October 13, 9:47 AM, District Court, Defendant Lobby No. 2
"A-Are you really sure you know what you're d-d-doing?" Flippy asked nervously. It was almost time for the trial to begin and Lumpy was looking over the evidence for the fifth time today. He had a look of pure seriousness on his face.
"Don't worry," he replied without even looking up, "The moment this trial starts, I'll butt in, declare you're innocent, and then we're home-free! Simple as that!" Packing his evidence back into his suitcase, Lumpy stood up, brushed himself off and walked into the courtroom.
Flippy slapped his hand against his face and thought miserably, 'I'm doomed...'
October 13, 10:00 AM, District Court, Courtroom No. 2
The moment Lumpy took his seat at the defense bench, the entire courtoom burst into noise as the jury spoke amongst themselves. The judge, a pink old mole wearing spectacles, banged his gavel several times and exclaimed, "The court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Flippy." Almost immediately, the room became silent.
"The Prosecution is ready, Your Honor." Disco Bear exclaimed as he nonchalantly brushed his afro for the tenth time in four minutes. Lumpy rolled his eyes and thought, 'Asswipe...always trying to show off...' When the judge asked if he was ready as well, the blue moose just smirked and exclaimed:
"YOUR HONOR...MY CLIENT, FLIPPY, IS INNOCENT!"
The entire courtroom was quiet for a few minutes before the judge said, "...Mr. Lumpy. At least wait until we actually START the trial before bursting out like that..." Lumpy grinned sheepishly and looked down at the floor in disappointment. Chuckling to himself, Disco Bear began his opening statement.
"The defendant, Flippy, was found at the scene of the crime covered in blood, holding a dirty knife. We have evidence that proves that he was the murderer...as well as we have THREE witnesses to confirm our suspicions!" The judge just nodded to show he understood.
Lumpy's eyes widened in shock. 'Damn him! He told me there were only two witnesses! Where did he get this other person?' Noticing the angry look on Lumpy's face, Disco Bear couldn't help but smirk. "You may now call the first witness, Mr. Bear..." the judge said when he noticed the tense atmosphere between the two attorneys.
Slamming his hand onto the desk, Disco Bear exclaimed, "The prosecution calls the officer at the scene, Detective Shifty, to the stand!"
A dark-green raccoon wearing a fedora stepped up the witness stand and grinned somewhat mischeviously. He didn't look much like a detective, and he was digging through a wallet he had just stole (It was Lumpy's). "Witness...please state your name and profession."
The raccoon named Shifty quickly stuffed the wallet into his pocket and said, "My name's Detective Shifty, sir! I'm the detective in charge of homocide cases at precinct, sir!" All of the sudden, he seemed to be acting too serious for his own good.
Disco Bear nodded and asked, "Now, detective...please describe to us the details of the mass murder..." Shifty saluted the prosecutor and began to explain the horrible incident.
"We recieved a call about the incident at around 3:00 PM and we arrived onto the scene at 3:15 PM. There were six victims, sir! A rabbit named Cuddles, an anteater named Sniffles, a chipmunk named Giggles, a beaver named Handy, a skunk named Petunia, and a deer named Mime. We didn't even need to bother checking if they were dead, sir. All of their bodies had been horribly mutilated..."
"That's horrible...I hope Flippy is given a good death sentence..." said the judge, ignoring the fact that the green bear hasn't even been announced guilty yet.
"Anyway...it took us a while to figure out the identities of the bodies, so we didn't know who they all were until about 7:45 PM that night, sir. Besides the blood, we also found large amounts of sugar to have been spread out all over the crime scene. At the moment, we are still at a lose of how the sugar came about, as we could find no evidence that supported it. And...that's pretty much it!" Shifty finished off his explanation and bowed once.
'Hmm...that testimony was kind of queer...and I mean it in a bad way...' Lumpy thought.
Turning to the blue moose, the judge slammed hsi gavel once and said, "Very well, Mr. Lumpy, you may begin your cross-examination!"
Lumpy smirked and replied, "With pleasure, Your Honor!"
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CROSS EXAMINATION
-- Scene Of The Crime --
Thinking over what Shifty had explained only moments ago, Lumpy noticed something quite interesting.
Slamming his hand against the table (and effectively breaking it), Lumpy exclaimed, "HOLD IT! Detective Shifty, answer me this: Do you or anyone else at precinct know what happened during the 15-minute gap between the call and your arrival to the crime scene? Also, the defendant states that the party where the crime had happened started at 2, yet you recieved a call an HOUR after that? What's up with that...you fugly mofo?"
"I OBJECT TO THE DEFENSE INSULTING THE WITNESS LIKE THAT!" Disco Bear shouted, trying his best to shut Lumpy up.
Aiming his amazing pointer finger at the bear prosecutor, Lumpy shouted, "OBJECTION! THIS ISN'T A WITNESS, MAN! HE'S JUST A LOWLY DETECTIVE AND A KLEPTOMANIAC! BESIDES, I'M SURE YOU HATE HIM, TOO!"
"D-D-Do...Do I get a say in this?" Shifty asked nervously.
Both Disco Bear and Lumpy turned to him at the same time and screamed, "NO, YOU DON'T! NOW, ANSWER THE QUESTION SO WE CAN STOP YELLING!"
Sighing, Shifty took off his fedora and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Well, sir...we're not exactly sure what might have transpired. When we interrogated the witnesses (Nutty, Flaky, and the one MYSTERY witness), all of them had different times for when the murders started. The earliest time the deaths could have happened was at 2:30 PM. So...probably only the party, and then the murders occured during that empty space of time."
Lumpy cursed under his breath. 'All that yelling...and I just get a stupid answer? Godz! ...Wait, I think I have just the evidence I need to bring up a contradiction!' Pulling what looked like a empty grey bag out of his briefcase, Lumpy exclaimed, "HOLD IT! DETECTIVE SHIFTY, I HAVE FOUND AN ACTUAL CONTRADICTION IN YOUR EXPLANATION!"
Disco Bear rolled his eyes, unimpressed. "What would this 'contradiction' of yours happen to be, eh, Mr. Lumpy?" he asked in annoyance. Lifting the empty bag over his head, Lumpy exclaimed, "THIS, MY FRIENDS...IS AN EMPTY BAG OF SUGAR! IT'S THE EXACT SAME KIND OF SUGAR AS THE WHITE POWDER FOUND AT THE CRIME SCENE! I HAD FOUND THIS IN THE KITCHEN...AND THIS IS WHERE THE SUGAR CAME FROM!"
The entire courtroom was filled with an awkward silence. Finally, the judge asked, "...So? Why don't we have it checked for prints, and if anything comes up, then we'll see if it has any real importance to the case..."
- Empty Sugar Bag taken from Court Record, replaced with an old can of tuna (?) -
Sighing, Lumpy sat back in his seat and covered his eyes. 'Shit...all that work and I get nowhere! What the hell was that about?' Suddenly, the judge slammed his gavel on his desk and exclaimed, "I believe it is now time to call in the first witness, correct? Please bring him in, Mr. Bear..."
Bowing to the jury, Disco Bear exclaimed, "I would like to call...Flaky to the witness stand!"