpoon
Tell me how to forgive you
When it's me who's ashamed
And I wish could free you
Of the hurt and the pain
But the answer is simple
He's the one to blame
Shakira and Beyonce Knowles, "Beautiful lie"
As much as he hated to admit it, things weren't really going according to plan. Raito had hoped that once he had worked out his deal with L, he would have greater freedom to pursue his goals without a meddlesome detective foiling his moves. Instead, he was now busy with the most mundane things, like making appointments with his college professors and asking them what he could do to make up for all the classes and assignments that he had missed. He had been absent until then for more than three months and his father had been more than willing to write him a note of excuse, stating that Raito was severely ill. Handling the professors was easy; they all loved him (why was that not surprising?) and they were happy to give him another chance. No, the difficult part was facing Kiyomi Takada, the woman who had asked him out, the woman who he'd agreed to date for appearance's sake. As shallow as she was (for she really did like being called Miss To-Oh), she wasn't dumb and she was suspicious about his whereabouts.
"Raito," she called to him one day after class, when all the students were filing out like sheep. "Raito!"
Raito was half-tempted to pretend that he hadn't heard her, but out of courtesy's sake, he turned around and smiled politely, as if he was surprised to see her.
Kiyomi stopped then, as though confused about what she wanted to say to him. He'd disappeared from her life abruptly and it wasn't easy trying to think of a non-prying way to ask what had happened.
He waited patiently for her to say something.
Finally, she asked, "How are you? You haven't been around for a long time. Is everything okay?"
"Uh, yeah," he said, suddenly the spitting image of the handsome, uncertain boy who had no idea how to behave in front of a beautiful woman. They started for the exit together. "I'm sorry but I came down with this really bad illness. Couldn't do much, just lie in bed all day."
"Oh," her brow furrowed in something between suspicion and concern. "I was worried about you...I tried calling your cell phone many times but it was turned off."
"Yeah, my dad confiscated it," he fibbed smoothly. "He just wanted me to concentrate on getting better. Doctor's orders." He shot her a most disarming smile. She was pacified but she clearly wanted to spend more time with him.
"I hope you're feeling better now," she offered.
"Much better, thanks. I'm just worried about how I'm going to catch up on all this work."
Kiyomi's face fell then. Was she upset that she hadn't been in his thoughts when he was away?
"Raito," she started again, and it sounded like she was trying to get back into his good books. He sneered inwardly. Women were so predictable. "Why don't we study together this afternoon? I'm sure I can help you with the back assignments."
"That would be wonderful, Kiyomi...but I have so many things to do and I think it'd be better if I did this alone." It was the politest way he could turn her down. She tried not to show upset she was and even lingered a little longer, hoping that he'd say he wanted to see her some other time. He said nothing.
"All right," she said, perhaps admitting defeat at last. "See you around."
"Sure," Raito nodded. "Take care."
As Kiyomi walked away, Raito heard a voice saying, "Misa's gonna be darned happy about this." He looked to find Ryuk standing beside him, leering at the dark-haired girl as though she were a tasty slice of apple.
The young man shrugged. "I went out with Kiyomi just to keep away L's suspicions from me and Misa. Now that I finally have what I want, there's no need for that pretense."
But you're still pretending with Misa, aren't you?
"Good point," Ryuk approved. "And I don't think L was very impressed by her, anyway."
Raito scowled at the demon. Why would he care about what L thought of the women he dated? He hadn't seen the sugar-loving investigator since the day he'd helped her move into the new hotel, graciously making sure that the men had properly brought in her things (though she didn't seem to possess anything other than a plethora of soft white shirts and loose jeans). The intention behind that was that he wanted to show her that he was a benign captor, capable of compassion and concern for the well-being of even his most fatal enemy. He had reminded L that her life had been spared and if she wasn't thankful for it now, she'd be eventually. She would be made to see his point and she would then use her amazing intellect to help him out. For what other use did he have for rebels than to either remove them or convert them to his own cause?
"What L thinks is irrelevant," he declared.
"She doesn't think much of Misa, either," observed Ryuk.
Raito turned to the annoying spirit. "Your point being?" he asked sharply.
"Hey, there's no need to get so serious, I was just making an observation." But there was something snide in Ryuk's tone that Raito disliked. Almost as if the spirit knew something that he didn't.
Well, that shouldn't be too shocking. Ryuk was always concealing or 'forgetting' to tell him key facts that Raito had to find out from secondary sources. Or when he was in a dire fix.
"Whatever," Raito huffed. He needed to think of using the Death Note again. So far, Misa had done an appreciable job of acting as his right hand, but he thought if was time to get back to work, so to speak. That, and he still hadn't settled how to put L under surveillance. Truth of the matter was, he'd been so busy with other things that he hadn't had time to ask after Rem.
Therefore, for the time being, he'd set Ryuk to watch over her. It seemed like a good idea, for L wouldn't be able to see the male demon. There would hence be more of a chance of her being caught red-handed that way.
(Almost like he wanted her to do something wrong.)
"So what exactly do you want me to do?" Ryuk had wanted to know.
"Make sure that she doesn't try to contact anyone, or tell Watari."
"Okay. And what do you want me to do if she does? Write her name in my Death Note?" There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
It was a valid question. Obviously, Rem watching L would be a preferable option; she'd be kept on her toes that way. And besides, Ryuk was needed here more.
(And if he made one more smart-ass comment about how much easier it was to just kill L because they wouldn't have to worry about who was watching whom...)
Ryuk had now just returned from another "shift," no doubt for a bushel of apples that he felt he so rightly deserved.
"What was she up to?" asked Raito casually as he walked down the steps of the building. There was a water fountain nearby and he had often thought of sitting on its edge and looking into the crystal clear water, feeling the spray on his face. But there were other college students clustered there now, hanging out, just talking and laughing.
"Nothing you'd be interested in," quipped Ryuk.
"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't," returned Raito, slightly impatient.
"She just went to see that old man in the hospital."
"Watari."
"I know."
"Then what? Did she tell him anything?"
"No. Just that she's no longer chasing you."
Chasing you. The double meaning sounded absurd...not to mention obscene. "And what did he say to that?"
"He said he hoped that she was happy with her decision. Look, Raito, if you send me to watch her one more time, I'm writing your name in my Death Note."
Raito chuckled.
They went to the open-air market, where he bought a bag of rosy red apples. All this time, Ryuk stood beside him, leering at the fruits as though they were a pot of leprechaun's gold.
Raito followed his old routine of sitting on a bench behind the bush and feeding Ryuk the apples. In the back of his mind, as he watched an apple disappear chunk by chunk, he wondered why he couldn't just let the demon eat by himself. The logic was so that it wouldn't look weird that apples were vanishing on their own, but in hindsight, that made no sense. Next time, Ryuk was feeding himself.
When the spirit was done, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and looked down at Raito.
"You don't have any idea where Rem is, do you?" he asked.
A shark-like grin was his reply.
Raito sighed and leaned back. He was done for the day and unless something new came up, all he had to do was go home, write some essays, and watch the news during dinner. Perhaps he would give Misa a call later and tell her to let him take charge. He'd missed writing in the Death Note, tonight would be a treat.
Just then, his cell phone started ringing. It was Misa.
"Raito-kun!" her high-pitched voice rang out from the receiver, and he held it a bit away from his ear, annoyed. Why did she always have to act so bubbly?
"How are you? Why haven't you called me?" She must be pouting, which a lesser man would've found cute.
"I was...busy," he replied, ignoring Ryuk's chuckle. "Is something the matter, Misa?"
"What? Of course something's the matter! I miss you!"
He sighed again. "I missed you, too...honey," he added on second thoughts. Just because Kiyomi was out of his hands didn't mean that he wouldn't have to play it careful with Misa. If he hoped to make any use of her. Normally, he would think that taking advantage of someone's affection was dishonorable (how he'd protested when L suggested he do that) but these were special circumstances and he was, needless to say, willing to go to any lengths to achieve his goals.
Misa giggled happily. "Oh, Raito. I'm so glad you're thinking of me. Let's just go on a date today. Why don't you pick me up from my place?"
Oh, no... "Uh, Misa," he decided to change the subject. "Have you seen Rem?"
"Yeah," Misa sounded confused. "She's right here. Why?"
"What?" Raito sat up straight. "She's there?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Tell her to stay there. I need to talk to her." And he hung up.
Misa was wearing a tight black mini-dress, her golden hair piled up on top of her head, her feet shod on black pencil heels. In other words, she wasn't wearing anything out of the ordinary, but it was obvious that she had dressed up for the occasion. And when Raito turned up at her door, she greeted him with a cry of delight, throwing her arms around his neck.
"Yay! You're here!" she exclaimed, her blue eyes twinkling.
He accepted her embrace without returning it. "Hey."
Ryuk floated in and Misa stepped away to greet him. At least she hadn't tried to kiss him.
As Raito went into the living-room (were the lamp shades sparking? She must have put in some effort to welcome him here again), looking for any signs of the female spirit.
Rem was standing in the corner, slouching near the window, her reaction to seeing him the total opposite of Misa's. He knew she didn't care for him, but that wasn't going to stop him from asking her.
"Raito," said Misa, having shut the door, entering the room Ryuk. To his surprise, before the petite blonde could say anything else, Rem spoke up. "Misa said you wanted to speak with me."
"Yes," said Raito. "I need you to do something for me."
"Is that so, Raito Yagami?" Rem challenged coldly. "I've already helped you find L's name."
"And I'm grateful for that," he said, deciding to play it safe.
"What I don't understand it, how she lives, even after you were given her name." The seven-foot tall spirit glared at him icily.
"Look," said Raito, trying to be patient, cinnamon eyes transforming into serpentine slits. "You wanted no harm to come to Misa, didn't you? Now that I have L's name, Misa is safe."
"But why do you let that woman live?" Rem pressed. "I thought you wanted to kill her."
Why does everyone keep asking me this? he wondered, his jaw tightening. Aloud, he said, "I'm letting L live because I think that she'll eventually come over to my side." And that had come right out of nowhere. But as he kept speaking, the argument became more and more rational to him. (Absolutely. Why hadn't he seen it earlier?)
(But if she doesn't, then what?)
He hadn't thought of it that far. Which was weird because he was always planning everything so scrupulously.
Rem – like Ryuk before her – didn't look convinced at all. And he hated that it felt like both the demons knew something that he was unaware of (and he hated being kept in the dark) and they weren't willing to share it with him. What on earth is it?
"What did you want with me, then?" Rem asked finally.
"I want you to go and keep an eye on L as frequently as possible," said Raito. "I want you to make sure that she isn't plotting anything or going anywhere. I want it to stay that way."
"And how long do I watch her?" asked Rem.
"As long as necessary," said Raito, "as long as I don't tell you to stop."
When Rem seemed reluctant to help him, Misa stepped forward and touched the demon's white arm.
"Please, Rem," she pleaded, her blue eyes wide and big as she looked up at the other. "I trust that Raito has a good reason to want this."
Rem was displeased but she couldn't say no to the girl. "All right," she conceded at last. Ryuk actually grinned.
Raito smirked. "Good. I'll be taking you to her later today. Just to show you where she lives."
"And Misa?" Rem was always so predictable, Misa was her primary concern.
"Misa will be fine with me," Raito assured her. "The Kira case is closed now. No one suspects her of anything."
Rem stared at him for a long time, as though she were in deep thought, or rather, deep observation, wondering about his sudden change of plan. Or maybe she was just thinking of the girl's safety.
"I give you my word," Raito promised, his voice deep. "I'll take care of Misa. She's been safe so far, hasn't she?"
(Well, not that safe since L had tortured her, but he conveniently ignored it.)
This time, Rem acknowledged him with a slight nod of her head.
"Yay!" Misa squealed, and grabbed Raito's arm. "Now let's go on that date."
They had some green tea at a local restaurant, along with some grilled eel and rice. Raito hadn't realized how hungry he was until he entered the restaurant and smelled the food. To his surprise, Rem and Ryuk had followed them here, as though they were their bodyguards. Or maybe they had nothing better to do.
"Disgusting," remarked Ryuk when she saw their orders brought in. Misa just giggled at the comment.
Raito ate quietly, listening to her talk to him about a photo shoot she'd had this morning, and how many times she'd thought of text messaging him. Whenever they got together on these false dates, it was always her talking and him listening (and he didn't even wish to do that because she rarely uttered anything of importance). His only breaks were fans interrupting them to take her autograph. Though there were moments when he wanted to slink away like a shadow because she kept taking his hand and announcing cheerfully, "This is my boyfriend." While she was a budding celebrity, he wanted to keep a low profile. He had no interest in fame.
On the bright side, at least no one was taking pictures.
"Oh, Raito," Misa turned to him suddenly. "We have to try the chocolate ice cream here. It's the best in Tokyo."
Raito conceded with a non-commital nod. He wasn't much of a sweets person but he supposed that some ice cream wasn't objectionable.
"My movie's opening in theaters next week," Misa announced to him excitedly, her spoon clattering with her ice cream bowl. "You'll be coming as my date, won't you?"
"I'll think about it."
She looked disappointed, but she didn't say anything.
When they were done with their ice creams, he said the other thing he wanted to tell her. "Misa," he took a moment to touch her shoulder. "You can stop judging criminals now. I can take over from here."
She was taken aback by her decision but her eyes softened when he took her hand. " L's no longer a threat." He smiled. "We're finally free to start planning for a world where we can reign together – just you and I." He was almost tempted to throw in "and children" but that would be too cheesy.
Misa's eyes misted over with affection as she gazed up at him the same way she had when he'd ordered her to carry out judgments on his behalf.
"You've been so helpful to me, Misa," he went on softly. "I don't what I'd do without you."
A soft blush appeared on her fair cheeks, her eyelids lowering. "I'm so glad," she sighed. "You know how I want to be useful to you."
Raito smiled again at her. The smile did not reach his eyes.
He was on his way to see L now. Outside the restaurant, he had told Misa to go home and when she'd started to protest, he'd casually brushed his mouth against her cheek. Ryuk had gone with her (he was better at tolerating the actress's company) – and here Rem was, standing beside him, an ominous look on her face, like she was very dissatisfied about the task she was to fulfill.
Soon, he found himself standing before L's door, a place where he'd been just days earlier. He wished for an instant that L could not see Rem so that she could be taken by surprise – and that would be fun.
He raised his hand and knocked.
The door opened a moment later. L was looking her usual disheveled self, though the bags under her eyes had become heavier. Without her face registering a change of expression as she spotted Rem, she went back in leaving the door open so that they could come inside.
Raito had to say that he was not particularly impressed by her passive aggressiveness, but he stepped in anyway, the demon following him, and shut the door behind.
This was the sitting-room, and the heavy curtains had been drawn, only letting a small ray of sunlight in. It actually reminded him of a vampire's lair.
The television was blaring. He saw that the news was on NHK.
"Today, there have been reports of the deaths of three more notorious criminals. The police have confirmed that it is Kira – "
L switched off the television, and turned a questioning stare at Raito, silently inquiring what he was doing here. And with Rem, too.
"So is this what you do all day?" he took a light, sarcastic tone, lazily walking around like a building inspector. "Sit in a dark room, watching the latest news bulletins?"
She eyed him warily. "Is there something I can help Raito-kun?" she said, as if she had better things to do.
Instead of answering her question, he said, "I remember that you used to have little time for anything else. It was always eat and work – and the occasional visits to YouTube." He neglected to mention the five hours of sleep she'd allowed him and herself during that period. "Tell me, Ryuuzaki, how do you spend your time these days?"
"I sit in a dark room all day and watch the latest news bulletins." She didn't miss and beat, and a cynical smile appeared on her lips. "And then I call room service for more sweets."
"Ah. Not much of a change, I see." He didn't notice that he'd made a small joke until she raised a thin eyebrow at him. "You could be doing more than that, you know," he said.
"Yes." She nodded her agreement. "I could continue my investigation and put Kira on death row, as he rightly deserves. Sadly, I cannot do that due to unavoidable circumstances."
Ouch. "How tragic," he said drily.
"Indeed."
A small silence ensued then. He glanced at Rem beside him, and saw that the investigator glancing at Rem, and decided to explain her presence.
"I know that you gave your word that you would stop pursuing me," he said, raising his chin to look her in the eye. "But as further precaution, Rem will be watching you – to make sure that you don't break the agreement."
L paled then, her eyes widening. Clearly, he noted with a triumphant smirk, she hadn't seen this coming. But her expression relaxed and the sternness returned to her eyes.
"You have someone else watching before, didn't you?" she said all of a sudden.
It was his turn to be thrown off guard. "How did you guess?" He couldn't stop himself.
"I heard a noise in the middle of the night," she answered. "And then, I saw an apple disappear."
Raito tightened his jaw. Trust Ryuk to do a sloppy job and give into his love of apples.
He shrugged. "It's nothing personal. After all, you installed bugs and sixty-three cameras in my room, if I remember correctly."
She almost flinched. "Sixty-four," she corrected, glaring at him again.
"Whatever." The young man rolled his eyes. "I'm not even counting the other stuff you put in the house."
She narrowed her eyes. "You knew about them?"
"Definitely," he answered silkily. Before she could ask how, he said, "I hope you don't mind."
She resentfully at the demon again, who remained as silent as a stone, and said a little tightly, "No...I suppose I don't."
"Good." He gave her a lopsided smile.
"How long does Raito-kun plan to have Rem watch over me?"
"As long as it takes," he rested a hand on the back of the couch. "I have a...proposition for you, L."
"What is it?" she asked suspiciously.
He started this carefully. "You're a very intelligent person..."
"Thank you."
"I want you to help me."
L stared at him for a moment, onyx eyes wide with disbelief. Then she turned away and started to laugh without really smiling, her bony shoulders shaking with that husky laughter. He'd never heard her laugh before – mostly, when they used to work those long hours together to catch Higuchi, she'd go as far as a smile. But never a laugh.
"I'm not kidding!" Raito said angrily, a flush rising to his face.
"I know," she returned, still laughing. "That's what makes it so funny."
He glowered at the raven-haired detective. "I'm offering you a chance to redeem yourself!"
"Redeem myself?" she echoed dangerously. "I'm not the one who's a mass-murderer out on some twisted mission to cleanse the world of evil...Kira." She bit out the name like an insult.
"Such harsh words from one who was cowering before my demands just a week ago!" he exclaimed, brown eyes blazing with anger.
"Only because you left me no choice," she shot back, stepping forward. "You threatened the lives of people I know. Unlike you, Kira, I value human life."
It was Raito's turn to laugh incredulously. What a hypocrite she was! "You value other people's lives?" he repeated her words. "What about that death row inmate you put on TV to track me down? Did you value his life?"
"It was something that had to be done," L defended herself, her voice octaves above a hiss. "He was scheduled to be executed anyway."
"And you don't think that the killing of dangerous criminals is something that has to be done – to make the world a better place?"
"And kindly explain to me how the killing of criminals makes this world a better place?" she threw back his words at him mockingly.
"What about those fifty-three days of solitary confinement that you put me and Misa through?" he demanded. "Don't act so innocent, Ryuuzaki. You yourself are willing to go to any length to get what you want."
"I did what I had to do in order to find the truth!" she snapped. "It wasn't doing it for fun."
"Do you think that I do this for fun?"
"Judging from the way you were using those prisoners to send me little messages, I'd have to say yes."
He ignored her. He had to take a calmer approach. "Ryuuzaki – L – I'm only asking you because you're the only other person I know who cares so much about justice. With your intelligence and skills, we can achieve these goals much quicker and more easily."
"Raito-kun forgets that these goals are his, not mine," she pointed out frostily.
He clenched his fist. Why did she have to be so damn difficult?
A shuffle, and she moved towards a chair to sit down.
"But let's say," she said, much quieter now, as if their argument had drained the energy out of her. "That you did accomplish your goals. What do you want to be in this new world?"
He briefly looked out the little opening in the curtains at the sun outside before facing her again. "I will be the ruler of this new world."
"You're no more a ruler than I am."
Raito glared at her. She held his gaze with calm dignity, and he wouldn't have expected any less from her.
"You ingrate," he seethed. "I spare your life despite the threat you posed. I show you compassion and this is the thanks I get."
"If Raito let me live to improve his image, then he has no right to expect me to thank him," she stated, disgusted. "You're more twisted than I thought."
That left him speechless. They stared each other down like two parties locked in a cold war and no matter what the odds were, neither would back away.
"I swear to you, L," he said at last, leaning towards her, growling. "I will make you see my point sooner or later. And you will understand that I was right all along."
The detective's pale, slender throat caught the light. "Raito-kun can try to his heart's desire," she replied coldly. "But I am afraid he will be wasting his time and mine."
That was it. She was taking it too far, saying all sort of things to provoke him and make him do something stupid.
Raito turned to the silent demon who had stood there all this time, observing everything without making a single comment – just waiting and watching.
"You stay here," he told Rem, although it was unnecessary because she already knew what to do.
(But then, giving Rem orders in front of L was a good idea.)
"Watch her at all times," he said, ignoring another one of L's glares. "And report to me if she tries anything funny. Or," he added for good measure, "you could just kill her."
L actually flinched at that.
With a final triumphant smirk at her over his shoulder, Raito stepped out of the suite and slammed the door behind him.
A/N: Sorry I've been late in posting this chapter. I've been lazy and my beta has some tough issues to deal with in real life. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and let me know ;).