Author's Note:

Okay, I'm in my room and freezing cold, starting to feel sick. Ava and Nay are half sisters, just to tell you. They have different fathers, so they look and act different from each other. Btw, there's a picture of Nayeli on my profile.

OKAY YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IS A FLASHBACK! Because I'm starting to think that you really need to know what's going on, and this one is a biggie, but the next chapter is normal (with the last flashback in a while, I think). Flashbacks will occur sometimes after the next chapter, only if needed. EARLY CHRISTMAS SPEICAL-ish….in there… kinda…

Falling In Love But Falling Apart

Chapter 3: Fireflies and Butterlies

FLASHBACK:

As if things couldn't get worse, they did. My mom died. She got hit by a car, coming back home, walking. The police said she was drunk. That was obvious.

I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I cried. I cried for my mom, who was never around to give a shit about me. But she was still my mom. It seemed like there was no time to mourn, we had to figure out what to do without her.

Now Ava had to take care of me. She did horribly for the first few weeks, but after a while we got it worked out. Ava had to work two jobs so that I didn't have to. Even though it was fine with me, if I had to. She would earn the money and did the bills and everything. I was only responsible of keeping the house clean, cooking dinner, buying groceries and getting good grades.

In a way, my mom's death did us good. Ava and I were closer, we had to be. We had to be able to trust each other with out lives, we were on edge. I liked it. Because finally, I had someone to talk to, I wasn't alone. I discovered new things about her; I discovered new things about me!

I enjoyed that the month, but after things turned calm and I didn't have anything on my mind. Thoughts about Jacob Black came crawling back to haunt me.

You know how they call fireflies, fireflies because they light up and they don't actually contain fire? When I thought about him like this, fireflies would light up and tickle my stomach. But now they just burned. The smoke would come up and my throat and make it impossible to breathe. It was a heavy feeling.

Our friendship had faded. It made it so much harder for me, just to look at him. I was scared. If he knew, would it bring us closer or would he just distance himself more. I knew Quil and Embry still cared for me though. Occasionally they would smile and wave at me, even have little conversations.

School was torture. 6 Hours of being in the same building as Jacob and I couldn't even say hi. There was also the fact that he was starting to date other girls. Like I heard that he had a crush on Bella. I remember her, from back then, briefly. She was really pretty, when I saw a new picture of her.

The trio (Jacob, Embry and Quil) were actually quite popular, not as popular as school's hottie, Zyler, but better than average.

Me on the other hand, was worse than average. I wasn't bullied or anything, people just left me alone. No one really seemed to notice me, even when my mom died. How could people be so blind?

But that changed today. I wore red short shorts and a gray shirt that hung down my shoulder exposing it, with Mickey Mouse on it. I could tell I looked like a slut, but Ava forgot to do the laundry, so I was stuck freezing in the rain. But that wasn't it.

I was sitting in English, which I was particularly good at. It was the only class I had with Jake, I treaded it. Because for that whole class, I would be dying to look at him, talk to him, do something to make him think I was here. Alive. I was dying to tell him about my mom, and feel his warm arms wrap around me and say "It's okay. Everything's going to be alright."

I drifted off, staring out the window black expression on my face. My hand was in my pocket, playing with the keys in my pocket. As much as I loved English, I rather go home, find something to distract me.

The window seemed to describe my life. It was blurry and gray outside and the raindrops seemed to remind me of my own tears.

I could hear the guys talking about how hot my body looked and the girls, gossiping about this "popularity stunt". Whatever, I didn't really care.

Ms. Brooks came in and greeted us with a smile. She was my favorite teacher. I loved doing her assignments and for the first time in weeks, I smiled a bit.

My head turned from the window to Ms. Brooks, but I didn't see what I expected. Jacob. His smile. His warm smile, I've missed for months. That was too much.

Was he just doing it because I was wearing slutty clothes? How dare he just smile at me, like nothing was wrong? Like he hadn't ignored me for the past months? How dare he! Jacob's face turned shocked when I scowled at him. This was too much. I could feel the fireflies burning up, the imaginary smoke starting to burn my eyes, making them watery with unshed tears.

I ran out of there. I could hear the whispers coming from the room but I couldn't stop. I needed to be home… safe. The rain poured on my whole body, in a way, I liked it. I loved the rain. Especially right now.

It wasn't even after a minute of stepping out of the school; I heard splashing footsteps following, behind me. So I ran faster. I was over half way home when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, I turned around. Can you guess who it was? Yep, Jacob Black.

The moment I saw him, the tears couldn't hold on any longer. I was panting from running so much and the cold. Why now? Why did he follow me?

"What!?" I said, harshly.

"What's your problem?! I smile at you for one second, and you turn all furious at me!"

"Ha! See, you would know what was MY PROBLEM, if you hadn't ignored me for the past months! So step back! You haven't stuck around, and I can't depend on you to be there…. I can't depend on anybody." I whispered the last part. He was shocked.

"Like what? What's happened to you, Nay?" Jacob said, grabbing me as I was about to break for it again.

"It's not like I'm bullet-proof, Jacob. First, you ignored me, avoided me. It left me alone. Two, my mom died, okay!? Third, what's wrong with me? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! I LOVE YOU! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! You're the strongest love, I've ever felt and you ignored me! You don't understand. You don't know me." Everything just burst out; I couldn't believe I finally did it. I told him how I felt. Tears were spilling as much as the rain, but it was there to cover it up.

"Look, this is even the place were we walked home and I TRIED to confess to you!"

He was astonished, blown away. I was too. It served him right. I left him there, not waiting to see his response. I ran all the way to my house. I was shaking and I was really glad it was raining. Because I was probably going to be sick the next two days, so I don't have to go to school.

I pulled out my keys and shut the door. My body collapsed, sliding down the door all the way down to the floor, crying. Good thing, Ava wasn't here because she would've demand what was wrong. Even though we were closer and I could trust her, I still had not told her about Jacob. Also, I didn't really feel like talking.

I stumbled up the stairs into my room and fell down on it. I was exhausted… It was a good thing I slept a lot that day, because the next day, there would be a lot of drama.

* * * * *

I was right, sick as a dog. My sister demanded I stay at home for the rest of the week, because there was only two more days left anyways. I took a deep breath…what should I do now? He knows now. I wonder what he thought… I wonder what he thinks of me now.

I should be making dinner soon, I thought. I looked through the cook book that we had, that we didn't really use until now, and browsed for something to cook tonight. Hmm… Seafood Alfredo Pasta, that sounds good. I pulled out all the ingredients, that we lucky had in the kitchen already and then there was a knock on the door. `

I looked out the window and guess who it was… again? Jacob Black, take two. I sighed, I was tried and wasn't yesterday enough already? One can only take so much.

Like always the fireflies stung as I looked at him but I fought them. I opened the door with a hard face. For a minute, it almost softened, seeing the sadness in his eyes but then it was wrecked when he opened his mouth.

"Can we talk?" Jake asked quietly.

"Why?" I spat.

"I'm sorry, Nay! I didn't…just let me talk, okay. I need you to know how I feel." He reasoned.

"Fine." I sighed softly, defeated.

"I had a feeling you liked me. But I didn't know how much and I guess I was a little freaked, okay. You're my best friend, I love you, but I wasn't sure I was IN love with you. Our first kiss was just a crush; my heart was bigger than I was." Jacob went on, pulling me down on the couch beside him.

His whole body turned to me and his arm around me. My heart was pounding. Nevertheless, my body directed forward with my eyes at the window, it was starting to sleet. (Mixture of rain and snow)

I felt emotionless listening to him, my eyes were blank and I kept my arms around myself in a ball. The same as trying to contain myself from bursting.

"Mmmhm." That was all I could say, I bit my lip softly. I couldn't help but let a tear roll down my cheek, which he wiped away.

"I thought if I stayed away from you, you would stop liking me and things would go back to normal and we could be friends. Well, I found out I was wrong." Jacob explained. My heart pounded faster and I turned my head towards him, finally looking in his eyes.

"What?" I croaked.

"Can we just be friends? For now at least. Please, it would make things a lot easier." Jacob proposed.

"I was always your friend Jacob. It's not like I tried anything with you. You're the one who left me, remember?" I pointed out.

"Sorry…"-long silence-"Can we still be friends?" Jake pleaded. Even though he hurt me a lot, I couldn't say no to his face. A second chance couldn't hurt, right?

"Mmmm…..Okay." I sighed, smiling a bit at him. In the very first time in months, Jake hugged me, I was in consumed by his warmth that I've missed and yearned for so long. I almost started to cry.

This was enough and all I wanted…..for now."

* * * * *

The waves crashing on the rocks below the cliffs looked so cold from where I was, in Jacob's warm arms. It was beautiful and calming as I thought about the days, between us. Things shifted and changed…he finally felt what I felt. Believe me, over the course of a few weeks, it's been brewing up like a storm.

Day 1: Exhibit A

So today, I stumbled upon some picture of my mom and me, when I was a baby. It made me sad, she was gone forever. I had never even got to say goodbye.

Jacob tried to cheer me up so he took me to the movies. Didn't really work…

"You must be cold, here, borrow my jacket." Jake offered, he was so sweet.

"No, it's okay. You'll get cold too." I protested.

"No I will not." Jake argued.

"Will too!"

"Will NOT!"

"WILL TOO!"

"WILL NOT!" We looked over and a group of people were staring at us… We laughed at each other. Jake slipped the jacket on my shoulder and before I could protest, he covered my mouth with his finger.

"Shh, it's just a loan. Baby, I'm not letting my girl get cold!" He playfully flirted and winked at me.

"Uh-huh…" I rolled my eyes, but inside I was really jumping. DID HE REALLY JUST CALL ME HIS GIRL! There was so much to love about him.

I loved the jacket, it smelled like Jake. The smell that I loved, wintry cold forest and a new car. It was so Jake and I loved it.

We walked home together alone and it was quite romantic, well if we were a couple. No worries, I liked that we were friends, for now. It was fun, we always had fun together. There was no more pain, and the fireflies were gone.

"So, see you later!" I waved, Jake walked me home. He smiled and moved his way to me to plant a kiss on my forehead. Now that, gave me butterflies.

I opened the door and instantly felt the warm heater on, thank god. I skipped up to my room and cuddled in bed, Jake's jacket still on my shoulders. It was so warm, that's why I kept it on…I lied to myself.

The pocket felt a little heavy and when I moved it kind of shook a bit. My hand reached in the pocket and found a bag of gummy bears, which are my favorite!

The second thing I found was a pad of post-sticks. The first one said, "I love you!" in a heart. I flipped and flipped, all the way through, it had positive messages like "your awesome!" and "You're my favorite person in the world". It made my night.

Day 2: Exhibit B

"Quil, Embry, put that down! You're suppose to be helping me!" I scolded, slapping their hands before they could touch the special Christmas cookies I make every year. I have to say, I was an awesome cook. The cookies were cut into trees, ornaments, stockings, etc…and topped with frosting and sprinkles.

"Ow! Fine…meanie!" Quil whined childishly. Jake stood next to the ingredients spread out on the counter, waiting for instructions. He looked cute in a striped sweater.

"So, what are we making?" Embry asked, excited.

"We're making pieces for a homemade gingerbread house." I explained simply.

"YES!" They all cheered and with that, I told them their tasks and we actually got some work done.

A FEW HOURS LATER…

"Wow…everything looks great! We did an awesome job!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands ecstatic.

The kitchen was filled with glorious smells of bakery sweets. A fully decorated ginger bread house, a cake, a plate of cookies and another plate of mixed Christmas candy's, all made by me and the boys were set perfectly at the table. It was also decorated.

The tree was up and dazzling, bringing the whole room a warm Christmassy glow, which I loved. It just lit up the room. Red, green, white and yellow candles were set up everywhere. It was perfect!

Jake looked at me amused. Embry and Quil had to go home early so now it was just me and him. I was nervous, this is the first time we've been alone in a while, as friends.

"I agree. I'm glad you're so happy…." I blushed. "Can I have a cookie?" Thanks for ruining the mood Jake, I thought.

"Mmmm… fine, only one!" I allowed.

"Yes!" Jake went over to the kitchen and took a red, ornament shaped cookie.

"So…I guess we'll be spending Christmas Eve together, huh?" I realized.

"Mmhmm, I wess so" Jake said with a mouth full of cookie, swallowing it down.

"What do you wanna do?" I asked, bored.

"I could….give you your Christmas present early, like every year." Jake happily suggest, pulling out a box from his jacket pocket on the chair and sitting next to me.

"Okay!" I happily obliged back. Jake chuckled and I held out my hands for it. Jake placed the little red and green wrapped box in my hands and I ripped it a part. All well…

I opened it and found promise bracelet! Something was engraved in Quileute on it too. It was beautiful, it had glass beads on it too.

"Oh my gosh…" I whispered, shocked. Jake grinned and helped me put it on. Wait, why would Jake give me a promise bracelet…?

Day 3: Exhibit C

Everyone was counting down, downstairs and I could feel the excitement rising up. Jake and I were upstairs together on the balcony, smiling at each other, getting ready for the big moment.

I stared at my bracelet that Jake gave me; I haven't taken it off since he gave it to me. I smiled even more and clasped my hands together, ready to make a wish.

"So…you wishing for something?" Jake ignored my question.

"You know, this is usually when couples kiss." Jake stated, winking at me.

"Umm…okay…yeah, I'm just going to make a wish." I rambled nervously, what was he playing at? I closed my eyes and I remember the last thing I saw, the mischievous look on Jake's face.

"Five…Four…Three…Two…ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" I was about to make my wish but I was distracted by someone else's lips kissing mine. Could you guess who?

It was magic! It was one of those moments when you could just feel your life lift up and take off. The butterlies in my stomach swirled around in a nervously good way.

* * * * *

So here we are, perfect in each other's arms. We weren't exactly, officially girlfriend, boyfriend but we were both aware of something unique between us. It's been a little more obvious, you can say… It was a start of something new and it was what I wanted……. and then SHE happened.

END OF FLASHBACK!

A/N: PLEASE REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! IF YOU DO I'LL UPDATE TWO CHAPTERS NEXT TIME! I had a tough time writing this one too. I stayed up late on a school night to post this up so, REVIEW!