CHAPTER 3

"Hello Logan," I said as I turned around. "If you don't mind, I'd rather skip all the snarky comments and insults for right now. You'll just have to restrain yourself for like a day or two, okay?" I asked with pretend cheeriness as I turned back around. I was about to leave the place, planning on speaking to Wallace and Jackie later, when I heard Logan's voice again.

"You look beautiful Ronica," he said in a voice so soft and full of emotion that I almost didn't recognize it as his.

I resisted the impulse to run away again and turned to face him once more. "What, I left for five years and that's the first thing that comes out of your mouth. Hmm, has Logan Echolls really changed?" I snarked, hoping that he would just hate me.

"I'm not going to hate you Ronnie. Can we please just talk?" he asked, his eyes pleading.

I shook my head, "Not now, not here. I know we need to talk, but this is neither the time or the place," I replied, turning to walk away again. I didn't turn back when he said my name again. I kept walking with my head down. I didn't even notice where I was going until I ran into someone.

I looked up into the eyes of another person who I hadn't expected to see tonight. 'Wow,' I thought to myself, 'this night is sure becoming full of suprises.'

"Deputy, what are you doing here?" I asked because I hadn't been expecting him.

"Why do you think I'm here Veronica? I'm here to see you. You just disappeared after that summer. It's not Deputy anymore, by the way. I'm the Sheriff, now," he said, shocking me.

"Since when?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Since about a year ago, when Lamb moved on to bigger and better things," he replied, then added, "Don't try to change the subject."

"Well, Sheriff," I put emphasis on the word, "I was just leaving. I know we need to talk, but not now. Now is just not the time," I said as I moved to walk past him.

He grabbed my arm. "You can't avoid it forever Veronica. We have to talk sometime. Why not now?" he asked in a low voice.

I sighed, "Well I figured here wasn't the place to tell you that I have a daughter and you might too," I said. He was shocked and his grip on my arm loosened. I took that as my chance to leave. I hurried out of the gym and was in my car, about to turn the key when I heard the passenger door open.

I turned to see Mac sitting next to me. "Leo?" she asked incredulously "He's the father of your daughter?" she continued. "But you guys ended during school. What happened the summer before college Veronica?" she asked.

"Too much," I took a deep breath as I pulled out of the Neptune High parking lot for what I hoped to be the last time. "You know I was with Logan that summer?" I asked.

She nodded before speaking. "Which is why I don't get why you had Leo's daughter. You have some 'splainin to do," she said in a spanish accent.

I couldn't help but laugh as I turned the corner. "Well, one night, right after Logan left, I forget where, I got extremely drunk. Well, the deputy crashed the party I was at and, because I was in no shape to drive, he took me home. Well, nine months later Alyssa arrived while I was attending Stanford and that was why I've stayed away as much as I could. I was ashamed that my cheating had resulted in a child. Don't get me wrong, I love her more than anything. I just wish she was a result of me being with the man I love more than anything," I said, the tears coming to my eyes.

I swallowed the tears as I pulled to a stop. I got out of the car and Mac followed. I walked into the house with her following close behind. I walked into the guest room and picked my daughter up into my arms. I shared a quick word with my dad and left the house. I put Alyssa in the back seat as Mac walked out of my dads house.

She waited until I had started driving to speak. "Do you still love Logan?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, "but I can't tell him that. He'll never forgive me. It's much better off if he doesn't know I love him. Besides, I'm leaving again soon. I have to go back to work. I can't stay forever."

"Why can't you Veronica?" she asked. I looked at her as I stopped in the parking lot of the Camelot.

"Can we talk about this once we get into my room?" I asked. When she nodded I got out of the car and walked up to the room with my daughter in my arms and Mac following close behind.

Once I was seated on the balcony, after leaving my daughter on the bed, I decided to answer her question. She spoke before I could though.

"What the hell are you afraid of Veronica?" she asked as she sat down next to me. I was shocked at how well she knew me, but then realized that I shouldn't be suprised.

"I'm afraid that Logan will hate me because I cheated on him," I said in a soft voice. "I'm afraid that Leo will want me, him and our daughter to become a family together and that I would have to give up on Logan. I'm afraid that I'll have to be with Leo because of Alyssa. Most imortantly though, I'm afraid that Logan still loves me," I said.

"Why Veronica? You love Logan, why does his love scare you?" she asked, looking into my eyes. I broke the gaze and looked at my feet.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid of love in general," I answered truthfully.

"Veronica, you wouldn't have to become a family with Leo and Alyssa just because he's her father. No one can force you to do something you don't wanna do. Alyssa has gotten along so far with out a father. I also don't think that he'll take your daughter from you if you're worried about that," she said.

"Now I remember why we were best friends," I laughed.

"Oh you mean it wasn't just because my mad computer skills?" she teased with a laugh. Then she got serious, "You really should tell Logan you love him."

"I can't Mac. I doubt he'll trust me, I don't even know if he should. He'll be happier with someone else. So I'll have to be the same way. This is just the way it has to be. Does anyone else know that Leo and I have a daughter together?" I asked.

"Nope, as far as I know Logan went out the other door when you walked away from him. No one else was near you and Leo. I didn't even hear, I just guessed," she replied. "I really have to get home though. Please, please think of doing what I said," she said as she stood.

"How are you getting home?" I asked as I stood as well.

"I'll call either a cab or my husband. I'll talk to you tomorrow," she said as she gave me a hug. I nodded before she walked back into the hotel room.

After a moment she enter the hotel room again and I heard her footsteps stop behind me.

"How are you so sure that Alyssa is Leo's and not Logan's?" she asked.

I turned and looked at her. "Well, I'm not," I said hesitantly.

"One more question. How do you know that Logan wouldn't love you're child like his own even if it is Leo's? How do you know he doesn't love you so much that he'd do anything to be with you?"

I turned back around and looked over the balcony, thinking. "That was two questions," I said as I saw Dick pull up.

She must have seen it too because she didn't say anything before she turned and walked away. I heard her footsteps echo through the hallways until they disappeared then I saw her get into Dick's car. She gave me one last significant look before he drove off.

I stood there, looking over the balcony and pondering what she said, for a while before I saw a yellow X-terra pull up.

I sighed as Logan called to me from down below, "Veronica. I need to talk to you. Now."

I sighed, not being able to avoid the inevitable anymore. "Room 465," I said, taking the room key out of my pocket and dropping it over the balcony. I watched him until he disappeared from my view and waited until I heard him open the door then walk through the room before I moved. I turned around to face the door as he opened it.

He handed me the key, but then stepped back and leaned against the wall as I leaned against the railing. I lost track of how long I held his gaze, it could have been mere seconds or it could have been hours. Neither of us said anything, but he slowly approached me, without breaking the gaze, and I didn't move away.

I lost myself in his gaze and I cursed myself at how well I knew he could read me. I knew that he loved me too and that it would be hard for me to leave, but I knew had to do it. I just had to keep telling myself that it's for the best.

All of a sudden he broke the gaze and our lips met. It was the best kiss I had had in five years. All comprehensible thought left my head in that kiss and I lost all my control. When we had to break away for air I realized that Logan had pinned me against the wall and my legs were around his waist, but I didn't recall moving.

I heard my daughters call of mommy and that was when my control and common sense came back. I pushed Logan away and it was obvious that he had heard it too, because he was looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I walked back into the room without saying anything to him and sat on the bed next to Alyssa. "Whats wrong, Lis?" I asked her.

"I was just wondering where you were. Can you tuck me back in bed Mommy and get me a glass of water?" she asked, looking up at me. I smiled, thinking that my daughter was becoming too much like me.

"Alright, but you have to go right back to sleep," I said as I got up. I got her some water and she took a big drink of it before handing it back to me. I set it on the nightstand by the bed and tucked her in before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Mommy, who's that?" she asked, finally voicing the question I had been anticipating.

I turned and saw that Logan was standing in the doorway, watching me interact with my daughter. I swallowed and held back a sigh as I looked back at my daughter. "Just a friend of mine sweetie. Go back to sleep now. It's way past your bedtime," I said sternly, giving her forehead on last kiss before standing and walking to where Logan was. "Pleasant dreams, sweetie," I added before stepping onto the balcony when Logan moved out of my way and closing the door behind me. In the last second before the door closed I heard my daughter say goodnight mommy and I smiled as the door clicked shut.

Then I looked to Logan and remembered what I had to tell him and the smile slipped off my face. This time I avoided his gaze at all cost as I leaned against the wall and slid down into a sitting position, hugging my knees to my chest.

I was relieved when he finally broke the silence. "What's her name?" he asked and I could feel his gaze on me.

I was suprised at the question. Suprised enough to meet his gaze. "You aren't going to ask who her father is?" I asked.

"I figured if she was mine you would have told me, so it doesn't matter to me who she belongs to. She looks like you, she's already got your head tilt thing going on, too. How old is she?" he asked. I was shocked, to say the least, at how well he was taking it.

"Her name is Alyssa and she is four," I sighed and swallowed again, "Her father is the Sheriff," I said, looking down again and not wanting to say the name Leo. I sat there, waiting for his outburst. When he was silent I looked up, shocked once again.

I saw the realization pass over his face and he stood. I tried to figure out what he was thinking, but he had become better at hiding his emotions.

"We can just pretend this didn't happen," I suggested, still trying to read his emotions.

He just sat there, looking at me, as if asking why. I felt like I had to say something, so I did, "Logan, we can't."

As he looked at me I saw a flicker of emotion, I expected anger, rage, sadness, anything, the one thing I didn't really expect was hurt. The emotion was gone as soon as it came and he stoon and left, without saying a word.

I wanted to call him back, scream his name, anything to make him stay, but my voice wouldn't let me. I just stood there, staring at his retreating form. It felt like I was watching my future walk away, or maybe like my heart was being ripped out, or maybe a combination of both feelings.

I hadn't been sure how I would have dealt with the anger, but that was what I expected. The hurt was unexpected and probably the worst of all. I felt like I was deserting him all over again. He had offered me his heart and I had denied it.

After I heard the door to the hotel room click shut I turned and looked back over the railing of the balcony. I watched as he appeared and walked to his car. I watched him drive away without looking back.

Before long I take watching the road where he had disappeared anymore. I turned and slid down to the ground, not wanting to cry, but not really being able to stop the tears.

After a while I stopped myself, telling myself that I was not going to cry over Logan Echolls anymore. I had done that enough during the past five years of my life. I wiped the tears away and picked myself up off the ground before walking back into the hotel room and crawling into bed with my daughter.

A/N: So, you know who the father is now. I know a lot of people wanted the father to be Logan, but don't give up hope yet. LoVe will be in the air. Oh, might I add that if you like Duncan, you shouldn't read this fic. It's not nice to him. Other than that may I say that reviews make me happy. I love getting reviews they help me write better and I appriciate them very much. So, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!

Disclaimer: Once again, Veronica Mars, not mine, characters you don't recognise, mine.